'deductus', like a bride

Taylor Swift and that football player broke up??? She's been seen with a new guy too??? Some racer???

imagine having recurring nightmares of being choked out (homoerotic) at sea and burned alive and also drowned by a mysterious (hot) evil (hot) guy you've never seen before in your life and then one day it turns out he's real but she's actually a butch lesbian and your best friend's actively trying to unwrite her from reality but she's also an idiot and nearly ran over your dog and you have to fix her bike and you're starting to realise you might be transgender. if i can't think of a better way to introduce antony this might end up happening to my good friend sal

going to the corner store to get more corners

he needs a gentle touch *whacks his hand off with an axe*

Last night was a thousand year old scrap of linen paper painstakingly re-assembled by a team of archeologists