#JORKINGITJUNE

“Natsumeeee!”

The beaming smile on Subaru’s face was so bright it was like a rainbow itself had come to greet Natsume at the door. Subaru practically leapt forward to crush him in a hug, which the other boy stiffly accepted.

“I’m really glad to see you! You scared me when you stopped replying to my messages, y’know?” He had a pout on his face when he pulled away, which Natsume guiltily looked away from, though he put on a tone of annoyance.

“Don’t you think your emotions change too quickLY? It’s obvious you’re faKING.”

“Eh? But I really am happy you’re here!”

Natsume sighed. “WhateVER. Can you let me iN? I don’t want people to seE.”

Natsume didn’t know how Subaru could keep up with his cheerful act, but then again, he wasn’t one to talk about not being upfront with his feelings. So many days wasted ignoring calls and texts, going outside with a hint of anxiety in each step, only to end up in Subaru’s dorm room to talk things through in the end. Natsume awkwardly took a seat next to Subaru on his bed, barely getting himself comfy on the mattress when Subaru spoke again.

“So, we should talk about that night, huh?” Subaru got straight to the point. Natsume expected as much, and definitely preferred the directness rather than the careful tiptoeing around the subject, but it was a hard conversation to have all the same.

“That’s what I wanted to talk about toO.”

He had only prepared a basic outline for what he had to talk about, but first came the hard part. He inhaled deeply.

“I’m sor—“

“I swear, I’ll take responsibility!”

“WhaT.”

Subaru grasped Natsume’s hands with his own, his blue eyes shining with determination as he took on a weirdly serious expression.

“I won’t leave you to deal with our baby alone! Let’s get married!”

For a moment, Natsume just stared at Subaru’s face, processing his words, before his face turned red from anger and embarrassment.

“I’m not pregNANT, you fucking idiOT!”

Natsume ripped his hands away and shoved Subaru as hard as he could. He landed with a loud thump with his back on the bed, the confident expression he wore now gone.

“…Huh?” Subaru lifted his head up to look at Natsume’s flushed face, eyebrows raised in confusion. “You’re not? then what did you want to talk about?”

Natsume pinched the bridge of his nose. At least his nerves had calmed down thanks to the sheer outrageousness of Subaru’s imagination.

“As I was saYING…You probably already figured it ouT, but I wasn’t always a guY. It’s too late to tell you what to think, but…I don’t want you to see me any differently now that you knoW.”

Subaru stayed quiet for a moment as he pushed himself back up into a sitting position. He looked downwards towards his legs, deep in thought. It felt like hours had passed before he spoke again.

“You’ve always been a guy to me, so nothing’s changed there. But asking me to see you the same way is impossible.”

Natsume’s anxiety spiked. Was he wrong to think Subaru would understand?

“I keep thinking about that night, you know?” Subaru sighed. “It replays in my head every time I close my eyes. I can hear you, see you, sometimes it’s like I can feel you…but you aren’t really there. I can’t stop thinking about you.”

“What are you saYING?”

“I really had fun that night. And I think you did too.”

Subaru took one of Natsume’s hands into his own, this time with a gentle tenderness as he laced their fingers together and squeezed down.

“I want to see your body again, but this time at our own pace. I don’t remember everything I said that night, but I think—know that I meant it.”

I love you, Natsume.

Natsume could hear Subaru’s voice whispering those words into his ear again, and his heart began to thump louder in his chest. He couldn’t blink or look away as his eyes stared into Subaru’s, so clear and full of sincerity.

“So, could we try it out? Try us out? Will you go out with me?”

Natsume’s lips trembled as they curled into a smile, closing his fingers around Subaru’s hand.

“I’d like thaT.”

Love you too, Baru.

…

“But just to be sure, you really aren’t pregnant?”

“For fuck’s sake, I’m noT. And if I was, it would be gone before you even knew it exisTED.”