#JUSTBUSTEDJULY

Before you follow:

This is a primarily NSFW blog

This is not really a requests blog, though I do do ask games every once in a while! I am always open for suggestions and thirsts (which I may or may not get carried away with responding to oops)

Minors DNI with NSFW content. I can't stop you from reading or anything, but I am not in your age range and it would be inappropriate to interact with me. Please respect this boundary.

No tolerance for bigotry. This includes but is not limited to: Homophobia, Transphobia (including against transmascs), Intersexism, Aphobia, Misogyny, Racism, Xenophobia, and Ableism

Also now adding this because it's relevant: No Zionists, Antisemites, or Trump Supporters. Why you think you'd be welcome here?

Radfems are especially not welcome. Jeez, y'all act like you don't count as bigots.

Conversation, teasing, jokes, and questions are very welcome!! but please please please i'm begging you do not *actually* flirt with me in asks or dms you will get nowhere don't even think about it.

Welcome topics:

Breeding and topics related to pregnancy

Queer relationships

Femstars, Genderbending, and trans HCs

yes you can thirst about the current enstars 3rd years but forgive me my awkwardness while i get used to it

Topics Preferred behind Warnings

CNC/Dubcon

Bloodplay, Impactplay, and Weaponplay

Unbalanced power dynamics (ex: professor/student or boss/employee)

DIscussions of sex under the influence of drugs/alcohol

Unwelcome topics:

2nd/1st year students in enstars

Underage characters in general

Incest/Pedophilia/otherwise inappropriate age gaps

Stepcest

Explicit noncon

Woundplay and amputation kinks

Beastiality or Zoophilia

Raceplay

Sexual age regression

Scat/Watersports/fart kink

Feederism

gender bending with canonically trans characters

Detransitioning

If you're unsure on a specific kink or topic, just ask 👍

LINKS:

✦Masterlist✦

✧Tagging✧

✦ ao3 ✦

✧ main blog (SFW)✧

It’s a music festival unlike any type Crazy:B has participated in before that is your assignment. 

Cosmic Productions seemed like the perfect opportunity for you when you first got the offer to work for them. The pay seemed great, the benefits even better, and the experience it brought to your resume was the best thing you could get at this point in your career. Truly, a dream come true! What else could you ask for? 

And then the job started. 

Micromanaging supervisors breathing down your neck, tight budgets for every non-major job, deadlines for presentations and proposals that were outright obscene- the list never ended. Especially as a new producer. You had to just take every job you were told to do and there was no pushback you could give that would actually get you anywhere. Every hard conversation derailed with a raincheque and every complaint added to a box they would never check. 

You were at the end of your rope and with no bites on other job applications, you were ready to just give up and try your hand at retail. Just a few more jobs to complete to pad your wallet before you put in your notice... and that’s when you got to work with Crazy:B for the first time. 

It was a minor job, a complete flurry of days full of many panicked phone calls and difficult contractors, but it was a success. That Amagi kept you on your toes the whole way, constantly planning things without telling you- things that often went in exact contradiction of what you had planned- but you kept up as best you could. Despite their infamous reputation, you kept the ball rolling and at the end, the reports returned to you from the finances department showed nothing but green. 

Ever since then, you’ve been finding yourself graced with much better opportunities. Proposals with more creative freedom, larger budgets in every category, higher priority for resources, every single complaint you’d previously had being addressed! Not to mention that they’re now scheduling you regularly with Crazy:B so you’re finally getting to forge a positive relationship with your idols as a producer! Now you’ve helped Nki with scoring a sponsorship with a sauce company, created an event outline for a specific live Rinne wanted to hold, walked Kohaku through becoming the face of a seasonal clothing line, and more. 

While you’ve been fostering this relationship with everyone in the unit, one member in particular ended up becoming unexpectedly close to you: 

HiMERU. 

He was harsh with his unitmates (especially Rinne, but it’s not like you could blame him) when they irritated him, but he was never anything other than polite with you for that first year that you got to work with him. Over time, little cracks in the shell become more and more obvious. The way his smile became more tight-lipped after a long job would tell on his exhaustion while subtly twitching brow would indicate his waning patience before he ever let a complaint leave his mouth. On the flip side, the way he’d tilt his head when he heard good news showed his pleasure while the corners of his eyes crinkling shut was one of the few signs he gave when he felt genuinely happy. All his signs were discreet, yes, but he was readable, and you took pride in taking care of your idols. 

His own schedule is always busy, but he somehow always seems to drop by your desk for a friendly chat or a question about a job when you’re feeling a bit overwhelmed and ending up lending a hand. The shift in your professional relationship was slow, but noticeable. Impersonal politeness started crumbling away in favor of a more familiar directness to even the occasional playful poking and prodding. 

You don’t dare hope for more, but it felt nice knowing your efforts were appreciated by as serious an idol as HiMERU. 

Now here you are, having brought your idols outside of the country to participate in their biggest music show to date. It’s been week after week of contract negotiations, outfitting appointments, and grueling practice but the roar of the audience tells you how big of a success it’s been. 

With their set over, Crazy:B saunters off the stage into the space behind it. They’re so accustomed to running full shows that a mere 30-minute set leaves them wanting more, and it shows. Rinne throws his arms around his unitmates like nothing, Niki laughs like every joke is the funniest thing he’s heard, Kohaku beams with the biggest smile he can muster, and HiMERU walks with a bounce to every step. 

Quite honestly, it fills you with pride to see how close they’ve become and how far they’ve gone but if you start getting sentimental now, you’ll never hear the end of it, so instead you high five each member as they come. 

They file past you into their dressing room and you pat yourself on the back for a job well done. There’s only so much left for you to do now, so you head off on your own way. Wasn’t there a networking event happening at the hotel anyways? Talking sounds like a big task for tonight, but it beats being out in the heat at the festival, so it’ll have to do. 

You text the idols in a groupchat your plans and receive a variety of responses. They could, in theory, stay at the festival with their VIP passes, but they seem to agree with you about the temperature. There’s plenty of shuttles between the festival grounds and the hotel, so they should have no problems catching up to you and thus, you set off. 

The moment you arrive at the venue, two glasses of champagne are immediately handed to you. Attendants meander around between groups of people, encouraging them to take more. Jeez, just how much booze did they buy for this event? You heard tale of the festival director’s love of drinking, but this is even more than you expected... 

Regardless of your opinion, you’re now staring around helplessly at the crowd with full hands.  

Idols and performers mingle around you but unfortunately, not a single familiar face seems to be in sight. You wait a while, letting the champagne warm in the glasses, and keep your eyes on the entrance in case someone you know stumbles in. In theory, you should be networking, but talking still feels like too much work after the frantic preparations of this morning. 

Eventually, you receive a text stating “We’re here!” from Kohaku but no sign of them when you look around. Asking directly has you being left on read so once again, it seems you’re on your own. 

Usually, you can at least spot Rinne easily because of how loud and attention-grabbing he is, but he must somehow be blending in with the crowd as well. A frown settles on your face at this realization, maybe if you get a better vantage point? 

You make your way to a corner of the room that seems a bit emptier but even there, looking around the venue grants you a whole lot of nothing. 

You meander around awkwardly. Of course, you knew this was an event hosting artists from all over the world, but that knowledge hits differently when you hear 10 different languages being spoken casually withing 10 minutes- and none of them being a language you speak. How would you approach anyone here without the risk of approaching someone you can’t even speak with? 

You shake your head and make up your mind to try and find your idols again. End tables with decorative plants line every wall but thankfully, there’s just enough space for you to put down a glass and pull out your phone. 

On your homescreen, a message stands out. 

> Hello Producer. Where are you? 

It’s from HiMERU, ever direct as always. You’re sure him and the rest of the bees are still somewhere around the venue, but a quick look around the room shows no sign of them anywhere. 

> The main hall. Where are you? 

You aren’t expecting an immediate reply, but one comes in anyways, soon followed by a second one. 

> HiMERU is sitting outside. 

> He will come fetch you. 

Sitting outside... of course that makes sense. There’s outside seating too, no wonder you haven’t spotted them if they’re all out there. 

You grab your glass and speedwalk your way to one of the side doors, trying to peer between the crowds and out the window in case you catch a glimpse of someone familiar. To your delight, you spot familiar blue hair coming through the doorway right on time. 

“HiMERU! It’s good to see you.” 

“HiMERU is happy to see you too.” 

Despite his words, his brow is lightly furrowed in a way that screams otherwise. He’s usually quite good at masking his emotions but tonight, something must be dragging on him. Asking him a question about himself- even ones as innocent as how he’s feeling- tends to be a gamble, but you make up your mind to try anyways. 

“Are you having a good night so far?” 

His frown deepens for a moment like you reminded him of something “Yes, he is. This evening has treated him well.” 

You scour your brain for whatever might be on his mind, but come up blank “Are you sure? You seem a bit... tense?” 

“It’s nothing to concern yourself with.” A sharp voice, but his face relaxes. Whether intentional or not, it remains to be seen. 

“Perhaps a headache? Sorry for inviting you all out here. I should’ve let you all rest instead.” You thought you had phrased your text to the group as just an invitation, but looking back on it, it might have been a bit less obvious than you intended... 

HiMERU barely restrains a bitter laugh “A headache with red hair and an annoying voice, yes.” 

Ah yes, that would make sense. 

Something flashes across his face before you can respond about the implied culprit of his irritation. He faces you directly and frowns once again. 

“Producer, drinking that much at a work event is not- actually,” he pauses in contemplation before sighing “-it doesn’t matter.” 

“I don’t plan on drinking both of them!” You huff in response. 

He turns to face the crowd around you but, to your surprise, doesn’t walk away despite your apparent slight on your job “Where did you get those?” 

It takes you a moment to register that he’s talking about your unfortunate two drinks but when it does, you exhale sadly. 

“There’s some servers walking around with platters of them.” You gesture vaguely at your fellow attendees with one glass “They’re real insistent. I think they might be the director's personal staff.” 

HiMERU scoffs “That man likes drinking too much” 

“Definitely.” 

Silence settles between you two as you watch the crowd. It’s strange how easy it is to feel alone in a room full of people; as if there were a bubble around the two of you alone. Especially in a situation like this where everyone seems to be drinking. The substance is sure to blur some memories of the night at the very least.e two of you alone. Especially in a situation like this where everyone seems to be drinking. The substance is u 

“...HiMERU will have one drink.” 

The offer makes your eyes widen and your face nearly whip to look at him “Great-!” 

“-Only one.” He’s quick to hold out a single finger as if to emphasize his decision. 

You smile “Fine by me.” 

He takes the glass and has a sip. Based on the way his face did not immediately contort into a disgusted grimace, you guess the fizzy drink can’t be that bad. 

You take a sip yourself and find yourself surprised that it isn’t just not-that-bad, but instead, delightfully sweet like candy. You wince anyways; overly sweet drinks are the most dangerous ones. 

You’re probably better off not worrying about the alcohol content in them. Time to turn your mind elsewhere. 

“Did the others not come?” 

You’re mostly just asking to be polite. It would be more surprising if they all came to a networking event instead of going to their hotel room or staying at the festival. 

To your surprise, that’s not the case. 

“No, everyone arrived.” HiMERU answers you after a sip of his drink. It’s not quite soda, but it is fizzy and sweet. Makes sense that he’d like it. 

“So you all went out afterwards...?” 

He shakes his head “HiMERU lost them before ever stepping outside.” 

Swishing the glass around, he watches the liquid stir before taking part again. 

“He suspects that they might have returned to the music festival.” 

There are shuttles going back and forth between the festival grounds and the staff hotel... It would be easy for them to just pop into one and disappear off to the grounds again. It’s disappointing that none of them would think to give you a heads-up but then again, this is Crazy:B you’re working with... 

“Amagi complained that it was too boring here and that he wanted to go somewhere else. The other’s may have followed, but HiMERU can’t be certain.” 

“I see... None of them have answered my messages yet.” 

HiMERU doesn’t respond. In silence, he takes another sip of his drink. 

Not a single answered text. It makes you deflate a bit on the inside. Honestly? You probably should have just stayed at the venue yourself. The champagne has been nice and all but truly, there are better ways you could be spending your time. 

“I can’t blame them. Even as a producer, I don’t see the point in staying.” 

As if beckoned by your complaints, an attendant shows up to your side, startling you. Before you can blink, she pulls the last two champagne flutes off her tray and attempts to hand them to you. 

“Here! Let me get you a refill for those!” 

She smiles much too brightly, and you give her a strained one in return. 

“Oh no, I couldn’t possibly-” 

She ignores your protest, shoving a hand with two champagne glass stems between her fingers into your space.  

“Here! One for now and one for the road!” The server drops the tray to her side so that you can’t even return the glasses of golden liquid to it. 

Her smile is too intense for you to put your foot down. Reluctantly, you grab one glass in each hand and mumble a thank you. She bows much too deeply for the occasion and wades into the crowd without so much as a “you’re welcome.” 

The champagne is good and all, but should you really be drinking that much at work event? Sure, a second glass isn’t all that much, but a third one does seem a bit.... questionable. Reluctantly, you turn back to the man who bailed you out of having two glasses earlier. 

“Hey, HiMERU...” 

HiMERU raises an incredulous eyebrow when you look at him, daring you to continue. 

“Please...?” 

He huffs and his eyebrows pinch together. 

“HiMERU will dispose of one for you.” 

He takes one of the glasses by the stem, pinching it a distance away from his body like it’s tainted. 

Once again, the drink is sweet and fizzy, much too easy to drink until it’s gone. Unfortunately for you, that’s exactly what you end up doing. 

As does HiMERU. 

Truth be told, you’re not sure what else he could have done with his; every surface possible is already full with a mix of decor and other people’s abandoned glasses. Both empty and full. Aren’t attendants supposed to be taking them away? 

Whatever, at least a tipsy HiMERU makes for a good conversation partner. 

He’s direct already in most conversations you have with him but with the addition of alcohol, it’s like the leash he kept on his sharp tongue has slipped off. He’s nearly catty like this. 

“I don’t know why they gave me two glasses twice! Do I look like I drink that much?” 

You wave around the empty glass in front of you and he mindlessly copies the gesture. 

“No, you don’t. It’s because they can tell you’re weak.” 

Case in point, he’s said something completely unexpected. You frown. “Wha-?” 

He raises his glass like he’s pointing it at you- luckily, it’s empty- and firmly meets your gaze. 

“You’re too nice... They can tell you won’t fight them on it. You’re very-” He looks like he has more to say but he stops in his tracks, staring off into space. 

You look at him and nod in an attempt to encourage him to keep talking. It’s rare that he speaks his mind like this; you’ve wondered what he thought about you in the past. It might finally be time for you to learn tonight! 

“HiMERU...” He starts speaking with great hesitation “...Can’t drink as much as he thought.” He says pinching his nose bridge and not so subtly steadying himself with his other hand on the back of a chair. 

Well, it looks like your curiosity will just have to be settled some other time. 

“Do you need some fresh air? Or some water? I can go find-” 

“-What he needs is to lay down.” His voice is a bit sharp in the way it gets when he feels unwell. 

 You’ve heard it a couple of times throughout your professional relationship with him, but this is your first time being the cause of his ailment. You wonder... this afterparty is being held in a hall connected to the hotel where you booked Crazy:B a room. Surely it can’t be that hard to get him to his hotel room? A glance at your phone shows you no responses from any of the other bees, so you’ll just have to figure this one out on your own. 

“Do you want to go back to the hotel?” 

His mouth and eyes remain closed but he nods. 

“Alright. Uh, here-” You put a hand on his shoulder in a way that can be brushed off as casual to guide him “I think we should go this way.” 

*** 

Thankfully, security is fairly easy to maneuver past with your staff badge and HiMERU’s performer badge. They point you in the direction of the nearest elevator and just like that, you’re off on your way. Slowly but surely, you are able to make it back to the idol’s room. It’s slow-going with the way HiMERU’s shoulder won’t stop bumping into you, but you stumble there eventually anyways. 

(it’s a bit concerning how easily susceptible he seems to be to the effects of alcohol. Has he not eaten today? Is his body fat truly that low? You make a mental note to keep a closer eye on him) 

He pulls out his room card from the moment you stepped out the elevator. Thankfully, the halls are empty while you make your slow way to the correct room. He fumbles with the door, trying to tap the keycard against the lock before he realizes he’s supposed to swipe it on the side to let the two of you in. 

The stress of emails and papers seems so far away in this hotel suite with the sounds of the festival still booming in the distance. Everything melts away in the cold air of the room, and you feel your tipsy brain becoming clearer by the second. 

Despite the success Crazy:b has had (and the funding it entails) you still have to make the occasional sacrifice to stay within budget. On this particular trip, a good chunk of that cash went straight to paying for the only available room at the hotel connected to the venue- a mandatory part of the contract you signed to secure the job. The two queen beds that sit in the room act as a reminder of how miserable of a night your idols are going to have. 

Well, that’s a future problem- arguably not even your problem anymore- so you have no trouble sitting on the corner of the one nearest the door. HiMERU follows suit and lays down flat on his back on the other one. 

The quiet between you two is thick like a blanket, comfortable and soft. The bass from the festival occasionally vibrates the room windows, and you tap away on your phone but, other than that, nothing disturbs your peace. 

Peace, however, can easily become boredom. 

There’s only so many times you can reread conversations where you’re the last person to say something before you get bored. HiMERU is no help, his hands are neatly folded on his chest, but his eyes are still closed while his chest slowly raises and lowers with calm breaths. It’s hard to tell if he’s asleep or not but for his sake, you hope he at least drinks some water before he properly retires for the night. 

You get up carefully, making sure to not make the bed squeak under the changing weight. Just a peek out the window, and you’ll be on your way. 

Outside, the festival rages on. It’s not even past midnight yet, but you already feel ready to call the day over. Lights and lasers emanate from the stage and even from here you can tell their strength. It’s been a long day of hard work to bring all this joy to all the festival-goers; You can only hope that your efforts will pay off now. 

“Thank you, Producer.” 

The sound of a voice behind your startles you. You jump and turn around just to find HiMERU very much not asleep as you would have expected him to be. 

“You’re awake?” 

His eyes sparkle and crinkle just the slightest bit at your response. Amusement, you think. 

“HiMERU is not tired.” He squeezes in closer to you to peer out the window whose blind you still hold open “He thinks that just being away from the crowd has him feeling better.” 

It’s good news and while words come to mind, they fail to reach your mouth. He’s just so close to you like this. You can get a perfect look at him right now; every little divot and crease in his skin. Truly, a beautiful man. 

He turns to face you and while you smile, a soft frown graces his face. 

“There would be a scandal if fans spotted you and HiMERU like this.” 

He’s not wrong. Despite this being an entirely innocent moment between the two of you, the implications of an idol and his producer being alone together in a hotel room without telling anyone... 

You shrug your shoulders and back away from the curtains. “Yeah.” 

“We’re not doing anything, but you’re right.” Scandals happen all the time for over much minor offenses. It’s saddening, having to always keep them at an arm's length for the sake of both of your careers “I would say were closer than the average idol-producer duo though; You’ve always been good to me.” 

The words leave your mouth before you can think of any possible implications. HiMERU tends to have that kind of impact on you, making you forget yourself. Very quickly, you find the implications hitting your own ear, and you shrivel in your skin. Innocent enough to be normal for average people, just suggestive enough to stand out for an idol. 

You don’t dare turn to look at him, but the image of him frozen stiff conjures itself in your mind. Possibly even opening and closing his mouth like a fish while he fights for words.  

“You’re a good producer.” 

You grimace and peek outside the window one final time. Just a quick glance at the festival lights to remind yourself of your position. 

“And you’re a good idol to produce.” 

There’s a silence that settles over you that makes your skin prickle. It’s not quite uncomfortable this time, but there’s something lingering in the air.  

Eventually, he’s the one to break the silence and address what’s unsaid. 

“HiMERU...” he pauses, hesitation clear in his voice. “... He believes you are closer to him than most people.” 

Every single word is said slowly, like he’s thinking very intensely about which one to say next.  

You take a step closer to him, staring into his eyes. The color of honey, as rich and enticing as his voice. Are you about to cross a line? He smells good too; his cologne smells of suede and bergamot, warm and musky with a hint of citrus- utterly intoxicating. Everything about him calls you closer. To get a better look at his face, to smell the collar of his shirt, and- most dangerously- to feel his body pressed against yours. 

You expect him to back away but, to your shock, he doesn’t. If anything, he seems to lean closer. 

All it takes for your resolve to break is seeing the way he stares at your lips. 

You rush to press yours to his, letting impulse lead you before you can talk yourself out of it. They’re sticky from what's probably chapstick, but soft and plump. Everything you could have expected if you’d ever dared to let your mind wonder. 

He doesn’t kiss back, instead standing stock-still. When you pull back, you find his eyes wide open.  

Did you just ruin everything? 

Thankfully, he doesn’t let you spiral for more than a moment before he moves to make his opinion clear; He yanks you back in by the front of your shirt, smashing his mouth into yours with infinitely more intensity than what you used to kiss him. 

It almost hurts, but you're sure the haze from earlier drinks is dulling the feeling in your lips. He bites and nips and licks your mouth with such force that it’s hard to keep up. How long has he been holding this all back? You try your best to keep up the pace but step by step, you end up backing into one of the beds and your knees instantly crumple. 

He doesn’t hesitate when you fall instead; he’s quick to place a knee at both sides of your body and hover over you. While you are saddened by the fact that you can’t eat his face from this distance, the feeling becomes replaced with arousal 

A flash of clarity strikes through your brain as you look up at him. Fuck, are you about to sleep with the idol you’re producing? 

As if having the same thoughts as you, he holds back from jumping back onto you, his skin visibly prickling with cold hotel room air and what’s probably caution for his career. You feel the need to ask him: 

“You really want to do this?”  

Your voice cuts through the hum of the air conditioning like a knife. It was hardly more than a whisper, but you might as well have screamed it out. It doesn’t help that HiMERU just sits and stares at you. 

He closes his eyes and holds them shut for an anxiety-inducing few seconds before finally answering. 

“Yes... ‘I’ do.” 

The phrasing of his statement is jarring compared to what you’re used to hearing from him. Usually such a composed man... Usually such a stiff man.... but now he’s flustered. Not only is he speaking with words he usually would not, but his tone is like that of someone starved. Red in the face and so obviously unbearably horny- He probably couldn't meet the gaze of a mirror right now. 

He blinks at you. His golden eyes are just as intense as always in their stare; They seek something in your expression, but you can’t tell exactly what. Goodness, he really is quite handsome, isn’t he? His skin is clear like porcelain, the texture glassy and free of any marks. His eyelashes are long and naturally curled, with eyebrows perfectly groomed to fit his face. Sure, seldom will you find an idol who is conventionally “ugly” per say, but HiMERU truly is on a different level of beauty- 

“Do you want to do this?” 

Ah, that would be what’s going through his brain, of course; that makes sense. 

“I do.”  While you try to sound decisive, HiMERU continues to stare holes into your face. Your response lingers in the air uncomfortably, so you elaborate “...I want you.” 

Maybe it’s the alcohol he’s feeling, or was it that you gave the ‘wrong’ answer? His face is unreadable. He’s not making any moves to remove your hands from him or to get off of you, but he’s also not making any moves to continue and every second longer of this standstill makes something small and awkward build in your stomach. 

You’re about to suggest you stop when he descends to his elbows and hides his face in the side of your neck. His breath tickles against your skin and makes electricity run right down your spine from where you feel it. He only stays there a moment, but it’s enough for him to recompose himself a bit. He pulls away just as quickly as he had hid and looks down at your body under him. 

“Okay...” HIMERU takes a deep breath, shifting your grasp around his back. His expression faulters and he seems nearly conflicted for a moment, but the emotion leaves his face before you can be sure of what you’re seeing “...Okay.” 

His arms tremble when he reaches for you again, so you decide to pitch in and yank him down by the collar of his shirt. A small, surprised sound is all he has the time to make before your faces are pressed together once again. It starts calm, but it can only ever remain that way for so long; the heat ramps up and up and before you know it, the passion from earlier returns. 

He’s by no means heavy, but his lithe body is packed with muscle from hours upon hours of weekly practice, and he feels solid under your touch. Solid and... Warm. So unbelievably warm. Every time you’ve felt his skin up to this point has led you to believe he always runs cold. Brushing his fingers against yours when you’ve handed him papers or clothing or makeup or anything has always shocked you with an icy touch. Now, the warmth of his back pressing on your hands is practically burning. 

He presses another intense, open-mouthed kiss to your lips. Messy and rough, with flesh getting pinched between teeth and lips getting sucked into mouths. There’s no particular taste to his mouth (other than the lingering tang of champagne that is), but you swear there must be something addictive in his saliva. You can’t help but go back for more and more. When he pulls his head back to take a single gasping breath, you follow right after, straining your neck up to reach him once again 

He’s not holding himself back any more than you are. His nipping and licking on your teeth and inside your mouth returns as soon as he gains his breath. His hair falls around both of your faces like a curtain from the outside world.  

This is beyond inappropriate and some sober neuron in the back of your head is screaming at you to stop, but the part of your brain that has craved HiMERU with a hunger stronger than anything else in the world wants nothing more than to take a chunk out of his face and come back for seconds. 

It’s not just your faces that are pressed together either. At some point, one of his knees landed between both of your own, spreading your legs while both hands work at pulling you closer to him. He feels nice against you. Simultaneously grounding and stimulating. For someone who seems like such a prude, he seems to have no hesitation in anything he’s doing right now. You might be physically close to him at the moment, but the realization of how little you personally know him feels like a stab to your chest. How experienced even is he? You don’t care what the answer is, but you care about HiMERU enough to want to- 

Something must have shown on your face. His eyebrows furrow and he pulls back just briefly enough to adjust your positioning. He hooks an elbow under your knee and you find it pushed upwards until your thigh presses lightly on your body. His leg replaces the spot where you’re own was and finally, his hips properly slot against your own. A move just distracting enough to leave you wondering if it was on purpose 

He’s hard, the alcohol clearly not having an impact on his circulation at least. The layers of clothing dull the details of his body, but his dick is unmistakable against your own clothed crotch. You hadn’t even realized how much you were aching for some kind of contact until a small twitch of his hips grinds him against you in the most delicious way possible. You both moan and groan unashamedly into each other’s mouth. 

Dryhumping like a pair of horny teenagers... Well, there’s definitely worse ways your night could have ended. It feels nice even if it isn’t quite enough to get you all the way there. At least there’s enough to get you hot and bothered between the rhythm of your hips and lips. You really do wish you could turn the tables on him. It feels nice to be desired in this way, but you want to toy with him too. Rile him up just as much as he does you... 

In your search for a way to control him, one of your hands ends up creeping into his hair near the base of his neck, tangling it around your fingers. The way his breathing stops when you give it a weak tug doesn’t evade your attention, and when you take an opening to drag him around by it- more specifically back to your face for another kiss- the sound he makes is unmistakably lewd. Louder than anything that can be played off with his dignity intact. Is that where he’s weak? Is that all it takes to have him putty in your hands? The discovery has your blood burning and your mind racing with ideas. 

His face might’ve turned red if you gave him the chance to bask in the echo of his own voice, but taking advantage of his weakness to trail kisses down his neck is a more appealing option right now. He’s easily maneuverable like this, going everywhere you lead him with even the most minute of pulls on his silky hair. It’s not long before he’s practically arching his back at you pulling his hair and nibbling at his pulse. 

(You debate saying something to tease him, but you’re already pushing his buttons enough as is; probably best not to if you want the fun to continue.) 

Mouth on his neck and one hand holding him by his hair, it feels wrong to not do anything with your other one, so you quickly busy it with the buttons on his shirt. He opted for a simple white button up for the afterparty. While it definitely added to his prim and proper impression, it’s also definitely getting on your nerves with how many buttons separate you from more of his bare skin. One after another, they start popping open, giving you access to more skin with each one. 

Tentatively, you move your mouth down to his neck, pulling him upwards by his hair to prevent you from having to strain your neck. You halfway expect him to take back control, but he seems to be even more into this than you are. The sounds HiMERU makes while you toy with him only get louder and needier by the second; You’re not sure how long he’s going to last like this, but you sure are eager to find out at least. 

You thrust your body against his, meeting his desperate rocking and you soon fall into a messy rhythm. He hides his head against your neck once more and you follow along, letting go of his hair to instead feel down his now bare spine, feeling every single ridge and bump of his bones. Even from the back, his ribs are unfortunately easy to feel and it brings you no small pang of concern. No wonder two glasses are all it took to have him needing a break... 

Mentally, you shake your head and bring yourself back to the moment. He’s the last person to appreciate feeling pitied; you’re better off enjoying what you have now rather than losing yourself in concerns for his wellbeing. 

You’re about to start fighting with the button of his pants when HiMERU suddenly gasps and nearly rips his own hair out with how quickly he moves. His spine bends the opposite way, leaving him hunched over you with his hips twitching desperately against the junction of your thigh and your body. 

He pants, grinding forward with every breath. His hard dick presses into you deliciously but soon, you find yourself wanting and looking for more. It would be easy to wrap a leg behind his ass and push him into you harder... but he seems tired now. As if- 

It suddenly hits you what might have just happened. 

“Did you just-” 

“Don’t.” He pants in your ear almost pathetically “...Don’t mention it.” 

His grinding slowly loses its desperate edge to it while he rides out the aftershock of his high. You’re still feeling needy, and you desperately want to just shove your own hand down your pants, but you suppose you can wait until he’s ready to do it for you as well. 

It’s okay, in the meantime, you can bask in the luxury of having this beautiful man in your grasp and card your hands through his hair. 

“...HiMERU doesn’t intend on leaving you like this.” 

You chuckle “I know.” 

After a little bit longer spent gently rocking between your legs, HiMERU lifts himself up onto his hands once more and looms over you. 

“If you will let him, HiMERU would like to take care of you now.” 

He says the words almost shyly, face red with what's probably both embarrassment and arousal. 

Well, it’s not like you’re going to complain about this. 

“I’m at your mercy~.” 

HiMERU smiles and before you know it, he’s holding you by the chin and leaning in for another go at it. 

He places a kiss upon your lips that happens in a sharp contrast to the previous ones you shared. It’s gentle, almost chaste in nature. It lacks the intensity of earlier, but the confidence behind the action leaves you with no room to wonder whether or not he also wants to continue. Intimate. 

Your traitorous stomach flutters at the action and even in your dubious mind right now, you know to fight back those feelings. 

His face doesn’t go far; he starts kissing softly down your face, over your chin, down to your neck where he pauses. While you’ve at least partially undressed him, your own formal wear remains mostly in place, and this fact seems to hit him at the same time it does you. He mouths at and gently bites your neck while his hands get to work unbuttoning your shirt. 

One at a time, they come undone. He’s much more delicate with you than you are him as evidenced by the slow release of your buttons compared to how you nearly ripped his off. A stray thought pops into your mind that makes you wonder if he’s being this slow on purpose to rile you up, but it’s gone as quickly as it arrived. Every time he reveals a new section of your body, he inches down just the slightest bit more. Button by button until his lips are leaving pecks right on the center of your chest.  

It’s all so beautifully sensual that you can’t help but want more more more. His hands move to finally pull the top off your shoulders and down your arms when a sound catches your attention. 

The sound of vague conversation and scratching. 

In a heartbeat, HiMERU jumps off of you and pulls you up almost too quickly. He buttons his pants and shirt and when he notices you blankly staring at him, he frowns and uses his deft hands to fix yours too. 

He finishes fixing both of your appearances just in time as you hear the hotel door click open. In walks Kohaku with a keycard in hand followed up by Rinne loudly complaining about how the keycard must hate him or something. 

HiMERU walks away from you and feigns looking for something in his luggage, and you scramble for your phone to act like you weren’t a minute away from dragging his face to your crotch. The two other bees walk around the corner from the entranceway, and you brace yourself for whatever it is they’ll say. 

“Producer-han? What are you doing here?” 

You freeze like a deer in headlights, barely remembering how to breathe while you come up with something on the spot. 

“I wanted to congratulate you all on a job well-done. Fans are raving on social media, you know?” Your praise starts out stilted and awkward, but you recover and twist it to something more genuine, “I’m proud of you all. You’ve come far.” 

With every word you feel your producer's brain coming back to replace the lint in your head. Neither idol seems to have caught on so you must be at least doing a good enough job...that is, until something hits you  

“Where’s Shiina-san?” 

It’s Rinne that answers for the duo though he is most definitely not acting like a leader right now. 

“Dunno, he wandered off. Probably following his nose to the nearest buffet or something.” He says with a shrug. 

You’d assumed the three other bees had disappeared together. You frown in concern, was there a buffet at the hall? Were there even any snacks at all other than the flutes? 

“Have either of you tried calling him?” 

“I did. He didn’t answer though...” Kohaku pulls up his phone, swiping through some screens to show you the unanswered calls and texts between them. 

While it’s true that he’s an adult who is more than capable of taking care of himself, he’s also one of the idols you produce. An idol who you do not fully trust to not end up somewhere he’s not supposed to be. 

“He’ll be fineeee, don’t worry about him.” Rinne flops onto the other side of the bed you’re sitting on before flipping over and kicking his legs like a schoolgirl “Come on, let’s have some shots in here and keep the party going!” 

“You’re disgusting, Rinne-han.” 

HiMERU finally stands up from his luggage, apparently having not been faking looking for things as evidenced by a change of clothing in one hand and a bag of toiletries in the other. 

“HiMERU thinks we’ve all had enough for tonight” He walks by the other two bees without a glance, making a b-line for the bathroom. 

“Eh Merumeru? You saying you also drank-” Rinne gets up and rushes to step in HiMERU’s path with a certain look in his eyes. 

While HiMERU looks like he’s a moment away from slapping someone, Rinne grins like a hyena and Kohaku gasps, scandalized. 

“Shut it Amagi.” 

“I never thought I’d see the day my dear blue bee let loose-” 

HiMERU sidesteps Rinne’s attempt at throwing an arm over his shoulder, glaring at him through the corner of his eye “-HiMERU is going to shower now.” 

HiMERU speedwalks to the bathroom door with Rinne hot on his heels like a puppy. 

“-Hey! Come onnn have a drink with your dear leader!” 

The door closes right in Rinne’s face, and a click tells everyone to not even try opening it. 

The silence only lasts for a second before a certain, unmistakably whiny voice takes control again. “Merumeru’s sooooo mean! Isn’t that right, Kohaku-chan?” 

“No, I think HiMERU-han has got the right idea.” 

You can’t help but chuckle at their usual banter. You’re about to add to the fire when your phone buzzes and the words die on your tongue. Pulling it out of your pocket, you find a text from none other than HiMERU himself. 

> HIMERU owes you one. 

It takes a moment for the meaning of his text to hit your brain. Ah yes, you just made this man cum in his boxers. Right, you had forgotten about that with how hard you were trying to fake normalcy. 

A minute later, while you’re still trying to figure out how to respond to his first message, he sends another. 

> Let him know when you are free so he can make it up to you. 

The distinct feeling of peering over a railing somewhere high up, staring down the side of a building, looking deep into a canyon or valley... Something that puts your body on edge to stop you from making the mistake of falling into it. That exact feeling is what courses through your veins as you read his texts. 

Irresponsible. Inappropriate, Irresistible. 

You’ve fallen too deep into this one to get out already. You can’t conjure up a response, but you like the message anyways. It’s as good as an admission of guilt as you can get. 

You’ll just have to ride this ride and see where it takes you. 

Your hands shake as you carefully pull up Asra’s shirt. His body is solid and warm under Your you, only moving to breathe through swollen lips. You’re trying not to seem as nervous as you feel, but it’s hard to quell the tremors that course through your body. There’s been many a heated moment between you two in the past but now? Now it seems like you might be going all the way. 

And it is terrifying. 

He’s had no problems letting you take the lead and setting the pace for your whole relationship so far, but that doesn’t mean he can help himself from a little teasing every now and then. 

“It’s cute how concentrated you are” 

Usually, you would bite back with your own teasing. Right now, you can’t. Uncertainty bubbles under your skin and the nip to your concentration squeezes some of it out of your mouth. 

“Listen, if we’ve done this before then I don’t remember it!” 

You try to play it off as a joke with a lilt to your tone, but your voice gives away unease that’s settled in your body anyways. You know Asra better than you do anyone else in this world just as he does you. You know you shouldn’t be afraid of him, and yet, your body responds all the same. 

His eyebrows twitch and for a moment, he looks almost concerned “Do you want to know-” 

“No! Just...” You sigh, adjusting your legs around his hips. “Be patient with me... please?” 

His eyes squint in a way that tells you he’s unconvinced, but his face quickly returns to its usual casual expression. It seems like whatever doubt is still in his mind will remain unsaid for now. It’s a bit unnerving to be left wondering what he’s thinking like this, but his eyes give no more indicators of what’s going on in that brain of his. Curse him and his beautiful poker face. 

A small, measured smile “Of course.” 

You push down the building unease you feel. Less thinking, more doing. 

You sit up and scootch down his thighs to get a better view of his crotch. His pants are loose but even so, you can still spy a suspicious shape beginning to emerge. In theory, you know the next step is to reveal what's underneath the cloth, but you're not quite sure what way to go about it. Just pulling down his pants seems so... anticlimactic. Shouldn’t this be... sexier? Your hands hover over his waistband, but chicken out last minute before pulling them down. 

No need to rush, you can take however long you want, you can stop whenever, Asra would never mind. You repeat the reminders in your head a few times to build up the nerve to try and touch him again. 

You end up running your hands up and down his sides, admiring him. His beautiful golden skin twitches beneath your hands, muscles contracting with every touch of your fingers upon his flesh. The dim candlelight in the room makes every ridge and dip of his abdomen more pronounced; the shadows acting like guides for your hands. Asra’s body feels so solid. He feels almost sturdy- which isn’t wrong considering how much you can rely on him. 

The motions of your hands are more calming than sexy, you suppose, but perhaps that’s what you need right now. Every time your hands go down, they inch closer and closer to his waistband again. Slowly, your hands start to explore the fabric below the band, and you find yourself brushing against the growing hardness between his legs. A small sound comes from Asra after a particularly firm touch that drags your attention away from your limbs, but a quick glance up at his face confirms that it’s one of pleasure. 

This time, when you go to grab his waistband, you find that there’s significantly less hesitation in your movements. He’s quick to lift his hips when you wiggle your fingers between his clothing and his skin and before you can give your brain time to start doubting itself again, you pull down his pants. 

Well, you had an idea of what you were going to see, but seeing Asra bare like this for what feels like the first time still leaves you surprised. His skin under his pants is just as ochre as the rest of his body, and his penis seems like it’s probably fuller of blood than it usually is. Despite all your earlier anxiety, you can feel your mouth salivate just the tiniest bit when you focus your eyes on the veins along the shaft and the shape of its emerging head.  

“Do you like it?” 

He sounds amused when he asks the question, and it catches you by surprise. Your gaze flits back and forth between his crotch and his face while you conjure up an answer to his question. 

“Oh, uh, yeah. I do- I- I like it.” 

Your totally smooth answer makes Asra smile. 

“You can touch it if you want.” Cheeky. He tilts his head at you with squinted, happy eyes. 

You worry he might be getting impatient, but all you see in his gaze is fondness. Looking back at his member, you reach one cautious hand to grab it, then another when it doesn’t bite. 

It feels a bit stiff, but not quite firm. You guess this is what is meant by the phrase “Half-mast?” There’s a weight and heat to his shaft that while you suppose makes sense, isn’t quite what you expected. It’s simultaneously more impressive and less imposing than you feared it would be You adjust your grasp on it, swapping it from hand to hand while you try and figure out just how you’re supposed to maneuver his dick. It’s hard not to feel awkward or embarrassed as you realize just how clueless you are. 

Under the glow of the candlelight and under his shaft, you spot a lump that you quickly realize probably contains his testicles. You only let yourself wonder briefly before acting on your impulses. Delicately, you remove one of your hands from his length and use it to cup his balls. The texture of the skin on them is different than the rest of his skin, a bit strange and wrinkly, and they seem to be even warmer than the rest of him. 

Experimentally, you give his length one solid stroke, and his body responds immediately. His abs immediately tense up, and his dick jumps in your grasp. You nearly jump back in surprise seeing how responsive he is, and it must show on your face. A small, amused huff comes from his mouth, but all Asra does when you meet his eyes is to- just as he always does- give you a smile. 

“Would you like some guidance?” 

He offers the suggestion with a kind look, but you can feel a tingle on your cheeks anyways. It isn’t enough to deter you from considering his offer, though. 

“... Maybe.” 

While he does laugh softly, there’s no condescension in it, and he grabs your hand in his own in a comforting way. 

“Can you grab the massage oil off the dresser? It’ll make things easier.” 

He gestures at a bottle across the room. You scootch off the bed and reach out an arm to grab the colorful glass. You’re familiar with this bottle from other contexts (namely massages as the name implies) but it’s nice to know of its other uses. Just as quickly as you rose, you return to the bed and kneel over the body of your lover. 

“Okay. Now what?” The obedience feels a bit childish... but so be it. 

Asra at least does not dwell on it “Pour some on your hands.” 

His response is so obvious, but you still require confirmation before you feel like you can move. You do exactly as he says and pour the oil into one of your palms, leaning over to place the oil on the bedside table and rubbing your hands together afterwards. It quickly warms up in your hands. You hover your hands awkwardly above his body and look towards his face until he silently nods in approval. With more confidence than earlier, you grab his cock once again and adjust your position on his thighs. 

Asra places one of his hands over one of your own. You wait for him to do something, but when he does nothing, you look up at his face and encounter his eyes looking for your own. 

“Ready?” 

As per usual, his face doesn’t betray his thoughts, but you can’t help but wonder what is going on in that head of his. 

“I’m ready” 

Weirdly enough, you’re able to respond with full confidence. Slowly, anxiety is giving way to anticipation... excitement. 

Perhaps this isn’t as scary as it seems after all. 

Asra nods and his eyes drop down to your hands. Quickly, you follow his lead, and he starts to move his wrist. 

The oil does its job well and lets your hands glide easily along his skin. His grasp tightens and so you do the same in turn. Your confidence grows with every pump you give his shaft; the guidance he gives you puts you at ease. When he lets go of your hand, it’s easy to keep up the rhythm on your own. 

“That’s it, just like that... Don’t be afraid to explore.” 

There’s a playful hint to his words, but there’s also an unfamiliar breathiness to it. You take a peek at his face and notice he seems a bit more flushed than usual, though it is quite hard to tell with his skin tone and the dim lighting. His expression is hardly any different, but the small changes just becomes more obvious the longer you look at him. 

The effect you have on him... There’s just the smallest twinge of pride that flutters in your chest after seeing his reaction. 

You decide to heed his earlier words and let one of your hands wander while you stroke his cock. Up and down you move one hand while the other wanders aimlessly, smearing the oil across his body. Laying your palm flat on his stomach, you can feel his rapid breathing and heartbeat. A quick glance up at his face and you can confirm your earlier suspicion that his face has in fact turned a different shade of brown. 

Giggling, your hand trails down back to his groin, dragging only your oiled fingertips along his skin. His abdomen twitches and he shifts his legs. Your hand ends up between his legs once more, palming at his balls once again before taking them gently in your grasp. Your other hand is also delighting in the way his body responds to its touch. It’s starting to become more and more obvious to you that the head of his cock seems to be the most sensitive part of it; Every time your curled fingers glide over it, his breath seems to hitch, and his hands seem to grab the sheets tighter. 

Despite how scary it seemed earlier, the idea of him possibly returning the favor is starting to sound quite enticing. You didn’t intentionally sit on the perfect spot for his squirming thighs to stimulate you, but you’re not about to move anytime soon. It’s surprisingly good. The sounds of Asra’s labored breath, the feeling of his warm cock in your hands, and your own hormones are starting to get to you.  

Clearly, it’s all getting to him too, seeing as one of his hands lets go of the sheets to instead cover his open mouth. Even with the barrier, the small sounds he’s started to make with every stroke reaches you. 

“Are you usually so sensitive?” 

“Not usually.” A small laugh escapes from behind his hand “You just- ah- make me more excited than other people.” 

Of course, sap that he is, he would answer with something like that.  

“Oh hush.” 

While he does seem to try to obey you after a little giggle, he’s not quiet for long. Even just breathing seems to be harder for him to do silently.  

“I’m getting close...” 

He sounds strained while he says it, like he’s barely holding himself together. 

“Is that... bad?” 

You only slow down for a few seconds, but it’s enough for his hips to rock up against you to try and follow the waning pressure. 

“No no. It’s good, but I’m just warning you in case you have anything else you want to do.” 

He’s still smiling, but that response carries an implication that unfortunately raises the hair on the back of your neck. He must be testing the waters... does he want to do more with you. Well, obviously yes, he does, but does he want to do it right now...? 

The idea sounds pleasant in your head. Sleeping with your beloved partner.... having full on sex with Asra... It sounds so so nice and yet, you feel a coldness in your chest at the idea of following through on these thoughts. You may want to but... 

... There’s always another time. Right now, you’re clamming up again. You’re not ready. 

“Is it okay if I uh... if I just want to do this?” 

Logically, you know the answer will be yes. He would never force you or pressure you to do something. After all, it’s been years now that he’s held off making any moves on you despite your history. You know this and yet, worry lurks in your brain anyways. What if just this time, you’re misreading him and he’ll be disappointed in you? Sure, it’s never happened before, but there’s a first time for everything. This could be the time- 

“Hey,” Asra calls to you and waits until you look at his face “Anything you want is always okay with me.” 

He shifts slightly to grab your hand off his abdomen and tangle your fingers together, the suddenness stopping you from spiraling just as you started to look down into the abyss. 

“We could stop here or go even further than this, it makes no difference to me. I just want you to have fun.” His thumb glides across the back of your hand “As long as you get what you want, I’ll be happy. You can worry about what I want some other time, but I don’t see how I couldn’t be with you here.” 

Everything about Asra is always so warm. From his skin to his eyes to his demeanor- of course he would find a way to spread his warmth to your heart. Right now, the way he looks at you is like gravity, holding you captive with its intensity.... God, how badly you want him. 

His serious expression vanishes as quickly as it had arrived when you give him a little squeeze and tug. 

“I want to see you finish first.” 

Ever the sweet person he is, his eyes are practically closed with how wide he smiles. 

“I’ll happily oblige~.” 

A smile returns to your face as well, and you shyly lower your head just to be met with the sight of him still throbbing in your grasp. Ah right, a hand job, that’s what you were in the middle of giving him. Time to get back to bringing your favorite magician the pleasure he deserves. 

He must have been barely holding onto himself while he spoke to you if the state of his sex is anything to go by. Even just the slightest shift in how you hold him has his stomach tensing up with restraint. You place both hands around him this time, one squeezing where the head meets his shaft and the other pumping the shaft itself. The sounds produced by this are slick and lewd. Skin shifting on skin while you move, the light smacks of your hand hitting his base and then meeting your other hand, the breathy moans muffled by hands- it's downright lewd to hear. Between the audio stimulation of it all and the visual stimulation of your usually composed beloved, you wonder how in the world did you put this off for so long.  

It doesn’t take long for it to all overwhelm Asra. With a stifled “Ah-!” of pleasure, it finally happens. His dick twitches repeatedly in your hand and suddenly, white liquid spurts out of the head rapidly before beginning to slowly ooze out and coat your hands in his spend. Momentarily, you freeze up, uncertain of what to do, but then Asra hips fuck upwards into your grasp, and it becomes obvious what you should do. You smear his cum all over his length. Up and down your hands move until there's a milky froth at his base and his practically whimpering. You move and squeeze and pump until he can’t take it anymore and the same hand that previously guided you has to grab your wrist once again to stop you. 

Asra doesn’t pull your hand away just yet, but he does keep it still until you feel him start to soften. His white eyelashes finally flutter open, and he looks to meet your gaze. When he does, he smiles a toothy, wide grin, and you do the same in response. 

The blissful silence between you two is broken when he nearly barks out a laugh and grabs you by your shirt 

“Get over here-”  

He presses his lips to yours, ignoring the way your soiled hand presses down on his chest to hold you up. He wraps his arms behind your neck to hold you close as he kisses you. Once, twice, and a third time just for good measure. 

He pulls away and looks at you with an intensity that’s nearly overwhelming. A gaze full of admiration and joy- A complete contrast from earlier. 

“I love you.” 

Of course he does, how could you ever doubt it? You pull him close and smile against his skin. 

“I love you too.”