idk ~ my internet diary

it seems like anyone i hear who has ended their own life had people around them have seen no "signs" of something like this happening to that person. as a person who has been suicidal for most of my life and who believes that not all suicides are preventable, how are people this far removed from other people's reality? i know many people are good at hiding their feelings but seriously not a single person in your life sensing that you feel that helpless enough to kill yourself? what a world we live in.

it's actually insane how in most relationships i bring up something that makes me feel a type of way is met with a non response or just completely shutting me out 😂 bitch I can't wait to be dead

is every aspect of life supposed to be stressful or am i just supposed to be dead and prolonging my life and suffering for no reason