When The Past Comes Back
(Wander Back To You Series Pt.1)
jack abbot x !ex!nurse!singlemom!reader
summary: when your daughter has a medical emergency, you end up back in the Pitt. you find yourself confronting your painful past and ex, Jack Abbot, in the process.
content: single mom, mentions of abandonment and breakups, child who ends up in the ER due to an allergic reaction, unresolved feelings, cliff hanger (i’m sorry), probably medical inaccuracies, please let me know if there is anything else!
wc: 2.3k
a/n: all work is my own! this is my first fan fiction post on tumblr, so any feedback is appreciated! please let me know what you think and my requests are open! dividers made by @robinavitchslut
Thinking about walking back into PTMC was not easy, but for your daughter, you would do anything. Even if it meant hurting yourself in the process.
You were at home gathering your daughter's toys off the living room floor when you received a call from her preschool telling you that your 3-year-old daughter was being taken to the hospital. Apparently, she had eaten some of her friend's peanut butter and jelly sandwich. For anyone else, it wouldn’t have been that big of a deal. But Margot, your daughter, has a severe peanut allergy. The preschool informed you that an ambulance was already on its way and said it would be fastest if you met them at the hospital.
“Ok, what hospital are they taking her to?” You asked. Already grabbing your purse and jacket and making a beeline towards the front door.
“Pittsburgh Trauma Medical Center,” The woman said.
Your heart dropped, and it felt like time slowed around you. You stopped for a brief second as you approached your front door, but pushed yourself despite the fact that you wanted to stay right where you were. You told the sweet woman, whom you’d met a dozen times picking up and dropping your daughter off from school, thank you. Your body was met with the cold air as you opened your front door. You raced down your porch steps, boots crunching on the dead, dry fall leaves. You unlocked your driver’s side door and practically jumped in, wasting no time starting the car and driving off.
Your mind was racing as you drove to the place you used to call home. It was less than a ten-minute car ride, but it felt like an eternity. The last time you were in the Pitt, you left with unresolved feelings and a mess that you had no desire to go back and clean up. You hadn’t been in contact with any of your coworkers since that one winter day all those years ago. You hadn’t even talked to Dana, who was practically a mother to you. As you drove your car, you prayed that your ex, Jack Abbot, was still working the night shift.
Your and Jack’s relationship was quite frankly something you couldn’t describe with words. You had met each other in passing while he was working as the night shift attending, and you, as one of the new day shift nurses. At first, you would exchange glances and make small talk with one another. As time went on, your conversations bloomed into learning more about each other. You had learned how Jack liked his coffee. Black. He told you how long he had been working in the ER and shared very small details about his life before the Pitt. You told him where you attended school and where you were from. No matter what he told you, you listened, and he did the same for you. Even without telling him, he knew things about you that no one else paid attention to.
He learned what your favorite candy was after seeing it next to your water bottle at the nurses’ station. He knew your favorite color from the socks you wore and the jacket you brought to work with you. He knew your favorite genre of music based on the songs you would hum and sing under your breath while charting. You had never met a person who seemed to be so interested in someone they had just met.
After a few months of working together, you would go out and get drinks with the rest of the Pitt crew. But you two always seemed to find each other in a crowded room. You both could talk to one another for hours and somehow never run out of things to talk about.
Frequently, you would find Jack on the roof after his shift. Other than Robby, you were the only other person who could get him back on the other side of the railing.
When you made things official with each other, nothing really changed. Except for the fact that you would find yourself twisted in his bedsheets the morning after a night out. Or him pulling you into a supply closet, just to get a moment alone with you. That’s when you realized all the little pieces of information he stored away as he got to know you.
Jack would always make sure to keep a few bags of your favorite candy and snacks in the staff lounge, just in case you ran out. He pointed out that when something you wanted was in your favorite color and always told you, “I’ll pay for it.” He knew more about you than some of the people who knew you your whole life. You couldn’t fathom how you got to be the luckiest girl in the world.
Your relationship with Jack was steady, and he couldn’t have been better towards you. He was considerate, loving, and all around a good person. The problem was you. You never felt deserving of the love he gave you. You knew you loved him, but you kept hearing this voice in your head saying you were unworthy of what he was giving you. You grew up surrounded by chaos, and your brain was engraved with the thought that love should be messy. It shouldn’t be this easy.
You weren’t proud of how you left things with Jack. There was yelling, crying, and things said that couldn’t be taken back, mostly from you. You had been lucky all this time that there was no “real” emergency that had you landing in the Pitt. Hell, you were surprised you had gone this long without accidentally running into any of them. All of you and your family’s medical needs were being treated at the other surrounding hospitals, and you even made sure your daughter was born anywhere but PTMC.
You felt sick to your stomach as you pulled up to the ER. Were you ready to face all the people you used to call family? You didn’t have time to ponder your thoughts. You parked your car as close as you could to the emergency room and ran to the automatic doors. You pushed your way through the crowd of people waiting to be seen. You were hit by the smell of the ER waiting room and people begging to be taken back to be seen. When you worked here as a nurse, you tried your best not to let the people who had been waiting for hours get to you emotionally. You knew there were only so many hands and things you could do, but it still hurt to see people who waited for 12 hours in a crowded room with the electric buzz of bright lights. You said your apologies as you squeezed past an older gentleman and approached the front desk.
“Lupe,” you said as your voice quavered and you shot a look to the double doors leading to the main part of the ER.
Lupe looked up at you and opened her mouth to say something, but decided against it. She gave you a soft and sincere smile before opening the doors to your right.
You heard the buzz and made your way around the corner. Your heart felt like it was still at your front door, but your feet made their way through the madness of the ER. Your body was hit with the smell of antiseptic and the noise of the never-ending cry that occurs in the emergency room. It had been a long time since you had been in the midst of your old work environment. You forgot how loud it was with the sounds of beeping machines and shouting orders from the nurses.
You halted in front of the nurses’ station, looking up at the board, trying to place which room Margot was placed in. You could have asked for help, but it felt easier figuring it out on your own. Your eyes scanned the lit-up board with its fluorescent blocks of color highlighted with people’s names. Just as you came across your little girl's name, a woman's voice said your name.
Your eyes dropped down from the board to an older woman in gray scrubs with her blonde hair pulled up in a claw clip. Dana. You locked eyes with hers, seeing hers rim with tears.
“What are you doin’ here?” She said softly as she reached to put her hand on your arm.
You kept your eyes on her, not knowing what to say. How do you explain to someone you once thought was going to be at your wedding that you have a child with a complete stranger, who abandoned you and your little girl?
“Is there a little girl in here named Margot? ” Was all you could say, as you bit your lip to stop your chin from wobbling.
Dana drifted her gaze from your eyes and then to your hands fidgeting with your jacket button.
“Yeah, she’s in trauma two. C’mon.” She said as she put her hand on the lower part of your back, guiding you towards your daughter.
Even without telling Dana, she knew the little girl was yours. Dana knew everything, especially around here.
As soon as you approached the clear doors of the trauma room, your eyes fell on your little girl. You saw her ringlets of brown hair in the pigtails you had done earlier this morning. Her bright yellow t-shirt and the matching pants that went along with it. The light-up princess sneakers that she insisted on wearing every day, no matter where she was going. You saw her red cheeks and puffy eyes. The rash that seemed to be everywhere on her body was only getting worse.
Without thinking twice, you pushed the trauma doors open, just like you used to when you were assigned to a case. You rushed to Margot's side, practically shoving everyone else out of the way who wasn’t doing anything critical.
“Bug, I'm here. You’re gonna be ok.” You said with a soft but worried smile on your face.
Your daughter’s eyes fluttered open, finding yours. Her lip started to quiver.
“My throat hurts.” She tried to say as tears started to stream from her eyes.
You could feel her tiny heart racing as you lay your hand on her chest.
“I know, but I’m here. And the doctors are going to help you feel so much better.” You said fighting back tears yourself.
“How much Epi has she been given?” You asked, not taking your eyes off your daughter, your hand interlaced with hers.
The med students looked at each other and then back at you. “I am-well, I used to be a nurse here.” They nodded their heads as the female attending, whom you had never met, responded, “Only pushed one so far, she seemed to calm down with the one dose. We’ll see how she does in the next five minutes.”
Just as your question was answered, the trauma doors opened. You looked up, and your eyes met Robby’s. You could see the swirl of emotions he was feeling as he scanned your face. You saw his eyes drop down to the little girl on the hospital bed with an oxygen mask on her face. He didn’t know you fell in love after Jack or got your heart broken at 20 weeks pregnant. Let alone have a child. He quickly looked back at you, and his feet started to move.
“Dr. Al-Hashimi, we got this.” He said as he pushed past her and snapped a pair of gloves on his hands. The woman, whose name you had just learned, looked at Robby and then you, before turning around and exiting the room.
Everyone else in the room kept moving and informed Robby of everything they had already done. He looked at you again, seeing you look down at the little girl with tears in your eyes.
“Vitals are dropping.” A nurse beside you said, causing you and Robby to snap your heads up to the monitor.
“Push another of Epi,” You heard Robby say.
Margot’s eyes were shut, her tiny body fighting so hard as the grip of her hand lessened on yours. You looked down and ran your fingers across her tiny knuckles. Looking at the chipped bubblegum nail polish that she begged you to buy for her. Your mind raced through all the moments you’ve had with her. From when you first found out you were pregnant, to finding out she was a girl and watching her grow up into this tiny, beautiful human being.
“Ma’am, I’m going to have to have you step outside.” One of the med students said coming to your side. Your head snapped to look at him, fighting the urge to slap him in the face. You knew as a nurse that family could get in the way of proper treatment for a patient, but you didn’t care. This was your blood, and you weren’t leaving her side. Before Robby or anyone else could respond, you heard a voice, and the door to the trauma room opened.
“She can stay, Ogilvie, she’s family.”
You knew that voice. You had taken comfort in that voice so many years ago. You heard that voice say “I love you” in the morning, at work, in passing, and before you would fall asleep at night. The gruff voice that would whisper in your ear how much he loved you and how well you were doing in your most intimate moments. The same voice that broke when you told him that things were over.
Your eyes shot up to meet him, and for the first time in years, you were in the same room as Jack Abbot.
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