selections from 'truisms,' 1986 in jenny holzer - diane waldman (1989)
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selections from 'truisms,' 1986 in jenny holzer - diane waldman (1989)

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i meet the man i feel like i should be with for the rest of my life and something gets in the way
everyone around me is getting engaged or married and i'm just so fucking damaged and traumatized from my dad and rohun and ben and whoever the fuck else
and then i met anthony who is nice to me and just like exactly what i want and the universe has to intervene and just complicate it
tommy is fucking britt and i think she hates me because she knows. and also i hate him for creating some kind of psychosexual drama between all 4 of us
ben is still writing all these fucking songs about me and it makes me sick i am tired of existing to him when he literally abused me and he knows it
i will never get over the way he made me feel about my body and how i look and i can't absorb it when anthony calls me gorgeous or hot or beautiful because i just cannot feel it anymore
i can't even be emotionally close to anyone
i don't know why i even had sex with rohun when i didn't want to and i don't even know who i was when all of that was happening
work is so fucking hard and it feels weird to be 27 and hitting some kind of peak in my career it is so fucking lonely and i'm so tired
my mom and my sister think i had it easy when i think maybe i had it the hardest and i will never tell them because it's easier for them to preserve themselves when that's the case
maybe jeremy is who i am supposed to be with but i don't want to believe that, i don't want to feel it either
i have made such an absolute fucking mess of my emotions and i can't parse any of it out
i can't even cry the way i want to because i'm so sad i've just gone totally numb on the inside
i can't even process my emotions like a fucking adult i just have to post on tumblr like i'm 17 years old again and it's all in a fucking circle
Bao Tran Trung (Vietnamese, based Saigon, Vietnam) - 1: Dreamer at Day 2: Insomniac at Night, 2021, Photography
it hurts so badly that i can’t even unpack it
And the bitch you’re competing with is just some white girl

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I want to be him and be with him
i just feel inadequate and inferior
trying not to succumb to loneliness is hard and i wonder why i feel like doing that is a moral failing. why do i feel like letting my physical body influence my decisions is weak
how do i balance all of my feelings
i miss him but i want someone else
or do i want someone else because i miss him
Nelly Agassi: Bedroom (2005)

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Erika L. Sánchez, from Lessons on Expulsion: Poems; “Amá”
[Text ID: “In One Hundred Years of Solitude, / Márquez wrote that we are birthed / by our mothers only once, but life obligates / us to give birth / to ourselves over and over.”]
Come the Slumberless To the Land of Nod, Traci Brimhall
where's that quote abt like. being embarrassed abt the thinness of ur life the way ur embarrassed by a threadbare piece of clothing. bc like yeah
Olivia Laing
i can’t understand how i feel
i feel like i was replaced with a version of me that i don’t know and now it just feels like i don’t exist

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— Susan Sontag, from “Reborn: Journals and Notebooks, 1947-1963”