(  *  &.  SHIT MY COWORKERS HAVE SAID / SENTENCE STARTERS .
â Â and iâm done. adios, bitches! Â â
â Â be nice or iâll push you off the ladder. Â â
â Â butterflies are not your friend. Â â
â Â did you also know that bad people do bad things sometimes? Â â
â Â did you know that sometimes vin diesel can come into your work and shoot up the place with a machine gun? Â â
â Â did you seriously just leave to go look at a bug outside? Â â
â Â dinosaurs and penguins are the same thing, right? Â â
â Â donât come in the bathroom, iâm currently dying. Â â
â Â emo sing-along time! Â â
â Â i didnât find my courage, but i found john winchester faster than sam and dean did so thatâs an accomplishment. Â â
â Â i didnât push you, you willingly went in! Â â
â Â i donât like it when someone comes in the bathroom when iâm pooping and poop bombs me. Â â
â Â i fucking suck at math. you should know this by now. Â â
â Â i had a dream i was gay and it was great so i bought this rainbow lighter this morning. Â â
â Â i left my brain at home today. Â â
â Â i threw away your banana and iâm stealing your donut. Â â
â Â if i die eating this vending machine breakfast burrito just know that i think youâre awesome and i will miss you. Â â
â Â in here, your imaginationâs your best friend. Â â
â Â is this how the world ends? rainfall? ouch. Â â
â Â itâs that good 2006 emo shit. Â â
â Â iâm always heavily, heavily medicated. Â â
â Â iâm currently having the time of my damn life if you must know. Â â
â Â iâm cute as fuck, but iâm dumber than rocks. Â â
â Â iâm not a fucking baby so stop saying i am! Â â
â Â iâm pissed off because she got pissed at me for no reason. Â â
â Â iâm running behind. my plant got decapitated when i was cooking breakfast. Â â
â Â iâm scared of heights and i want to die. Â â
â Â iâm watching tv, everybody shut up! Â â
â Â iâve almost died about twenty times total today. Â â
â Â iâve almost had 39 heart attacks today alone. Â â
â Â letâs get emo up in this bitch. Â â
â Â mad at me? i didnât fucking do anything. Â â
â  now iâve had the time of my life and i owe it all to⌠this dumb ass job thatâs gotta get done.  â
â Â oh great, iâll die knowing that the worst worker here loves me. Â â
â  oh yay⌠thereâs a video⌠ â
â Â okay, so you need to be in a bubble today. Â â
â Â she has an octopus tattoo on her asshole and i think thatâs beautiful. Â â
â Â she saved my life. i thought there was a spider on my back and she was gonna move it, but it was actually just my hair. sheâs a life saver. Â â
â Â she thinks i should be scared of her? iâm not scared of anybody. itâs me they should be scared of. Â â
â Â shove a cigarette in there for the wasps to smoke while they die. Â â
â Â shut the fuck up, youâre always cold. Â â
â Â shut up, iâm making dinosaurs! Â â
â Â someoneâs gotta be thrown under the bus and itâs not gonna be me. Â â
â Â someoneâs having a hissy fit! Â â
â Â stop stealing my fucking chair! Â â
â Â stop trying to hold my hand, i need to poop! Â â
â Â there are no rules in this place. Â â
â thereâs no smiling allowed here. â
â Â this is actually the day from hell. Â â
â Â this is lawless land. Â â
â Â those noises were coming from you?! Â â
â Â until you get past the first three months, youâre just another cute face to me. Â â
â Â we broke her. Â â
â Â we donât associate with people named linda. itâs just a rule. Â â
â Â we donât even know how to function now. Â â
â Â welcome to the island of misfits. Â â
â Â well, i woke up wanting to cry and now iâm here. howâs your day? Â â
â Â what do you need? youâre interrupting my serial killer podcast! Â â
â Â what, youâre not having fun? Â â
â Â what. the. actual. fuck. Â â
â Â when you leave, your catâs just sluttinâ it up with other people. she probably has a tinder and everything. Â â
â Â you didnât hire me to be good at math. Â â
â Â you guys, this is a great day. Â â
â Â you pushed me into a box and tried to kill me! Â â
â Â youâre gay too? youâre gonna fit in great here. Â â
â Â youâre gonna die and iâll laugh when it happens. Â â
â Â youâre gonna wear jeans? look at you getting fancy! Â â