My Saga

His assigned partner is a trans woman named Esther Gentablets. He doesn’t understand but once the concept of transness is explained to him he says “you’re telling me they’re making more birds every day 🤩 YEAH babey!!!.” Dr. Evil calls him Austin Pronouns and that he’s “too woke” and Austin says that what he thought he knew about being a man was a social construct, that the roles designed for men and women are too narrow, that really, we’re all groovy

Dr. Evil’s plan is designing an evil worm to be transplanted into the brain of the US Secretary of Health. They tell him this already happened and he suggests they replace the internet with a lying machine. Already happened. “Well throw me a freakin bone here, what’s the most evil thing we can think of? What do I pay you people for? I know! We remove endangered species protections for baby wolves 🤙🤨” and his crew is 😬

The opening is Austin dancing through a pride parade. He disappears into a crowd for a moment and emerges in a leather harness and cat ears and keeps dancing

He has to stay hidden in one scene by entering a drag king Austin Powers lookalike contest. He loses

The medieval peasant I went back in time to give a bag of Doritos to, concerned: what terrible and powerful sorcerers they must have in your age, to be able to veil the vault of heaven itself from view, as you say

Me, sniffling: I didn’t realize, I can’t, it’s so much, I, I… are the chips good, at least?