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Misplaced Lens Cap
trying on a metaphor

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Dead Sea, Palestine under the Moon
Once when I was in undergrad, someone described something as “problematic” in class and our professor was like, “That’s cool, but ‘problematic’ doesn’t really mean anything. It means that the thing you’re describing has a problem, and in and of itself that’s not bad. Art, especially, should always have problems, or else it’s not interesting and not art, either. It sounds like you’re trying to say that this is bad, but you don’t want to say ‘bad.’ Is that right?”
So from then on whenever one of us called something problematic, he would make us talk it out until we could name the “bad” thing we were hinting at. In this particular class, 7/10 it was some type of oppression, and the remainder was like, “I’m uncomfortable because this is very new/confusing/pushing boundaries that made me feel safe.”
Once we stopped calling things “problematic” and stopping at that, class got way more interesting and... we all had to say, like, “that’s racist” or “that’s misogynistic” or “ew capitalism gross” out loud, which a lot of us had never done in a classroom before. Or we had to be like, “Uhhh... I’m not sure what’s so bad?” and confront our own beliefs and that was maybe even more useful.
Anyway. Whenever I see the word problematic, I can’t help but think of this professor being like, “Good starting point, now let’s get specific.” I think when we have to commit to saying “that’s ___” it requires a lot more careful thought about the truth and impact and complexities of whatever we’re claiming. Sometimes there really is some bullshit afoot, and also sometimes it’s art, and it should be full of problems, because that’s what art is.
I just love it when things are earnest like everyone get more earnest now
remember that pride is still a protest

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Yeah I'm thinking that its dope asf that the river turns rocks smooth
touch water (touch grass for people who like swimming)
jeff in marketing gets a divorce, acrylic on paper 2025
★ Eyeshines of Cats - Light entering the cat's eyes is magnified & reflected by a layer of tissue called the Tapetum Lucidum. This helps cats to see better in the dark. It also looks cool as f*ck ★

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you think that you're so alone in the world then you read literature from hundreds of years ago and you realize that other people have always felt this way
breakfast at the window
being a jack of all trades is dope as fuck honestly. it's like I'm doing crop rotation inside my own brain
"You need to relax"
Best I can do is dissociate
I’m reading a book on biofeedback trainings right now and they talk about this. The words “try” or “need” add pressure to stuff. Sometimes switching from “I need to calm down” or “I’m trying to slow my breathing” to “I’m allowing myself to calm down a little more with each exhale” or “I’m giving myself permission to slow my breathing” can be more helpful. There’s a difference between “try to relax the muscle” and “allow the muscle to soften” that is significant enough that for some people it can totally change the outcome of a relaxation exercise.
For other tips and tricks, instead of asking “why” you can’t change a thought/feeling (why being an offensive question, meaning it forces you to respond defensively - in this case defending the emotion you don’t like) you can ask “is there any leeway or wiggle room with this feeling/thought/belief for something else?” Oftentimes we know multiple things at once, and by allowing for a small amount of ambiguity we can start to accept the situation more fully.
when you see your little kitty walking toward you at a leisurely pace and say "hi baby!" bc you're excited to see her and she starts trotting a little bit faster 'cause she's excited to see you too. that's what life is all about i think

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centipuppy plate