Wither & Bloom

Fandom: Mystic Messenger Focus: Saeran Choi Version: Finished Zine Piece!  Originally Posted: 17th January 2018

I forgot to post this, but here’s my final piece for @saeranzine / Wither and Bloom. The original poem (which is much longer) has also been posted! Please check it out here. I had a lot of fun working with everyone!

Today I’m sharing my full piece for @saeranzine!

I have so much to say about this project, but I guess I can sum it up with “thank you”. Thank you to my fellow mod friends, to everyone who applied, to who contributed, to who purchased and to all who supported us. I’m just so overwhelmed by all the love we received and I’m so happy and proud to have been part of the zine!

My zine piece for @saeranzine

It’s really fun! I met many awesome and really cool people, and get to collab with @mc-amps  for her lovely poem (Go check her out!)

Sorry for my inactive for so long, I just really busy with my graduation animation, hope I can get to draw something when I’m free!

my full piece for the @saeranzine!!

ive no words to describe how grateful i am for this project and for the lovely people ive become friends w thanks to it.. :’)

Here’s a small something to make up for the lack of posting. We’re so sorry! 

Poetry Collab for Saeran Zine

At the start of spring, sprouts two plants from a single seed. One shrivels while the other stands tall and flees, abandoning the weaker.                But he’ll be back.                He promised. The harsh, cracked soil provides no nourishment, and instead weeds                                USELESS! WEAK!! AIRHEAD!!! Deep rooted bondage chokes his life away. Until the Savior breaks the soil. and plucks him up.                                Stormy showers bring                                cleansing, dear flower, she said, before the downpour                Pitter patter                drip drop.                                He’s not coming back.                                He’s not. He’s not. He’s NOT.

Summer heat evaporates the storm as the plant puts on magenta petals. He thrives in Paradise’s garden colorful and bright. The sweet aroma soon lures a Princess. If only she could stay forever.                Don’t go.                Don’t abandon me…                …I miss you. A new seed sprouts within fighting to get out.                It hurts.

The air chills as thorns rip through. Chlorophyll and blood seep as his leaves wither. Autumn has transformed his pain into rage. A desperate thirst to slice up the Traitor and embrace the Princess with his brambles, choking her with his love.                If only he could… Dead leaves cascade around him as his world crumbles and dulls into further decay.                Isn’t it splendidly hysterical? Endlessly cackling until tears drip, he watches as the Traitor sews more lies.

Snowflakes soon fall from his frozen cheeks. as winter kills all. An ice king rises above the rest. Better than all. Stronger than weak Spring.                Stronger than stupid Summer.                                Stronger than broken Autumn.                                                The strongest of all! Unlike the others, he doesn’t need the Princess. She’s the worst of all.                USELESS! WEAK!! AIRHEAD!!! Trapped in his snow globe, that toy will freeze.                So that she can never leave him.                                But…She doesn’t want to leave? Her hideous eyes. That revolting scent. It makes him vomit teal fertilizer. Everything melts into slush as the glass shatters.

Soon everything thaws and brightens as Spring returns. Whether it’s chilly and slow to bloom, with naked trees and guilty storms or warm and thriving, with a cloudless sky the future promises nothing but happiness.

This was my main piece for @saeranzine I was really excited to be able to write something that involved each of the Saeran personas. They all fit perfectly into a season, which ties in wonderfully with the Ray Route ending song~

@servantofpsychotic was kind enough to draw the illustrations and did a lovely job. I was honestly thrilled that she was able to do a picture for each part of the poem sjfklsdjfkls thank you so much T///T Check out her account for more adorable art :3

At last, this is my full contribution for @saeranzine I had the honor in taking part in this year. The project had equal parts challenges and achievements, and the fun shared with every other writer, artist and mod during this time is an experience I’ll never forget as my first zine being part of. Thank you everyone who supported us!

Please enjoy the piece :) Happy holidays, everyone!

☆☆☆☆☆

You’d gotten the good ending, the normal one, too. All that was left was to break his heart five times for that one-hundred percent completion of his love story. It was a bittersweet feeling upon realizing that your journey was on the home-stretch. The more you thought about it, however, you couldn’t bring yourself to break his heart like that after all the brokenness he’d been subjected to before. Especially since you knew what the bad endings for the RFA members were – Ray’s could only be tenfold more devastating. You wouldn’t do it. You couldn’t do it.

The familiar ping of the messenger popped your bubble of thought and enticed you to pick up your phone as it sat on the marble-finish coffee table. It was the 10:23am chatroom of Day Six. You knew what it meant for you if you opened it – the kinds of answers you would have to choose to get a new outcome. You refused to play along, tapping onto Ray’s contact to give him a call instead.

One ring… Two rings… Three rings… No answer.

You rose from the table and carried yourself to the lancet windows. The morning was young and the garden flickered with quartz-like raindrops under the dawning of the day’s first light. You knew he wouldn’t pick up at this time on the sixth day, but your thumb wouldn’t desist in tapping his name again and again as though you were in a stupor.

A shrill of static noise ripped through the air, causing you to block your ears and drop your phone. As you frantically inspected the device for cracks, you noticed the screen displaying that you were in a phone call. You held the phone to your ear and timidly spoke.

“Ray…?”

“MC! Did something happen? I got worried something happened to you.”

“Oh, uh… no, I’m okay. Were you, um, working?”

“Saviour said I can’t speak with you until I finish improvements. I’m sorry I didn’t pick up the first time… Are you mad?”

“N-No, of course not! I just… I was wondering if you wanted to maybe… go out?”

“Go out? As in… leave?”

“Yeah! I mean, not like that, but with you!”

“I… I can’t, MC. Saviour would be upset if I did. There’s so much to be done.”

“We’ll come back by the end of the day – just for a few hours. It’ll be good for you, too!”

He exhaled, the sound of his breath dragging past his lips. “MC, you don’t have to do this for me. I don’t deserve it. I’m weak, and an airhead–”

“You’re not to me. I want to spend time with you.”

“But what if something bad happens to you because of me? I… I wouldn’t be able to live with myself.”

“Ray, I swear nothing will happen to you, or me. I just want to… see you smile.”

He sighed a second time. “Meet me in the garden. Hide next to the geraniums where security won’t see you. I’ll be there in a few minutes… Please, don’t go anywhere.”

Once the call ended, you sat on the bed with a hand on your chest, your heart pounding with adrenaline every passing second. He’d answered the call when you could’ve sworn he wasn’t meant to, and that wasn’t an ordinary conversation. It was too ordinary to be ‘normal’ by the route’s standards.

You snuck out from your suite to meet him, going with the flow of the unexpected turn.

…

You gazed silently outside the moving car’s window as distance grew between you and Mint Eye. Maple leaves dusted the asphalt with their fiery hues of red and orange, adding colour to the seemingly grey road. Nothing could beat the beauty of mother nature and her sky-scraping pine trees high up in the mountains.

“We’re almost there…” Ray spoke quietly as he gripped the steering wheel.

“Thank you for lending me a Believer’s uniform.”

“I didn’t want you to get cold.. A-and I had to make sure we wouldn’t be seen leaving. I want to make sure you’re safe.”

“I know… I think it’s really brave of you to come out with me like this.”

It wasn’t long before the familiar bustling of people came into view around the last corner.  Ray parked the car a good distance away to avoid being spotted by the security cameras. It seemed much more vast than you’d last remembered. For a place that you could only enjoy in the prologue for a scarce moment, you wished you were granted more time for exploration.

Together, you walked along the brick road of the metropolis, the splashes of colours from cafes and clothing boutiques catching your eye wherever you looked. Finally free from your beautified prison after a number of repeated weeks, you couldn’t help but feel giddy.

Before long, you found yourself standing in front of the same cafe you were first picked up from. You felt your stomach grumble.

“I heard they have really good ice-cream here… Should we get some?”

“I-If you’d like,” Ray smiled.

Many people had queued in line to enjoy the mouth-watering delight on the cloudless morning. How long had it been since he’d taken gladness from this secret pleasure of his? It must’ve been an awful number of months.

“My treat,” you insisted as you pulled out a coin purse from the cloak’s pocket.

“Oh no, MC, I really don’t think–”

“You deserve it, Ray. I won’t let you think otherwise.” Without another word, you approached the counter, Ray following you closely behind.

With icy scoops of the sweet dessert in hand, you both ambled down the promenade and admired the sights of the gaily store fronts. Distant echoes of buskers danced to your ears and you found yourself swaying with the melodies in your steps. A few times you looked over to Ray, who looked like a kid in a candy store with his obvious intrigue.

Scattered flower-beds along the stone pavement caught his attention with their vibrant petals and he felt tantalized enough to brush his finger along the the petals of a white daisy. Mint Eye’s garden succeeded in elegance ten-fold when compared to this place, and yet they seemed much prettier here.

His eyes sparkled with wonder and curiosity the further you strolled, but he only really glowed when beyond all of the outlets was a wide open field, devoid of any other soul. It was just you and him – the perfect scenario.

Florae of many kinds scattered across the green blades of grass like splashes of paint on a canvas. Entranced by their beauty, you took him by the hand and led him through the field, finding a perfect patch to sit in and bathe in sunlight surrounded by colours of grace. You felt content, the back-burner-nagging of your conscience telling you “you can’t do this” finally silenced. It didn’t matter what was to become of this – what truly mattered to you was that you were able to do this for Ray outside of the game’s limitations.

After all, you’d probably never get to do this again.

“Hey…” you mumbled, “have you ever made a flower crown?”

“A crown? From flowers? I don’t think I have.”

You sprang at the opportunity as you swiftly picked as many flowers around you as you could. “I’ll show you! They’re really easy, just watch what I do.”

He observed from over your shoulder as you intertwined the delicate stems of each flower into one another. There was a moment of peaceful silence as you both created your flower circlets, until he broke the quiet.

“MC… why did you want to do this for me?”

“Do what?”

“Take me out. Eating ice-cream with me, making crowns from flowers, just doing nice things for me. I haven’t done anything that deserves your praise.”

“Not everything has to be a prize, Ray. Most things should be done for someone out of love, not as a reward for good behaviour.” You saw his weaving slow, knowing your words were reaching him. “You know what I’m talking about… right?”

“If it wasn’t for Saviour, I wouldn’t be who I am today.”

You paused. “I’m sorry if I shouldn’t be saying this, but… is who you are right now really who you want to be?”

He turned his head and gazed deeply into your eyes. The wind swayed your hair across your face, making you appear even more so as an angel sent for him with your words of wisdom and love. His face showed an expression that couldn’t be put so easily into words. You reciprocated as you felt the same way, but made yourself busy again.

“Here, this is for you,” you smiled as you gently placed your finished work onto his head. It was a treasure shaped from orchids and gypsophila, together meaning ‘beauty, strength and undying love’.

Tenderly, he placed his own crown of ‘lily of the valley’ on your head, tucking a stray piece of hair behind your ear. “I shouldn’t be in love with you,” he muttered closely to your ear.

Every hair on your limbs were raised with anticipation as you felt his breath on your neck. He was so close, right there in front of you, alas he felt so far away no matter what you could say. The sweet, earthy perfume of the flowers surrounding you both filled your nostrils, bringing a new calmness to ease both your nerves.

His face hadn’t retreated from yours yet, and your heart was beating harder the more he lingered. Was this true affection? Or had the game somehow reprogrammed his character to act this way to compensate for the new turn of events? You eyed the shrinking space between your lips.

“Is this real?” the whispered words escaped your mouth.

At last, the gap was closed with a gentle kiss. His lips were chapped, but you didn’t mind. His cold hand found the side of your neck, soon cupping your cheek as you both grew passionate. All the uncertainty melted away with intimacy – this was the realest thing you’d experienced with him, with any of them, and you didn’t want the moment to end.

…

Tip-toeing through the lantern-lit hallways, Ray led the way as he guided you back to your room while attempting to remain unseen. Once the door to your room was finally reached, he hurried you inside when he could hear footsteps approaching from a distance.

“You should go before someone sees you,” you urged him.

“I will… I’ll see you again soon, my Princess.” He smiled before swiftly planting one last kiss on your forehead, then closing the door.

You sighed in bliss, letting yourself twirl a few times before flopping onto your soft mattress. You knew that nothing could top what you had managed to do for Ray today, and the reward of euphoria from both parties was more than enough to satiate your desire to be with him. Having lost track of the time of day, you checked your phone for the first time in a number of hours.

Nothing could’ve made you sick to the stomach faster than what your screen displayed — a seemingly endless list of notifications full of missed texts, calls and chatrooms from the RFA. You quickly opened the app and saw the day had already reached the route’s first bridge. You didn’t need a mirror to know that your face had drained its colour. You covered your mouth.

“Crap… the participation target…”

You tried to be hopeful that the previous day’s progress would be enough to get you over, but you doubted it. You wished you could’ve said goodbye to Ray properly if you’d known this was going to happen. The guilt you’d worked to avoid came rushing back. Your throat closed up and your hands became clammy with anxiety. There was nothing more you could do. The damage was done.

You looked away from the screen as you unlocked the story mode, waiting for what was about to happen. Normally, you would leave your room and meet Mint Eye’s leader outside your door; the plot progressing forward.

So when a Believer entered your room unannounced, demanding your audience with the Saviour, you knew it was over.

Collab art for @mmscum fic in @saeranzine , made in tears !｡：ﾟ(｡ﾉω＼｡)ﾟ･｡

RATING: General | GENRE: Hurt/Comfort/Fluff | 2,034 words SUMMARY: Young Saeran has a dream of a pleasant family. A/N: My full piece for the @saeranzine. It was a huge honour being able to participate in such a fun project with a multitude of talented and amazing people and share our love for Saeran! A big thank you to the mods for organizing this zine, to the contributors for a pleasant experience, and to everybody who supported it!

It’s only in the dead of night that the Choi twins can properly feel like they’re alive . The night is their time. It is only when the city has gone to sleep that the young children are able to breathe , a momentary reprieve from the hardships of the waking day with the person they call their mother.

The bedroom is dark, and the air is stifling, but the twins tolerate it since they still have each other. Their room acts as both a haven and a prison, separated from their cruel reality.

But despite everything, the Choi twins find a sense of comfort when nestled together underneath their thin blanket. It’s a simplistic fort of sorts, nothing more than a mere cloth draped over their small figures, but to the two young boys, it becomes their own world. In that small world, nobody can disturb them. In there, there only exists small flecks of happiness that Saeran can store away in his memories to drown out his sorrow.

My full piece for @saeranzine

Thank you for making this zine and putting together a team of such super-talented people!