Untitled

You must remember them, you must not miss them. That’s how they get you.

I have so many unsent letters and they claw at my brain like sweet voices, except everything is full of poison and my brain’s infected by the sweetness of it all.

I’m gonna crash. Not a simple crash out, but a crash in. A vertical collapse of all I am and of every piece of my being. Say cheese, this is my last stop for a while: rock bottom.

if I end up dead, will I have afterlife friends? Will anyone befriend me there? Even if I’m super anxiously attached? Even if I’m not okay?

I’m gonna miss my best friend, forever.

I feel like the whole thing of “others will treat you like you deserve to be treated” doesn’t apply to me in the “they will treat you better” sense, but in the “you deserve the bad treatment you get” sense

I guess the truth is I miss having a friend that loves me. I miss having someone who I can fully trust. I miss having someone, period.