next stop depression village

It's not like anyone would notice if I were to tranfer schools either but theres still some token friends who would care and then theres fake ass friends who will act sad for like a minute and then not talk at all

I think I'm going to tranfer soon and I'm not sure how to tell anyone

If I'm just going to disappoint everyone I should just quit school and just go straight into the work force since I'm useless in school anyways

I want to skip ahead where I'm working a job where I feel like I belong with a group of friends that I'm not afraid of being with

I'm so pathetic I get into whatever my friends get into but then I'm too scared to talk about anything with them. The only thing I've personally gotten into by myself is probably Pokemon supernatural and photography which is probably pathetic thing to say to other people and recently I can't find myself enjoying anything anymore and I just want a big reset on my life

I accidentally posted a really personal post on my main tumblr and now I can't find it to delete it

While I'm on the topic of crushes there's this kid (let's call him M) who I've known for 3 years of hs and at first he seems normal and there was some girls that has crushes on him and became friemds with him because they liked his spanish accent and wanted to fuck but i became his friend because he saw that i like anime he became one of my friends but thats when it all went downhill to creepy town. dont get me wrong i like anime too but he's a extremely super anime geek it's creepy. Like I like anime too but this is literally all he would talk about and hes super weird about it. He even talked about his friend Victor (who I briefly also know) having a loli KINKY (((basically means animes where the main character looks like a cute KID. A K.I.D. A CHILD!! THAT'S A FUCKING PEDO!))) and I was like NOPE GOODBYE THAT'S WAY TOO CREEPY. I think M also has an Asian fetish??? It weirds me out because last year all he would talk about his crushes on Asian girls and 1 Mexican girl who looked Asian and once he asked me if I had any cute Asian friends that's when I realized that he was creepy af. Well the reason why he became very creepier to me is because we have 1st period together and in class I took a small nap because we weren't doing anything for class. Well M sits right next to me and I didn't know he did this until a day later when he showed me but he drew a realistic photo of me sleeping in Class which I find creepy af!!!! He also keeps trying to get my number and I always dodge the question but I'm getting suoer creeped out because of him

I hate the fact that I get crushes on guys who will never want me back. I would start crushing on them and then find out he has a gf or hes just way out of my league. I even developed a crush on a kid who everyone hates ((Lets name him T for now)) but i like him because even if he acts mean and loud and has a weird sense of humor he's actually super nice and also sweet af but everyone keeps dissing T and I hate it :( last year people got mad at T for acting weird around his friend and crush getting together but I just felt horrible for him like honestly it was painfully obvious that he liked her but he still helped his friend get together with his crush and hearing that broke my heart and after that he was obviously depressed and made more weird jokes to cover it up. This guys has a horrible track record with girls and even when another girl who was also crushing on him and they would talk everyday and he went to a school show just for her and obviously he started to develope feelings for her too but last year she stopped talking to T buti didnt ask why she did because he got super sad :((( like hes so weak to crushes it makes me sad

Crushes are no bueno. Honestly I would rather died than tell any of my crushes that I like them. And I hate how if any guy gives me .0006 seconds of attention I'm already crushing on them. And I hate that I can't act on any crush because of a stupid promise I made myself back in middle school that I've kept until my senior year.