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Shark tank should have an Earth Day episode, where they have an environmental scientist sitting in on every pitch and they could ask questions like:

"And is this product shipped or flown overseas to reach customers?"

Or

"Does this product leave behind microplastics?"

And they could bring awareness about the environmental impact of consumerism, but they could be nice about it and give alternatives and advice and I think it could be really wholesome and amazing.

Or it could be just no-holds-barred, chaotic criticism of humanity and consumerism and capitalism

#happy earth day #shark tank #microplastics #as much as i love scrub mommies #environmental science #bill nye #the planet's on fucking fire #down with consumerism

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Multiple people trying to say something to me at table

Brain: Two people are talking to you.

Me: can I hear what they both said?

Brain: no. how dare you ask that.

Me: can i hear what one of them said?

Brain: for your insolence, you can't hear what either of them said. bitch.

#bitch brain #whyd i even ask #sorry slow monkey brain no understand #STOP one at a time

Love that fun part of a "breakup" where I'm cycling between

"im never going to find love, it must be me"

and

"so many great people date complete fucking morons, it doesn't even matter"

#ohhh now i see the red flag #shit thats what my mom meant #jesus christ was I in a coma for three months?#wait why was i ok with that?#breakup #boo-fucking-hoo

Happy Anniversary of the last time a group project ever got the job done

#ides of march #julius caesar #Happy stab your friend Ceasar day #or anyone named ceasar #just embrace the chaos today brings

whitepeopletwitter

samshine-and-lollipops-deactiva

Wait, it got better.

libertineangel

He does this a lot, to my deep surprise in undergrad:

For reference, the reason nobody likes this book and you can press tofu with it is that it’s about 1600 pages long.

horizon-penblade

It’s also, by all accounts, the origin of Cousin Throckmorton

supreme-leader-stoat

aceal0tl

@hellsite-hall-of-fame

#You know he made it 1600 pages because he's got a sense of humour #he likes our tears #new role model #he is my hero

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This is the perfect time to start dating someone older, this is prime age-gap fanfic season

God bless this site right now

You too ao3 ❤️

#dr robby #hucklerobby #the pitt #rabbot #tumblr #ao3 #love the saturation of pitt content #finding some new fantasies #never realized i had a praise kink before #that's new

Is it really Christmas if you don't find yourself

sitting on your kitchen floor

holding back tears

whispering "gingerbread cookies are not going to break me" repeatedly

as you watch your little hedgehogs spread into one large flat piece of gingerbread in the oven

#christmastime is here #gingerbread can smell your fear #christmas aint christmas till somebody cries #that somebodie's usually me #christmas #baking

Enemies to lovers, mc texting their ex-coworker:

February 2025

MC: Your replacement is a bitch.

September 2025

MC: We're married.

Coworker: called it.

#enemies to lovers #and they got married #still a bitch #but a bitch in love

Spirit halloweens really do capture the spirit of halloween by inhabiting the corpses of dead businesses

Perfectly on theme.

#RIP Toys R Us #the body was still warm spirit halloween #your possessed corpse still has your name underneath the tacked up spirit halloween banner #spirit halloweens are summoned when businesses die

I think I've got resting sad face

People keep asking me if I'm ok

#not sad just thinking #do i look tired?#leave me alone

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I want to be punk rock

But I'm still kinda scared of the dark

#will someone hold my hand at rock show please?#can we go out before sunset?#ill pretend im not scared for now

Women in medieval times: *has sex once so they curse hundreds of generations* *crying so hard they create rivers* *dies from heartbreak and haunts the man till he commits suicide*

Me: *hopping from heartbreak to heartbreak* i bet the next one will stick! :)

#shouldnt i be desensitized at this point?#why am i even still crying #youd think im tough but really just dumb #if i had magic abilities id have a trail of dead bodies #medieval woman: SLUT #me: you cant even vote

It's lovely how fanfiction romanticizes service jobs, it's like a little peek into the life of the author

They must work in a coffeeshop, no one else could describe making espresso so beautifully

#it makes me want to work in a cafe #or bar #or bookstore #i wanna regular that turns into the love of my life #somewhere with cozy vibes #and dark woods #and boardgames #fanfiction

I think the click sound my headphones make when I close their case is so satisfying because I still yearn for flip phones

#time to revert back to 2000 #i guess i couldnt have tumblr on it though #i miss you flip phones

Ok.

Katy Perry and Justin Trudeau were NOT on my 2025 list

Apparently now we're just doing crossovers from shit that happened earlier in the year?

#katy perry #justin trudeau #what the actual fuck #2025 #now theyre just fucking with us

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Times have changed and times are strange

Here I come but I ain't the same

Mama, I'm coming home

You made me cry, you told me lies

But I can't stand to say goodbye

Mama, I'm coming home

#rest in peace prince of darkness #lost a legend #hope you're blowing minds and melting faces up there #ozzy osbourne #1948-2025

I love seeing jokes in workplaces obviously made by past employees who aren't there anymore.

In the backroom there's graffiti on the walls, and there's a little toy taped above the register, and hidden away is a box with a dirty word written on it.

It's like walking through an apocalyptic world, trying to piece together people's lives with zero context.

Who put that little mickey mouse toy in the rafters? They were here before any of the current employees, and that mickey is still there as a reminder of someone I've never met. Who made an inside joke that could last decades.

#just thinking out loud #where did you come from mickey #he'll outlive all of us #boss cant make me take it down

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