⟡ ݁₊ .silas !!૮₍ › ˕ ‹ ₎ა

𓏲ּ𝄢⋆˚࿔ silas / misha , he/him , 18 , .ᐟ i post ab a lotta irl nsfw things .ᐟ

i’ve never been asked “do you need extra support” in a job interview until today (interview for a job in a school w people w disabilities) they picked up my scent

remembering when i called myself a tranny and my cis friend replied “did you just say tranny”

i used to hate kissing , pet names , buying gifts , speaking too romantically , spending extra on days w partners , the concept of staying w ppl i didnt have a full connection w , marriage occasionally , SEX ! , family stuff , moving out / in . and now w my bf i am completely opposite , all those things made me either uncomfortable , afraid or annoyed , and with my bf it’s the complete opposite . i always was told i was treating my partners “too much like friends” and felt uncomfortable answering questions ab if i felt attracted to them and often lied so hard i physically whinced while saying “i am attracted to you” and i didn’t know i was aroacespec until last year . then got shocked again when the boy id had a weird feeling for 6 years over that i hadn’t felt before came back to me and i felt even stronger than before . bc i was attracted . and the whole relationship has opened my eyes to what it really is like to be attracted and in love bc i couldn’t fathom wincing at questions of attraction w him or lunging away from kisses or forcing conversations to platonic alternatives with him . and being fully cognitively aware at all times instead of dissociating in romantic or sexual situations

ik i love my bf bc i before used to fear the day id have to share blankets w my partner and i have a single bed rn . everytime we meet its a “can you scooch up” no matter who has more room . we go under the sheets , blanket stuff . i think its romantic tho . the way my neck hurted slightly today giving him the pillow for a half hour ish was so nice

and she gimme ordaahhh

fenty face would genuinely be a good edit song for luka if not for the fact the genre doesn’t suit him in the slightest