Office of Sadmissions

Simmons University

Well, which one is it? Lead, follow, or cannibalize the fellow students in your (ahem) school?

Southwestern University

🎶It’s beginning to look a lot like ED applications 

were way below projections... 

Take a look in the yield management app 

Call the mailing printer ASAP 

For some Christmas cheer 🎶

Carthage College

Where you can get underwater on more than your student loans.

Berry College

We’re berry sorry the deer puns we just herd didn’t hit it out of the park.

Florida International University

... and so’s the tuition.

Longwood University

Or just stare at your phone while wandering around campus. Same diff.

BTW, this social media ad is an Office of Sadmissions first! We all know how much The Kids Today love the Facebook, right?

Private Colleges (all of them, we guess?)

Because a bunch of slices of Wonder bread would have been too on the nose.

Albright College

Find some liberal arts institution that looks at you like this, kids. 

Tulane University

To be fair, this ad was ostensibly about a campus service dog training program. But then, was the second part really necessary?

James Madison University

Intrigued by fire? Does your bedroom at home have a smoky smell? Is your Snapchat handle Prometheus69? Did the backyard leaf pile spontaneously self-combust? 

We get you.

Tulane University

INT. - ADMISSIONS MARKETING OFFICE

FADE IN

Admissions Consultant #1: We need an image for the mailer. Something that viscerally captures the excitement of going to school in the Big Easy.

Admissions Consultant #2: A picture of Bourbon Street? A streetcar? An artsy pile of beads and Carnival masks?

Admissions Consultant #1: I was thinking more of a featureless blue background, maybe with a shield or something. 

Admissions Consultant #2: GENIUS!

And… scene.

Seton Hall University

Great minds can boost the saturation on fall foliage photos to alarming levels.

Miami University, Ohio

But this one is worth $51,198.

Northwestern University

We may not be an ivy, but we do have plenty of leaves for the three days of fall before our unending, ceaseless winters.

PS - the one place in Evanston with ivy on the walls is a Burger King.

Gettysburg College

Man, facilities budget cuts are getting brutal.

Rochester Institute of Technology

Because “furries” isn’t a niche enough segment of prospective students, they had to throw in curling.

Longwood University

Because all the kids today remember exactly where they were when Tim Kaine waggishly raised his eyebrows.