spz (sad pathetic zombie)

☁︎ AU Tags:

☆ #AU - Scarian Death Game

☁︎ a scarian AU about a game developer (grian) meeting his favorite character (scar) in a death loop video game. ☁︎ MASTERPOST ☁︎ posts in chronological order

☆ #AU - Popstar Winners

life series winners as various female popstars

☆ #AU - Shadow Winners

the life series winners visit secret life!scar as quiet but animated shadows (with a bit of desert duo angst)

☆ #AU - Immortal GIGGS Company

the five of them are broke immortals trying to capitalize on their inability to die by taking on life-threatening jobs

☆ #AU - Gempearl Siren

...

hello! sorry i haven't been active here much. just really really busy. in a good way though, because i love what im doing haha

at the start of the year i only accounted going to 4 cons/art markets max for the year, but now im preparing for my 4th of 6 confirmed events ... orz

in one hand im really lucky to have these opportunities and to have this luck to get accepted in the first place, but on the other hand i haven't had a proper rest haha im going back to con crunching after this

i dont know though. im so tired but also so excited for every con because i keep meeting new mcyt fans and cosplayers! seeing cosplayers of characters i like makes all the sleepless and stressful days and nights so so worth it. and i dont know. i get shy receiving compliments but whenever i hear it from someone say it verbally i think the doubts i have about my art gets quieter in my head a little.

truthfully im cramming every con in this one year because im thinking of getting another degree next year. one that i think i might actually like. now i wouldnt say i know anything about computer engineering, but it sounds like fun. a lot of the things i want to do, i might be able to bring into reality if i get into this program.

cycling back to sdgau, its a work i started when i was feeling depressed in premed, wishing i couldve chosen literally anything else because i didn't want to spend more time in medschool or even residency. props to everyone whose passion is to be in healthcare, but i genuinely could not see myself in it.

that said, i always wanted to do something creative with sdgau, and i dont want to promise anything again but i really think i can apply whatever i learn into the vision i have for sdgau someday. hopefully.

another reason why im busy really! these cons are my possible funds for uni haha. hoping fingers crossed to get into a uni where ill get a little aid with the finances but ill get there when i get there.

additional reason: we had 2 lovely furry daughters at the start of the year, one of them died in march, and a week ago the vet confirmed the girl we still have with us has cancer. so. i guess these cons and projects i keep getting into are my way of coping. like if you always have so much to do, you dont have to think, right? haha. i know its unhealthy. i would strongly not advise you do what im doing. the moment i do absolutely nothing i might explode, actually.

dont know what else to say, dont even know if its smart to post all these here, but i don't know. i started here on tumblr and a lot of the motivation i had started here as well. so i just felt like its best to post this here.