POSSESSED.

LYDIA   COULD   FEEL   THE   SAD   SYNERGY   AMPLIFYING,   saturating   the   room   &   swirling   with   her   own   wistfulness   of   missing   allison.   it  never   left   lydia,   though   the   absence   of   the   courageous   captrix   dawned   upon   her   at   the   strangest   &   most   unexpected   times.   a   crying   session   wasn’t   part   of   today’s   agenda,   but   she   knew   the   haunting   aftereffects   of   losing   someone.   the   dimples   in   allison’s   smile,   her   silvery   laugh,   her   dauntless   loyalty,   her   kindness   that   could   make   flowers   blossom.   her   passion   for   animal   welfare.   her   shining   aura.   gone.

❛   she   sounds   like   a   lovely   person,   ❜   she   listened   dreamily.   everything   felt   surreal   after   that   fateful   night.   things   weren’t   supposed   to   happen   that   way,   a   double   rescue   mission   gone   wrong   &   lydia’s   last   words   to   her   best   friend   were   secretly   fingerprinted   on   her   car   window.   sometimes,   lydia   saw   allison   everywhere.   other   times,   it   felt   like    her   heart   was   crumbling   all   over  again.   lydia   loved   allison,   too.   

❛   i’m   sure   she   knew,   ❜   lydia   reassured   her,   casting   a   soft    smile   of   benevolence.   she   had   a   taste   of   living   with   that   regret,   the   crushing   knowledge   of   never   expressing   her   feelings   —   but   alice   didn’t   get   a   second   chance.   no   reunion.   lydia   pressed   her   lips   together,   momentarily   silent    with   her   gaze   cast   down.   then,   she   reached   out   &   gently   took   one   of   alice’s   hands   into   hers,   a   comforting   gesture.

❛   honestly   ?    ❜   lydia   wished   things   could   be   different.   she’d   do   anything   to   change   that   event,   to   buy    the   whole   pack   more    time.   maybe   nobody   had   to   die.   but   the   universe   didn’t   work   that   way.   ❛   when   my   best   friend   died   …   ❜   past   tense   was   still   so   STRANGE.   so   …    unreal.   ❛   there   were   a   lot   of   things   i  didn’t   get   to   tell   her.   and   i   wish   i   did,   ❜   she   empathized.   ❛   it’s   easy   to   feel   guilty   about   something   like   that.   but   the   only    way   it   gets   easier   is   if    you   decide   not   to   let   it   consume  you.   i’m   sure   maya   knows   everything   you   wanted   her   to,   ❜   lydia   went   on   softly.  ❛   does   it   ever   feel   like   …   like   she’s   still   with   you    sometimes   ?  

she’s motionless, staring off into the distance with glassy eyes. her body is heavy and hot, taken over by her grief and her guilt, and the only thing keeping her from reliving that horrid night was the weight of lydia’s hand in her own

alice goes over her words inside her head. does it feel like maya is still with her? no. no, there’s someone else there now, something else, that took her place. a shadow by alice’s side, everyday, all the time. a new bestie who knows every little thing about her, and will love her care for her keep her safe never leave her. no matter what. so, no. it doesn’t feel like maya is still with her.  

“no.” she says, “no, i think she’s just gone.”

and a part of her thinks that maybe, just maybe, that might be for the best.

             afraid   she’d   accidentally   hit   a   sensitive   spot,   lydia   presses   peony   balmed   lips   together   with   an   almost   apologetic   expression   —   LOSS   is   a   perennial   feeling  ;  something   that   follows   the   banshee   everywhere,   a   shadowy   undercurrent   coloring   her   world.   death   changes   everything.   she   can’t   seem   to   shake   the   tendrils   of   melancholy   curling   around   her,   as   if   absorbing   alice’s   emotional   state.   as   if   the   sadness   becomes   her   own.   she   really   didn’t   mean   to   upset   her.   pausing   carefully,   lydia   decides   to   try   lifting   the   mood,   though   she   gives   into   curiosity.   ❛   yeah  …   sometimes   it   just   hits   you   when   you   least   expect    it,.  ❜   she   empathizes   knowingly,   gaze   spacing   into   another   world   for   a   minute.    ❛  i’m   sure   they   were   a   lovely   person,   ❜   she   offers   a   faint   smile.    ❛   what   were   they   like   ?   ❜

what were they like? where should she start? maybe with evan, and how he was so bright and warm. how he always told the stupidest jokes, but he never failed to make her laugh. or perhaps with mari, and how she was so many things at once; the school’s best photographer, a budding cryptographer, an amazing athlete. how there were days that alice often struggled to keep up with her. 

or maybe, just maybe, she should start with maya. 

maya, the genius, who was hand picked by schools across the state. maya, who was fierce and confident and never let herself or anyone else give up. maya, who alice had loved in more ways than one. maya, who’s hand alice had held when she was killed.

yeah. she should definitely start with maya.

“her name was maya,” she has take a pause; the name feels heavy on her tongue. alice hadn’t said her name aloud in so long. “she was my best friend. and she was beautiful. and smart. god, she was so smart. and... and i loved her.” 

alice had never admitted it out loud. it had been a secret that she held close to her heart, a weight she carried with her each day. no living soul had known of it. until now.

alice quirks a brow as she sets the extinguisher down. she crosses her arms across her chest and takes in the scene before her. this strange man is standing here talking about... setting whiskey on fire? but isn’t whiskey highly flammable? honestly, she couldn’t remember if it was or wasn’t. either way, it didn’t really matter. because, if it all goes to shit, at least she’s got the fire extinguisher. so she'd be fine. probably.

tagged by: no one! tagging: anyone who wants to!

colors //  brown.  orange.  yellow.  green.  blue.  purple.  pink.  black.  white.  teal. burnt orange.  silver.  gold.   grey. lilac. metallic.  matte.  royal  blue. strawberry  red.  charcoal grey. forest  green. navy  blue.  crimson.  cream.  blood  red. mint  green.  ivory. seafoam.

elements //   fire.  ice.  water.  air. earth. rain.  snow. wind.  moon.  stars.  sun.  heat.  cold.  steam.  frost. lightning.  sunlight.  moonlight.  dawn.  dusk.  twilight.  midnight. sunrise.  sunset.  dewdrops.  storm.

body //   claws.  long  fingers.  fangs.  teeth.  wings.  tails.  lips.  bare  feet.  freckles.  bruises. canines.  scars.  scratches.  wounds.  burns.  spikes.  feathers.  webs.  eyes.   hands. sweat.  tears.  feline. chubby.  curvy.  thin.  lean.  short. tall. normal height. muscular. piercings.  tattoos.

weapons //  fists.  feet.  sword.  dagger.  spear.   arrow. hammer.  shield.  poison.  guns. axes.  throwing  axes. whips.  knives.   throwing  knives. pepper  sprays.  tasers.  machine  guns.  slingshots.  katanas.  maces.  staffs.  wands.  powers.  magical  items.  magic.  rocks.  legs.  scythe.

materials //   gold.  silver.  platinum. titanium. diamonds.  pearls.  rubies.  sapphires. emeralds.  amethyst.  metal.  iron.  rust.  steel.  glass.  wood. vibranium. porcelain.  paper. wool.  fur.  lace.  leather. silk.  velvet.  denim. linen.  cotton.  charcoal. clay.  stone.  asphalt. brick.  marble.  dust.  glitter.  blood.  dirt. mud.  smoke.  ash.  shadow. carbonate.  rubber.  synthetics.

nature //   grass.  leaves.  trees.  bark.  roses.  daisies.  tulips.  lavender.  petals.  thorns. seeds.  hay.  sand.  rocks.  roots.  flowers.  ocean.  river.  meadow.  forest.  desert.  tundra. savanna.  rain-forest.  caves.  underwater.  coral  reef.  beach.  waves.  space.  clouds.  mountains.  cliffs.

animals //   lions.  wolves.  eagles.  owls.  falcons.  hawks.  foxes.  swans.  snakes. turtles.  ducks.  bugs.  spiders.  birds.  cheetahs.  whales.  dolphins.  fish.  sharks. horses. cats.  dogs. bunnies.  praying  mantises.  panthers.  crows.  ravens.  mice.  lizards.  werewolves.  unicorns.  pegasus.  dragons.  rats.

food //    sugar.  salt.  candy.  bubblegum.  wine.  champagne.  hard  liquor.  beer.  coffee. tea.  spices.  herbs.  apple.  orange.  lemon.  cherry.  strawberry.  watermelon.  vegetables. fruits.  meat.  fish.  pies.  desserts.  chocolate.  cream.  cotton candy.  caramel.  berries. nuts. cinnamon.  burgers. burritos.  pizza.  ambrosia.  bread.

hobbies //   music.  art.  watercolors.  gardening.   reading.  sculpting.  painting.  sketching.  fighting.  writing.  composing.  cooking.  sewing.   training.  dancing.  acting.  singing.  martial arts.  self-defense. electronics. technology.  cameras.  video  cameras. video  games. computer. phone.  movies.  theater.  libraries. magazines.  cds.  records.  vinyls.  cassettes.  piano.  violin.  guitar.  electronic  guitar.  bass  guitar.  harmonica.  mathematics. harp.  woodwinds.  brass.  bells.  playing  cards.  poker  chips.  chess. dice.  motorcycle riding.  eating.  climbing.  running.

style //   lingerie.  armor.  cape.  dress.  tunic.  vest.  shirt.  boots. heels.  leggings. trousers.  jeans.  skirt.  jewelry.  earrings.  shoulder  holsters.  necklace.  bracelet.  ring.  pendant.  hat.  crown.  circlet.  helmet.  scarf.  brocade.  cloaks.  corsets.  doublet.  chest plate. leather jacket. bracers.  belt.  sash.  coat.  jacket. hood.  gloves.  socks.  masks. cowls. braces.  watches.  glasses.  sunglasses.  visor.  eye contacts.  makeup.  tactical  gear.

——————      REPOST   ,   DON’T REBLOG. ——————      BOLD WHATEVER APPLIES.    FEEL FREE TO ADD STUFF IN ANY CATEGORY.

CLAIRAUDIENCE: muddy converse and record scratches,  ominous cable towers stretching over flat grey farmland, laugh tracks of retro tv shows playing in distant rooms, rolling thunder and the x-files theme, tourmaline and tigers eye, spectral heartbeats, the power of knowing a being’s true name, talking to pets,  distorted singing through a.m. radio static, things that go bump in the night, the sensation of being a conduit, whispered invocations and dusty hymnals, the hum of running electricity, sepia attic photographs, guardian angels.

CLAIRVOYANCE: shifting kaleidoscope-like patterns of leaves and spirals, peacock feathers, headaches behind the eyes,  rainbows, blinding flashes of white light, vivid dreams of not-quite-human entities, sacred geometry, flower crowns, brightly colored  illustrations in 70s science fiction books,   tarot cards, twinkling and darting figures in your peripheral vision, green flourite, shimmering auras around everyone’s bodies, layers of pendant necklaces, daydream fantasy universes with intricately familiar geography.

CLAIRCOGNIZANCE: strange runes and symbols on  vellum scrolls, vintage maps, intricately carved bronze clockwork gears turning in a  great machine, numerology, memories that aren’t quite your own, dreaming of labyrinthine halls in ancient libraries, flickering firelight, leather bound journals, sparse footsteps through otherwise silent museum corridors, silver and hematite, memorized prophecies, dead languages, staying up all night reckoning with a single problem, feeling called to lead people into the liberating light of knowledge.

CLAIRSENTIENCE: evening descending over wooded mountains, goosebumps, the peripheral sensation of yellow animal eyes watching from darkness of the thicket, sliding planchettes, the word “susurrus,” deja vu, amethyst clusters  and the scent of autumn air,  sensitivity to liminal spaces, campfire smoke swirling into the night sky, sacred rituals, a pulsing web of roots and veins connecting all living matter, weeping for the pain of others, trouble distinguishing the boundaries of the self

TAGGED  BY SNATCHED FROM:   @bansheeintuition

——————      REPOST   ,   DON’T REBLOG. ——————      BOLD WHATEVER APPLIES.    FEEL FREE TO ADD STUFF IN ANY CATEGORY.

GOTHIC HORROR.

gaslights.   corsets.   ballrooms.   candlelight.  mist.   starless nights.   full moons.   cobbled streets.   horse-drawn carriages.   mysterious strangers.  bogs.  moors.  forests.  mountains.   castles.   velvet. silver.  brass.  gold.  jewels.   domino masks.  the opera. dangerous romances.   tragic romances.  violins.  roses.  lilies. empty graves.  crosses.  cemeteries. snow. ice.   the gallows.   crows.  milk-white skin. ambiguous illness.  fangs. pointed nails.  something howling in the night.  capes.   gloves.   top hats.   straight razors.   lightning.  pipe organs.   underground caverns. bats.   mice.   rats.  ravens.  cats.   pearls. attics.   talismans. axes.   wood.  isolation in a room full of people.   vampires.   werewolves.   ghosts. coffins. western europe.  eastern europe. bones. churches.  catacombs.   mausoleums.  spiders. books.

CLASSIC HORROR.

black   &   white. powder puffs.  red lipstick. winged eyeliner.  white kitten heels. black lace lingerie.   icy blue eyes.  rain. abandoned cars.   skeletons.  acid. poison.  voyeurism. switchblades.  strangling.   overcoats. looking over your shoulder.   trans-atlantic accents.   private detectives. dinner parties.   haunted mansions. alcohol in glass decanters. cobwebs. perfect blonde curls.   kitchen knives.  shock.   cellars.  dust. dark alleys.  empty streets.   driving at night. horn-rimmed glasses.   radiation.  zombies.  serial murder.   paranoia. the city.  witches. the devil. cannibalism.  conspiracies.  amulets.  abject terror. the american south. the american northeast.  england.  analog cameras.

SLASHERS.

bloodbaths.   massacres.  wanton nudity.  newspapers.  leather jackets.  letterman jackets.  converse sneakers. obscured faces.  social unrest.  bonfires.   lakes.  babysitters.   suburbia.   high school.   lockers.  dead leaves in the fall.   jack-o’-lanterns.  outdated television sets. nightmares.  psychiatrists. hospitals.  unstoppable forces. gunfire. police.   landline telephones. household objects turned into improvised weapons.  halloween. secrets.  revelations. character masks. scrunchies. queerness. wild curls.  morbid humor. jeering children. parties.   fire. swearing. revulsion.   california.  the american midwest.   ambulances.

PARANORMAL HORROR.

malevolent spirits.  seances.   spells. missing bodies.  hidden graves.   white noise.  static. flickering lights.  rings of salt.   demons.  poltergeists. dark histories. old buildings.  cold air.  mausoleums.   wells.   urban exploration.  a dog barking at something you can’t see. black ooze.  old photographs. faces you can swear you’ve seen before but can’t for the life of you figure out where. dark bodies of water.   crucifixes.   priests.   possession.   exorcisms.   dolls.   jump scares.

CRYPTID   &   URBAN LEGEND HORROR.

aliens.   blinding light.   dark woods.   driving at night.  claw-marks.  bite-marks. men in black.   memory loss.  dismembered bodies.   sewers.  flashlights.   cell phones. video cameras. cars with tinted windows.  abandoned houses.   unlabeled cassette tapes. bugs.  big cities.   urban crimes.  clowns.   something rustling outside your window. glowing light.   unsolved mysteries.  suburbia. mirrors. the american pacific northwest.   the american midwest. the american east coast. hiking   /   backpacking.

THRILLERS.

daylight. fluorescent lighting.   morgues.   asylums.   unwavering eye contact.  tension. lit rooms with no one inside them.   a dog digging in the newly-planted flower bed. steely gazes.  paperwork. anagrams.   codes.  convicted killers.  missing persons. law enforcement.   federal agents. small towns. suspicion.   paranoia.   subdued terror. dimly-lit parking lots.

headcanon: alice doesn’t want to kill anyone. she doesn’t want to watch someone’s life leave their eyes. but, she doesn’t mind hurting anyone. she’s more than happy to open a can of whoopass on someone, so long as they’re alive and somewhat breathing when she’s done.

              PREMONITION   RIDDLED   &   OMEN   TAUNTED,   lydia   can   agree   in   a   heartbeat.   ❛   personally   ?   i’ve   never   been   a   fan   of   the   unknown,   either,   ❜   she   signs,   her   visions   a   GIFT   despite   the   most   precarious  shadows   cast   over   her   psyche.   abstracted,   lydia   senses   a   shift   in   the   atmosphere.   the   air   is   sickly   sweet,   a   distant   echo   of   a   woman’s   sobs   lacing   into   the   frequency   only   to   fade   out   instantaneously.   LYDIA   KNOWS   THIS   FEELING,   heavy.   wistful.   it   dawns   on   her   that   it’s   coming   from   alice,  her   aura   emanating   sadness   &   a   sense   of   guilt   finds   lydia.   oh   no.   did   she   say   something   insensitive   ?   tart  &   candid   by   nature,   the   strawberry   blonde   sometimes  caught   herself   before   crossing   a   boundary   &   she   wishes   she   had   been   more   delicate.  the   same  sadness   crosses  pale   features   after   a   quiescent   lull   as   she   watches   the   other   girl   attentively.     ❛   are   you   okay  …   ?   ❜

is she okay? no, no she’s not. and she hasn’t been for a while. but she’s not going to admit that. at least, not aloud. no matter how much she wanted to. besides, there was no way to explain it all without sharing the whole godawful truth, and she wasn’t about to drag anyone else into this mess. if she could spare someone, especially someone so seemingly kind and sweet, of the nightmare she called her life, she would.

① ARE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE ? nope. my parents just liked my name. ② WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED ? uh,,,, i can’t remember when i last full on cried, but i teared up today when i watched the new maleficent film. ③ DO YOU HAVE KIDS ? unless pets count, nah. ④ DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT ?   yeah.  ⑤ WHAT’S THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE ?   outfits or hairstyles. sometimes makeup. ⑥ WHAT’S YOUR EYE COLOR ?  brown. ⑦ SCARY MOVIE OR HAPPY ENDING ?  i like both, but if i had to choose, i’d say happy endings. there’s honestly nothing better than having characters go through hell and having them get their happily ever after in the end. ⑧ ANY SPECIAL TALENTS ? kinda weird, but whenever i bake something, like cookies or cupcakes for example, they ALWAYS turn out really good. ⑨ WHERE WERE YOU BORN ? north carolina ⑩ WHAT ARE YOUR HOBBIES ?  napping, video games, going for walks, writing. ⑪ DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS ? i have three cats, and they’re all brats. ⑫ WHAT SPORTS DO YOU PLAY/HAVE YOU PLAYED ? i played tennis once, but not for very long. i wanna learn archery, though. ⑬ HOW TALL ARE YOU ? 5′2 ⑭ DREAM JOB ? sugar baby writer/video game maker ⑮ FAVORITE SUBJECT AT SCHOOL ? art or english