𓆩♡𓆪

for months and months, over a year actually, i just couldn't manage to eat low, like it was impossible. i was grieving a death of the most important thing in the world to me, and it felt like i just couldn't control myself around anything. i'm finally feeling like i'm locking in again... and it feels so incredible

thinking abt meeting my ex gf around this time last year is making it easy not to eat lmaoooo

i'm back and i was able to complete my first 36hr fast in literally over a year... i'm so back i'm so back i'm so back

i come back on here and check in on my mutuals and see them losing and im simultaneously happy for them and disgusted with myself that i can’t do the same and just fucking st@rv

am i gay test at 24

im so bad at restr!ct1ng that ultimately it is all about distracting myself at every waking minute of the day from food. like bc my roots are with BED and m!@ i’m just constantly fighting the urge to eat even when im full and not eat to the point where i have to pur93. god pls give me back that brief period of 2023/2024 when i was euphoric about not eating and the more hours that went by the more deliriously focused i got on l0sing (i was the most depressed i’ve ever been and went to hospital got medicated and gained 10kg lol.. can’t fucking do it since)

i know everyone is different but i literally freak out when i see someone say they b1ng3d on like 500-1000cals like i wish that was MEEEEEEEEE i eat 6k cals like it’s a light snack god help me