Comfort Room

From what I could recall..

(1ST)

Once again, for the nth time, the setting was in my Alma Mater since Kinder until I completed High School, Stella Maris College. It seemed that it was also Sunday in my dream, but I was wearing my High School daily uniform, a long sleeve polo with navy blue skirt and a navy blue neck tie. I was in the bleachers of the HS covered court with Elijah who wears casual clothes (as I recall it was his old light green shirt and black slacks). But this time, the bleachers we were in was in an unusual position from the actual one. It was against from the side where our Chapel is or against the main entry of the HS covered court. From the Chapel, it seemed that the building was sectioned so that Mary Anne Balmaceda, my HS classmate and former basketball team mate sitting inside the Chapel could see me from there. I know that I was with Elijah and felt he knew it too but at the same time it seemed that we haven't met at that time so we did not actually interacted in the dream. Elijah was seated, and while I was about to go down the bleachers, Veronica Froyalde, a school mate also from High School who is a year level below mine and a former club mate in Hiblang Sinag, a theater collective, called me to play basketball. She then summoned my former basketball team mates, Rose Anne Bulong and Mary Anne Balmaceda. They were in Basketball attires wearing T-shirts, basketball shorts and rubber shoes; while I was wearing my daily uniform. I told them, "hala, madudulas ako dito," as I tried examining the floor if I would be ok by running a bit on the court wearing my black shoes as we prepared to play.

As we were gathered to play, Balmaceda who seemed to lead us as the captain, was giving us instructions when I asked if we are going to play half-court since there were other groups playing also at the other side of the court and minding that some of us are just wearing daily uniforms. She said we'll take over the whole court. I somehow, asked Elijah that he could come and play with us but I said we were all girls. But what's weird is that I was intentionally asking him, but in the dream he seemed to be invisible but not really so instead I was actually asking another boy in daily uniform on the farther side of the bleachers. There were several spectators from the bleachers, most are boys in Stellan's daily uniform.

As we tried positioning ourselves in the court, the game started and I started running when the ball was thrown to be catched by Balmaceda. I took over as defense to take the ball from her. It was a tight block that I did that she can hardly pass the ball to her team mate and she was about to stumble when she called it off. She seem to be giving me some points to remind me how it should be, etc. When I thought I wasn't playing properly due to my black shoes, I went to the side of the bleachers to removey shoes, but I forgot to remove my socks so I went back to remove it. Then I started warming up by jogging around the court, while being mindful that finally Elijah could watch me how I play basketball, and show off to him how masculine I look when I play basketball and why there were also girls who would be attracted to me in HS. It was a slow warm up, not that really serious that I went from side steps around the court alternately, and then back steps around the court. The game started again, the ball was with a team mate outside the court who would pass the ball to any of us, when I suddenly cut through to the defense to catch the ball when she passed it to me. When I was about to shoot the ball, it was too light that it went over the ring, because it was already a volleyball ball. I asked them where is our basketball ball, and told me that the owner left, so we were left with the volleyball. I insisted to look for another ball when a guard went by so he could assist us to get one from the locked cage beneath the bleachers. What's funny was he had to remove a sofa, where a nomad couple was sleeping inside the cage.

(2ND)

I went inside (it seemed to be another dimension) a small room that seemed to be a studio unit. She asked me to eat and asked me how was my day playing basketball and how was it with the boys. She was beautiful and sexy and looks like the veteran actress but the younger version of herself. She had small curls, black, and shoulder-length hair, wearing white spaghetti strap sando that fits her curvavious body, and a black shorts. We were conversing a lot, which I could not actually remember now the details.. all I could recall was that at the end of the conversation, we were talking about her leaving the country because she had cancer(?).

(3RD)

It was just weird random images. I think I saw a plate number? Which I could not recall... I could remember there was a "P" in it. Also, I remember 767 that flashed while dreaming.

Woke up at around 11:30am when I heard the door closed when someone went out of our bedroom. Thought if it was already 5 in the afternoon before I opened my eyes because I can sense the dark daylight.

From what I remember:

(1ST)

In our house, I was a grandmother with an unfamiliar face and unfamiliar body stature. I was thin and had my gray and black hair gathered in a bun.

In the dream I seem to be observing myself as that grandmother. I was browsing through an old picture album that contained old black and white and sepia portraits of young ladies all in smiles. In the dream, I seem to recognize that I was the young lady in the pictures with different famous young actresses (whatever years were those) in the "past". But as "I (as the old gradmother)" was browsing the album from a familiar old book shelf here at home, I saw my "old age husband (a thin, gray haired man, he looks like Ernesto Zarate but thinner)" with our apo (an unfamiliar young boy) from afar as an observer in the dream. They were observing me as the grandmother at a distance in a foodcourt inside a mall as I happily looked at the old picture album. It seem to recreate the former food court in SM Cubao. They were seated on the white benches, designed with a lot of holes. As an observer in the dream, I heard myself as the apo saying "bakit parang sinusundo na si lola" to the grandfather. And then, like a monologue, I heard myself answering the question as the grandmother "oo sinusundo na nga yata ako, napanaginipan ko na may mga sumusundo sakin" from which I remembered several unfamiliar dreams while in that dream, and saw images of that dream where, I, as the grandmother was being fetched by my so-called late relatives.

(2ND)

What I remember next was that I was alone here at home, in the living area. I was wearing my orange "pambahay" shirt while I seem to be doing my usual routine here at home which I cannot remember what I was actually doing in that dream but can only remember that feeling from that dream.

Everyone was asleep, and it seemed to be at around 4 in the morning when Carl (my brother) woke up and went out of their bedroom. At first I didn't recognize what he did when he went out of their bedroom as I was busy with something which I cannot remember (ugghh, was I dreaming the previous dream and woke up when Carl went out of the bedroom in that dream? I cannot remember..). What I remembered next was that I saw him in his usual white sando and undergarment shorts sitting on the chair with the mirror at his back, our actual set-up here at home, while he was busy browsing through his phone. When he went back inside their bedroom, I think, I was busy analysing the previous dream that I had while actually being in that dream, when I smell something very bad. An odor of somewhat being burned (maybe I dreamt of this same smell because of the off smell I sensed last night when I heated my cup of coffee in the microwave because we ran out of hot water). But in that dream, it turned out that the Adobo was still being reheated under high heat. The flames were all up in blue. I was very disappointed in Carl, because in that dream I was murmuring, "hala, iniwan 'to ni Carl na naka-bukas (yung kalan)?!?!?!". I tried to check the meat inside the pan with a fork which was easily done because it had no cover. They weren't burnt yet which I expected them to be. It seemed to stick to the pan slightly but it wasn't burned yet. It defied my logic in that dream beacause I was analyzing, how come that the adobo seemed to be intact and still seemed succulent when Carl left it on heat for how many hours already?? I then analyzed how many hours Carl left it because it seemed half a day, or was it 4 hours as I recalled while I was in that dream.

(3RD)

The next thing I remembered was I was riding the bus again (for the 3rd consecutive night, I dreamt of a bus again). I was seated next to Elijah, at the side of the window. He was cuddling me, while me being all "kilig" when I suddenly analyzed how come I do still feel the same way even after 5 years... -_- and then we were halted by the "lady bus conductor" as she asked for our fare. I asked how much, and then I got a 20 peso bill from my wallet from my bag and handed over to her. I wasn't able to see her face, but she seemed to dress up as a sales lady in the wet market wearing a black belt bag around her big waist and portruding belly. She seem to keep her face away from me that's why I wasn't able to see her.

Then as the bus ride went on, I seem to be thinking about religion (maybe because of the video I watched before I went to sleep about a dogmatic Christian and a Satanist who spent their whole day handcuffed). I was thinking of how dogmatic a religion could be even if it doesn't have to be while I was looking outside the window where the green plain field of rice relaxed me down. I suddenly blurted out to Elijah that I would want to change religion, which he also agreed to after my explanation and then he also told me that he wanted to change his religion as well.

But in reality, I didn't have that feeling about changing my religion per se to another. In reality, I am blurry about my belief in "religion" but not in my faith in the Lord.

Then after that conversation in the bus, I noticed that we were heading a straight path but nice cemented road with still rice fields on both sides. It was a smooth ride, however the night seemed to fall fast and it was pitch dark as I also blurted out during the trip. It was too dark even inside the bus that I hardly see the people with us. The only time that the bus driver would turn on the headlights was when there's an incoming vehicle in front of us which headlights were turned on. There were a number of vehicles that passed by. But the bus driver kept the bus and the road it traverses dark unless there's another vehicle in front. Then I woke up.

=======

Before I went to sleep at around 5 in the morning today, I was excited to dream and asked God to give me more messages. I am always excited to sleep because of my dreams. My dreams are not always good, but I have a strong feeling that I get to know ahead what's ahead of me through my dreams.

Just like yesterday, when I knew who would come up to open the gate of the penthouse when we visited the office because I have dreamt of him, but that's not exactly what happened in the dream.

Kay lambot ng aking unan Ngunit ang hirap naman higaan Malamang ang dahilan ay paninibago Sa waring karangyaang hindi inako

Bagong unan ba ang salarin Sa aking paghimbing na alanganin Kung ang alangan tila namumutawi Ni piliting pumikit hindi mawari

Isang daang tula kay Stella Kahit isa pinangarap na makuha Kung iyong tahanan aking babagtasin May pangako ba'ng luha'y papawiin

By this point in time, she has been readying herself for that future; her career and her family life. Despite her babbling about not believing in their future together, deep inside she is somehow confident enough about her life with him. However, there is this issue that they keep on setting aside; rather, “he keeps on setting aside.”

She knows how important her beliefs are to her, and she as well, knows and understands the importance of his beliefs are to him more than he can comprehend. She would really love to talk about it, not to the point of arguing of whose belief is better. She appreciates the differences, the likeness, and the uniqueness of each. But she wonders, how is it not welcoming for him to talk about it as if it would just destroy them both once discussed. She understands his reasons for the “right time” for those kind of discussion, but not now, not tomorrow, nor whenever it starts.

I know that girl. Since she was young, she never hesitated talking about her beliefs among her co-believers nor hesitated sharing it and discussing it with the non-believers. She is confident with her beliefs that she takes risks in putting it in question despite knowing her non-competence on defending it. Given that, how could I not see how integral is her belief to her?

By this point in time, she has been readying herself for that future; her career and her family life. Despite her babbling about not believing in their future together, deep inside she is somehow confident enough about her life with him. However, there is this issue that they keep on setting aside; rather, “he keeps on setting aside.”

I wonder how does she keep company with him who keeps on setting aside each of their beliefs for almost three years now. For several times she tried discussing it with him for reasons of better understanding of each other and accepting each other even more. Given that, how could he not see how integral is her belief to her?

I know that boy. For some years now, I come to know him as an innocent but clever young man. He may not have the courage to start a small talk, but whenever he has something to say, he stands by it; and he strongly stands by it...though at times, it may not how it should be. When proven wrong, his escapism is humor--which he is gifted with. But he does not do it the same with his faith. He does not want to talk about it. Even she, couldn’t comprehend his isolation treatment for his faith. All she could understand is that his beliefs are as important to him as her beliefs are to her.

By this point in time, she has been readying herself for that future; her career and her family life. Despite her babbling about not believing in their future together, deep inside she is somehow confident enough about her life with him. However, there is this issue that they keep on setting aside; rather, “he keeps on setting aside.”

Calm down, Come down Here by the sea Aid me see Seize this moment Cease my agony.