ur m1rr0r

Only a Fool Would Say That - Steely Dan (1972)

A world become one of salads and sun

Only a fool would say that

A boy with a plan, a natural man

Wearing a white Stetson hat

Unhand that gun begone

There's no one to fire upon

If he's holding it high

He's telling a lie

I heard it was you

Talking 'bout a world where all is free

It just couldn't be

And only a fool would say that

The man in the street dragging his feet

Don't wanna hear the bad news

Imagine your face there is his place

Standing inside his brown shoes

You do his nine to five

Drag yourself home half alive

And there on the screen

A man with a dream

I heard it was you

Talking 'bout a world where all is free

It just couldn't be

And only a fool would say that

Anybody on the street

Has murder in his eyes

You feel no pain

And you're younger than you realize

Only a fool would say that

Only a fool

I heard it was you

Talking 'bout a world where all is free

It just couldn't be

And only a fool would say that

Only a fool would say that

This is disgusting

I am ashamed I cannot articulate my words

Everything about it make me nauseous

The large wet tongue touching mine and crossing over my teeth

Feeling the groves of my molars

Pulling back and feeling moisture all over my mouth

Having to keep my eyes ajar like crack in the door I watch myself from

I watch the scene play out from someone else

Moving lower the more my stomach turns

Knowing I am lying just lying

I move lower and this is where my mouth begins to salivate

perhaps it wants to only know the taste of itself

Something familiar

It begins and I begin a focus though that focus lasts as long as my interest to do this

I begin to count as I pump my fingers in

Counting as a beat, I never understood why I chose this

As it continues over 12 counts

1 and 2 and

I restart over and over and over again

Until something makes me lose my concentrate

Words and noises that are supposed to be sexy and make me wet anger me

I push faster and harder, I carve my fingernails into her pale skin

Watching the red lines appear

I can compare it to something else

Something less satisfying

“Yes!”

Unbeknownst to my frustration

Finding my false identity sexy and kinky

I pull away and see the webs of saliva attaching to my mouth and chin

I don’t want to bare it

I don’t want to see the same webs across my fingers

It isn’t her fault, she’s beautiful and sexy and everything that is right

She is perfect

I cannot fulfill this desire and I know it