ryx

tags (current):

💭 - random thoughts or drabbles, i'll try to keep posts under these mainly vanilla or sfw.

🦋 - all erotic or nsfw content will be labeled under this, so please beware </3

it matters a lot actually, but to acknowledge that means i care

you know, maybe i would've liked to go to prom

maybe, i'd want to experience a real birthday and get gifts and a cake, celebrate my 18th year, all of that.

maybe, i'd want to experience the joys of holidays, it's so so silly

maybe, i wanted more than one person in my family to come to my graduation.

or maybe, any of my events.

maybe, it would've been nice to look up at the crowd when i was walking the stage and get embarrassed by all of my family shouting and yelling my name.

the saddest part about graduation was that i didn't even know my sister made it there. for that entire time, even when i talked on stage, i thought no one came for me. how pathetic it was to look into the crowd and see no one from my family there for me.

i've became so used to handling all of my achievements, ceremonies, and plays by myself.

it's all i know actually, i dont remember a time where this wasn't the case, even as far back as elementary school.

maybe the worst part was the sympathetic stares from other adults. the parts where they'll ask who came with me and i'd have to say no one. then, they'd give me this look of pity and try to redirect the conversation. the parts where i'd have to look at everyone else with their families and sit next to them.