[dan howell voice] literally

ill be sappy whenever i want. i dont give a shit. i love you. fuck off

why my hand shaky

your skeleton is ready to hatch

this is so fucking ominous thank you

my dad and sister came home and they went to the salvation army and brought home some chairs and i said “you shouldn’t buy from them because they discriminate gays” and my dad sarcastically replied “well then no gay asses have sat in our chair” and i said “i can change that” and sat in one that is how i accidentally came out to my family

It’s been years since I posted this on my old account and I genuinely forgot about this happening

everytime I hear about children of the corn I think about the guy I met at comic con who actually lived in the town they filmed that movie at, and on the farm where they filmed in the corn. he was a teenager at the time and him and his friends would get drunk on moonshine and rustle the corn and let the air out of the tires of the production team’s trailers and shit. and now there’s Wikipedia pages about how the children of the corn set was haunted and they thought they angered god but it was really just drunk hillbillies

I don’t like adding to posts but I also have a funny story like this, so I was watching the movie the Blair witch which takes place in burkettsville maryland, which to me is so funny because that is were my grandfather lives and the town is literally just old people and cows with their main street consisting of a post office. Well anyway he told me that after it came out people were coming in like bus loads to the town to find the witch and my grandfather lives up in the Mountain area and people were up in his property trying to find the witch and it made him angry so he went out and hung up stick people and stacked rocks and it freaked the people out so they started thinking something was out there when really it was my 80 year old Italian grandpa who wanted people out of his woods.

We had ghost hunters come to a historic house in my town to film and if you think every high school kid in town respectfully stayed at home that night instead of going to fuck up that filming you’re dead wrong.

this is comforting, actually, sometimes paranormal things are just a bunch of bored people dicking around in the woods.

New favorite cryptid: locals

throwback to that time in 2013 when i made a text post that said “i would die without weed” and someone reported it to my college as a suicide threat and they pulled me out of class and made me see a counselor who had the text post printed out and highlighted on a piece of paper

not being dramatic or anything but i think i’ve actually spent about 10 months of this year tired and sad

but at least ur gay right

at least i’m gay

Great find, thanks!

Pemdas

Please Eat My Damn Ass Sir

she knocked that smug look off my face but luckily i was wearing a second, smaller smug look underneath

why is that so fuckin funny