廖化

I HAVE SPENT SO LONG THINKING ABOUT THIS thank you for bringing it up.

I agree that Emma is for sure Deku. The positive attitude, not giving up, that girl is Deku.

I also agree that Ray is a pretty good mix of both Bakugou and Todoroki. Like you said he’s a risky smartass that likes to tease like Bakugou (but much more toned down) but at the same time very private/reserved like Todoroki. The fire and ice element works well for Ray too, since he comes off as cold but he’s actually not, plus like… Ya know. Fire. And his family relations. I also can see a little bit of Momo? With his intelligence, bluntness, and how analytical he is… But mostly Todobaku.

Norman is the hardest one to pair up with… I feel like no one in BNHA really does him justice. He’s insanely intelligent and great at strategy. He also can be bubbly and upbeat. That makes me think Momo. Butttt I’ve actually found myself comparing Norman to Uraraka in a lot of ways? Uraraka wants to be like Deku like Norman wants to be like Emma. A lot of his motivation comes from wanting to be like her. And he likes her. But he’s self-sacrificing too… and also has an immoral side though… Ah Norman’s such a complex character it’s too hard.

“[…] However they are shocked to find Conny is dead and the house is actually a farm where they are being bred and harvested to become food for Demonic creatures. To make matters worse, Isabella, the mama and caretaker of the kids is in allegiance with the demons. ”

Hi there, I’m Rachel! Everyone keeps messaging me and asking me “what was your secret to losing weight?” so I decided to make this post. This is how I was able to lose 40 pounds in 2 months with almost no exercise or change in diet.

A few months ago, my friend who’s studying to becoming a dietician told me about a fruit from Southeast Asia called Garcinia Cambogia. The fruit increases your metabolism & helps slightly suppress your appetite so you don’t overeat. Despite feeling skeptical I decided to try it. I ordered a pure extract of the fruit online. Now I’m able to eat the same food, and burn more fat at the same time. This is what I do every morning: mix the supplement with lemon water + honey to jumpstart my metabolism for the day, then drink it once more before dinner. That’s it. I ate the same way as before, worked out once a week & my fat melted away like butter. The way I see it, if it worked for me.. it can work for anybody.

Disclaimer: I am only speaking for myself and my experiences within Christianity. Though some of these points may apply to other ex-faiths, I am not knowledgeable enough to talk about them all. It would be really helpful to see other lists like this for ex-mormons/ex-muslims/ex-cult/ex-moonies/ex-catholics and others, however that’s not my place to do so! 

First off, what is religious trauma?

Religious trauma is mainly defined as resulting from an authoritarian, dogmatic religion and the act of leaving the religion and unlearning/coping with the harmful doctrines

However, spiritual abuse will almost always result in a variety of different forms of abuse including, but not limited to: child abuse, emotional abuse, physical abuse, sexual abuse, domestic abuse and neglect 

Long lasting side affects can result in: suppression of normal child development, damage to normal thinking and feeling abilities, long-term physical and mental health problems, confusion, poor critical thinking ability, negative beliefs about self-ability and self-worth, black and white thinking, perfectionism, difficulty with decision-making, depression, anxiety, anger, grief, loneliness, difficulty with pleasure, loss of meaning, loss of social network, family rupture, social awkwardness, sexual difficulty, behind schedule on developmental tasks, unfamiliarity with secular world; “fish out of water” feelings, difficulty belonging, information gaps (e.g. evolution, modern art, music)

(For a better understanding, I would advise you to read the information on this website. It is possible that not everyone who has experienced spiritual abuse will develop religious trauma syndrome and I am not a psychologist, however it is the most helpful way of detailing the detrimental affects of dealing with this specific kind of abuse. Feel free to correct me if i made any errors with this statement!)  

Which brings us to the main point. How do you have a safe dialogue with someone who has been religiously abused? 

There is a gross lack of resources out there for religious trauma, and because of this there is a large amount of ignorance. This post is mainly centered around ex-christian interaction with practicing Christians, though it can be applied to other areas. Please note that this reference list comes from several personal conversations and experiences, so it may not be relatable to everyone. 

Someone sharing their trauma with you is a serious thing. If someone chooses to confide in you, that normally means they have a great amount of trust in you and are looking for security, acceptance and love.  

‘‘You just had a bad experience with the church!’‘

Why is this harmful?: 

It’s dismissing the trauma that someone has personally experienced and witnessed. Most times this will come from someone who feels threatened by the notion that faith can be a perpetrator of abuse. Saying this gives the distinct impression that you could care less about what the person has experienced. It’s a good way to ensure that the person confiding in you never shares anything personal with you ever again. Someone who has spent the majority of their life centered around faith has probably been to more churches than you have. 

‘‘Not all Christians are like that!’‘

Why is this harmful?:

This one is the most common. Again, it dismisses the experiences of the person confiding in you. It’s similar to the phrase ‘’not all men’’ in the way that it jumps to the defense of the abusive party, assuming you are attacking the majority. The person confiding in you knows that all Christians are not the same. It’s also fair to mention that the majority of ‘’good’’ Christians are viewed by more dogmatic sects as ‘’false’’ Christians. 

‘‘______ aren’t true Christians!’‘

Why is this harmful?:

This isn’t helpful. Instead of acknowledging that people who share your faith can be toxic, it’s simply discrediting them and shoving them under a rug. Authoritative religious leaders will do the exact same thing, dismissing acts by more liberal Christians as ungodly and sinful. 

‘’God loves you and would never hurt you!’’    

Why is this harmful?:

Most people who have experienced religious trauma have been terrorized by the concept of God. Disobedience is avoided out of the fear of God bringing harm to them or their loved ones. God’s ‘’love’’ is similar to that of an abusive father or spouse. In most deconversions, even when belief is gone there is still a fundamental fear of God. The image of a kind God is a foreign concept.

‘‘You should try _____ instead!’‘

Why is this harmful?:

Spiritually abused people can either be incredibly defensive against all forms of religion or extremely susceptible to be pulled back into an abusive religion while trying to heal from their previous one. If someone is visibly alarmed by religious topics, they don’t want to talk about them. 

‘‘Why do you hate Christians???’‘

Why is this harmful?:

Traumatized people have a right to talk about their abuse just like you have the right to talk about your beliefs. If you care about improving your faith, there should be an interest in hearing the experiences of those who have been spiritually abused without acting like you are being directly attacked. Calling out an abusive system and the abusers inside the system does not include the people who are suffering inside the system or trying their best to reform it (though some ex-religious people may want nothing to do with any kind of church reform). 

‘‘If you think Christianity is bad, then what about ____ ? Are you going to ignore that???’‘ 

Coming from the perspective of a Westerner, America is very centered on Christianity because we are a majority Christian nation. People who have broken away from Christianity will mainly focus on Christianity because that’s their experience and what they’re knowledgeable enough to talk about. However, it’s our job as ex-religious people to stand in solidarity with other ex-religious people and to learn about their struggles. Focusing on one abuse does not mean that you do not care about the others. 

Other Topics:

Racism, homophobia, transphobia and misogyny are incredibly prevalent in the church. Bending over backwards to prove that the Bible doesn’t approve of any of these things is most times neither helpful or wanted, though the intention can be well-meaning. 

So, what should I say?

The proper way to start a dialogue with an ex-religious person is what you should do for any abuse or trauma victim. 

Listen to them just like you would anyone else!