stop the world,

and I’m already exhausted. Is it okay for a girl to hibernate for a hour or two, and sleep the day away with this gorgeous sunny weather? Please say yes.

I’m either turning into a chick or… yeah no that’s the only explanation.

She grabbed another tortilla chip and dip and leaned back into the soft fabric of the couch. She had to admit that this was turning out nicer than she imagined, spending this bit of time with Ryder. Sure, he was goofy and annoyed her more times than not, but this was truly not as bad as it could’ve been. It also helped that they were drinking, and that they had yet to bring up the thing that was clearly buzzing over them.

Kitty narrowed her eyes at his reference to Call of Duty and Halo, but realized he kind of had the right idea. “Yeah, actually, it is kind of like that, except you have to find the variation. Like, I guess your idea of Halo and Call of Duty would be, say, pants, or the standard, and then you have to figure out what kind of pants are going to be in style, and what’s going to make them stand out.”

But then she had to go and bring it up, because she was Kitty Wilde, and because she hated pink elephants lingering in the air. And because there was only so long they could go on ignoring this before it just needed to be talked about. So why not deal with it now?

His answer was… well, it was sweet. Almost irritatingly so. Because he could’ve easily let her brood on her own or let her drown in the care and overbearingness of Marley and Sam watching over her, and with the whole Brittany thing, he could’ve leaned on Marley to deal with it, but he came here. And she really, really appreciated that, even if she never actually showed that.

Sighing, Kitty leaned forward and poured herself some more whiskey before turning back to Ryder. “Thank you,” she said simply, trying to figure out the right words to continue. Swirling the amber liquour in her glass, her eyes met his. “It’s almost funny, you know?” she said, running a hand through her hair. “Like in a morbid, and angry kind of way.” She slowly sipped her drink, making a face at the burn, which burned less and less the more she drank.

“I just need to acknowledge it for a second, okay? I’ve been ignoring it for so long that it’s starting to feel like this weight on my chest and I just need it gone.And then we can go back to ignoring it and pretending to run away to Mexico and getting so stupidly drunk. Because…” she sniffled, her eyes welling with tears. She clenched her fist, trying to keep them at bay, but it was of no use.

“Brittany has cancer and it’s so fucking stupid that someone as special as her has to deal with something as shitty as that. And then my boyfriend, or…” Kitty cleared her throat and shook her head. “Ex,” she continued dryly. “Completely ruined everything I thought was true, and tried to placate me with the fact that I was supposed to know we weren’t truly in love in the five years we were together, like I somehow should’ve expected this from him. And I guess I should have, but right under my nose? I would rather have been dumped. Like, screw him for that. Screw him. And I know, I know the fact that it was public was my fault, I know, but everything else? Was that seriously fair?“

“Oh right, I see.” He nodded, understanding her fashion explanations more now that he had a video games equivalent to compare it to. “Well I still could never do your job, clothes and fashion are definitely not my strong point. I’m just happy with my jeans and hoodie combinations most of the time.”

Ryder didn’t blame Kitty for bringing the conversation up that they’d both clearly been avoiding. It was one that needed to be talked about, even if it would hurt more than he’d like it to. He needed to face this like a twenty four year old instead of running away and Kitty was forcing him to do just that.

He watched as she poured herself another drink before she looked up to meet his eyes. He stayed quiet, finishing off his own drink before refilling it. There was no way he could be sober if they were actually having this conversation so the quicker the alcohol kicked in, the better. “No worries.” Ryder mumbled, taking a sip of his newly filled glass.

Ryder stayed quiet as he listened to Kitty speak. He wanted to just hug her tight and not let her go, wanting to protect her from the world and everyone in it. He knew she was on the verge of crying and he just had no idea what he was supposed to do. If it was Marley opposite him, then he would have hugged her without a second doubt. But this was Kitty and he had no idea if they were even in a place where it wouldn’t be weird for him to hug her.

“I agree, Britt is just amazing. She didn’t deserve this, not that anyone does, but she’s… yeah like you said, she’s special.” Ryder agreed, taking another big gulp of his drink. He loved all his friends and seeing someone like Britt suffer with this wasn’t going to be easy, not by any stretch of the imagination.

“No, of course it wasn’t fair.” He answered immediately, shaking his head at her. “Whether you were with him for five weeks or five years is irrelevant, no-one deserves to be cheated on. It’s not cool and he should have ended things with you before anything happened with Rachel.” That was probably pointing out the obvious but he wasn’t sure what else to say. “That was a dick move, and so was the whole expectation part too. I obviously don’t know the exact details of your relationship, but I definitely don’t think it’s fair. You deserve a lot better.”