This account died tbh
However I think I might use it to vent about how one of my friends thinks my relationship is entirely his business and how we basically should only exist to please him đ¤ˇđźââď¸

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@ryanrossisstraight
This account died tbh
However I think I might use it to vent about how one of my friends thinks my relationship is entirely his business and how we basically should only exist to please him đ¤ˇđźââď¸

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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If u see me speeding down the highway doing 90 and I look like I am having an exorcism⌠mind ur own business. I am absolutely losing my shit to MCRâs ENTIRE discography⌠I am currently being POSSESSED by Gerardâs terrible teal roots from 2004 and Ray Toroâs God-like guitar solos⌠itâs a therapy session if u will⌠might drive my car into my house⌠might rob a bank⌠I dunno⌠I hear the opening to âYou Know What They Do To Guys Like Us In Prisonâ and I black out a littleâŚÂ
every year around christmas me and my grandma play this fun family game called âmaybe you want to put jesus in your room instead, sweetie? :)â. now, itâs important to note that the jesus referred to in our game is not actually the real jesus christ, but instead a wooden figure i made in 2011 that has an uncanny resemblance to the lord and savior himself
so what happens is that i place jesus in our living room, and my grandma smiles and asks me if i donât want to decorate my room with him instead. i ask her in return if she thinks my jesus figure is ugly (which he is), but she reassures me that this is not the case. however, a couple of days later jesus mysteriously disappears from our living room, and appear in my room instead
now, the real jesus christ might have been able to perform a miracle like this, but please remember that the jesus in our story is only a figure made out of wood. he can not move on his own, so i think we can safely say that my grandma is the prime suspect here
the first year i would often confront my grandma about this, but she would always make up an excuse and never straight up tell me she moved him because heâs so ugly itâs an embarrassment to the family
eventually i grew tired of her lies, so now we only move jesus around in silence. one second heâs in the living room, the next heâs back in my room. in a way i think this adds an extra element of excitement to the holiday season, because you never know for sure when jesus is going to be moved again
and so it begins..
i was not fucking ready for this photograph
⌠this photo makes the whole thing so much better and I cannot stop laughing help I need oxygen
I am literally the worst kind of human

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me: hey how long is this thing going to last
someone: haha you just want to know when youâre off the hook
me: hah
me: (actually i just need to allocate the right expectations and backlog of energy and make sure the rest of my day falls in good accordance with it so that i donât feel time-crunched and propel myself into a hysteria because if i donât know how long this thing lasts or when it ends i canât possibly know when literally anything else starts and my entire life becomes an unraveled realm of anarchy with no rhyme or reason and how is that not terrifying to you)
me: hey how long will this take
someone: oh like twenty minutes
me: ok
*an hour later*
me: *clinging to every learned social skill i can think of with the desperate hope my distress and exhaustion doesnât show*
someone: hey weâre almost done donât be so crabby
me: *smiling* *internally screaming at this SENSELESS CHAOS*
someone: hey do you want to do [involving time-consuming thing]
me: hey that sounds fun! when were you thinking?
someone: oh weâre doing it right now
me: oh. like. now-now? like right now. like you want me to stop what iâm doing and get up and do this thing with you, suddenly, with thirty seconds of warning. now. like this second. immediately. now?
this feeling is so real
I know this pain
No suicidal shit but this world is tiring and I wish I had no part in it
WAKE. UP.
Never Again is right now! Â Wake up and fight back!
hot take: moms need to learn how to listen to and comfort their daughters without making everything about their own traumas
a classic example
daughter: hey this thing you do bothers me very much and i wish you wouldnât do it
mom: well my parents abused me and im not even as bad as they were and i had to sit through it so you gotta sit through whatever i do to you too
a common variant
mom: well iâm having a really hard time right now and you know that iâm doing my best and that i didnât mean to hurt you ergo you are in fact the asshole for asking me to consider your feelings and change my behavior during this hard hard time iâm having
least favorite
mom: fine. youâre right and iâm wrong and iâm a horrible person. there. are you happy now?
see also
mom: you canât be mad at me. youâre not allowed to be mad at me. i canât stand it.
An addition after she has said at least one of the previous:
mom: why donât you ever talk to me! Nobody ever talks to me
One of the mains:
Mom: *after having a scary experience* Why are you crying? Thereâs no reason for you to be so upset!
A no less common, but often forgotten variant:
Daughter: this person hurt me.
Mom: you must have provoked them somehow! You have to start paying more attention to what you say/do/somehow mysteriously might imply/think!!

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Some flowers for anyone not feeling their best today
It is refreshing to see a congresswoman, who is unencumbered by corporate cash, speak truth to power.
what a time to be alive
Iâm so confused and laughing so hard like
What?!??!!!
Iâm actually laughing so fucking hard right now.
Read the article and it would seem the upset is because (minor spoilers) Bruce Wayne adopts Dick Grayson and then Dick finds out that the Batcave is beneath Wayne Manor and comments âWow! Batman lives in Bruce Wayneâs basement!â (Or something to that affect) and then later when Batman asks Dick to come with him in the batmobile Dick is worried about leaving without âasking his Dad, Bruce Wayneâ so Batman tells him that Bruce Wayne and Batman have joint custody of him so itâs ok. And Dick Grayson, an orphan who until recently didnât have one dad, is overjoyed to find out that he now has two!
People are offended because Batman is in a gay relationship with himself Iâm dying
LeGoBaTman
Phantom! At the opera
ah, yes, but what a shame, what a shame the poor groomâs bride is there, inside my mind
Theory Time
The reason endermen donât like it when you look at them is because they communicate telepathically with one another by locking eyes! Humans are absolutely not designed to do this so when we look at them we are accidentally projecting all of our thoughts into them at the same time and it hurts :(
But like, since the player is not of the Minecraft world, the player is just what the use to explore it, what if itâs like:
Enderman: *looks at playerâs eyes*
Player: 01010010 01100001 00100000 01110010 01100001 00100000 01010010 01100001 01110011 01110000 01110101 01110100 01101001 01101110 00100000 01101100 01101111 01110110 01100101 01110010 00100000 01101111 01100110 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100101 00100000 01010010 01110101 01110011 01110011 01101001 01100001 01101110 00100000 01110001 01110101 01100101 01100101 01101110 00100000 01101111 01101000 00100000 01100110 01110101 01100011 01101011 00100000 01100001 01101110 00100000 01100101 01101110 01100100 01100101 01110010 01101101 01100001 01101110
Enderman: oh ok *attacks player*

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I found a pile of Polaroidâs in the crates of a record shop. They were sexy sexy looking back. From a night that time forgot.
lilo was PEAK weird little girl representation like. all âweirdâ disney characters just fall under quirky cute no lilo was IT. she gave peanut butter sandwiches to a FISH because IT CONTROLLED THE WEATHER. the range
she made her dolls head too big so she created a scenario where a bug planted eggs in its ear and the dolls upset because it only has a few more days to live. no other character on earth has even come close to weird girl culture like lilo she did that for us