Quick, Call The Cops!

This morning as I walked my dog, I was listening to a great podcast called Give Theory a Chanceand reflecting on my experience so far with university and more specifically the sociology program.  With it being a podcast about theory naturally my mind drifted towards what I who I have engaged with and under what context this occurred.  The episodes I heard while controlling my 80lb canine were…

Mental Health and Society

I spent years practicing Cognitive Behaviour Therapy methods as well as mindfulness in my experience with mental health “struggles.”  Though some methods were helpful in the short-term, there was much that bothered me about the ideals and over arching beliefs that I perceive to be intrinsic in these methods.  The responsibility squarely on the individual and the assumption that thought patterns…

I deleted all of my old posts for my old blog today.  They don’t apply to me any longer and I disagree with most of the “points” I made while writing them.  I deleted them all.  Now what?  Now I start a new project that will entail all of my thoughts as I wander through this maze of getting my honours degree in Sociology.  There will be questions, there will be confusion, there will be…

Nice to make your acquaintance….

Those who know me know that getting to close to me is a near impossible task.  I have many acquaintances and get along well with many people, but I am still alienated from my true self.  I adapt to what will make others comfortable and refrain from voicing concerns that I may have.  I set up tall walls that would make Trump jealous and set them up in increasingly taller segments.  These are facts…

After a recent conversation about intimacy, I have taken to really seeing where my thoughts go.  I’m one who shuts down easily.  I disappear into analysis and thoughts and find it quite difficult to return.  It can be both a frightening and frustrating place to exist, but yet I find myself there more often than I’d like to.  It can start with a simple, innocent thought which I investigate and…

Examination of…

As classes wind down, exam period rears its head just beyond the horizon.I’ve finished the papers and quizzes and am beginning to prepare for the dreaded finals. Here is where hair gets pulled out, sleep is elusive, and my distraction level away from family rises. It is not the grades that I need as I am doing quite well at that game, but it is a much darker and destructive problem that I have. I…

Growing up I was pretty decent in some sports.  I was successful in curling, volleyball, and cross country running.  I could often keep up in many sports.  I often downplayed my part in this success, attributing a lot of it to luck or lack of ability of the competitors.  I was very consistent in my shot making in curling and often called some very smart and strategic shots as a skip, but with…

Who am I?  Who am I, when life changes?  Who am I when the situations change?  Identity seems to be an every changing fight to understand what I mean in this cross section of history, biography, and social framework.  What is our identity anchored too and does it persist over time and situation, or does it change, adapt, and transform?  My identity is deeply linked to my mental health and when I…

It’s Not Insecurity, It’s Anxiety

There is an aspect of my life that I hate admitting.  We all know that we have thousands of thoughts a day, most come and go.  For me, suffering from Generalized Anxiety Disorder and Major Depressive Disorder, those thoughts are not easy to let go of.  Both of these disorders tend to cause the sufferer to be plagued with negative thoughts and often our actions/outcomes tend to reinforce those…

It was a tremendously hard year back when I was 16. Life seemed like such a soul sucking thing and I was growing tired of it. My best friend of a million years had taken his own life in March and now it was the cold, dark days of winter in small town Manitoba. There was a guilt pent up inside me for not being able to save my friend and a stomach churning feeling of worthlessness and dread of the…