I'll steal yo mans dick

got a masters degree in being ignored

looks like someone got referred to as et al on their paper LMAO

When i read books alone and it gets to a good part it looks like I’m having a freaking seizure

Thanks for the quote, gremlin.

If your fic is 1000 words long, you can’t tag it slow burn. It’s not slow burn. That is a matchstick. And this is my personal bias here but if those motherfuckers you’re writing experience significant forward momentum in their relationship in under 5k words, then that is just a regular old burn. Slow burn should be borderline intolerable and a mistake to start reading at 2 in the morning.

If the fic doesn’t have multiple scenes where two people almost kiss but then don’t because of a contrived interruption that they are both grateful for and angry about, until the desperate reader is forced every other paragraph to mutter, “this is fucking ridiculous, this is bullshit, I’m so fucking mad, please update sooooooooooon,” then it isn’t a slow burn. It is a romance and that is a lovely thing but. Slow burns should feel like being set on fire unto your death but the tinder is people not kissing and the spark is people who don’t admit they love each other and the whole thing is. You know. Slow.

I once read a slow burn where the main pairing didn’t even speak to each other ontil 80k words in

This is the funniest fucking thing I’ve ever read and the only true slow burn fic

I’m at mcdonalds and this teenage boy just asked his friend why he was wearing a superman shirt with a batman hat and he said “they’re boyfriends you asshole” the children………… are our future perhaps

ppl are implying this is fake and I won’t try to convince u bc idc but I gotta ask: do u think if I wanted to make something up it would be a story where I’m sitting at mcdonalds alone and eavesdropping on teenagers when one of them said something funny? do u really think that’s the flattering picture of myself I wish to present? sad nosy lady at mcdonalds?

my advice for a haunting? real solid 100% foolproof Ghost Advice™? every time something creepy happens, turn in the direction of whatever it was, pause a moment, then slowly lick ur lips and say “…do that again” in ur most seductive voice. the ghost will feel very awkward and leave immediately. 

have any of yall had a weird last few weeks or is that just me & everyone i know irl? bc theres something in the air i Swear