u cant just take a shit while mambo no.5 is playin

Something bad has been happening to me lately. I keep saying “oh a puppy” when i see something i find cute. I was on a walk on the cliffs and I saw a slug and said it because i thought I was alone, but then an old lady on her walk teleported behind me and said “Im afraid not…”

my existentialism professor once showed us this meme and then said softly “reintarnation” and started laughing for about 5 minutes straight but he was laughing so softly we thought he was crying and didn’t know what to do about it

just clownloaded a gigglebyte of silly images

just frownloaded a terrorfright of SCARY images

just fucked my sexy wife and took a fat shit

If i were mr beast id post my cock leaking pre and then disappear forever

joe biden has dropped out of the 2024 US presidential race

One of my more outwardly baffling autistic traits is that often I will fully know that you're being sarcastic or joking & I'll just keep talking. I'll respond to it in earnest thinking I'm continuing the bit but I do it too flatly and everybody knows I'm autistic so they'll stop and be like hey that was a joke & I'm like I know

a beautiful woman named excessive heat warning keeps messaging me on my phone