russjmnz

You were the most important subject I've ever had. The most beautiful concrete noun I've ever gazed at. I could come up with 99 superlative adjectives to describe your eyes and 99 more adverbs to describe your movement. You were the loveliest third person pronoun I've ever referred to. No complex sentence had ever been more pefect for each other than you and me. I was there as your independent clause when you needed someone to lean on. I was but a broken phrase until you came along to complete me. We used to talk for hours on end using just future tenses. I used to rely on present perfect progressives when I write letters for you and use the simple present to affirm my love for you. Now I only talk about you using past tenses but the pain you have left behind deserves the present perfect. I thought you were the perfect conjunction to make my sentence better until I realized that I was writing a run-on sentence for years. I guess we just cannot fight the law of brevity. We became compound sentences until we decided to remove the coordinating conjunction between us. But how could I function as a complete thought when my subject was always you? What would be the sense of writing a beautiful predicate without you? I thought we would discover the pragmatics of life together. Now, I roam aimlessly without a syntax to follow. As I relearn the phonetics of love, let me tell you that your name will always be the saddest word in my lexicon.

Love is the imaginary friend I have to outgrow. A childhood illusion of companion to replace the fear of being alone. A product of imagination to survive loneliness. I would gladly trade my emotions for emptiness just to remove this pain.

I feel most inadequate when I think of you.