raatola @ruoto - Tumblr Blog

So the good news is that i don't seem to care about my obsessions (and by extension compulsions) much anymore.

The bad news is that i can't seem to care about much of anything anymore.

#oops all depression #ocd #year of ocd flare ends in colossal burnout #might care about morality again in like 5 years /j

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One of the most depressing constants in my life is not being able to make art solely because I don't have the executive function for it.

#it would probably help me so much mentally to express myself #feels like my brain is becoming mush because i can never get anything out of it #shit just happens now what's the point of even trying to process it #it's been like a decade since finishing art felt possible #can't draw about depression? get more depressed idiot #i have all the tools to be an artist #but i can't do it

banchie

i've been phasing the phrase 'google it' out of my vocabulary and going back to 'look it up'. fuck you youve lost your generic trademark privileges

ruoto

There's no good word for it in finnish and it's pissing me off 😩

gloomsday

sent this message to my coworker today and he sent me this screenshot with microsoft teams's suggested replies... incredible 10/10 no notes.

tonight's doodles meow

#animal death #cw animal death #vent art #art #sketch #doodle #tw animal death #tw medication #cw medication #tw blood #cw blood #Spotify

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autistobrat

this too shall pass but the fuck was that for

Tfw the compulsion dissappears overnight but that's just not right so you realllly want to trigger it again

#tw ocd trigger #ocd

Always liked this one but it was a bit intense to post anywhere

+ more post-its from the same day I think

#vent art #art #tw sh #tw sh implied #sona art #tw blood #i think it's just meant to be tears but #irl people would super recognize me by the brand of post it note if they were to be on vent art tumblr

What the fuck do you even do when your moral ocd latches onto things that are technically valid concerns

#moral ocd #ocd

sona i have minimal attachment to but is really fun to draw

#art #traditional art #doodle #ruoto #oc art #sona art

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From a year ago but I still really like it?

Probably drawn during a battle with some horrible uni assignment.

#art #vent art #eyestrain #eye strain #tw eyestrain #tw skin picking #cw blood

From like 2 years ago now??? Goddamn

I always really liked this one even though it's just a doodle

Always felt kinda sad that I "couldn't post it" since it's so gloomy

TW sh ->

#art #vent art #tw sh #tw sh implied #tw sui ideation #intrusive thoughts #ms paint #digital art

I deactivated my instagram so now I'm tempted to ask tumblr about any moral dilemmas i may have (that may or may not just be ocd) but i know tumblr would be at least as insane about morals as I am so I'm trying to hold off

#moral ocd #ocd

I am capable of coming up with sins you never even considered

#moral ocd #tw ocd trigger #religious ocd

ruoto

moral (scrupulosity) ocd paired w a genuine desire to be an activist is some sort of divine punishment

ruoto

Wait i forgot some people have very literal ocd about divine punishments i did NOT mean that literally

#religious ocd #i often liken my ocd to a fear of god #i am an atheist but the fear works similarly #i will be judged and i must repent for my sins #tw religion #tw religious trauma

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moral (scrupulosity) ocd paired w a genuine desire to be an activist is some sort of divine punishment

#ocd #moral ocd #it does not make me more moral #just incapable of managing my resources #until i burn out so bad i can't do shit #or perhaps try to kms because i think i'm evil #this helps no one #tw sui talk

kaengpil

i saw the tv glow 🏳️‍⚧️

posting this here as well since it got 26k+ likes on twitter and 50k+ likes on tiktok. i’m so glad this edit resonated with people. my trans brothers sisters and siblings i love you so much <3 there is still time.

#the electric chair felt oddly specific to me too #big fan of transfem jax <3

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raatola