Making a list of contagion fetish fics yhat I like
https://www.sneezefetishforum.com/topic/80366-influenza-inn-a-bed-breakfast-adventure/

Kiana Khansmith
Claire Keane

Love Begins
hello vonnie
Xuebing Du
Misplaced Lens Cap
we're not kids anymore.

shark vs the universe

Monterey Bay Aquarium
trying on a metaphor
Cosmic Funnies
Cosimo Galluzzi
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
One Nice Bug Per Day
cherry valley forever

â
tumblr dot com

PR's Tumblrdome
Aqua Utopiaď˝ćľˇăŽĺşă§č¨ćśăç´Ąă

seen from Russia
seen from China
seen from TĂźrkiye

seen from Malaysia

seen from Malaysia

seen from United States

seen from Croatia
seen from United States

seen from Ecuador

seen from United States

seen from Hungary
seen from United States
seen from Malaysia

seen from Poland

seen from Malaysia
seen from United States

seen from Malaysia

seen from United States

seen from United States
seen from United Kingdom
@runnynnose
Making a list of contagion fetish fics yhat I like
https://www.sneezefetishforum.com/topic/80366-influenza-inn-a-bed-breakfast-adventure/

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Going to an upscale event with a date who is sick and is coughing and sneezing into their hands the entire night and then touching you and everything around them and you know what? You might as well just kiss them at this point
Going to an upscale event with a date who is sick and is coughing and sneezing into their hands the entire night and then touching you and everything around them and you know what? You might as well just kiss them at this point
At long last, the doodles of those lovely Black characters yâall sent me!
Iâm especially proud of MelâŚ
your roommate came down with a nasty cold a few days ago. you almost never get sick, so you were confident you wouldnât catch it from her. you even playfully brag to her about how you havenât been sick in years and how she probably doesnât even have to bother covering her frequent coughs and sneezes.
but then you wake up with a little tickle in your throat, and throughout the day your nose starts getting runny. you keep sniffling, but it doesnât do much other than give you a dull buzzing feeling deep in your nose.
you have to sneeze, but you almost never sneeze. if you give in and let a sneeze out, you can no longer deny that you might be catching your roommateâs cold after all.
by bedtime, youâre sniffling every other minute, rubbing your nostrils with the back of your hand, but it still isnât enough to stave off that persistent buzzing.
you allow yourself just one sneeze, but only one. and youâll pinch your nose, stifling it quietly, so your roommate doesnât hear.
the sneeze is a little wetter and a lot stronger than you were expecting. you barely manage to stifle it.
hngh-choo
youâre still sniffling. your nose just wonât stop running, and before you can talk yourself out of it youâre coaxing another sneeze out on purpose, powerful but again stifled through pinched nostrils.
hxch-choo
just one more, you tell yourself. then my nose will stop nagging me.
HXXCHH-choo
you canât deny youâve caught your roommateâs cold anymore, not when the sneezes are so powerful it almost hurts to stifle them.
but youâre too embarrassed to let your roommate know that you couldnât help but catch her sniffly, sneezy, contagious, monster of a cold. so you keep stifling, over and over. first with fingers pinching your nose, but eventually moving to just smothering the sneezes into your t-shirt because theyâre so strong.
at one point you consider sneaking the box of tissues from the bathroom to blow your nose, but if your roommate notices theyâre missing, sheâll know exactly what youâve been doing all night. so you opt to use your t shirt instead for a powerful wet blow. you hope she didnât hear you.
as you wipe your nose with the soft cotton fabric, your nostrils twitch and flare again, and before you can reason with yourself to stay quiet and preserve your pride, you give into a totally unstifled, wrenching,wet sneeze that echoes off your bedroom walls in the quiet house you share.
you hold your breath⌠are you getting away with that one?
âBLESS you!â
no, itâs over. you caught your roommateâs nasty cold, and she knows it.

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one moment of silence please for all the sickfics on ao3 that weâre never going to find bc theyâre not tagged as sickfic
Hereâs how to find sickfics not tagged as sickfic:
In google, type in âsite:archiveofourown.org/worksâ. This will limit all search results to the Ao3 website. The â/worksâ means only actual fics will pop up, rather than tag pages.Â
Next, in the work box put the full fandom name, as Ao3 lists it, in parentheses. I say put the full fandom name so that search results wonât include fics where the fandom is offhandedly mentioned.
Finally, try some sick keywordsâfor example, âsneezeâ, âsickâ, âcoughâ, âfeverâ. Youâre gonna get strays from people using these words casually, but this can be mitigated by combining multiple search terms. When I use this method and click into a fic, I control+f the words to see what context theyâre in to check if itâs actually a sickfic.
Letâs say I want to search for Witcher sickfics. This is what I would type into google (including the parentheses):
site:archiveofourown.org/works âThe Witcher (TV)â âsickâ âfeverâ âcoughâ
This will search the website Archive of Our Own for all works that have the keywords âThe Witcher (TV)â âsickâ âfeverâ âcoughâ, regardless of how the fic is tagged. Hopefully, this would bring up some fics otherwise unfound :D
Reblog in case I ever want to use it.
Do you like messy colds? ;)
i love being a pervert online with all of you
CanâtâŚstopâŚHEEESSCHHHEEWWW!
(More from my sneezy cold!) đ¤§đ¤§đ¤§
uh oh. i got caught in the rain in just my little croptop and got soaked through, even my tissues and handkerchief are sodden! i hope these sneezes don't mean i'm catching a cold...

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Do other kink communities have a similar culture to us on snzblr? Ive always just had such a morbid curiousity on this topic. Referring to it as "The Kink" feels so scandalous, do other communities do this? What about more socially accepted kinks, is it less weird?
untitled
mel/sevika (f/f, arcane)
whaaatt..? I wrote sneezefic?
lol. have some melvika y'all, and thank you to @capedcaretaker for inspiring me on this one!! đ
1.9k // established relationship // light mess // stubborn sick mel + soft sev
âDonât.âÂ
Melâs voice is steely, downright cold even. She doesnât look up from the papers spread across her desk, just continues writing with her silver-tipped pen as though Sevika isnât there. But behind the armor of her tone, Sevika can hear it. A hint of a rasp, the slightly rounded consonants from a steadily-growing stuffy nose.Â
And thatâs enough to have Sevika striding into the office despite her loverâs warning.Â
âI havenât said anything,â Sevika notes, coming over to Melâs desk. She leans against the side of it, crosses her arms. She looks down at Melâs washed-out complexion, her nose thatâs going red around the nostrils, and frowns.Â
âI know what youâre going to say,â Mel sighs, setting aside her pen. She brushes her wrist under her nose, an unconscious gesture giving her away, and tips her face up to meet Sevikaâs gaze. Something constricts in Sevikaâs chest when she takes in the dull gleam to Melâs eyes, the purplish bags underneath contrasting with the green of them.Â
âAnd Iâm fine,â Mel adds, leaning back in her chair, and glaring at Sevika with a ferocity that has been known to make grown men cower. Sevika doesnât blink. âSo you can stop hovering, or worrying, or suggesting I stop working, or whatever it is you came to fuss about.âÂ
If Sevika didnât know that Mel is on the edge of a headcold, and that colds always make her lover cranky, she might be more irritated at the callousness of her tone.Â
As it is, she just reaches out, tucks a wayward wisp of a curl behind Melâs ear. Lets her fingers linger a moment against Melâs cheek, trying â perhaps not so subtly â to check her temperature.Â
âYouâve been sniffling and sneezing all morning,â Sevika says, raising an eyebrow. âI could hear you even down the hall.âÂ
âItâs drafty in here,â Mel retorts, briefly bringing a hand up to pinch the bridge of her nose. A headache too then, Sevika notes, filing away the information for later. âAnd dusty, perhaps. Iâll have to speak to the staff. Get it cleaned properly.âÂ
âRight,â Sevika says slowly, disbelief dripping in every syllable. âDusty.â She looks around at the gleaming office that doesnât have so much as a paperclip out of place and gives Mel a dry look.Â
Mel doesnât back down. âDonât look at me like that,â she snaps. âI know when itâs dusty in here. Some of us actually pay attention to such things.âÂ
Sevika raises both her eyebrows at the dig, smirking a little. âCareful, princess. You start getting snippy with me and Iâm going to think you need a nap.âÂ
âDonât patronize me.âÂ
âDonât be rude to me just because youâre not feeling well,â Sevika retorts, matching Melâs stubbornness. âItâs not gonna work, baby. Youâre getting sick, and you need someone to tell you to rest. And I will, even if you decide to be a little shit about it.âÂ
âI am not sick!â Mel protests, although Sevika has a feeling sheâs fighting herself more than Sevika at this point.Â
Sevika watches quietly as Melâs reddened nostrils flare and her expression pinches, an itch clearly blooming in her nose.Â
âRight. Thatâs why you definitely donât need to sneeze right now,â Sevika smirks, watching Mel furiously try to fight her own reflexes.Â
Mel rubs her nose hard against the underside of her wrist and sniffles, producing a wet noise that makes Sevika wince slightly in sympathy. But the action obviously does nothing to abate the tickle, and Melâs dark, kohl-accented eyelashes flutter despite herself, her eyes narrowing to slits and her lips parting as the sneeze builds.Â
âIâm not going to-uuhhâŚtoâŚhhihhââ Mel tries to say, but her words dissolve into hitching breaths, her chest heaving with tiny âhihâhihhâ!â of breaths that she is obviously trying to suppress.Â
âFor fuckâs sake, just sneeze, baby,â Sevika groans, a little concern slipping into her voice as she continues to watch Mel painfully fight her own body. She leans forward and runs her thumb down the straight, shapely bridge of Melâs nose, tracing around her nostrils at the tip and thumbing away the few drops of moisture that have accumulated underneath.Â
The touch sends Mel over the edge immediately. Sevika hasnât even pulled her hand away before Mel is pitching forward with an explosive, urgent âhiiIITSCHHiew!!â.Â
The spray lands damply on Sevikaâs hand but she doesnât mind, just grins approvingly at Mel finally giving into the urge. Sevika scoots closer, rubbing circles between Melâs shoulderblades as she shudders through the rest of the fit.Â
âHhhâih'YISHhew! âiiscchh! iiTSCHHhh! huhâŚhhuhhhâESCHHuu!...sNFâŚihhâyyshhiuu!...ugh.âÂ
Mel manages to get her hands up for the sneezes that follow, bending over into her cupped palms as she releases each itchy-sounding explosion. She groans into her hands when she finishes, her urgent, wet sniffles giving Sevika enough indication that she desperately needs a handkerchief.Â
Sevika fishes the bandana out of her back pocket that she habitually carries now, more for Melâs sake than her own, and hands it over.Â
âBless you, sweetheart,â Sevika says, her voice tender now, still rubbing slow, soothing circles on Melâs back. âYou needed that.âÂ
Mel gives a stuffy sigh into the cloth pressed to her face, sniffling again and giving a polite, quiet blow that obviously does nothing to clear her nose.Â
âExcuse mâbe,â Mel mutters, wiping her nose again and setting the bandana aside. When she pulls the cloth away, Sevika can see that Melâs nose is a flushed, angry red now, and she leans down and gently kisses the tip of it.Â
âYou still want to argue that youâre perfectly healthy or can we stop with the theatrics?â Sevika murmurs, brushing a hand over Melâs hair and pressing her lips to the crown of her head. âBecause Iâd really like to get you in bed with some tea, and I think youâd like that too.âÂ
Mel sighs again, rubbing her temples and leaning into Sevika, maybe without realizing it. âI canât be ill right now,â Mel says, all the fight drained from her now, replaced with a quiet desperation. âI just had a cold two weeks ago. I have seven meetings lined up for tomorrow, three trade proposals pending my review, and a whole host of paperwork that Iâm already behind on.âÂ
Sevika hums in sympathy, her heart aching slightly at the look of pure exhaustion on Melâs face. âI know, baby,â Sevika murmurs, running a hand down her loverâs arm. âBut your body is asking for rest, and I donât think you ever really recovered from that last cold. Work can wait, the other councilors can handle things until youâre better, I promise.âÂ
Mel sniffles miserably, then her breath hitches again and her nose flares. Sevika reaches for the bandana before Mel can grab it, folds it over to a dry section and gently cups it over Melâs nose and mouth for her. She waits patiently as Melâs breath stutters and she gradually builds up to a sneeze, the all-consuming itch driving her to close her eyes and her mouth to drop open.Â
âHihhh-ihhâ? hhhâŚhiiyySCHHh! uhhâSCHHieww! hihh-hhihhscchh! hiiSCHHâiiu!!â Mel pitches forward into Sevikaâs waiting hand, and Sevika can feel the sneezes bursting warmly against the fabric. She waits for a few seconds to make sure Melâs finished, then pinches the cloth over her nose and gently wipes away the remaining mess. She folds the makeshift handkerchief over to the last remaining dry spot and tucks it around Melâs nose again. Â
âBlow,â she commands. Mel glances up at her, a cross between irritation and embarrassment in her eyes, but sheâs sniffling too desperately to put up much of a fight. She releases a long blow into the cloth, and Sevika patiently catches the moisture, cleaning up Melâs nose for her.Â
âBless you again,â Sevika murmurs, tucking the now-damp bandana away into her own pocket and kissing Melâs forehead. âYou are so stuffy, doll. Maybe we can try some menthol rub, yeah? Or a warm shower.âÂ
âVikaâŚâ Mel mutters, her cheeks darkening with a blush. âYou donât have to do all this. You were already sweet enough when I was sick last time, Iâll be fine.âÂ
âI know youâll be fine,â Sevika says calmly, smoothing her fingers over the baby hairs curling against Melâs forehead. âBut I want to take care of you anyway. So let me.âÂ
âIâm sorry,â Mel sighs, blinking quickly. Sevika spots the over-bright gleam in her eyes before she turns her head away. âIâve beenâŚgods. I hate being like this. Iâm sorry,â she repeats.Â
âYou donât need to apologize for being sick, baby,â Sevika murmurs, pressing the back of her hand against Melâs cheek. Itâs warm, as she thought it would be. The tears are enough indication of Melâs rising temperature on their own. âItâs not your fault.âÂ
âI was being snotty,â Mel sniffles, then laughs thickly. âIn more ways than one.âÂ
Sevika leans in and kisses away the tears slowly running down Melâs cheeks. âI love you.â Her breath is a low, warm rumble. âNothingâs going to change that. I know how you get when youâre sick. Itâs fine. Let me take you to bed?âÂ
Mel nods, sniffling again. Sevika takes that as an invitation to scoop Mel up out of her chair and into her arms, which elicits a gasp from Mel.Â
âVikaâ!â Mel chastizes, then immediately sneezes, too fast to cover. âHiiTSCHhiew!âÂ
Sevika chuckles, adjusting her hold on Mel so sheâs more secure in her arms. âBless you, doll. Bed it is.âÂ
âThis is undignified,â Mel complains, but she relaxes into Sevikaâs arms, burying her face in her shoulder.Â
âBut wiping your nose on my shirt isnât?â Sevika grins, carrying Mel out of the office and down the hall.Â
âIâm not wiping my ââ Mel starts, but her breath hitches again, and then she shudders against Sevika with another quick, half stifled, âhITSChh!âÂ
Sevika bites down another laugh, feeling the warm burst of Melâs breath against her shoulder. A decidedly wet sniffle follows the outburst. âAnd bless you again,â she says instead, kicking open their bedroom door and striding over to the massive bed. âYouâre so cute when you get all sneezy like this.âÂ
âSnf!...Ndot cudte,â Mel mutters sullenly, rubbing her nose against her wrist with another stuffy, thick sniffle. âDisgustiâg.âÂ
âNah, itâs cute,â Sevika grins, carefully settling Mel on the bed. She pulls the covers over Mel, tucking her in. Then she opens the nightstand drawer and pulls out a handkerchief, handing it over. Mel takes it gratefully and blows her nose, no longer trying to keep the sound quiet and polite.Â
Sevika sits down on the edge of the bed, tracing her eyes over Mel. Mel is wilted against the pillows, nose red and runny, her eyes watery and tired, her makeup smudged. For as much as Sevika loves seeing Mel put together in her finest, commanding entire rooms in her heels and slinky dresses, thereâs something so special about the fact that sheâs the one that Mel trusts enough to let her see like this. Undone. Messy. In need of care.Â
And Sevika is more than happy to give it.Â
âIâm going to make you some tea and find the cold meds,â Sevika murmurs, pressing her lips to Melâs warm forehead. âAnd the thermometer. I want you to just stay here and rest, got it?âÂ
âBossy,â Mel complains, but thereâs a hint of smile on her lips.Â
âYou need it,â Sevika grins, brushing a chaste kiss over her mouth. âNow sit back and let me dote on you. I know you secretly love itâÂ
âOh do I?â Mel raises an eyebrow, affection shining in her emerald eyes.Â
âYou do,â Sevika affirms, getting up from the bed. She shoots her a wink, then strides out of the room, calling over her shoulder, âAnd I do too, baby.âÂ
Mel sinks back against the pillows, smiling. She supposes there are worse ways to spend a day.Â
-----
#myfetish ft the guuuuuurls
Didnât feel up to making a video today (because this cold is killing me - I canât stop *sneezing* ) but I made this! đ¤§đ¤§đ¤§
Breakfast with my roommate đ§đłđ§đŤđ
Cw- cold sneezes, mess, stifles,f/f, contagion
- just writing to write and I wanted to try something new! let me know if you like :D
8:53AM
She moved around the kitchen in her usual routine, except today it was slightly different as she suffered through an unruly head cold. A congested sigh broke through the silence as she sluggishly set the coffee machine. Her sniffles filled the air as the water heated and bubbled and coffee began to drip.
While she waited she pulled out the eggs and a frying pan. A familiar tingle buzzed to life in her congested nose and she hurriedly put the pan down on the stove. She could feel her nose running as the prickling enhanced. She turned to snatch a paper towel from the holder, letting out a desperate, wet, messy sneeze. Snot shot from her sinuses and they burned with another sneeze. Not a second late she sneezed againâjust as messy as the first. She pinched her nostrils, wiping away the warm mess sitting between her nose and upper lip. She pulled the paper towel down, cringing at the thoroughly soaked paper. She could see wetness on her fingers as she mindlessly set the soiled paper on the counter, ripping another sheet from the holder. She wiped her fingers then lifted the paper towel to her shiny, red nose. She pressed down on one nostril, blowing gently for a moment, her sensitive nostril buzzed in reaction to the gurgling congestionâ her face crumbled.
âHehhhh???â
âEISHMPH!!â
A gurgly, congested sneeze muffled the paper towel, it was harsh against her cold-ridden nostrils. She held the napkin in place panting again for a moment, she let out a stuffy sigh then cleared her throat. She lowered the napkins after the tickle had finally disappeared.
She kept the napkin balled safely in her hand as she started to carefully whisk the eggs with the other. She sniffled again, a congested sound that made her nostrils tingle.
Oh no..
Not again..
Her nostrils flared and her breath hitched. She couldnât hold back, the urge to sneeze too strong, the cold completely taking over her sinuses. She turned her head and raised the balled napkins to her nose.
âheh hih AH MMNPHuh! hih AH EHMMNPHHuh! AH KNCH!!â she pinched the mess that released from her nostrils. The skin beneath her nose red and raw from all the wiping and blowing. She pulled the napkins away, a thin string of snot breaking and falling against her upper lip. She sighed, letting the whisk in her left hand fall to the side of the bowl. She turned towards the paper towels again, setting her used napkin on the counter with the ones from before. She sped up her movements as she felt another sneeze approaching, the snot sitting on the raw skin tickling more and more. She snatched another napkin from its holder, pushing it to her face just in timeâ
âHEEIISH! ESHUH! UHTSCHIEW!â
She blew her nose. Then rubbed it thoroughly through the napkin. She pulled the napkin away and set it next to the pile growing on the kitchen counter. Her head was too foggy to think about the blatant lack of hygiene.
âUghhh mby dose, sndrrf.. coff coffâ
She rubbed her nose, a thick squelching sound producing. She sniffled again and wiped her nose with the back of her hand.
She turned back to her eggs and poured them in the heated pan. She turned towards the cutlery drawar closet to the stove. Opening and sifting through to find a spatula. Before she could find one she felt another sneeze approachingâ coming so quick she knew she couldnât do anything to cover so she stifled it hard.
âHAHKINXT uhhhhh.â
The tickled flared back to life almost immediately. She turned her head, away from the open drawer, âuhh AHTCHIEW TSHIEW sndrrrffâ spray burst into the air. She sniffled again, relieved they werenât messy. She turned back to the drawer, locating the spatula and mixed the eggs so they could cook evenly.
She reached towards the cabinet over the microwave, her shirt slight going up to reveal her soft skin. She pulled out the salt and pepper and sprinkled a dash of salt.
She set the pepper down on the counter then stumbled out of the kitchen. You looked up at her as she entered the living room, it was an open layout she didnât need to actually leave the kitchen, you could see her fine from the couch. But she came in, nose bright red with a tickling cold. She wore a fitted gray v-neck top with no bra and loose pajama pants that hung on her hips.
She spoke, or tried toâ
âDo youhh hih? Hehhh?â
Her face crumbled and she held a fist precariously under her flaring nostrils. She stared out into the distance, her face from in preparation for another cold-ridden explosion.
You couldnât turn away, stuck in a trance as you watch a sneeze blast out of her cold-ridden nostrils.
âBless you!â
âUgh thangk you⌠snrdddff do you wand snddrrrff cheese ind your eggs? Snddrrffâ
âUmm yes please.â You said quietly as she stared at you, her nose twitching again.
âOkay!â She went to turn around,
âAre you sure you should be cooking right now? You sound really sickâŚâ You ask. She rolled her eyes.
âImb fined! Snndrrff ive ondly sdeezed like twice and youâre act'ng like i just sdeezed all over the food! Snddrrf.â
âI-im not i just dont want you to overdo yourself if you're not feeling great.â You said, thinking about how she practically did sneeze all over the food⌠and the kitchen.
âI prombise i feel fined, plus i wandted to bake breakfast cause you cand cook for shit!â She chuckled, coughing slightly. âAâd whend imb findished we cad contidue bindging scooby doo!â She turned around, walking towards the kitchen.
âOkay!â You chirped, butterflies erupting in your stomach as she teased you. You watched her walk away, then slow her pace and lift her hand to her face. Her head bobbed down 4 times, silently stifling more sneezes. She sniffled wetly then went back into the kitchen, opening the refrigerator and grabbing the cheddar cheese. You watched her untie the bread, grabbing both of you a slice. You watched her scrub her nose before pouring coffee.
She brought both of your plates out, and the closer she got the more you could see her contorted expression. She had to sneeze.
She quickly handed you the plate, her voice breathy and airy, âh-here.â then pinched her nose shut and bobbed forward,
âEh MNNNKT ahh.â
âBless you!â
âThangs.â

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Look, I have no excuse. This is a piece of nasty snz kink stuff. (it's completely unrealistic in most places lmao). It's heavy on grossness and people sneezing on others and their belongings. The only actual "plot" is contagion. This is part one, there is... uh... much more to come but I write large swats with one hand, okay, so it requires plenty of editing. đ For this one, we have three ladies passing this cold forward. One too-tired-to-be-polite, one trying-her-very-best-to-be-polite, and an ice queen-character completely unable to be polite. đ
It's Catching (various female, CONTAGION, mess)
âHehhddISSSHHHew!â
Helen sneezes so violently that she has to steady herself against her desk for a moment, feeling dizzy. She is wrapping up the work day with a sense of immense relief that itâs finally over. The cold that has firmly settled in her sinuses is at its peak and she has no idea how she managed to get through the day in the first place.
Tomorrow she will have to call in sick, there is no way she can muddle through another day like this. Youâd think university students would be at least somewhat better at keeping their germs to themselves than pre-schoolers but it sure doesnât seem that way. Hours of teaching in a lecture hall where the air seemed thick with viruses â at least two thirds of the students were coughing and sneezing and blowing their noses â all but guaranteed that sheâd catch something before the week was over, and indeed she has. Maybe several different colds, even. The nasal symptoms certainly feel more intense than they usually do.
Going outside in the chilly air makes her nose run even more than it already was, and she is already out of tissues. She could have brought some paper towels before leaving her office, of course, but she forgot. Her head feels like itâs full of snot, itâs hard to think through the sinus pressure. But her nose is running so persistently that she ends up having to wipe it on the sleeves of her coat. Nasty, but desperate times and desperate measures, and all that. All this exhausted university professor really wants is to get home, take a hot shower, make a steaming cup of tea, and go to bed. Sleep this cold off.
âEeeISSSH-ISSSHHH-huhDISSSHHHIEW! Oh God, it just wonât stop!â
She wipes her nose with her sleeve again, thankful itâs late enough that none of her students is around to see what sheâs reduced to. Her classroom authority would never recover.
The bus pulls up at the stop, and she groans when she sees how crowded it is. But she feels like death warmed over, and itâs starting to rain and she doesnât have an umbrella, so there is no way she is going to walk home, even if it isnât that far.
***
Oh please donât sit next to me, Chloe thinks when the woman in the red coat steps onto the bus. She is in her late 30s or early 40s, attractive, or would be if she had been healthy, but she is visibly bogged down with an awful cold. Her nose is almost as red as her coat, there are dark circles around her eyes, and when she makes her way down the aisle Chloe realises that she has streaks of snot on her sleeves. Eww. Youâd think grown women with a civilised appearance would at least know to use a tissue or something.
Keep going, keep going, she quietly urges the sick woman as she gets closer to Chloeâs seat, but rather than continuing further down the aisle, the woman stops next to her.
âIs this seat taked?â she asks in a thick, stuffy voice. She looks exhausted. Chloe does feel bad for her, itâs not that, but she really doesnât want to catch that cold; she has to work the whole weekend and she already knows itâs going to be hell. She doesnât need a cold on top of that. But her polite nature overrules any self-preservation she has, so she moves to the window seat with a sigh of resignation.
âThag you,â the sick woman says and takes the offered â well, forced-offered more like it â seat. Her snot-streaked sleeve brushes against Chloeâs purse for a moment and Chloe involuntarily makes a disgusted face, but the other woman doesnât notice. She has a faraway look on her own face and Chloe realises to her horror that the woman is about to sneeze. The sick woman, right next to her, so close she can feel the feverish heat from her body, is about to sneeze a ton of contagious droplets into the air Chloe has no choice but breathing.
Sheâs going to cover, Chloe soothes herself. Of course she is. Maybe thatâs why her sleeves are so gross, because she has sneezed into them. Not perfect but way better than uncovered. Yes, thatâs it, of course it is.
But the woman merely holds her hands up in front of her face, several inches away, and when the sneeze comes out itâs wet, itâs messy, and itâs essentially uncovered because sheâs sneezing at her hands rather than into them.
âHeeehhh-ISSSSHHHEW!â
Nothing is contained, and the sneeze spatters everywhere. Chloe holds her breath, but the smallest droplets are still mingling in the air like tiny dust particles when she has to surrender to her bodyâs need for oxygen and inhale again. Which she does at the exact moment that the womanâs red, cold-filled nose explodes again, this time halfway turned towards Chloe and thus sending an abundance of droplets teeming with illness in her direction.
âEeehhD-ISSSHHHIEW!â
Chloe can feel some of the spray hit her face and her brain just blanks out for a moment. This canât be happening.Â
âOh shit, Iâb so sorry,â the woman says and sniffles thickly. âI hope I didnât get you with that. I didnât feel it cobig. These sdeezes are so udpredictable. Do you by ady chadce have a tissue?â
Little late for that now, isnât it? Chloe thinks, but shakes her head, still in shock from what just happened.
âIâm sorry, I donât.â
She will in a couple of days, of that sheâs now convinced, but not now.
âOh. Thags adywa⌠ahhâŚâ
Fuck politeness, this time Chloe pulls her scarf up over her nose and mouth and turns towards the window, pushing up so close sheâd melt into it if she could. Become one with the window. Glass panes donât catch colds. Oh to be a glass pane for this ride. Or not be on this ride at all. Yes. That would be light-years better than sitting here and being exposed to what sounds like the nastiest cold she has ever encountered in a public setting. Why is this woman not at home? Why is she even out in public with something this contagious? Why?
ââŚahhh-DISSSSHHHHIEW!â
Chloe can feel the womanâs body convulse with the force of the sneeze, which is not suppressed at all, itâs let out with the same gusto as if she was alone in her own home.
The woman sniffles again, a disgusting, snotty sound, and then starts to cough a raspy, chesty cough. She coughs almost nonstop for the rest of the ride, and the only âcoverâ she provides is a loose fist placed approximately two inches from her mouth.
Kill me now, Chloe thinks. Or Iâll be murdered by at least one patron when I come to work on Friday.
***
Madeline is in her late 40s and is the embodiment of the epithet âattractive older womanâ, though she would likely send a contract killer after anyone who calls her âolderâ. But she is objectively beautiful, and she is of the opinion that she certainly should be, considering how much money she has invested into her appearance. Whatever flaws her appearance used to have sheâs paid professionals to correct. It has all been done very tastefully, she has no interest in looking like some of those celebrity freakshows who donât know when to stop going under the knife.
Right now, she is annoyed, though youâd never believe it because she doesnât want to frown. It gives you wrinkles. Itâs not worth it just because the waitress serving her is sniffling all the time. Not obnoxiously loud, but it really is relentless.
âYou keep sniffling, are you ill?â she interrupts the young woman as she rattles through the wine list with a thick voice, sniffling every few seconds.
âNo maâam,â she replies, and sheâs blushing. âMy apologies. Itâs allergies.â
âThis time of year?â
âA gentleman here is wearing a cologne my nose doesnât quite agree with,â she says.
âI see,â Madeline says. She doesn't really care. She just wanted to alert the young woman to her unpleasant habit so she'll stop.
She orders the wine she wants and as the waitress jots it down on her notepad, there is an expression crossing her face, first briefly and then it returns and lingers, an expression like sheâs about to sneeze. Eyes narrowing, eyebrows knitted, nostrils â they are decidedly pink around the edges â flaring. This waitress has a very, letâs call it âexpressiveâ nose, and there is no doubt in Madelineâs mind that itâs tickling. Her nostrils flare wide and they twitch, almost like a bunnyâs nose. Of course, a bunny has a small, adorable nose while this young womanâs nose could really benefit from an appointment with Madelineâs plastic surgeon. Itâs much too long and too wide to be particularly feminine, and otherwise her features are delicate and pretty. Of course Madeline would never say it, it would be rude, but itâs a pity such a pretty face is so dominated by a nose that big.
After a few seconds, the expression fades and the waitressâs face relaxes again. In fact, her shoulders relax too, as if she was fighting with her entire body to hold back a sneeze. Well, itâs a good thing she succeeded, because Madeline would not take kindly to staff snotting all over her dinner table.
As the waitress keeps taking Madelineâs order, she tries to sniffle quieter, and less frequently, but all that really accomplishes is that it sounds wetter. There is a look of immense worry in her eyes when she can turn away and head back to the kitchen.
Chloe walks as fast as she can, but not to the kitchen, but to the staff bathroom. She has barely managed to close the door behind her and get her arm up to her face before the sneezing begins. Itâs impossible to hold them back longer than a few seconds, they just wonât be controlled; once they start to build inside, she has to make a run for it so the patrons wonât notice. She is very careful to cover each of the dozens upon dozens of itchy sneezes that comes on throughout the evening, direct them firmly into the crook of her arm, so she wonât spray them everywhere like that inconsiderate bitch on the bus who she definitely caught this from â but even when sheâs not sneezing her nose is so unbelievably itchy. It feels a lot like her spring allergies when it comes to the intensity of that itch, but there is nothing in bloom this time of year that sheâs allergic to, and the cologne excuse was just that â an excuse. If you have no choice but to be here, thereâs no reason to put off the patrons.
âHehhNKKT-nnkt-Tsshhoo! HaaaESSSHHH! NNKTissshhhoo!â
Her nose is still burning with the urge to sneeze, but she thinks she can stave them off for a while now. She grabs some paper towels and blows her nose forcefully, then washes her hands thoroughly.
She really is trying to be considerate, but that itch is so annoying, she keeps having to rub her nose without even thinking about it. And the wetness inside her nose, teeming with viruses eager to move on to other hosts, sometimes gets on her hands when she runs her knuckles or her fingers or even the heel of her hand back and forth underneath her burning nose. These viruses then hitches a ride on the plates she carries, the glasses she fills, the menus she hands out. Still, while she involuntarily ends up passing the viruses to most of the patrons she serves that weekend, only one of them actually comes down with the cold.
That one patron is Madeline.
***
Madeline wakes up that Sunday morning with a prickly throat and blocked sinuses. She thinks of the sniffly-nosed waitress while she gathers her luggage for her trip cross-country, and just knows those âallergiesâ she claimed it was, was really the cold that is now claiming Madeline as its next victim. Â Â
By the time sheâs at the airport, Madelineâs surgically perfected nose has developed this irresistible tickle resulting in small fits of stifled dainty sneezes that she suppresses into an expensive handkerchief. To begin with, she puts the lace-edged handkerchief away between each fit, but she soon decides itâs more convenient to keep it in her hand all the time. The tickle just keeps coming back, it feels like she has a very fluffy feather stuck somewhere deep within her nose, tickling and tickling. It might go away if she let out a sneeze, but she will not. Her natural, unrestrained sneezes are about as unladylike as can be, harsh and loud and spraying, and not something she allows herself even if she is alone.
The tickle is relentless, though, and her nose is already getting red. Well, thatâs not terribly surprising, she has very fair complexion (along with her arctic blue eyes and ash-blonde hair it earned her the nickname Ice Queen in her circles) and the continuous brush of the handkerchief along with the brewing inflammation in her nose takes a toll on her skin. But one look in her makeup mirror when she has boarded the plane and she is assured that it is far worse than she thought. She looks like sheâs been suffering from this drippy, tickly cold for weeks rather than hours.
***
The flight attendant does a double take when she sees the attractive middle-aged woman in the expensive skirt suit take her seat in first class. She sees a lot of rich people in expensive suits, including some very good-looking ones, thatâs not what catches her eye. Itâs how impossibly cold-ridden she looks. Her nose, too perfect not to be the work of a talented plastic surgeon, is cherry red, a stark contrast to her very pale skin. Her lips, coated with a discreet layer of soft pink lipstick are parted. She must be very congested.
That woman is going to have a real problem as soon as the pressure changes, the flight attendant thinks. But she knows better than trying to tell the first-class passengers the unfortunate facts of life. They complain and the company always sides with them because money.
She still looks at the woman when those red, tender-looking nostrils quiver, flare, and then are hidden behind a thin barrier that consists of a handkerchief. It looks like it has been used quite a bit already; there seem to be fewer dry spots than wet ones on it. The woman proceeds to sneeze a series of very restrained, tickly stifles, her entire body shuddering with the force she suppresses.
Sheâs not going to be able to keep stifling like that throughout the flight, not unless sheâd rather blow out her eardrums, the flight attendant thinks, still blissfully unaware that it's everybody else's eardrums that will be in danger on this flight.
âAmanda? Could you come over here for a moment?â her colleague says, and she momentarily forgets about the lady with the cold as she goes to see what Luisa needs.
***
A while later itâs no longer possible to forget about the lady with the cold. Amanda knows from experience that itâs painful to fly when youâre congested, but for this woman the air pressure seems to do something more: it makes her sneezing worse. Not just the expected amount with changed air pressure and irritated sinuses. Much, much worse.
If she sneezed a stifled fit of four, five sneezes in a row every twenty to thirty minutes earlier, she now sneezes seven, eight, even ten times in a row every ten minutes. When these bigger sneeze attacks started, she was still trying her hardest to stifle, then she started doing everything within her power to simply hold them back â an endeavour that was doomed to fail if her nose tickled as much as it appeared to.
And now she just canât deny herself the release any longer.
The first completely unrestrained sneeze cuts like a whipcrack through the cabin, and Amanda is certain she isnât the only one who jumps. But that sneeze is only the first of eight, and the rest of them ring out like thunderclaps, one right after another. Theyâre so loud, they sound so desperate, almost painful â actually, scratch the âalmostâ â and theyâre also spraying, dripping, soaking wet.
That fit alone sounded like she could wring that handkerchief out after. Amanda hopes that these powerful outbursts was what she needed to once and for all quell that tickle in her nose that had plagued her since before she boarded. For everybodyâs sake.
The lady mumbles an apology to the people who turns to stare at her, and goes into the bathroom, presumably to blow her nose. She sure can't rely on her handkerchief to take in any more of what her swollen mucus membranes produce, thatâs for sure.
When she returns to her seat she begins to flip through a magazine, but Amanda can tell from the hazy look in her eyes and the way sheâs pressing the saturated handkerchief against the underside of her aggravated nose, that she needs to sneeze again.
She holds out for almost five whole minutes before she canât even pretend to focus on the magazine. Then her breath begins to hitch, and she franticly presses the handkerchief even firmer against her damp nostrils during the buildup, almost as if sheâs trying to block the sneezes from coming out. As if that would help.
This time, ten of those wet blasts are being screamed into the expensive, drenched fabric. While fetching a box of tissues for her, Amanda is frankly both horrified and impressed. This is surely not going to last the entire flight; no one is able to sneeze that loudly and that frequently for any prolonged period of time⌠right?
Well, yes and no. The frequency of the sneezes goes down somewhat after the first hour or so of this, but not the volume or the number of sneezes in each attack. Now she sneezes about an even dozen in a row of those ear-splitting, waterlogged, throat-scraping RAH-AAAASSSHHHOOâs and HERRRIIIIISSSSHHHOOâs and HAA-RREESSSSHHHAAHâs and HUH-RUUSSSSSSCHHUHâs once an hour or so for the rest of the flight.
The now useless handkerchief has been abandoned, unceremoniously stuffed into the side pocket of her purse, crumpled tissues filled with clear, contagious mess are spilling over her lap after her desperate attempts to blow that troublesome tickle out of her nose, she has resorted to trying to muffle the sneezes into the blanket by her seat, embarrassed beyond words, but some of these monumental explosions of noise, spray and germs catch her off guard and come out completely uncovered. Amanda has never heard a woman that small sneeze that loudly before, and she has never witnessed a cold as aggressively symptomatic as this one before either. She doesnât know whether the air in the plane that is just one big concentrated cold soup by the time the plane finally touches ground again, but sheâs willing to bet the other first-class passengers will all catch that cold, at least.
And she is not hopeful about her own chances of escape either.
Are we ready for the second part (of three)? I hope so, lmao. In this one we have some revenge contagion and some completely careless-with-her-germs, and some mess. I would run for the hills if I ever saw any of these situations irl, but apparently they're hot as fuck in imagination. Hope you'll enjoy it too! đ
***
Part 2
Josie cringes when she spots the flight attendantâs pink, swollen nose and hears how sniffly and hoarse she sounds during the in-flight safety demonstration.
Normally she wouldnât really care; public transport of any kind is a petrie dish and everybody catches a cold once in a while, itâs no big deal. But in this particular instance itâs very unsettling news, because Josie is going to her old college friendâs wedding the day after tomorrow and Crystal is⌠well, she isâŚ
While Josie tries to find a nicer word for bitch, the flight attendant pauses mid-sentence, takes several hitching breaths, her eyelids fluttering briefly. She hesitantly raises her arm a little, ready to aim her sneeze into her elbow, but eventually exhales without sneezing. She waits a few seconds, as if to be absolutely sure the sneeze is gone, before she lowers her arm again, sniffles and goes back to speaking, but this time her voice has an even thicker quality to it.  Â
***
Amanda feels her cheeks burn as she picks up where she trailed off and keeps talking. This cold is still settling in, but itâs getting ominously comfortable in her nose already. It first started last night with a touch of a sore throat, that kind that is more a discomfort than pain, where you swallow repeatedly to see if itâs still there, and it always is. When she woke up this morning that uncomfortable sensation was gone; she was a bit more congested than her usual morning congestion could account for and it lingered longer, but nothing that really set off alarm bells. She had no doubt this was the beginning of a cold, however; there was no way she hadnât caught the cold from that first-class passenger the other day. That woman had looked and sounded like she was a week deep into the worst cold in the history of mankind, sneezing uncontrollably. And Amanda had been the one to serve the first-class passengers the entire flight, she had picked up the snotty tissues and the damp, sneezed-in blanket that woman had left behind, like a trail of contagion.
Follow the trail of contagion and get your very own cold, Amanda thinks, but itâs not funny on any level.Â
She had honestly believed that her version of this womanâs cold would be much milder, based on the first symptoms, but when she arrived at work, her nose was running almost nonstop with clear watery mess. Every time she sniffled to maintain control of this drip, that intense, almost pepper-like, sneezy feeling flared up deep inside her nose.
She isnât sneezing with the same ferocity or anywhere near as often as the lady in first class had, but she is far sneezier than sheâd normally be from a cold. Sometimes, like now, they just tease her right up to the edge before leaving her itchy-nosed and unsatisfied, other times she sneezes once, feels like she is done, until the tickle returns a couple of seconds later and then result in a whole fit. Thankfully, with her being used to high altitudes, she believes she will be able to keep them at the very least half-stifled, but it has a price. Her sinuses are pounding and sheâs pretty sure her whole face looks swollen.
Take-off was painful, as she had known it would be, but when they level out, the pain is replaced with an overwhelming itch, and Amanda turns away from the passengers, bring her arm up to her face, and lets the sneezes take over.
***
Josie sees the pretty flight attendant lean into the crook of her arm, breath hitching, and this time itâs no false start. A soft but wet âHihh-NTSCH!â sprays into the sleeve of her proper navy blazer.
Well, at least she tries to contain itâŚ
âHihh-TSSHH! IHHKTSSHH! TSSHoo!â
She keeps sneezing, as if that first one had removed a seal that unleashed an uncontrolled storm of sneezes.
Oh God, Josie thinks as the other woman hurries to get away from the sight of the passengers.
Josie can still hear her sneeze; it sounds like she does everything in her power to keep the sneezes quiet, soft, restrained, but they are coming faster and faster and sounding like they melt into one another until it sounds more like tisssh-issshh-issshshhhshhh!
I do not want that cold, Josie thinks. If Crystal even suspects that Iâm sick itâs going to ruin her âperfect weddingâ, and thatâs gonna be everyoneâs problem.
The flight attendant with the very itchy nose must have sneezed at least twenty times in rapid succession by the time she finally manages to get herself together and stop. Josie can hear the fit taper off, and then a soft but very productive noseblow. She hopes that the sick woman washes her hands after, but she isnât sure.
When she steps back out a few minutes later, she has reapplied some concealer on her nose, but she is unable to stop sniffling. The kind of wet, light, persistent sniffling that isnât very loud, but quickly grates on your nerves.Â
Josie notices that when sheâs near the passengers; serving them or leaning in to listen to them, she tries to avoid sniffling, but every time she turns around to go back after this, Josie can see a trail of thin, watery snot slowly trickling out of her nostrils. She disappears behind the curtain, and then follows another noseblow. This cold is worsening in real time.
***
The middle seat of Josieâs row is empty, and the elderly woman in the window seat appears to have dozed off already. Either a veteran flyer, or someone who needs to dope herself up on sleeping pills to get through it, Josie assumes. It could have been a rather pleasant flight, if Josie wasnât constantly reminded that she was sitting in a tin can with recirculated air and at least one person with a doubtlessly contagious cold. Ironically, for once it doesnât seem like any of the passengers are sick; there is an occasional cough, but it doesnât sound as urgent, persistent, or ticklish as a cough brought on by illness.
But as the flight goes on, the flight attendantâs sneezing and sniffling becomes more and more frequent instead. She is lovely and service-minded despite her own obvious ailment, and she does attempt to downplay her symptoms as best she could. It just seems to get more and more difficult for her.
Well, Josie is definitely not going to call for her, not once during the entire flight. She is not going to eat or drink anything served by someone so obviously contagious. No way. Itâs only a few hours, she doesnât need anything to eat or drink in that time. Each time the sick woman walks past Josieâs seat, Josie holds her breath. She is glad she isnât an actual germaphobe; she has no idea how anyone could deal with the anxiety that came with it, if she is this anxious just this one time.
Her plan to avoid any form of close contact with the cold-ridden stewardess might even have worked, if only Josieâs seat neighbour hadnât woken up mid-flight and pressed the button above her, calling for the flight attendantâs attention.
***
Josie steels herself when the pink-nosed woman leans over her seat. The elderly lady has a very soft voice, and the flight attendant seems to struggle to hear her, leaning in even further. Her face is less than two feet away from Josieâs, in fact, she can almost look right up into her nose.
Josie tries not to, tries to ignore the whole scene and pray the ill woman will step away soon, but she canât not look. Itâs like watching your own demise coming closer with no way of escaping. Thatâs overly dramatic of course, but the interior of that rosy nose is damp, as in, she can see watery snot moving inside. The flight attendantâs nose twitches; holding back on the sniffling for so long seems to make it tickle again. She wiggles her nose. She flares her nostrils. Stretches her upper lip. Scrunches up her nose. She has a picture-perfect version of a âcute button noseâ that Josie, who has a large, wide nose, had been so jealous of as a teenager, but at the moment she isnât jealous of that nose at all. Even if it wasnât sporting a shade like pink rose petals it would still look like an extremely tickly nose. If sheâd had both nostrils stuffed to the brim with feathers and downs, that nose couldnât have looked ticklier.
And itâs visibly running, too. Josie watches with increasing apprehension as liquid begins to gather right underneath the nostril thatâs mere inches away from Josieâs face. She hopes it wonât begin to run down that twitching upper lip and maybe drip down on her.
The flight attendant seems to be concerned about the same thing, because she gives a quick sniff to recapture the escaping wetness.Â
This is a terrible mistake, and Josie realises whatâs about to happen a split second before the woman leaning over her takes one single sharp, deep breath and turns her head away from the woman sheâs talking to, about to sneeze. But in her haste, instead of turning to her left where all she would have hit with the virus-infused outburst is the backrest of the row in front, she turns to her right and unleashes a huge, spraying double-sneeze downwards.
âHEYISSSSHHHHEW-IIISSSSHHH!â
Right in Josieâs face.
And before Josie can fully comprehend what just happened, the cold-ridden woman sneezes again, blasting Josie in the face with a third, high-pitched and even wetter outburst, before she manages to pull all the way back into the aisle and get a hand up in front of her face.
âOh God I⌠hehh⌠I am s-so⌠hahhh⌠so s-sorry,â she stutters, but even as she tries to apologise, she keeps building up to another sneeze.
âItâs⌠itâs okay,â Josie says, almost stunned. No, it isnât okay, not even remotely okay, but what is she supposed to say? It wasnât on purpose.
âExcuse me,â Josie mumbles and gets up, walks past the woman who is sneezing into her elbow again (if only sheâd done that a few seconds ago!), and goes to the bathroom to wash her face and say a prayer that her immune defence is strong enough to fight back this accidental assault.
***
Josie fights bravely with the determination of a real trooper, armed with an arsenal of vitamins and other things that claims to prevent colds, but she has to admit defeat on the evening before the wedding.
Colds are normally slow-burns for her, symptoms coming on slowly and gradually, and if this cold had behaved the way they usually did, she might have managed to get through the wedding without showing obvious symptoms.
This cold does not behave that way. This cold just marches in and takes over. Her nose, normally as resilient as it is big, surrenders without a fight; she views it as a deserter.
She knows that she somehow has to find a way to suppress the sneezes when sheâs in company, and sneak away somewhere and let them out when she can. Because if she doesnât show up to the wedding, there will be drama. Nobody ditches Crystal.
Of course, if she shows up obviously contagious, there will be drama either way.
Josie puts on her bridesmaidâs dress â Crystal insisted on bright purple silk, which isnât something Josie would ever choose for herself. She is a voluptuous woman with generous curves, and the dress is uncomfortably tight, making her feel trapped and suffocated. She doesnât even want to think about having to sneeze in it, but her itchy nose makes no promises to stay calm.
It'll be fine, she tells herself.
But the redness around her nostrils is glaringly obvious despite the makeup, and the tickle inside them is not going to remain ignorable for very long.
Itâs going to be bad.
***
She had no idea how bad.
Crystal is as insufferable as she was in college, and Josie wonders why she even agreed to come here. She doesnât fit in with these people anyway; theyâre loud and entitled, rude and selfish. The groom is worshipping Crystal in a way that at least suits her perfectly, but other than that he hardly says two words to anyone.
Maybe heâs just overwhelmed.
Josie is overwhelmed, anyway, thatâs for sure. Or rather her nose is. Crystal has decided to go all-in with the same colour scheme as the bridesmaidsâ dresses, and all decorations are a light, pastel purple. Itâs beautiful. Unfortunately, the wedding bouquet, along with the majority of the flower arrangements, consists of lavender and lilacs to stick with the colour theme.
Josieâs nose, when not under siege by this rapidly developing cold, has few enemies. But lavender is one. The scent alone is enough to make her nose itch something horrible. As if she isnât in trouble enough trying to handle her cold, which is very firmly settled within her sinuses, tickling and teasing, wanting to push her over the edge at the worst possible moment.
She holds back so many sneezes during the ceremony and stifles even more of them. She pinches her nose between thumb and index finger and tries to swallow the sneezes, keep them contained within her body, nothing is allowed to come out.
She gets a couple of strange looks, but not too many, and she doesnât really notice most of them. She is too concentrated on her nose, burning underneath her fingertips. It would feel so good to just sneeze, just let loose, but she doesnât want to disturb the ceremony, and she knows that even if a sneeze is triggered by her lavender allergy, the cold is flourishing inside her and she must be peak contagious right now. She would feel so bad if she gave Crystal a cold right before her honeymoon.
***
At the party after the ceremony, Josie is getting more and more fed up. The dress is uncomfortable, Crystal is even more insufferable than she remembers, the other guests are snobs, and her nose just canât keep fighting against the amount of sneezes that tries to come out. All the lavender with its pollen and strong fragrance keeps nearly tipping her over the edge, but she can handle it.
Her cold, however, is only getting more pronounced. She isnât sure how she knows itâs the cold and not the lavender, but⌠she knows.
Then Crystal, who hasnât really picked up on Josieâs predicament at all, (which actually is good news for the struggling, sneezy woman), seals her own and Josieâs fate when she shoves her wedding bouquet in Josieâs arms.
âHold these for me, Jo, I need the ladiesâ room right now.â
And with that sheâs gone, leaving Josieâs exhausted, tormented, cold-ridden and allergic nose to deal with the unexpected floral ambush. The flowers get in her face; in fact, one of the lavender stems goes straight up her right nostril, not just brushing at the edge, but going deep inside her nose and digging into her already aggravated mucus membranes. The sneeze is practically immediate. She tries so hard to hold back, that the sneeze that ends up pushing itself out of her comes out sounding nothing like her normal sneeze.
âUH-WOOSSCHUH!â
A thin string of transparent snot hangs between her attacked nostril and the flower when she opens her watery eyes to look at the aftermath. She sneezed out the lavender sprig, but she can feel that itâs not out in its entirety. There is something stuck in her nose; pieces of petal maybe, or worse; pollen. Before she can really do anything, she sneezes again, and this time itâs altogether uncontainable. She ends up misting the bouquet with abundant spray.
âHATSSSSSHHH!â
She sniffles, and immediately sneezes again, spraying yet another substantial cloud of droplets over the flowers.
âHAAATSSSHHHHUH!â
Her large, rounded nostrils flare wildly, determined to get rid of the irritation once and for all.
âSnff!-snnfff! HAA-AATTTSSSSHHH!â
Each time she sneezes, it shifts whatever is stuck in her nose, but doesnât expel it, it only brushes against the inside of her nose and makes her sneeze again.
âAaaaKSSSHHHH! HAAASSSSHHHoo!â
Her dress is straining to allow her the room to sneeze, but thatâs the least of her problems right now. Whatever got lodged inside her nose is still there. Poking and prodding at the inside of a nose that is getting desperate to free itself from this torture.
âAAAAKKKSSSHHHUUH!â
Quickly, she reaches for something to blow her nose into, getting hold of a napkin. She gives her suffering nose a one-handed, forceful blow, and, thank God, whatever was stuck there finally comes out. She isnât someone who looks at the tissue after blowing her nose, but she needs to know what it is.
A flower. One of the small flowers on the stem, fully intact. She can swear the fragrance is still stuck in her nose even if the flower is out, but maybe thatâs just because the bouquet is still so close to her face. She shudders and rubs her nose frantically before she looks down at the mess and droplets she has just sprayed all over the bouquet, horrified.
What have I done??
The part of her that has had it with these people and the whole situation, finally pipes up.
Why not do it again; make sure she gets an extra wedding gift for the honeymoon?
No, I canât do that.
But then she thinks about how many times Crystal has gotten her sick through college because sheâs so utterly careless with her germs whenever she catches something. Like that time Crystal got her sick in time for a very anticipated date, leaving Josie stuck in the dorm with a high fever and tissues up her dripping nostrils, while Crystal, mostly recovered thanks to Josieâs caretaking, went out. And hooked up with Josieâs date. Â
Okay, yeah, why not. Revenge is a dish best served cold, they say, and a cold is exactly what I have to serve up.
She carefully inspects the flowers and wipes off the most obvious wetness. She doesnât think Crystal will notice the rest; the newly minted missus has shifted focus to gifts, cake and champagne, not bouquets, veils and vows.
When Crystal returns from the bathroom, she takes the flowers and rejoins the party, not asking why Josie isnât coming. Josie considers just leaving, but no, she is going to give Crystal a cold as an additional wedding gift before she heads home to a warm cup of tea and a movie instead of this lavish idiocy.
Her nose is tingling with this sneezy need, nowhere near satisfied with the sneezes earlier, so she decides to make the most of it.
The table with gifts is closest by, so she makes her way over to it, looking around to make sure no one is there to see her. Her nose is so sensitive, that she only needs to touch the side of it with her fingertips to set off that burning urge again. Her breath hitches, and then she hovers on the edge for a couple of suspenseful seconds, before snapping forward with a:
âHAAA-TSSSHHHHEW!â
Spray disperses in the air above the gifts, lazily floating down and settling on them. Josie feels a moment of guilt, but itâs too late now; her nose is already gearing up for another.
âAah-ETSSSHHHHoo!â
Sniffle â gasp â
â- HEH-TSSSSHHHHEW!â
For a moment she wonders if this was a mistake and that sheâs never going to stop sneezing now that she started; itâs not really how her allergies work, but if her version of the flight attendantâs cold is anything like the source material, itâs going to be an exceptionally sneezy one.
âIITTSSSSHHHOO!â
But she doesnât have to worry, four sneezes in a row is apparently what her nose is capable of at the moment.
They were all very wet, too, so she wonât need more to thoroughly contaminate the wedding gifts. Crystal will surely handle the gifts by herself, not letting her husband butt in even if he wants to. Itâs just her nature.
She continues to the champagne glasses, of which two are very conveniently engraved with MR and MRS in golden cursive letters â Josie isnât sure if she thinks thatâs cute or tacky, but itâs convenient for her purposes anyway â and takes the one engraved MRS. This time she doesnât even have to touch her nose to set it off, itâs already eager to sneeze again, so all she has to do is hold the glass in front of her and let them rip. A very tickly rapid triple bursts out of her, coming so fast and so furiously that she almost drops the glass.
âAAASSSHHH! AAASSCHHH! HAAASSSHHHOO!â
She could probably keep going forever, the way her nose burns, but she pinches it with her free hand, squishing it so hard between her fingers that the next couple of sneezes are contained and eventually stops the acute need altogether.
If she sprays too much on and in that glass, itâs bound to be obvious even by the time they pop the champagne. With her nose back under her control â reluctantly â she wipes the most obvious droplets off and puts the glass back.
One more stop before she makes her escape. The wedding cake.
The cake, as extravagant as the rest at this wedding, is decorated with real lavender, lilacs and violets. Josieâs nose twitches again at the very sight, but she leans in close and sniffs them. Lavender is the only flower sheâs allergic to, but the scent of the lilacs when her nose is already this raw and sensitive may be one straw too many.
She backs off a little, her nose is tingling with an intensity sheâs never experienced before, and she doesnât want to be too close when she sneezes, worried that the force of the sneezes from too close a distance might disturb the elaborate cake decorations.
She inhales deeply, this time filling her lungs to capacity so fast that her dress finally gives up on her. The front abruptly rips in a vertical tear, making the previously modest cleavage so revealing her breasts are almost entirely exposed. Her bra is sturdier than the dress, though, and at least keeps things in place, but the dress is ruined.
Her need to sneeze is so strong that she barely notices her dress tearing, and she sprays five rapid, strong, and most of all wet, sneezes all over the beautiful cake.
âHAA-ATSSSSCHHH-AASSSHHH-AAATSSSHHHHEW! HAH-TSSSSHHHHoo!-HAA-AKTSSSHHHHUH!â
She tries not to sneeze too loudly, not wanting to draw attention to herself, but even if theyâre not as loud as they want to be, theyâre louder than she wants them to be.
One last sneeze sneaks up on her as she turns away, and she sprays this one all over her exposed chest and bra.
She feels like she could be set off again just from a sniffle, and decides that itâs time to ditch the party. She holds the remnants of the dress front together while she hurries to the bathroom and cleans herself up the best she can. When this is done, she goes to get her coat so she can hide the ruined dress and then she heads for the door. But she bumps into Crystal before she can get away.
âYouâre not leaving, are you?â Crystal pouts, as if Josieâs presence was particularly important to her in the first place. âWeâre going to cut the cake and pop champagne soonâŚâ
âIâm sorry,â Josie says, hears how congested she sounds and gets an idea. She fakes a sob. âIâve had a wardrobe malfunction,â she says and shows a glimpse of the ruined dress under her coat. âI canât stay like this.â
Wardrobe malfunctions is something Crystal would take seriously, and she does.
âOh noooo! I understand, but thank you so much for coming, it was wonderful to see you again!â
Yeah, I really felt welcome, Josie thinks cynically, but when Crystal throws her arms around her, Josie returns the hug with warmth. It may be fake warmth, but the entire friendship has been fake, so why not?
âYou too, I hope you have a wonderful honeymoon!â
And a very bad cold, she adds to herself before letting go and heading outside.
The door has barely closed behind her before she sneezes again, but thatâs no surprise. She knows sheâs not done sneezing, not by far, itâs like her nose is only getting started. Even if she gets away from the allergens, she still has this cold.
And soon enough, so will Crystal.
***
AAYIISSHHHH!
AAATISSSSHHH!!
One⌠two⌠threeâŚ
Angelina hates that sheâs counting, but it has become almost a bizarre game to see how long that guest can drag out the tension between the second and the third sneeze.
Eight⌠nineâŚ
HAAYYESSSSSHHHEW!!!
Angelina raises her eyebrows. Last night she held out for almost twenty seconds. Sheâs either getting tired of her own drama, or her cold is getting worse. Both options seem almost impossible to the hotelâs front desk clerk; that guest is the kind of attention seeker that never gets tired of her own drama, and there is no way that cold can get any worse.
The newlyweds were a problem from the get-go. Well, not the Mister, he is quiet, nerdy, and seems completely submissive to his unbearable wife. But the wife. She was already sick with a horrendous cold when they arrived, sneezing up a storm of altogether uncovered sneezes, and seems to feel itâs her duty to share her misery with everyone. She keeps loudly declaring how she âsimply canât believe her bad luck getting so sick just in time for her honeymoon,â. Angelina thinks it seems more like sheâs in fact very pleased with having caught such an attention-grabbing condition. Or at least caught a condition that allows her to show off those attention-grabbing sneezes.
She has the lung capacity of a goddamn Amazonian warrior anyway, because Angelina can hear her sneeze from the front desk almost no matter where in the hotel the woman is. Thankfully the rooms are mostly soundproof, otherwise Angelina is certain theyâd get disturbance complaints from other guests.
One of the maids disclosed to her that it seems like the woman is actually blowing her nose into the towels and sheets in their suite. Somehow, Angelina isnât surprised. Nor is she surprised when that poor maid comes to work with a nose so red it rivals a certain pop culture reindeerâs, sneezing every five minutes. It must be a biohazard inside that room, with all the cold viruses whirling around in the air and covering every surface.
Heralded by the sneezes, the couple in question comes out to the lobby, dressed for a night on town. The wife certainly isnât dressed like sheâs feeling very sick; the skirt is very short, showing off long, tanned legs, the top is low-cut and sleeveless, the boots high heeled. She does have a jacket with her, but sheâs not wearing it yet.
Her nose is⌠indescribable. Its redness is so intense it almost jumps out at you, as if itâs signalling the danger youâre in if you stand too close when that tickle hits. No makeup can stand a chance against that cold.
A sneezy look comes over her face. She grabs her husbandâs arm.
âWait baby, Iâm gonna⌠Iâm gonnaaaahhhâŚaahhh⌠AAHHâŚ!â
The show is on, Angelina thinks. The same pattern as every time sheâs sneezed since arriving five days ago; not covered, not restrained in any way, if anything she exaggerates.
She has turned to her right, the sneezy look on her face so intense that Angelina almost feels the urge to sneeze herself, just watching her.
âAAAATTSSSHHIIH!â
She sneezes all over her husbandâs arm and hand, even from a distance Angelina can see spatter on his expensive wristwatch.
The sneezy expression doesnât leave her face, and she turns to her other side, releasing the second.
âHAAYISSSSHHHH!!â
This one showers a petite woman who chooses this unfortunate moment to walk past them on her way to her room, and shower is the exact right word. The spray ejected from the sick womanâs mouth and nose is so plentiful it resembles a shower stream when illuminated by the lamplight, and the sneezing woman is almost six feet tall with her high heels on, towering over her petite victim who stands no more than 5â3, tops.
The woman makes a disgusted face and walks faster to escape, but the damage is already done; she has been soaked with that cold.
The dramatically sneezy woman doesnât apologise; she doesnât even notice that she sprayed someone else with her sneeze. Instead she makes a big scene out of sniffling, hitching, and fanning her face with her hand, shaking her head a little as if the tickle is being forced into her nose from the outside and she tries to evade it.
⌠six⌠seven.. eigh-âŚ
And then she snaps forward, using her entire body to deliver this third and most dramatic sneeze, no attempt whatsoever to contain this extreme cold to herself.
âAAAYYYIIIISSSSSSHHIEWW!!!â
A giant cloud of droplets of various sizes sprays out in front of her, much of it falling down over the table and potted plant nearby. The plant probably doesnât mind, but whichever guest sits at that table later, touching the virus-covered surface, might.
Also, some snot flies out of her nose and onto her cleavage.
âOh, eww,â she says, as if she couldnât easily have prevented this outcome herself, and then the husband takes out a tissue and hands it to her.
Now, he hands her a tissue??
But she canât even take it before she erupts again.
âAAAIIISSSSHHH!â
Spraying him head on.
âAAATTSSSSSHHHIH!!â
Spraying a bouquet of flowers in another passing guestâs hand. At least the flowers prevent him from getting it in the face, but Angelina hopes whoever he brings flowers to wonât put their nose into them and smell them, or theyâll inhale a noseful of cold germs too.
âHah⌠ahhhhh⌠AAAH-!â.
That look of dramatic agony, head leaning further and further back, hand wavingâŚ
Three⌠four⌠fiveâŚ
âHAYYYISSSSSHHHIIIH-HAH-! ISCHHH-ISSSCHHHâŚ!!â
Just a momentâs trembling anticipation before the grand finale this time.
âHEYYYYIIISSSHHHOOOO!!!â
Unbelievably enough, that cold actually seems to get worse.
Get out already, Angelina thinks. Go contaminate a club or restaurant downtown with your germs instead.
âYou didnât bless me,â the woman pouts.
âBless you, honey,â the husband says, obediently enough. âWell, do you think we should ask?â he continues, as if heâs not rattled at all by her behaviour.
The wife lets out a drawn-out, snot-filled sniffle while she wipes the mess off her cleavage. She doesnât blow her nose, even though itâs obvious that she needs to. She hands the tissue back to him, and he puts it back in his pocket without blinking. Â
âOkay,â she agrees, and they head towards the front desk, hand in hand.
Towards Angelina, who dearly hopes that the red-nosed germ spreader has sneezed enough now to last her a while.
âExcuse me,â the husband says. Angelina puts on her best customer service smile.
âWhat can I do for you?â
âWeâd like to know which is the best Italian restaurant nearby?â
Angelina knows exactly which the best Italian restaurant near the hotel is, but she is not going to recommend it to them and doom the poor owners to catching that cold. Sheâs mentally going through the other restaurants she knows, and picks one, not quite at random. As it so happens, her cheating ex-girlfriend works there.
She names the restaurant, and the husband asks for directions. Angelina is just about finished giving them when she glances at the wife, who is once again bothered by her cold, scrubbing at her nose with the palm of her hand, sniffling and groaning.
â⌠snrfff⌠ugh⌠snrrrrffff!â
It sounds more like she wants attention for her condition than actual, genuine struggle. Angelina hopes that if she gets it without sneezing, sheâll be pleased enough.
âAre you alright, maâam?â
It feels ridiculous being so polite to someone so ignorant of good manners, but it is her job.
âOh, yes, Iâm fine, itâs just this stupid cold, it makes my nose so⌠ahhh⌠so tihhhâŚtiihhh⌠hihhhâŚâ
Oh God, no, Angelina thinks as she looks at those nostrils, containing her doom, crimson red and ready to explode. Â
This time the sneezy woman deviates from the pattern, but not to Angelinaâs benefit.
âTIHHH-HISSSSCHHHIH! TickhhhlyâŚ. AHHHISSSSSHHH!!â
Both sneezes are sprayed straight ahead, not even a slight turn to the side. Angelina backs up, but the spray range of these sneezes is inescapable and easily cross the desk to where she is.
âAAYIISSSSHHHHIEW!!â
And immediately a desperate gasp and repeat.
âAATIIIISSSSHH!! AAAAYISSSSHHH!â
Shaking her head, looking desperate, but seemingly enjoying the attention sheâs getting from people in the lobby who are staring at the free horror show.
âOh no⌠I gotta⌠aahhh⌠Iâm g-gonna⌠sneeze agaihhh⌠hah-hahh-HAAHDD-RISSSSCHHHHHOO!!!â
She belts out this last sneeze almost triumphantly.
After this fit, the desk is coated in contagious spray. Angelina can still see some mist in the air that hasnât settled yet, the sneezes were that wet. Now she has this womanâs cold in her hair, on her face⌠probably in her nose, too. Sheâs speechless. She looks at the husband, waiting for him to at least offer an apology on behalf of his wife, since it doesnât seem like sheâs going to herself.
What he does is to fish out the tissue and offering it to his wife with a soft âbless you, babeâ, but she declines it. There is a trail of mess running down her face, but she nonchalantly wipes it off with her hand, then wipes her hand on her skirt.
She looks at Angelina, expectantly.
She cannot possibly expect me to bless her after she sneezed her cold all over me, can she? Of course she can. She is the main character in her universe.
âBless you,â Angelina says reluctantly.
âThank you, oh, this cold, oh my gosh you have no idea, Iâve never had a cold quite like it beforeâŚâ
âYes, you have,â the husband reminds her. âRemember when we were in Vegas? You just couldnât stop sneezing when we were playing poker, you were so sick, my poor babe.â
She ignores him, now sheâs basking in attention from Angelina.
âItâs so sneezy! They just come out of the blue, it starts to tickle and itâs so intense, I just canât stop it!â
Really? I'm certain no one around you has noticed, youâre being so discreet about it, Angelina thinks.
Then this hotel guest delivers the ultimate absurdity:
âI reallyhope Iâm not contagious or anything.â
They finally walk out of the lobby and onto the streets. The dramatic sneezes can still be heard for a while, though they get fainter.
Angelina needs a drink.
She really, really needs a drink.
And maybe a decontamination shower.
I can't contain myself any longer, hahaha, here goes! I've had a lot of fun with the last one in particular! đ I very much hope you'll enjoy it too. đ A polite but very ill desk clerk, a cop with a VERY messy cold, and a nurse with the kink having to work alongside an oblivious-to-kink but viciously cold-ridden doctor. Contains some descriptions of masturbation at the end.
Part 3!!!
The hotel desk clerk, a tall, handsome woman in her 30s, whose sharp features would have given her a somewhat intimidating appearance if not for her warm brown eyes, interrupts herself mid-sentence.
She asks the female cop taking statements to hold on a moment, then sneezes into a tissue, gently massages her nose through the tissue for several seconds, and sneezes again before lowering her hand.
It's obvious to Tess that this woman has a really bad cold, no matter how much she tries to be stoic about it. She has sneezed seemingly every couple of seconds the whole time Tess has been here about the fight in the hotel bar, either into a tissue or the crook of her arm. She has dark circles around her pretty eyes, and while she has made an effort with her makeup, the continuous use of the tissues â the one she holds now isnât the first sheâs used since Tess arrived â rubs any powder and foundations off her nose in no time, making it redder and redder as time goes by.
âExcuse me, officer,â she says, quickly dabbing at her nose again as if to make sure nothing has leaked out of it. She has an interesting nose; not exactly big, but with nostrils that are naturally wide, making it look like theyâre constantly flaring. When she breathes, thereâs an almost bubbling sound from inside her sinuses, which she seems quite embarrassed about, but sheâs also reluctant to give her full nose a proper blow in front of an audience.
Tess smiles and tells her itâs fine.
âComing down with something?â she asks, even though itâs glaringly obvious that this cold has asserted dominance over this womanâs sinuses. She is not coming down with anything; she is very, very down with this cold already.
âOh God, yes,â she says and laughs, a raspy laughter that turns into a chesty cough that she smothers into her elbow. There is a bitter, almost angry undertone to that laughter, and as soon as she gets her cough under control, Tess learns why.
âWe had a guest last week who had a really horrible cold and never covered her mouth when she sneezed. Just sneezed freely no matter where she was. I could have caught it at any time during her stay, of course, she was spreading it everywhere, but I think it happened the evening before they checked out. She sneezed all over me; I wish I was exaggerating, but she really did. It canât be that hard to cover your mouth, can it?â
Tess, who rarely covers her mouth when she sneezes either â who wants snot and spit in their hands or on their clothes, honestly? â only hums in response.
âEither way, Iâm confident I caught whatever sneeze plague she had. I nevehhhâŚâ
Her naturally flared nostrils flares even wider, almost impossibly wide in Tessâs opinion, and then brings her hand back up to capture the sneezes in her spent tissue.
âEehhmptschhoo! EhhmpSSSHHoo! HahâŚMPTSSCHoo! âscuse me again, oh my God! I never sneeze this much from a cold normally,â the desk clerk says and shakes her head, still with the tissue to her face. âItâs not even as bad as hers, but it only started two days ago. I donât think it has peaked yet.â
She pinches her nose in the tissue and rubs it, up and down, trying to alleviate an itch that seems relentless.
âSounds like you need to take a sick day,â Tess remarks.
âYeah, right,â comes the sardonic response, followed by a wet noseblow as she finally accepts that she canât make it through this conversation without blowing her nose. âIf Iâm gone one day, this whole place falls apart.â
Tess thinks it looks like this woman is the one whoâs about to fall apart, but keeps her mouth shut.
That noseblow proved too much for the heroic tissue, and the cold-ridden woman disposes of it in the trashcan, which is already housing many of its fallen comrades. She then immediately takes a new one from a box thatâs two-thirds empty, and rushes to get it up to her face before she has to sneeze again. She does manage to catch the sneezes, but itâs at the last moment.Â
âHehssshhoo! Essshhhooo! HgnnNTSSSHHoo! Oh my Gohh-hhhESSSHHHHoo! God, âscuse me, I⌠hhhESSSHHHHoo! Iâm so sorry about thisâŚâ
Tess waves it off. Sheâs not here to interview the clerk about her cold, notable as it may be.
âCan you tell me anything else about the incident?â
âI think thatâs it,â she says, once more massaging her nose with the tissue she just sneezed into. âI only saw parts of the brawl; I called you right away.â
âAs you should,â Tess says and smiles. The woman in front of her looks completely drained, but she manages to return the smile as she removes the tissue from her face. Her cheeks are flushed, either because of the force of the sneezes or because sheâs embarrassed. Maybe sheâs running a fever, too. If her job is as stressful as she alludes to, sheâs bound to get a bad run of every illness she catches.
âWell, if you think of anything else that can be of help, no matter how small, call me,â Tess says and stands up, handing over a card with her cell phone number and the number to the station.
âItâs embarrassing, we never have bar fights in our hotel bar,â the woman says, and she sounds almost offended.
âNever say never,â Tess says. âWhenever thereâs alcohol and people at the same place, fights can happen. Actually, whenever thereâs more than one person in one place, fights can happen, especially if there is a pre-existing disagreement underneath, as seems to be the case here.â
âI suppose,â the sick woman replies, balling up the tissue and rubs it under her irritated nose, first lightly, then harder, really pressing it up against the underside of her flared nostrils. It looks painful against the already chafed skin, but she doesnât stop. Her eyes get an unfocused, sneezy look in them, but she visibly fights it off and exhales in whatâs half relief, half disappointment.
How itchy is that nose anyway? Tess wonders.
âWeâre getting this sorted,â she promises and extends her hand. The other woman only looks at it first, hesitating.
âI should probably not shake hands, I donât want to pass this on,â she says, gesturing to her face with the hand holding the very well used tissue. Her nose is the main recipient of the gesture, Tess presumes. That progressively redder, nostril-flaring nose. âI promise you, officer, you do not want this cold.â
âOh, donât worry, I never get sick,â Tess says in a flippant tone.
âNever say never, was it?â, the woman responds, her eyebrows raised, but when Tess doesnât pull her hand back, she takes it briefly.
âFeel better,â Tess offers, and then she goes to find her partner, whoâs been interviewing the other staff.
Behind her, Angelina sneezes again into another tissue, over and over, grateful that the cop has left so she doesnât have to struggle so hard to hold them back as much as possible. For every time she has sneezed during this conversation, she has held back an additional two sneezes. She has never been this sneezy before in her entire life, and that says a lot because she has pretty awful allergies early in spring. This is something else entirely.
She hopes the handshake hasnât doomed the policewoman to the same miserable fate, but she did insist on it and Angelina was careful to cover her sneezes.
What she doesnât really think about is that she held her tissue in her right hand â or both hands â and thoughtlessly moved it to her left hand to shake the other womanâs hand. She has been sneezing and blowing her nose so much into each tissue that she can feel the wetness through them, in fact thatâs when she decides to toss it and grab a fresh one. She doesnât want to waste tissues when she is going to need every single one to get her through the day. So no matter how careful she has been to cover every sneeze, there were still viruses in that handshake, now passed over to Tessâs hand.
Walking out to the lobby where her colleague waits, Tess reaches into her pocket and takes out some Tums. All the coffee sheâs had on an empty stomach today doesnât sit well with her, but itâs okay, itâll be better in a little bit.
It doesnât cross her mind that sheâs touching the antacids with the same hand she just shook the sick desk clerkâs hand with, and then puts them in her mouth. But even if it had crossed her mind, it wouldnât have made a difference, because the cold-ridden woman had covered her sneezes so carefully, and besides, Tess never gets sick anyway. A little heartburn from way too much coffee is the only thing that bothers her healthy, athletic, fit body.
***
âAaaaSSSCHHOO-ASSSCHHOO-hah-GEHSSSHHH-OOOâŚ!! Hahh-HARRGGSSHH! Fuck be!â
âHoly fucking shit, Tee,â her partner Ben says, laughing. He is driving and that is a good thing because Tess can not stop sneezing today. Itâs only getting worse. They come with no warning, just a sharp pinprick in her nose and off she goes; there is nothing she can do about it but let them out.
âI kdow, she says and scrubs at her nose with her knuckles. âUgh⌠srrrrfff. This cold really hit be like a tod of bricks. Snnrrrkkk. GuhhâŚ-AAAH-RGSSSCCHHGH!-snrrrkk. Iâb so stuffed up itâs dot eved fuddy. ARGGSCHHHH!â
âHereâs a radical suggestion; blow your nose,â he says.
âI would if I could⌠snnrrrfff⌠dothig cobes out⌠huhrresscchhh!â
âWell, stuff sure comes out when you sneeze, anyway,â he says.
âAre you saying Iâb gross?â
He shrugs, grinning.
âIf the shoe fitsâŚâ
âI didnât kdow you were such a gerbaphobe,â she says.
âIâm not,â he replies, âIâm just making an observation.â
âHARRGSSSCHHH!â Tess sneezes without abandon and a string of clear snot is violently ejected from her tormented nose along with copious amounts of substantial spray. Some is spattered across the glove compartment in front of her, most is on the front of her uniform.
âAs I was saying,â Ben says and hands her a napkin with a small, dried coffee stain but otherwise clean.
Tess takes the napkin and grumpily wipes her nose and uniform. The droplets covering the glove compartment will dry on its own, no one but her and Ben will see it anyway and she canât be bothered. She is annoyed with her nose not giving her any warning; she usually has plenty of time to turn away and sneeze to the side or towards the ground. Also, she has always been a messy sneezer, but this cold makes them messier than normal.
âI cadt help it,â she says, âI cadt feel theb cobig.â
âTee, if you donât blow your nose soon Iâm going to need a translator to understand you,â Ben says as he pulls into the parking lot of a gas station and convenience store.
âFide, Iâll get sobe tissues while you fill up od gas,â she says and gets out of the car.
When she returns from the convenience store, sheâs already on the second tissue, blowing her nose with all her might while walking towards Ben, who laughs again.
âNothing coming out, huh,â he says as she tosses the two used tissues in a trash bin as she walks past it, then digs out a third tissue from the puny travel pack she bought.
âNow itâs all coming out at once,â she grunts and sneezes again, this time taking advantage of the force of the sneeze to blow her nose. She hasnât fully gotten the tissue up to cover her cold-tortured nostrils though, so Ben is treated to the unpleasant view of her nose ridding itself of a wealth of mess in one strong blast.
âGod, thereâs so much snot,â Tess comments, both disgusted and fascinated by her bodyâs expulsions.
âYeah, I kind of noticed,â her partner says as she cleans herself up, blows her nose for a fourth time, and discards the used tissues.
âHow do I sound now? â she says.
âSay something with lots of nâs and mâs, â he asks her.
She thinks for a moment.
âCinnamon buns and MânâMâs.â
He nods with a perfectly straight face.
âYeah, I think I can get by without a translator now.â
She gives him the finger and opens the door on the passenger side, but just as sheâs about to get in, another sneeze sneaks up on her.
âUH-ASSSSHHH!â
Tess snaps forward as with every sneeze before this one, but this time the car door is in front of her and she whacks her head against it, hard enough to split her eyebrow. Blood starts gushing.
âFuck, that hurt,â she says, dizzy from both the impact and the sneeze. Ben takes one look at it and cringes.
âYeah, weâre going straight to the ER, you might need stitches,â he says.
Tess objects, but itâs only symbolic; it hurts like a motherfucker.
***
âHow did this happen?â Dr Jasmine Ashford asks. Sheâs the head of the hospitalâs emergency department, and right now she may be a bit rougher in her examination than sheâd be with a civilian; she is not overly fond of the police force in this city. Far too many of them shoot first and ask questions later, causing rather than preventing the influx of gunshot wounds to the ER, and then they come in with fairly minor injuries expecting to be treated first.
âOww, careful, Doc! I just split my entire head open!â
Jasmine rolls her eyes. Minor injury, major drama.
âI know it looks concerning with all the blood, but head wounds always bleed a lot. Itâs really just a scratch, you donât even need stitches. Iâll just clean this out and tape it. Now, how did this happen?â
The cop looks uncomfortable. Her cheeks begin to flush red, a similar shade to that of her nose. She is visibly and audibly sick with a really bad cold on top of everything, and frankly looks and sounds like she should be home in bed rather than out in uniform.
âWell?â
âI sneezed.â
âYou⌠sneezed?â Jasmine doesnât smile, her face is completely expressionless, but behind her stoneface she is amused. Not by the injury itself; sheâs not so callous she thinks anyone deserves to be in pain, but by the ridiculous way she acquired it.
âYes. I sneezed. So what?â
âWell, Iâve seen burst eardrums and burst blood vessels in the eyes and even a cracked rib from sneezing too hard, but Iâve never seen a head laceration caused by sneezing. Humour me, please. Do elaborate.â
âI hit my head on the patrol car door when I sneezed.â
This time the briefest expression of amusement crosses the doctorâs face as she begins to tape the laceration.
âOuch.â
âYeah. Itâs this fucking coldâs fault, the sneezes just take me by surprise,â the cop mutters, and, as if on cue, she whips her head to the side â Jasmine scowls, knowing she has to start over with the taping â and sneezes over her shoulder. âHuuh-GGTTSSCHHGH!-snrrrrfff-GUHHESSSCHHHoo!â
The sneezes are wet and snotty, and without a word, Jasmine hands her a tissue so she can clean herself up.
âCan you get me anything for this cold? snrrrrffff. Itâs fucking killing me.â
âIf you plan to keep banging your head against things when you sneeze, that does sound like a valid concern,â the doctor says dryly, âbut if you avoid doing that from now on, this cold isnât going to kill you. There are over-the-counter medications to ease the symptoms.â
âThose things donât do shit.â
âNo, they actually donât,â the doctor agrees, âbut itâs the best we got. Thereâs no cure for the common cold.â
âFuck.â
âYeah, well, a cold is nothing compared to a lot of things we see here in the ER, so⌠just drink lots of clear fluids â by that I mean water â and rest, let it run its course. Maybe put on a helmet so you donât hit your head again,â she adds as an afterthought while she starts over with taping the laceration on the copâs forehead.
âVery funny, Doc.â But she does smile.
âThank you, Iâm doing stand-up comedy as a side gig.â
âDonât quit your day job.â
Jasmine chuckles.
The uniformed woman leans her head back a little.
âHold still please, Iâm just about done,â the doctor says and looks away from the laceration sheâs been taping just in time to see the patientâs red nostrils, gleaming with mucus, flare wide and her mouth fall open, sucking in air in a deep gasp. The doctor takes a step back, but sheâs a moment too late.
âAAARSSSSCHHUH-AH!-HARRGGSSSSHHHuuh ! â
Jasmine winces when she feels the spray on her face. Itâs not that she hasnât been sprayed and splashed with all kinds of body fluids before; of course she has, she works in the ER. Itâs that as much as she trivialised the common cold when speaking to the patient, she absolutely despises having one herself. She is a woman who very rarely, almost never, gets sick with anything. She is among those few lucky enough to carry the gene that makes her immune to the norovirus, she has no chronic illnesses, allergies or sensitivities, and she hasnât had a cold in five years or so. But in the rare instances that she does catch a cold, it goes straight to her nose and tends to stay there for the whole duration. Itâs like an endless goddamn carnival of sneezing and noseblowing. It never goes to her chest but it tends to linger in her sinuses, keeping her in that loop of sniffling, sneezing and blowing her nose for even longer than any normal person is symptomatic from a cold.
There is no reason to believe this will be the cold that gets her when she has treated God knows how many people who have coughed in her face the past few weeks, and come out of it perfectly fine, but the risk is there and itâs a thought sheâd rather not entertain.
The patient wipes her nose and looks at her with a sincere apologetic expression.
âSorry, Doc. I told you, they come out of nowhere. It caught me off guard.â
Jasmine sighs and finishes the taping. Â
âDonât worry about it. It happens. Iâll get you some Ibuprofen for the pain,â she says and walks off, taking a detour to the bathroom and washes her face.
Sheâll be fine. It may be a potent cold, but her track record all but guarantees sheâll get out of todayâs little mishap unscathed. Â
***
ER nurse Caitlyn cannot believe her luck when Dr Ashford, head of the ER, comes in for her shift a few days later, dragging an absolutely frothy headcold with her. That cute cop with the wicked heavy cold sneezed her right in the face a couple of days ago, but Caitlyn has seen similar things happen before and Dr Ashford never caught a thing from either patients or colleagues. That woman simply never gets sick. Flu season after flu season, Caitlyn has been working the same shifts as this doctor, and even when the entire staff passes something back and forth, she never gets as much as a sniffle. Caitlyn has hoped to see her with a cold someday but never dared to believe she actually would. But now that glorious day has come.
Jasmine is a beautiful woman in general, but Caitlynâs favourite feature of hers is her striking nose, itâs so majestically chiselled that it could have been a work of art â not the kind of symmetrically perfected, boring art that the plastic surgeons up on the fifth floor create, but the distinct, unique kind only nature does and only when it feels particularly forthcoming. Itâs very prominent but not to a point where it completely takes over her face, itâs angular in just the right places, curved in just the right places, with an ever so slightly upturned tip and arched nostrils that allows you to see a bit of its inside. Itâs a fantastic nose, but unfortunately also very resilient; Caitlyn has never seen her sneeze, not even a random sneeze, much less from a cold.
Today, this gorgeous nose is an angry scarlet red, from the tip to high up on the bridge. The rims of her nostrils are even more irritated, burning with a miserable yet somehow elegant shade of ruby red. The glimpse into the even more irritated inside of her nose reveals that itâs glistening with moisture, threatening to spill out of those cold-battered nostrils at the slightest provocation⌠such as breathing. Â
Caitlyn has never seen this nose look so sensitive before, and the prospects of finally getting to see her sneeze are good, to say the least. The flaming redness from the viral infection suits her nose beautifully, just like Caitlyn has pictured in her mind many times, usually at home with one hand down her pants.
Jasmine, unaware of the delight her dreadful cold brings to her colleague, is focused on the prickle that seems to fill her entire nose. She furiously rubs the heel of her hand against her hot, squishing, liquid-filled nostrils, then pushes the tip of her nose upwards â leaving a very distinct horizontal crease across the bridge â while giving a thick, repulsive snort.
ââŚsnrrrkkkkâŚâ
âGood morning, doctor,â Caitlyn chirps, unable to completely hide her selfish joy to see this beautiful, always in-control woman practically overflowing with something she cannot control at all.
âIt is not,â the doctor deadpans, then buries her face in the sleeve of her lab coat and aggressively barks out a dry-sounding one-syllable sneeze. It sounds like her sinuses are so blocked with congestion that nothing shifts inside, so the full power of the sneeze has to force itself out through her throat, clawing at her vocal cords on its way out.
Dry sneezes arenât Caitlynâs favourite type, but Jasmineâs sneeze is fantastic nevertheless. The angry desperation in the sound, itâs delicious.
âOh, bless you. Why not? â
Oh, she knows she shouldnât push her luck like this, but she has worked with Jasmine for several years and has never seen her as much as touch her nose before. To see her display this formidable cold and being grouchy about it, is so hot that Caitlyn feels a little bit lightheaded.
It turns out Jasmine may hate having a cold, but she has no objections to talking about it.
âItâs not a good morning because I have a raging head cold of⌠snrrkkk⌠of epic proportions and⌠snrrgggkkk⌠and m-my nose is⌠is⌠haahh-âŚâ
She buries her nose and mouth in the crook of her arm again, barking out another rough, very sick-sounding sneeze, only wetter this time.
â-RAHESSSCHHooo! â
âBless you, doctor.â It almost comes out as a purr.
 â Problematic,â the doctor finishes as if Caitlyn hadnât said anything, and pours hand sanitizer into her hands, rubbing it in with a look of utter gloom on her face.Â
That lovely nose being problematic today, huh? Caitlyn immediately decides to stay close to Jasmine this shift. She wants to see more of this.
She gets her wish right away; perhaps itâs the strong fumes from the hand sanitizer, perhaps her nose just really is that sensitive from this cold, but the gloomy look on Jasmineâs face is slowly replaced by a pre-sneeze expression. Itâs the sneeziest pre-sneeze expression Caitlyn has ever seen, and she is something of a connoisseur on the subject; itâs like every fine muscle in in Jasmineâs face is perfectly tuned to create the optimal pre-sneeze face.
Jasmine holds up a finger in that universal âhold onâ-gesture.
âI feel more coming,â she says in a breathy voice and slowly begins to raise her arm, but not covering prematurely, meaning Caitlyn is treated to more of this unintentional visual erotica.
The sick doctorâs pre-sneeze face is a study in itchy suffering, from the trembling, parted lips to the deep-red, needy nostrils, to the fluttering eyelids and the fine lines between her eyebrows becoming visible. A tear begins to run down her cheek as she squeezes her eyes shut.
âOh God,â she whimpers, then leans into the crook of her arm, sneezing heavily. It sounds almost like sheâs wrestling these sneezes out of her agonised airways, slamming them into the sleeve of her white coat. Her shoulders shudder from the force.
âAAATT-JIHHSSSSHHH!! HATTT-JIHHSSSCHHHoo!!â
âBless you, doctor! Wow, are you okay?â
Jasmine shakes her head, still with her face hidden in her elbow, eyes closed. She takes a deep sniffly breath before lowering her arm.
âDoh, Iâb dot okay. This cold is ad idsult.â
She sniffles again.
âI deed a tissue,â she says and walks away, sniffling thickly, as if those sneezes loosened up the congestion which is now flooding her nose.
If so, Caitlyn thinks âaâ tissue, singular, is very optimistic.
***
Jasmine certainly has problems with her nose today. She is a complete mess. She keeps blowing her nose with a thick, gurgling, wet sound and yet her nose is still overflowing with cold. She sneezes into the sleeves of her lab coat. She sneezes into tissues she has stuffed into her pockets, or which are readily offered by Caitlyn or other staff. She sneezes into the collar of the warm, soft knitted sweater sheâs wearing under her lab coat. She sniffles, she snorts, she sneezes. She comments on how her nose feels. She sneezes. She complains about her cold. She sneezes. She does not apologise about her excessive sneezing. And she sneezes.Â
To Caitlyn it feels like the entire shift consists of phrases and nose-based sounds like
âWhere are the⌠uh, hold on, I have to sneeze⌠AaESSSCHHH! Ugh, this damn cold⌠where are the discharge forms?.
âWait, Iâm so itchy⌠hahh⌠harusssshhh! ERSSSSHHHHuh! Ugh... you were saying?â
â⌠snnnrrrkkk⌠ugh Iâb so congested agaid I canât breathe through by dose⌠snrrrrgggkkkkâŚâ
 âAnd of course now my nose is running like a faucet instead.â
âDid you do a⌠test⌠uhh⌠for⌠whatâs it called⌠arrgh, I canât even think today! My entire head is full of snot, there are no brain cells at work anymore. HuhASSCHHH! Pregnancy test, oh my God!â
âThis is ridiculous, I need to sneeze so much⌠I swear this cold is a punishment from a higher powerREESSSHHHH!â
âUh-oh, here we go agaihh⌠HATSSSHHHH! ERRASSHHH! HAESSSSHHHEH! I just canât stop sneezihhNGGSSSSHHHIEW! Isssschhew! HARRSSHHHOohh! Yes, of course Iâm sick, you think Iâm sneezing like this for the sheer fun of it?â
âOh come on, why do I need to sneeze againâŚ?! ATSSCHHHihh-ISSSSHHHIH-HITSSSSHHHOOO! Snrrrrfff⌠Am I done? Please tell me Iâm done⌠no⌠haahh⌠HATSSSHHHOO!â
âUgh, my nose⌠itâs soâŚI still feel a sn-⌠sn-issschoo-isschhih-ahhissshhh! Ghh-ISSSHHH-ESSSHHHOO-ESSSHHHIH-whatthehellisthisSSHHHOOO!!â
âUgh, I feel like someoneâs shoved a feather up my nose, it tickles so much, right here, and I canâtâŚ. I canâtTIEEESSSHHHH! ESSSSCHHHOO! I canât get rid of itâŚâ
A few hours of listening to this endless cold-tickle-congestion-sneeze-related whinging, feeling like sheâs in the middle of a sneezefic, Caitlyn is about ready to hump the good doctorâs leg. If it had been a busy shift she would have had something else to occupy her mind, but itâs been very slow.
When an emergency does come in, Jasmine calls for Caitlyn and gives her the most jaw-dropping task imaginable.
âI need you to wipe my nose for me.â
âHuh??â
Caitlyn is sure she misheard that. There is no way she actually said what Caitlyn thought she heard.
But Jasmine repeats the thing that Caitlyn thought she couldnât possibly have heard. When Caitlyn just stares at her, dumbfounded, the doctor decides to clarify.
âI need both hands, my nose is running, and I obviously canât drip on the patient. Itâs no different from wiping sweat off a surgeonâs brow, get over here and bring the tissues!â
Caitlyn would argue that itâs very, very different for many reasons, but she has sprung into action automatically; thereâs a patient that needs help and if she has to do something incredibly erotic for the oblivious doctor in order to do her part, then so be it.
At first, she just takes one tissue and wipes off the mess that leaks out of those red, feverishly hot nostrils, dabbing at the underside of her nose with a hand that wants to tremble but that she wonât allow to.
âThat tickles,â Jasmine says in a breathy voice. âYouâre gonna make me sneehhâŚâ
Before she can finish the sentence or do what her body threatens (or promises) to do, Caitlyn snatches a whole bunch of tissues and holds them over her nose and her mouth, and itâs just in time too because Jasmine, trying and failing to hold back, sneezes a really messy, closed-mouthed, half-stifle into Caitlynâs tissue-covered hand. She takes a sharp, deep breath that is muffled by the tissues, and sneezes again. This time she doesnât even attempt to stifle. Sheâs clearly not good at it anyway.
â..haaGH-YIIH-ESSSSHHHOO ! âÂ
âBless you, doctor,â Caitlyn says. Itâs an incredibly sexy-sounding sneeze, making her swoon for a moment, and sheâs relieved she manages to avoid moaning out loud when blessing her.
âJesus fucking Christ,â Jasmine mutters, ignoring the blessing like Caitlyn suspected she would. Itâs alright. She says it mostly for her own pleasure anyway.
Somehow Jasmine has managed to keep the pressure steady while the other doctor is intubating. Caitlyn is standing close enough that she can feel Jasmineâs breath hitching throughout her body. Her chest is rising and falling in erratic waves before she sneezes into Caitlynâs hand again. Hard.
âESSCHHHOO! ISSCHHHOO! ESSCHHOO-EESSCHHHAH!â A viscous, snoring inhale, followed by a harsh, snotty âHARRUSSCHHH!â that is so forceful that Caitlyn only barely manages to keep the tissues clasped over the lower part of her face.Â
âBless you, doctor,â Caitlyn says again, again the blessing is ignored.
âThis isnât going to work,â Jasmine says, âjust put a mask on me, please.â
Why didnât you put one on yourself right away, before you sanitized your hands and put on gloves? Caitlyn wonders but doesnât say out loud. Most likely she just didnât think about it; if she usually never gets sick, anything that has to do with working through a cold just isnât that close to mind.
Another nurse grabs a mask from the container on the shelf and hands it to Caitlyn, who currently functions on two levels; one is the stone-cold professional that just does what needs to be done, the other is fluttering around in the clouds of lalaland feeling like sheâs practically jacking off the head of the emergency department in front of God and everyone.
âOkay, blow your nose first and then Iâll put the mask on you,â Caitlyn says to the doctor, whose nose may be a disaster zone, but her hands are still professional, working on muscle memory, they are not distracted by whatâs going on above her shoulders.
âFucking cold,â Jasmine mutters, âis there any limit to this humiliation?â But she takes a deep breath and blows as hard as she can into the bundle of tissues Caitlyn holds over her nose. Caitlyn can feel it through the layers of paper, the hot, contagious mess drenching the tissues, and there is far more of it than she thought. Luckily the trashcan is close enough that she can drop the whole wad into it right away. She canât wipe the residual wetness off the other womanâs face, the tissues are far too soaked for that, so when she puts the mask on her, it sticks to her skin. Jasmine makes a grimace behind the face covering.
âBetter double-mask me,â she says in a clipped tone, and Caitlyn puts a second layer of surgical mask on her. The mask is barely in place over the first when Jasmine lets loose with a colossal, watery sneeze. And another, and another. Undeterred, she starts giving orders through the sneezes, and Caitlyn wonders briefly if sheâs in heaven or in hell while she calls up to surgery to see if they can take over the patient.
Once the patient is stable and wheeled off to surgery, Jasmine disappears. Caitlyn has a good idea of where; the ladiesâ room. Sheâs going to clean herself up, because she must have sneezed almost a dozen squelching wet sneezes into that mask and gotten all of it ricocheting back in her face.
Caitlyn doesnât follow her. On one hand itâs due to a sense of guilt mixed with sympathy: she thinks Jasmine deserves a little bit of privacy, without being quite so enthusiastically sexualised by her perverted colleague. On the other itâs basic self-preservation: she fears that if sheâs subjected to one more thing originating from Jasmineâs anguished sinuses in the next few minutes, be it sound or fluid, sheâs simply going to cum in her pants.
âWow,â her nurse colleague says, leaning against the wall. âWhat a cold she caught. I hope weâre not all going to catch that monster from her. Iâve never even heard her sneeze before, much less having full-out sneezing fits like that.â
I hope I catch it, Caitlyn thinks. She doesnât enjoy getting sick herself, despite her odd little kink, but sheâs making an exception for Jasmine. There is something wildly sensual about the idea of having her viruses inside her own body.
âShe canât help it,â she says. âWeâre always a physician short here, she canât call in sick for a cold either way.â
âI know. Poor Dr Ashford,â the other nurse says.
âI donât need to be pitied,â Jasmine says from behind them, as if she hasnât spent the whole shift âinformingâ (which was really very thinly veiled complaining) everyone about every detail of her misery.
The other nurse excuses herself and scurries away, not wanting to test the exact level of grouchiness this cold gives the doctor.
Jasmine sighs. She looks a bit embarrassed.
âThank you for helping me out earlier. That got really disgusting, Iâm sorry about that.â
âItâs fine. Donât worry about it.â I should be the one thanking you, she adds in her head.
âHave you heard from surgery? Howâs the patient doing?â
âBetter than you are, I think,â Caitlyn hazards a joke.
âGood God, letâs hope so, because I feel like Iâm at deathâs door,â Jasmine says and rolls her eyes. âBefore you say anything, yes, I am indeed going to complain the rest of the shift, if weâre supposed to have gender equality, then I can and will have man flu instead of a plain cold.â
âFor what itâs worth, that cold sounds bad enough to qualify,â Caitlyn says, and Jasmine laughs. Itâs a raspy, wheezy laughter, but itâs genuine enough.
âSorry to say, but I think you might find that out for yourself in a day or two,â Jasmine says and blows her nose.
âIâŚâ hope so, is what Caitlyn almost says. âIâll be fine,â she corrects herself.
âLetâs hope. By the way, I meant what I said; I donât need to be pitied. I am very good at pitying myself, itâs a real talent of mine, so I donât need others to. Just let me keep at it, thatâs how I cope.â
Caitlyn chuckles.
âGot it.â
âAaaand now Iâm going to sneeze again,â Jasmine says in a resigned tone. She twirls her hand in front of her face while sheâs building up to it; itâs not that âdramatic fanningâ thing that some girls do, this is more of an impatient gesture; âhurry up!â
Caitlyn is watching as the sneeze takes hold of the doctor little by little. Itâs a slowly building, torturous sneeze, but eventually she explodes into the already used tissues sheâs holding.
âAaaRSSSHHHuh! HaRSSSHHHHuh!â
They scrape at her throat and it sounds like it hurts.
Caitlyn has cooled off enough that she can handle it without a panty emergency. Barely.
âBless you, doctor,â Caitlyn says again, not expecting any answer this time either. But Jasmine gives her an exhausted smile.
âThank you. Now I need coffee, or Iâll fall asleep in a corner somewhere before the shift is over.â
âGood idea.â
âWhich one? Coffee or falling asleep in a corner?â
Caitlyn laughs.
âBoth sound good, but coffee is probably best while on the clock.â
âUnfortunately, you are correct,â Jasmine says and leaves to get that coffee. She sneezes several times walking down the corridor, head bobbing forward with harsh, noisy sneezes into wilting tissues.
Caitlyn lingers, not sure if all this is really happening or if sheâs having the most vivid sneeze dream of her life.
***
Caitlyn knows that sheâs needed at work, and the cold that she indeed caught from Jasmine isnât anywhere near as bad, at least not yet, but she calls in sick anyway. She wonât miss out on further dreamy observations in doing so; Jasmine gave up a few hours into yesterdayâs shift and went home, declaring that she would go hide under a rock for the rest of the week, and if they needed her, they should think long and hard about it and then call in someone else. No one has quite figured out yet what to even make of Dr Ashford with a cold, other than a collective âwhat the hell was that?â.
Caitlyn doesnât want to pass this cold on, that is one reason to stay home, but she would be utterly useless either way because now that she has processed the whole thing, she is endlessly horny thinking back at the sexy doctorâs nasty, sexy cold, and how Caitlyn somehow held out the entire shift without touching herself.
Now sheâs going to make up for that self-restraint; she canât stop thinking about how it felt to hold that tissue to Jasmineâs red-hot, streaming nose and wipe the mess off her chafed philtrum, to feel her wet, contagious sneezes through the layers of Kleenex, and to innocently say âbless you, doctorâ every time that ailing, dripping, reddened nose erupted with yet another one of those offensively messy sneezes.
Her clit is throbbing just recalling these memories. Sheâs had multiple orgasms â fits of them, you could say, as intense as the sneezing fits Jasmineâs delicious cold gave her â numerous times already, but her craving pussy still wants more.
Caitlyn rolls over on her back in bed, closes her eyes and thinks back to what it was like, putting the mask on the helplessly cold-ridden doctor and how she immediately sneezed over and over into that mask without holding back even the slightest, such desperate and such juicy sneezes, she must have nearly drowned in her own cold behind that mask and yet Caitlyn knew her nose still wouldnât stop tickling because those strong, torturous sneezes just kept coming, those awfully wet sneezes, those indecently juicy sneezes⌠no, letâs call it what it was, snotty sneezes, such snotty sneezes just exploding right into that flimsy little mask, her exquisite, ticklish nose sneezing out torrents of mess⌠it was shocking how such an elegant nose was capable of producing such loud, uncontrollable noises and a deluge of something as inelegant as snotâŚÂ
Caitlynâs hand goes back inside her panties for the umptieth time since she got home after That Shift, the cotton fabric is as drenched with her juices as Jasmineâs tissues were drenched with snot, her swollen folds hot and wet, her clit steadily pounding with need, needing this orgasm as badly as Jasmineâs nose needed the sneeze, and she only has to touch herself for a few seconds before she reaches climax, riding the wave of multiple orgasms again and they feel even better this time than any of the many times before⌠but she still knows it wonât be the last time sheâll need to do something about the state the doctorâs godawful cold puts her in.
The cold may be awful, but oh, the orgasms⌠the orgasms are amazing!
Belated reblog. I can't even. This is almost too good. Might have to write something similar in the future. Not soon though. And probably not here.
this cold is so deep in my nose





