runinfan

No one ever SAYS that, but the undercurrent is disturbingly present in the fandom. No one would SAY “Wow Kit is really great for dealing with Ty” but that shit oozes from some posts.

All the people who imply Kit has “coped” with so much with Ty, all the people who totally invalidate Ty’s displays of love as less important than Kit’s (“ohhh Kit was REJECTED or FRIENDZONED (which isn’t a thing and also isn’t a BAd thing), Kit has his heart BROKEN”), this one is for you:

Yes. Yes he did. And is that kind of lack of understanding part and parcel of being in love with someone who’s autistic? Yeah, sometimes.

Kit is not a martyr for loving someone with autism, just like my friends aren’t saints for loving me, just like the girl I’m dating isn’t angelic for dating me.

Autistic people - disabled people in general - aren’t charity cases. We aren’t loved “in spite” of our disability - or we shouldn’t be. We should be loved by people who don’t love us “in spite” but “with” our disability or (even better) because of it!

The girl I’m seeing said she likes me because she likes that I will say things to her that no one else would ever say and that makes her feel special. I say that she makes me feel like when i laugh moths in my stomach see the light from my mouth and start dancing in my stomach. She likes that she can tell I’ve had a good date because I skip. She likes seeing me stim when I’m happy or when she compliments me. I am not a charity case.

Ty is not “interesting” or “unique” or “quirky” or all those things. He’s not a science project. He isn’t “hard work” to love. He isn’t a story of love against all odds.

He isn’t someone to love against all odds.

He’s someone Kit loves. End of.

And the people who seem to think Ty will be someone totally different after the Scholomance, all the TWP!era headcanons that make him more neurotypical, like he’ll just “grow out” of being autistic is equally aggravating. Truthfully, autism does change a bit over time in the ways it manifests, but between like 15 and 19, through puberty, it’s pretty consistent. Puberty can even cause regression, meaning autism seems more “intense”. Your Scholomance!Ty shouldn’t be neurotypically-coded. Your Scholomance!Ty shouldn’t suddenly magically adjust to a “mainstream” schooling environment.

No one - not Julian, not Livvy, not Kit, NO ONE - is a good person for loving Ty. No one deserves praise for loving him. The perpetuation of this shit is what continues the myth that autistic people can’t or don’t date, can’t be loved or be in relationships with neurotypical people.

So often I hear “why would you date a neurotypical person?” from an NT. I know exactly what they mean. I know they mean “why would a normal person date someone with autism? Why would they pick you over someone who’s less work?”

And to that I say: you’ve clearly never met an autistic person. We’re a goddamn privilege to love. We are not high maintenance or hard work, we’re not charity cases or science experiments. We’re just people craving the same stupid thing as everyone else: someone to care about us.

So, in summary:

Ty isn’t about to grow out of being autistic so note that down TWP!era fic writers

No one deserves praise for loving Ty

Kit doesn’t deserve a medal for loving someone with autism

Like Jesus Christ oh my god really??? Like REALLY???

Please stop glorifying loving someone??? Who happens to have a neurological condition??? Jesus????

Seriously. Stop.

Was she now a goddess or a monster? Perhaps neither. Perhaps both.