All I wanted was forever

my therapist said: overcoming trauma is all about forgiveness and a positive attitude and i said: how do you forgive someone who doesn’t even think they did anything wrong

I felt like crying but nothing came out. It was just a sort of sad sickness, sick sad, when you can’t feel any worse. I think you know it. I think everybody knows it now and then. But I think I have known it pretty often, too often.

Don’t be mad when she finally lets go and ends up with someone who actually gives a damn about her. Your Loss.

I’m human. I have weaknesses, I make mistakes, and I experience sadness; but I learn from all these things and they make me a better person.

Don’t be mad when she finally lets go and ends up with someone who actually gives a damn about her. Your Loss.

You were once wild here. Don’t let them tame you.

“ Ladies know your worth, don’t ever come ‘second’ in his life when you’re good enough to be ‘first’ in someone else’s. ”

Do yourself a favor and learn how to walk away. When a connection starts to fade, Learn how to let it go. When a person starts to mistreat you, learn how to move on.. to something and someone better. Don’t waste your energy trying to force something that isn’t meant to be.. Because the truth is.. for every one person who doesn’t value you - there are tons more waiting to love you better. Do better.

I hope you find someone who doesn’t make you sad at night and someone who reminds you how much they love you every day and who laughs at your jokes and wants to listen to your music and who genuinely what’s to be with you and doesn’t make you second guess their love for you. I really hope you find that. Because you deserve that.

“ You can try to forget what happened, but you can never forget what you felt. ”

And each time he was back, he gave a farewell harsher than the last. في كل مرة كان يعود فيها، يمنحني وداعا أقسى من الذي يسبقه

Listen to me I know you love him I know that you need him in your life I know that missing him is killing you But you love who he used to be Who he is now is not the man you love Who he is now is only a fragment Of who he once was Right now you’re probably awake Thinking about him While he’s sleeping peacefully This is going to hurt But you deserve the world my dear And he is not it.

Marry someone who lets you have a bite of their brownie, even when you said you weren’t hungry. Marry someone who laughs at the same things you do. Marry someone who kisses your nose on a cold day. Marry someone who you can watch Disney movies with. Marry someone who is proud of you whether you earn £5 a week or £5,000 a week. Marry someone who you can tell everything to. Marry someone who isn’t afraid or embarrassed to hold your hand in public. Marry someone who lets you take over when decorating a cake. Marry someone who you can spend the day in Ikea with without feeling stressed. Marry someone who wraps you up inside their coat in the winter. Marry someone who accepts your fears and phobias. Marry someone who gives you butterflies every time you hear their key in the door. Marry someone who you don’t always have to shave your legs for. Marry someone who accepts you all day every day, even when you don’t look or feel your best. Marry someone who puts three sugars in your tea, despite telling them “just the two”. Marry someone who doesn’t judge you when you eat your body weight in cookies. Marry someone who doesn’t make you want to check your phone, because you know they will reply. Marry someone who waits with you to get on the train. Marry someone who understands that you need to be alone sometimes. Marry someone who gets on well with your parents and isn’t uptight about family events. Marry someone who calms you down when you get mad about stupid stuff, and never tells you it’s “only stupid stuff”. Marry someone who makes you want to be a better person. Marry someone who makes you laugh. Marry someone who you love. Marry your soulmate, your lover, your best friend.

I now know why the “I love you” never stumbled out of my mouth for I thought I was too tongue tied and speechless, infatuated by your existence to say it out loud. I now know why my “I miss you” never made its way to your mailbox for even if it did land on your doorsteps you cared more about the other bodies in skirts than you ever did for me. I now understand when people say how your emotions are dictated by the way someone feels for you- I was afraid we’d never make it (as I now know) so I never said it  for the fear of you, hearing, but not listening. I now know I could’ve howled at your many moons and you would claimed deafness and blame me for not knowing so since the evening we met.