Rules & Exceptions

I’m peeling garlic and I notice that I know when I can crack the skin and peel it off in one swoop, instead of struggling with one tiny bit at a time. And I’m thinking, I only know how to do this from interacting with the garlic several times and discovering this on my own. 

Too many times in my life, I thought so much about a certain topic (mainly dating), and overanalyzed every possible angle or theory my mind could come up with. And read books. And knew different psychological reasons why a, b and c would happen. And thought I had to take myself out of the dating scene until I figured out x, y, and z. Only then, could I take another shot at it! Only then, could I try to be with someone.

But, understanding all that, means nothing if you don’t put it to practice.

So thanks to today’s garlic cloves, I’m learning not to hide from experience just because I wanna wait ‘til I have it all figured out. The truth is, no one has it ALL figured out. A big part of that discovery process lies in experiencing first, and thinking later.

Make peace with rejection.

If you take risks, you risk getting rejected, but so does anyone who has ever tried anything. And no, it doesn’t mean you’re not worthy of being wanted, it just means that particular person doesn’t want you, and they have every right not to - the same way you have that right. Someone else will.

Usually whatever excuse someone gives you (I’m not ready for a relationship, I’m scared, etc.) is usually just that, an excuse. Because if they really felt strongly about you, they wouldn’t stay away from you.

You know when you start believing you're over that one person and you finally enjoy the emotional freedom that comes with that?

Then they text you out of nowhere and all sorts of messy, forgotten feelings bubble up and surprise you? 

Yeah.

Joe Rogan talks about women and relationships. I don't own the song. Explosions In The Sky owns it.

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If I don't drunk text you, you ain't the one.

Exception:

We all know at least one: That friend who complains incessantly about his fickle girlfriend, and yet keeps going back to her, even though most of the time she doesn’t treat him well. It’s frustrating for his friends, who must wonder if their buddy, despite his irritation at his partner, actually likes to suffer. But science might have a different explanation. Richard A. Friedman, a professor of clinical psychiatry and the director of the Psychopharmacology Clinic at the Weill Cornell Medical

Always trust your gut instinct.

How someone makes you feel, is about as fleeting as a fart in the wind. Changing from one moment to the next, constantly needing reassurance for the feeling that came before. No guarantee. How silly of us to base love on that.. on how someone makes us feel. To put our happiness in someone else’s hands and say, “Here. Don’t fuck it up.”

Why do we act so surprised when our states change from happy to disappointed, from loved to neglected? Why do we let our own happiness depend on that person’s love? Why do we measure the amount of love by a distorted translation of their actions or lack of?