𑣲┆bon voyage! ˚.

"You're seriously the only reason I come to this course anymore."

"You say that to all the beverage cart girls?"

"Nope. Just you."

You shook your head and smiled that polite smile that you'd gotten pretty good at as you walked to your cooler.

"You busy Friday?"

You turned and handed him his beer, still trying to smile. "I'm actually not dating right now."

Which was true, but only because every romantic thought in your brain was reserved for JJ. The idea of being with anybody else didn't even cross your mind.

Rafe nodded slowly like he accepted the answer, but then he kept trying anyway like he didn't know what it meant to be told no.

Classic Kook behavior.

And honestly, after a while, it started stressing you out a little. Because every time he handed you another fifty or hundred dollar bill, guilt twisted in your stomach like somehow you owed him something now. Which you absolutely did not.

But still.

Meanwhile, JJ had started acting weirder than ever. He wasn't being mean or cold or anything like that, but you were starting to doubt more and more that he felt the same way.

He still laughed at your jokes and looked at you first when he walked into a room and sat beside you every chance he got, but he was just suddenly so strangely distant and you couldn't figure out why.

He didn't text as much or call you just because and when you hung out with him and the Pogues it was like he was constantly somewhere else mentally even while sitting beside you.

He'd be in a good mood and you'd be laughing together and then it's like a flip switched and suddenly he wouldn't be the JJ you knew anymore. His smile would disappear and he'd become quiet and completely withdrawn.

And it was only because every time you smiled at him or laughed he'd wonder:

Does she smile at them like that?

Does she sound the same when she laughs at their jokes or grab their arms to steady herself?

Is somebody with more money, more stability, more everything going to realize how incredible you are and take you away from me?

Especially because in JJ's mind... why wouldn't you choose them eventually?

If you did actually have any feelings for him at all, you probably just hadn't realized yet that you could do better.

And he did believe you deserved better.

You wondered if he was just acting like this was just because he was tired, because he began to work constantly. Longer and longer hours at the car shop. More and more odd jobs on the side.

He looked more exhausted every single time you saw him.

What you didn't realize was that the reason he was suddenly working himself half to death was because JJ had decided if rich Kooks were gonna compete for your attention, then he at least needed to try becoming somebody who deserved you first.

And because you didn't realize this, it actually really hurt. Because you genuinely thought something was happening between the two of you– about to happen, even. You had been closer than ever and then out of the blue he was just pulling away like none of it mattered at all.

You'd lay in bed some nights staring at your phone debating texting him: Did I do something?

But then you'd remember the dark circles under his eyes lately or how tired he'd sounded earlier and you tried to convince yourself that it was just that.

Of course, every single one of the Pogues noticed exactly what was happening.

"Dude," Kiara finally said one night after you went inside to shower. "You're being so weird. Are you good?"

JJ frowned immediately. "I'm literally sittin' here."

"No," Pope said. "You're being weird and broody."

"I'm tired." He shrugged, staring out at the marsh. "My bad."

But they all knew. And they all saw the way that he was looking at you more than ever, all sad and longing and mopey like he missed you even though you were only a few feet away. And how, ever since you got that job, all he could think about was everything he couldn't give you.

Even though you didn't think like that at all.

He was actually your favorite thing in the world and how happy he made you and how much fun the two of you had and how much he cared about you was literally all that mattered.

One afternoon after work, you tried buying him a new pair of boots because his current pair were practically falling apart and JJ looked genuinely offended.

"Absolutely not."

You groaned. "Oh my god, JJ, just let me buy them for you. Please?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because I'm not letting you become my sugar mama."

You burst out laughing. "You are so dramatic."

"I'm so serious."

You crossed your arms. "You've always got me stuff."

"That's different."

"How?"

He shrugged awkwardly, eyes flicking away from yours. "I dunno. Feels different when rich dudes throw money at my friend because she's pretty and then she tries spending it on me."

You immediately felt warmth creep into your cheeks.

So, he doesn't just think I'm pretty in his dreams.

You giggled, batting your lashes up at him. "You think I'm prettyyy?"

He scoffed, looking anywhere but at you. "I mean–yeah? I've literally always said that."

"Oh yeah," you teased softly, a smile tugging at your lips. "Boyfriend duties."

That made him smile a little too, but not like usual. It didn't exactly reach his eyes and there was something behind them you couldn't read for the life of you.

"Yeah," he mumbled. "Boyfriend duties." Then he looked away before you could think too hard about the expression on his face.

A few days later, at the end of your Friday shift, you were wiping down the cart when somebody knocked lightly against the side of it. You looked up and nearly sighed out loud.

Rafe. And he was holding a bouquet of roses.

Are you fucking serious.

"You're kidding," you laughed.

He grinned. "I'm very serious."

You stared at him for a second before taking them. "They're really pretty. Thank you."

"Still no date though?"

You rolled your eyes, smiling. "Rafe."

"What?" He leaned against the golf cart dramatically. "Come onnn. What does a guy gotta do to take the prettiest girl on the island out just one time?"

You laughed softly and shook your head, flustered.

"Do I gotta get on my knees and beg?"

You snorted. "Your friends would never let you live that down."

"I don't care what they think." He tilted his head slightly. "Would you like to see it?"

You laughed harder at that, cheeks a little warm, more from nerves than anything else. "Okay, honestly? That would be pretty entertaining."

"So there's a chance?"

"No."

He groaned loudly, dragging a hand down his face. "What'll it take then?"

You thought for a second of something he wouldn't part with for anything, with the little information you had about him, before smiling innocently. "That boat you were showing me pictures of the other day might do it."

He pointed at you immediately. "Absolutely not. That boat is my baby, sweetheart."

You shrugged. "Then I guess we're outta luck."

"But," he added quickly, "I'd happily take you out on it."

You opened your mouth to reject him again automatically, but instead, for some stupid reason, what came out was:

"I'll think about it."

The second the words left your mouth, regret slammed into you. You don't know why you said it, because you didn't mean that. You were just a little overwhelmed and didn't know what else to say in the moment.

His entire face lit up immediately. "Oh yeah?"

You tucked hair behind your ear awkwardly and shrugged. "Maybe."

Fuck. What the hell is wrong with you?

"I'll take maybe." Then he reached into his wallet again.

You groaned. "Rafe–"

"Relax."

He held out a fifty between two fingers and you slowly took it even though you felt like you shouldn't. It almost didn't even make you feel excited anymore.

"Have a good weekend."

You shook your head. "You are actually insane."

"That's not a no to the boat though," he called while walking backward toward his golf cart.

You laughed helplessly. "Bye, Rafe."

"Bye, gorgeous."

He drove off leaving you standing there holding roses in one hand and fifty dollars in the other. You stared down at both for a long second, then once he was out of sight you covered your face with the flowers.

"Goddammit."

JJ saw the flowers the second you rode your bike up the Chateau driveway and his stomach dropped.

"Ooooh my god," Sarah said, grinning as you walked over to where they were hanging out by the firepit.

Kiara pointed at them. "Same guy?"

"Yuuup."

JJ leaned back in the lawn chair staring at the flowers in your hand way too hard trying to keep from looking too tortured.

You tossed them into Kiara's lap. "Here. You guys can have them."

JJ's lips twitched just a little.

Kiara blinked. "You don't want them?"

You plopped into the chair beside JJ with a sigh and grabbed a drink from the cooler between you. "I just feel weird about it."

"Why?" Sarah asked.

You shrugged. "Because I keep telling him no every time he asks me on dates and I feel kinda bad. I don't even feel right taking tips from him anymore."

Sarah waved a hand immediately. "Girl, keep taking his money. He'll survive."

You laughed softly. "Yeah. I know."

JJ stayed quiet beside you.

You took a sip of your seltzer. "But uh... he offered to take me out on his boat too... Anddd... I might've said I'd think about it." you admitted, cringing at yourself

JJ's stomach dropped again, harder than it ever had. His brows pinched together and his fingers tightened around the bottle he was holding so hard his knuckles turned white.

Yep. It's finally happening.

John B's eyes widened. "You said what?"

"Not because I actually want to! I was just stressed out and he kept asking and the people pleaser in me just came out–"

JJ felt the smallest bit better but he was still not happy.

"But why would you say that?" John B asked, laughing. "That was like the worst possible thing you could say."

You winced. "I know! I don't know! I panicked!"

JJ finally laughed once under his breath. "Well that definitely won't make him back off now," he muttered.

You looked over at him. "I know."

He nodded once but didn't say anything else.

Kiara tilted her head. "What's this guy's name anyways?"

You shrugged, staring down at the drink in your hands as you nervously played with the tab. "Rafe… I dunno his last name though."

Everybody froze.

JJ actually shut his eyes. "Oh my god."

You looked around slowly. "What? You guys know him?"

Pope nodded. "Oh, we know Rafe."

Sarah covered her mouth. "That's my brother."

Your jaw dropped. "Oh... well… shit."

Everybody burst out laughing and groaning at the exact same time except JJ, who looked like he was actively fighting for his life.

You laughed too at first, turning toward him automatically, then stopped when you saw his face.

"Jayj?" you asked carefully. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," he muttered instantly.

"JJ."

He took a long sip of beer. "I just fucking hate that guy." Then he stood abruptly before anybody else could answer. "I'm getting another drink."

John B pointed at the cooler. "There's beer literally right there."

He shook his head as he walked towards the house. "I don't want that."

You watched the screen door slam behind him, confused. "Is he ok?"

Everybody exchanged looks like they couldn't believe you hadn't caught on.

"What?"

Cleo finally sighed. "Oh, girl."

Your eyes flicked to her. "What?"

Kiara pointed toward the house like it was obvious. "He's jealous because he likes you. And the guy who's been spoiling you the last two weeks being the guy he hates the most is kinda the cherry on top."

You barked out a laugh immediately. "He doesn't like me like that. And he's definitely not jealous." You looked over at your cousin.

"Yes he is," John B confirmed.

Pope nodded. "Yep."

Kiara stared at you. "Y/N, are you serious?"

You looked between all of them now. "Guys, no. I thought maybe he did for like... a second? But he's been acting all weird and distant and–"

"Yeah, because of this," Kiara said, picking up the flowers and shaking them.

"Definitely because of that," Cleo agreed.

Sarah nodded sadly. "He's been super down on himself ever since you got that job. He tries to be happy for you but he probably thinks you're gonna fall for some Kook."

Your face softened a little at the possibility of that.

"He'd never actually say that though," Kiara said. "He just pushes everything down and lets it eat him alive. He hasn't been this bad since you moved away."

You looked toward the house again, stomach twisting now, but still not fully convinced. But maybe...

"Did he say he liked me?"

Kiara shook her head. "Nah. Of course not. It's just kinda insanely obvious. Like beyond insanely."

You really wished you could believe them. "I'm gonna go check on him," you said, standing slowly.

"Yeah," Sarah said, smiling softly. "You should probably do that."

You found JJ in the kitchen pouring way too much Jack Daniels into a red plastic cup. Then a single eensie weensie splash of coke.

"Hey."

He jumped slightly at the sound of your voice as it snapped him out of his thoughts.

"Sorry," you said immediately, giggling. "Didn't mean to scare you."

"You're good." He looked over at you for a second, then turned back toward his drink. "Hey."

You approached him carefully, leaning your hip against the counter beside him. "You okay?"

"Yeah," he said immediately before taking a sip. "M'fine."

You studied him for a second and it was pretty obvious that he wasn't fine. You knew what fine JJ looked like. But you decided not to press too hard and towards his drink. "Lemme try that."

He glanced at you before handing it over.

You took way too big a sip and your face twisted. "Oh my god, JJ." You coughed a little then laughed. "Jesus. Are you sure you're fine?"

His lips twitched up just a bit against his will. "What? Why?"

"That's just... intense."

"It's called a Jack and Coke, princess."

You snorted and handed it back. "That's not a Jack and Coke, that's JACK!! ...andadropofCoke."

He laughed for maybe the first time that day–at least for real–and took the cup back while you gagged dramatically beside him.

You watched him take another sip with zero reaction and your stomach twisted nervously again. "Can I ask you something?"

He leaned back against the counter, a little nervous now himself. "Shoot."

You chewed your lip for a second. "Are... um... are you jealous or something?"

He nearly choked. "What?"

You immediately started backtracking. "I just mean–you've been acting weird and–I don't know–"

He shook his head way too fast. "Jealous? Nah."

You watched him carefully.

He sighed and leaned back against the counter, swirling the ice around in his drink. "I just hate that guy."

You nodded a little, even more curious about if he really was now. "I figured."

"Yeah well." He shrugged. "You know most of the story already."

You did. You'd pieced together pretty quickly that Rafe Cameron was responsible for about eighty percent of the chaos in the Pogues' lives the last few years.

Then one detail hit you specifically hard.

"Oh my god," you said quietly, eyes widening as you looked over at him. "Wait… he's the one who shot the sheriff!?"

He glanced over at you for a second. "Yep. That would be him."

You just stared at him, a weird cold feeling creeping up your spine suddenly, because this wasn't just some rich flirtatious Kook anymore, this was the guy who got your cousin thrown in jail. And not to mention somebody capable of murder.

"Oh god..." you mumbled, staring at the ground now.

"He also tried to drown Sarah once," JJ added casually.

Your head snapped back up. "Wait... what the fuck!?"

"Yeah."

"What do you mean tried to drown her?"

His jaw tightened as he thought about it. "All coked out trying to protect his psycho dad."

"Oh my god." You swallowed and went back to staring at nothing for a second as you processed the situation. "...Sooo that's the guy who's obsessed with me. Cool. Cool cool cool."

JJ noticed how nervous you got and immediately reached out to gently squeeze your wrist. "Hey."

You looked at him.

"You're okay," he said softly. "Alright? He's not gonna do anything to you."

You nodded, chewing your lip.

He kept his hand around your wrist for another second before letting go slowly. "If he ever makes you too uncomfortable, you call me. Alright?"

Your heart squeezed immediately at how serious he sounded and you smiled just a bit. "Okay."

"I'm serious." He glanced over at you now. "I don't care what time it is. Or what I'm in the middle of. I'll be there."

"I know," you said quietly. "Thank you, Jayj."

He nodded once and took another sip of his drink.

The kitchen went quiet for a second after that other than the muffled laughter and music from outside.

Then JJ sighed through his nose. "I lied earlier."

Your head snapped towards him, brows furrowing. "About what?"

"To be honest...," he mumbled. "I was a little jealous

You  stared at him for a second, heart beating a little faster, because that genuinely caught you off guard. "You were?"

"Just a little." He rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. "I dunno. I just...we all just finally got you back. Then you got that job and suddenly all these rich Kooks are flirtin' with you and throwin' money at you and... And I guess I got freaked out some Kook was gonna steal you away or somethin'."

Your entire expression softened instantly. "Oh..."

"And they definitely wouldn't love you hangin' around me all the time," he added.

That made your chest ache a little, especially after feeling like he had stopped caring about you as much.

Without even thinking about it, you stepped closer and wrapped your arms around him.

He immediately melted into it, having been a little touch starved after spending the last two weeks distancing himself from you. One arm slid around your waist while the other kept holding his drink.

"That's not gonna happen," you mumbled against his shoulder. "I don't want some Kook."

He smiled a little into your hair, because those might've been the best words he'd ever heard even if he had a hard time believing them.

"And nobody's keeping me from hanging out with you," you continued softly. "You're my best friend."

Something in his chest loosened at that, just a little, and he smiled. "You're mine too."

You pulled back enough to look up at him and the way he was looking at you made you nervous to the point that you couldn't hold eye contact for long. Then your eyes caught on the way his collar was folded all weird and you reached up to fix it.

"I've missed you lately," you said quietly, pouting a little. "You haven't been yourself."

JJ looked down at you fixing his shirt and something about that and the way your bottom lip poked out just a little made him forget how to breathe for a second. He still couldn't wrap his head around the fact that someone like you thought he was worth caring for. Worth missing

"Sorry," he said quietly. "Been tired, I guess."

"You don't have to be sorry. And I bet you have been. You've been working way too much, like, an unhealthy amount." You smoothed his collar down one more time and let your fingers rest against his neck for a moment. "You gotta take care of yourself, JJ."

He nodded. "Yeah."

Your hand slid down and lingered against his chest for another second before you smiled up at him again, bright and sweet enough to make every thought in his mind disappear other than how painfully in love with you he really was.

"I wanna have fun with you tonight," you said. "No more broody JJ. Just let yourself relax for a few hours?"

His mouth twitched up immediately, heart swelling. "Well how'm I supposed to say no to that?"

"You're not."

He shook his head smiling and moved around you toward the counter again. "Alright, hold on."

You watched curiously while he grabbed another cup. "What're you doing?"

"Making you a drink. This one's for babies," he said, pouring maybe 80% less Jack in the Coke and handing the cup over. "Try that."

You took a careful sip this time.

"Better?"

You nodded, smiling over the rim at him. "Way better."

JJ smiled hard. "Yeah?"

"Mmhmm."

He grabbed his own drink again and tilted his head toward the porch. "C'mon then, princess. Let's have fun."

"Please." You smiled even harder and followed him back outside, bumping into him lightly on purpose as he opened the screen door for you.

As JJ watched you skip ahead of him, he finally actually began to feel a little okay again.

The next morning, you woke up in the same clothes from yesterday feeling like you might actually be actively dying. Your head pounded immediately the second your slightly swollen eyes cracked open.

You barely even remembered going to sleep.

The Jack and Cokes had started going down like water and you and JJ had in fact had a very fun night... to the point where you were falling all over the place and you were both banned from being within six feet of the fire.

At one point, you and JJ had somehow ended up wrestling in the grass like you were twelve again.

"You cheater!" you laughed as he caught both your wrists.

"I ain't cheatin'," he argued, grinning as he pinned you to the ground.

"You are!"

"Nah. You're pinned, Princess. Admit it."

You squirmed and kicked beneath him, giggling nonstop, mostly at the fact that he was on top of you. And he watched you, sweaty hair falling into his eyes as you stared up at him chewing your bottom lip, holding you there easily and grinning way too hard.

Then John B appeared out of nowhere.

"Alright, that's enough," he laughed, grabbing JJ by the back of his shirt and hauling him off you. "She's done."

"Noooo!" you protested immediately, reaching toward him. "I could take him! Let him go!"

JJ barked out a laugh, cheeks pink. "Yeahh, okay, Shrimp."

The last thing you really remembered kind of clearly was laying in the hammock with him smoking a joint that you didn't need and talking (or trying to talk) about something stupid while his fingers lazily pushed your hair away from your face every few minutes.

Then… blank.

You frowned in confusion and sat up carefully, immediately regretting it when your world tilted a little. Then you remembered that you'd said that you'd go to your first Boneyard bonfire tonight and you gagged a little at the idea of drinking again.

Hopefully you'd feel like a human being by then.

A full glass of water sat on the nightstand beside you and smiled, figuring you knew exactly who had left it there for you.

You grabbed it and chugged half the glass desperately before setting it back down with a gasp. 

Better. Slightly. Barely.

Now you just needed painkillers. Preferably fourteen of them.

You leaned over and opened the drawer of JJ's nightstand to see if you could find anything and snorted at the chaos that awaited you inside. 

It was exactly what you'd expect: There was a handgun shoved in the back corner beside a box of bullets. A few lighters. A bag of fishing lures. Gum wrappers. A pocketknife. Half a pack of cigarettes that he only smoked "sometimes." His glass weed bowl. A tiny bottle of sunscreen. Lotion. Tissues. A crumpled gas station receipt. Some candy.

You dug around for another second before finally finding a bottle of Tylenol shoved beside a small wooden box.

"Thank god."

You took two quickly with another sip of water, then paused, staring at the wooden box that sat there beside your hand, curiosity immediately kicking in.

You knew you really shouldn't snoop, but... You glanced toward the door guiltily before slowly lifting the lid, unable to stop yourself.

Pictures sat stacked inside and you picked the first one up. It was you and JJ as kids at the beach, both sunburnt and smiling with matching missing teeth. Then one of all the Pogues crammed together on the HMS Pogue when Big John had first gotten it. Another was of JJ giving you a piggyback ride on the dock. Then the next one had been taken moments later when he jumped into the water with you still on him without warning.

You smiled as you flipped through them. Your chest tightened a little when you got through the stack and noticed what else was inside: A tiny toy skateboard you'd got him from a fifty cent toy vending machine. A bracelet you remember accidentally leaving in the bathroom your last day here. A handful of shells you'd collected together. A faded movie ticket stub to a movie you didn't end up seeing because you snuck into one that was rated R instead. Little drawings you made for him.

Your heart was beating harder now.

Then you picked up one folded drawing and something slipped from between the pages and fell on your lap...

A Hershey's Kiss wrapper.

You froze, slowly covering your mouth with a hand, then picked it up and held it between your fingers.

No way.

You stared at it for a long moment, thumb brushing softly over the crinkled foil.

"Oh my god," you whispered, stomach fluttering violently, because nobody kept things like this unless they mattered. Unless you mattered.

You put everything back exactly how you found it, shutting the lid softly before laying back against JJ's pillow again. A huge smile spread slowly across your face despite how shitty you felt physically, because maybe you weren't crazy after all.

Maybe JJ actually did feel the same.

By the time the sun started setting that night, after heading home to shower, taking some Liquid IV and a nap, and after you did your make up and put on a cute little dress, you were feeling much better off.

Especially after you noticed JJ give you a quick up and down the moment he saw you.

You stood beside him at the boneyard, arms crossed over your chest as you stared at the coolers across the beach.

"I can't believe I'm about to drink again."

He snorted. "Just took a shot. It really helped actually."

You shook your head with a smile. "That's troubling."

"It's science."

"Alcoholic science... We're gonna feel even worse tomorrow."

"Probably."

You narrowed your eyes at him, still smiling.

"Future me's problem." He shrugged. "You don't gotta drink if you don't want to though." He nudged your shoulder with his. "I'll do it in your honor."

"Nah," you said, smiling wider. "I missed all the other bonfires."

JJ looked over.

You lifted your chin. "So tonight I'm getting the full Pogue experience."

A grin spread slowly across his face and he raised a brow. "Oh yeah?"

"Damn right. I'm gettin' wastey faced... Again."

He squeezed your shoulder and shook it gently. "That's my girl."

You giggled, loving those words more than you'd care to admit. 

"Alright then," he nodded, wrapping his arm around your shoulders now and leading you toward the coolers. "C'mon. Let's get you wastey faced."

Your thoughts kept drifting as you watched him dig through the ice. You hadn't stopped thinking about the Hershey's kiss wrapper all day and wondering what it meant that he'd kept it all these years.

JJ pulled a knife from his pocket before stabbing a beer and handing it to you. "You ready?"

You nodded and linked your arm with his before beginning to count down.

"Three."

"Two."

"One!"

You both shotgunned your beers at the same time, but being way less experienced, you immediately burst into coughing halfway through yours while JJ laughed so hard he nearly spilled his own.

"Oh my god!" you wheezed.

"You suckkkk."

You shoved him, laughing. "I'm new at this!" Cough. "There wasn't a lot of shotgunning beers going on in Argentina, ok!?"

Then your eyes drifted past his shoulder and landed on none other than Rafe fucking Cameron.

He was standing with a group of Kooks and already looking directly at you. At you and JJ together. Like he was analyzing the two of you.

You lifted your hand awkwardly, even as your stomach twisted with nerves after what you had recently learned.

He gave a lazy little wave back, smiling, but not at all in the way he did on the golf course. He honestly looked kinda angry. Or frustrated. Or both.

Beside you, JJ turned to see who you were looking at and his smile dropped.

You and him both grabbed another beer without saying anything and starting back toward your friends.

"Aw," you mumbled sarcastically. "Your best friend's here."

JJ snorted. "Your biggest tipper's here."

"He's probably wondering what the hell I'm doing hanging out with you guys."

JJ glanced sideways at you. "Probably."

"I'm pretty sure he has no idea that I'm John B's cousin."

"Mhm."

You looked over at him. "You good?"

"What? Yeah."

"You hate him so much."

JJ scoffed. "You don't after finding out that he's the one who framed JB?"

You laughed into your drink. "Oh, I'm definitely not a fan."

One beer turned into another.

Then shots.

Then hard seltzers.

Then another beer.

The bonfire got louder and warmer and fuzzier until you officially crossed into fully wastey faced territory.

Your laugh came easier. 

And so did JJ's hands. Not inappropriate or too much, just a bit more than usual, which you honestly didn't mind at all.

He'd place a hand on your lower back to help guide you through crowds or sling his arm across your shoulders.

At one point you were dancing together, laughing, while JJ spun you dramatically beneath his arm. You stumbled, crashing into his chest afterward, and his hands caught your waist. And stayed there.

He looked down at you, smiling hard, and your heart stumbled as bad as you just had. Maybe worse.

Then across the beach, you spotted Rafe again, still looking between you and JJ. And so were his friends, looking just as disapproving.

The second he realized you'd caught him, he looked away and took a drink.

"Oh my godddd," you mumbled through your teeth. "He won't stop staring."

JJ's grin turned slightly cocky. "Let him."

You began to wonder if all the touching tonight meant something. Or if maybe he was trying to prove something, like that you were really his, even if technically you weren't.

And you hoped it did.

At one point you were sitting with Kiara, Sarah and Cleo while the boys argued loudly near the fire over some sort of plan to start a Charter business.

You were halfway through your drink when Sarah smirked at you over the rim of hers. "Sooo."

You raised your eyebrows immediately, thinking you knew what was coming. And you were right. 

"Oh no."

"Oh yes," Cleo laughed.

Kiara pointed toward the boys. "You and JJ need to stop playing games and just get together already. I'm sick of this."

Heat rushed to your cheeks. "Whaaaat?"

"Girl, don't play dumb," Sarah smirked. "That man has not been able to keep his eyes or hands off you all night."

"And honestly?" Cleo added. "I think we know why."

You blinked.

Sarah glanced over toward another part of the beach where the Kooks were gathered. "My brother can't keep his eyes off you either."

You looked over at Rafe again. "I noticed."

JJ was currently doubled over laughing while Pope tried shoving John B into the sand, and the way his blond hair glowed in front of the firelight made him look so beautiful he almost hurt to look at.

You loved him so much it hurt.

As if sensing you looking at him, JJ glanced over. The second he saw you, he smiled in a way that almost made your throat close up.

You smiled back, then you looked back at the girls and sighed. "Okay... I like him a lot... I like him so much."

"I KNEW IT. Told you we weren't dumb."

"Ugh, finally!"

"Thank you!"

You laughed, kind of embarrassed but also too drunk to really care. It actually felt kind of good to say it out loud. "Oh my god, shut up."

"No," Kiara grinned. "Because it's painfully obvious."

You bit your lip before looking back toward JJ again. Then something occurred to you. "Wait."

The girls looked at you, waiting.

"Did JJ ever tell you guys we kissed?"

All three of them froze.

Sarah blinked. "Um."

Cleo's jaw dropped.

Kiara sat up straighter. "No he absolutely did not."

Your eyes widened. "He didn't?"

"Nope. Spill."

You laughed softly in disbelief that he had kept that special little moment just between the two of you. "The last day we were together before I moved away, we had our first kiss in the driftwood fort we built." You pointed vaguely toward the woods. "Out there."

All three girls stared at you, jaws dropped.

"We just wanted to see what it felt like. We called it a fake kiss." You laughed softly at the memory. "But it felt really real. All two or three or however many seconds of it."

Sarah literally grabbed her chest. "That's so cute."

Kiara nodded, piecing everything together now. "Ahh, that's why he was extra weird after you went home that summer."

Your cheeks got warmer as you thought about the box in his nightstand.

"I actually do think..." You hesitated, playing with a little shell in the sand. "I think there might really be a chance he feels the same way."

They all squinted at you like they couldn't believe you were still questioning it.

"No, seriously. This morning I found this box in his nightstand with old stuff I'd given him. I know I shouldn't have been snooping but..."

Sarah's eyebrows shot up. "What kinda stuff?"

"Drawings. Pictures. A bracelet I accidentally left... And I swear he kept the wrapper from the Hershey's Kiss I gave him right before we kissed."

All three of them went dead silent for a second.

Cleo shook her head. "That man is in love with you."

Sarah giggled. "Are you kidding me?"

Kiara covered her smile. "He's obsessed."

You laughed into your drink.

Kiara shook her head. "Y/N, I don't think you understand. Even years after you moved away, if anybody brought you up he'd get all weird and quiet."

Your smile faded into something softer. "Really?"

"Yeah," Kiara said gently, squeezing your knee. "You're really special to him."

Sarah nodded. "And honestly? He's probably terrified."

"Of what?"

"Messing things up," Cleo said simply. "Making it weird. Losing you again."

You stared toward him for a second. He was still laughing and glowing by the firelight, adorable as ever. Handsome as ever. Still somehow the same free, careless, complicated boy you knew from all those years ago.

And maybe you were just as scared too.

You swallowed and nodded slowly. "Maybe I should say something."

All three girls immediately lit up.

"YES."

"Please."

You laughed and finished the last sip of your drink before standing. "I'm gonna drink on it."

Kiara smiled. "Good plan."

You pointed at them. "I'll be right back."

Unfortunately, Rafe immediately took you being separated from the Pogues as a chance to finally talk to you and find out what the hell was going on.

"Well there she is."

You looked up from the cooler you were digging through and saw him making his way toward you with a beer in his hand and that cocky grin he always wore around you, but there was something different in it this time.

"Hi, Rafe."

His presence made you more nervous than ever now.

He slowed slightly at your tone, because at the golf course you usually smiled automatically, all sweet and polite. Now you just looked strangely cautious.

His brows pulled together a little, although he was still smirking. It was almost like he was trying to intimate you. Like he was annoyed at the fact that you were giving JJ all your attention and not him.

"I'm a little confused."

You tried your best to hold his gaze and keep your face neutral. "Why's that?"

You knew why.

His eyes drifted past you toward where the Pogues were gathered. Specifically toward JJ.

"Just wondering what a girl like you doin' hangin' around JJ Maybank of all people."

Your eyebrows lifted. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothin'," he said casually, though it definitely wasn't nothing. "Just wouldn't recommend getting too attached to that dude."

You crossed your arms loosely. "Why?"

Rafe barked out a short laugh. "Because he's a jackass for one. And a tool. And," he continued, taking another drink, "far as I know, he's broke as shit too."

Your expression flattened a little instantly. "JJ's my best friend."

Rafe looked surprised for half a second, then amused. "Best friend?"

"Yeah." You shrugged. "Known him since we were kids."

"Interesting." He nodded slowly.

"Is it?"

He stepped a little closer. "You know, I could be your friend. Could show you a way better time. You're way too pretty to spend all your time babysitting those Pogues."

You laughed once, dryly. "They're my friends, Rafe."

"Mm." He tilted his head slightly. "Still think you'd have more fun with me."

You leaned back down and continued digging through the cooler beside you mostly to avoid the way he was looking at you. "Pretty sure you say that to every girl."

"No. I don't." He stepped closer again. "You're special."

You grabbed yourself another drink and stood back up only for him to casually touch your waist as he leaned in slightly.

Your body immediately stiffened.

"Rafe."

"What?"

"Stop."

He pulled his hand back after a second, but not before giving you a look like he thought you were just being shy.

And honestly? You suddenly wanted out of this conversation very badly.

Your eyes scanned the beach and landed directly on JJ.

He was standing near the fire, still talking to John B and Pope, when suddenly he began scanning the beach too at the same time.

He finally found you and your eyes widened just slightly.

Help.

You barely even mouthed it, but you didn't have to, because JJ instantly understood. His entire face changed in half a second. Then slowly, almost smugly, he smiled and started walking over.

You nearly sighed in relief.

He appeared beside you and casually wrapped an arm around your shoulders.

"Hey baby."

You looked up at him for one tiny stunned second before catching on. Then you smiled wide up at him. "Hi, Jayj."

JJ looked over at Rafe calmly. "Oh hey, Rafe."

Rafe blinked between both of you. "What the hell is this?"

JJ's arm tightened around you slightly. "What's it look like to you? Use context clues."

It took everything not to burst out laughing.

Rafe looked genuinely confused now, and genuinely frustrated as hell. "Since when?"

You answered immediately. "Last night."

JJ glanced down at you quickly, trying not to laugh too now.

Rafe scoffed loudly. "Yeah, okay. Miss ‘I'm not dating right now.'"

You shrugged innocently. "Things change."

"Didn't you literally just call him your best friend?"

"He is."

Rafe stared at you.

"Aww," JJ said, immediately leaning into the bit. "You called me your best friend? You're so cute, pretty girl."

He kissed the top of your head and you had to bite the inside of your cheek not to smile too hard, absolutely loving every second of this.

You looked up at him all doe eyed, completely in love. Method acting at its finest. "You are."

JJ smiled so hard his eyes crinkled. Also not acting.

Rafe pointed between the two of you suspiciously. "Nah. I don't buy this shit."

JJ finally dragged his eyes away from you and looked back at Rafe with a shrug. "Believe what you want. All I know," he continued, "is I'd appreciate you keeping your hands off my girl. No means no, man."

"Thank you," you said sweetly.

He smiled back down at you.

Rafe rolled his eyes hard. "Jesus Christ."

For a second, both of you forgot this was fake.

Rafe noticed that too and his expression shifted slightly. "…Right."

An awkward silence sat there for a second before JJ nodded toward the fire. "Well. We're gonna go do boyfriend girlfriend stuff now. Y'know… because she's my girlfriend... And stuff. Later Rafe."

You pressed your lips together, because it was getting harder and harder not to lose your shit.

That got a reluctant laugh out of Rafe despite himself. "You two are ridiculous."

"True." JJ nodded. "A broken clock is right twice a day I guess."

He steered you away by the waist and Rafe just stood there for a second, watching the two of you in complete confusion. He refused to believe that a girl like you would pick a Pogue like JJ Maybank over him.

But whatever.

The second you got far enough away from Rafe, both of you finally burst out laughing.

"Oh my god," you wheezed. "Boyfriend girlfriend stuff? Seriously? You should totally be one of those professional improv people," you said sarcastically.

JJ laughed. "Pretty genius, right? That totally sold it."

"Yeah, I'm not quite sure we had him totally convinced." You leaned against him giggling. "But, thank you. Seriously."

He looked down at you, smiling softer now. "Anytime, princess." Then his smirk came back slightly. "Think you just lost your main source of income though."

You groaned. "Damn. There goes my retirement plan."

JJ laughed and nudged your shoulder. "You'll be alright."

You looked up at him smiling at the way he was still holding your waist, slightly possessive even now. "Yeah. I'm not worried about it."

The two of you didn't stop there, enjoying your little game way too much as Rafe began watching even harder now. But it wasn't mainly about Rafe at all.

And the Pogues were thoroughly entertained by it all.

"Oh my god," Kiara laughed at one point, watching the two of you from across the fire. "This is literally them as kids all over again."

"Worse," John B corrected immediately.

"Way worse."

Cleo smiled at Pope. "They're kind of perfect for each other."

Sarah poked out her bottom lip. "They are."

"It's happening tonight." Kiara nodded. "I'm calling it."

"Oh yeah," Pope agreed.

You sat comfortably between JJ's legs in the sand, back resting against his chest, talking softly about all the same dumb nonsense you always did, both of you in a world of your own. Both of you trying not to lose your minds.

Every few minutes he'd twist a strand of your hair around his finger or untangle a knot or scratch lightly against your scalp and every single time it made your lashes flutter a little.

At one point a particularly good scratch had you unconsciously humming.

JJ looked down at you and huffed out a laugh. "That feel good?"

"Mm yeah," you sighed, eyes shutting as you leaned further into him.

He swallowed, because you had absolutely no idea what you were doing to him. He figured had to be dreaming.

A minute later his hand stopped moving as he listened to something Pope was saying.

You lasted maybe three seconds before looking up. "Excuse me."

"Hm?"

"Did I tell you you could stop?"

JJ laughed softly. "Oh, my apologies, princess." He immediately went back to playing with your hair.

"Thank you."

"So demanding."

"Pretty sure this is boyfriend duties." 

He shook his head, smiling to himself as he continued to happily give you exactly what you wanted.

A few seconds later you turned your head so you could look up at him. Both of you were a little drunk, smiling a little dopily, and for absolutely no reason whatsoever, you started giggling.

Then JJ started giggling, which only made you laugh harder.

Neither of you even knew what was funny anymore, except that this all felt so insanely easy. And terrifyingly right.

A little later Sarah and Kiara came back from the Twinkie carrying grocery bags.

"It's s'mores thirty!" Sarah announced.

You reached for a chocolate bar while JJ worked on getting your marshmallows roasted. The second you saw the Hershey's label, your chest squeezed.

JJ glanced over and caught you smiling.

Then you glanced at him sideways and caught him catching you.

"Don't," you warned, trying to stop, but you simply couldn't.

He laughed softly as he began to help you put together your s'mores. "I didn't say anything."

"Oh my god," Sarah suddenly said. "Rafe is STILL watching you two."

JJ barked out a laugh. "No way."

"He does not look happy."

"Well," you grinned, leaning closer into JJ, "we should probably give him a show then."

JJ looked down at you suspiciously. "You're enjoyin' this way too much."

"You aren't?"

"Little bit." He grinned and held up his s'more toward your mouth. "Here, baby."

John B covered his face. "I can't with you two anymore."

You giggled and leaned forward to take a bite. The marshmallow immediately messily stretched everywhere, chocolate smeared near your mouth and you laughed so hard you almost inhaled graham cracker crumbs.

JJ laughed so hard he fell back in the sand, dropping what was left of the s'more.

"Mmm, so romantic," you mumbled, mouth way too full.

A song you liked, Wrong Way by Sublime, started playing from somebody's speaker down the beach.

You gasped and grabbed JJ's wrist. "Oh my god I love this song. Get up get up."

JJ still couldn't stop laughing. "I can't get up."

"Get uppp."

He laid flat on his back trying to catch his breath. "I can't. Go on without me."

"Yes you can! You need to dance with me." You hauled him up off the ground by both hands. "Boyfriend duties!"

JJ stumbled a few yards down the sand with you towards the music, laughing more while you danced around him dramatically, singing way too loud.

Eventually he gave in and started dancing with you too, very terribly on purpose.

Your stomach actually hurt from laughing now.

Then the song changed and you clung onto his neck trying to catch your breath.

He looked down at you and suddenly all the voices and music around you started sounding far away at how close you both were.

You smiled up at him. "I'm having so much fun."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah." You swayed a little closer. "And not just because we're torturing Rafe."

He tilted his head a little.

"Although," you added, "that part is kinda fun."

He laughed under his breath.

"But," you shrugged a little, smiling shyly now, "it just feels like old times again."

His eyes searched yours carefully.

"I like being ridiculous with you."

"I like bein' ridiculous with you too," he admitted quietly, thumbs moving slowly against your waist.

Your smile widened so hard you ended up biting your lip trying to contain it.

JJ's eyes dropped to your mouth immediately and stayed there, almost like he didn't care if you noticed.

And you did.

Then his eyes flicked past you briefly.

"Rafe still watching?" 

"Yep," JJ murmured, eyes already back on yours.

The alcohol suddenly had you feeling braver than ever. Your fingers toyed lightly with the hair at the back of his neck as you just stared up at him for a moment. 

"You wanna make him really believe it?"

JJ's brows lifted slightly. "What d'you mean?"

Your grin turned nervous and playful all at once. "Hershey's Kiss 2.0?"

JJ actually stopped breathing, his hands tightening slightly on your waist. "You sure about that, Shrimp?"

Your heart was actually pounding now. "Are you?"

JJ stared at you for three long seconds.

"Anything for the bit," he said quietly, though neither of you sounded like you actually cared about the Rafe thing anymore.

You smile nervously. "So that's a yes?"

JJ's eyes dropped to your lips again and he nodded. "Yeah."

His hand lifted and settled against your cheek, thumb brushing beneath your eye once, like he was trying to believe this was really happening.

And unable to understand how somebody could be so fucking beautiful.

For a second you just looked at each other. Then he started leaning in slowly. Painfully slowly. Your noses brushed. His lips hovered above yours, hesitation and disbelief flickering across his face for just a second.

Then you tilted your chin up and closed the distance yourself.

You were both still for a moment as your lips pressed softly against his, immediately a little dizzy from the realness of it all. Then you both actually melted into each other, every almost moment from the last few weeks crashing together at once.

JJ made a soft noise against your mouth like he physically couldn't help it, one hand sliding up into your hair to hold you there. Then he tilted his head and kissed you harder, and when your lips parted against his, the soft brush of your tongues made your stomach flip so violently your breath shuddered against his mouth.

It was nothing like when you were thirteen, other than the fact that he tasted chocolate on your lips just like he had the first time.

Somewhere in the distance, the Pogues completely lost their minds. 

You vaguely heard screaming, but neither of you cared. You just laughed into each other's mouths until you both had to pull back an inch for a second.

His forehead rested against yours as you both stared at each other, cheeks flushed and eyes half lidded, completely stunned.

Then JJ looked at your lips again and dove right back in, kissing you even more desperately now, pulling your body flush against his.

You let out a surprised sound that turned into a happy hum before kissing him back equally as hard.

The noise almost killed him right then and there.

The kiss slowed eventually and you both pulled away, dazed, trying for a second to remember how breathing worked.

"You think we convinced him?" you whispered, smiling.

JJ let out a breathless laugh against your mouth, still holding you close, "Pretty sure we convinced everybody."

✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✩⋆✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✩𖦹⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✩

A/N: EEEEEEEEEEEE

Part 6 coming soon