Don't Do That

we all have that friend that reminds us of a wretched and despotic boy-king

*sits up in bed, stretches, yawns* it’s another beautiful, glorious day full of opportunity a- *ominous bell toll and i am instantly replaced with a 10,000-year-old mummy sitting in the exact same pose*

My favorite thing about the “Lesbian necromancers explore a haunted gothic palace in space!” tagline is that every part of it is technically wrong. Only one of the two main lesbians is a necromancer, the gothic palace is not haunted, and they are on Earth for 90% of the book.

Th second book could be something like “a haunted lesbian necromancer explores a space cathedral” depending on how you interpret the ship as.

I need a blowjob but I don’t have a penis or a strap on and I’m not taking off my pants so you’re just gonna have to figure it out

a lot of writing is sort of watching the film in your head like oh sorry can’t write the chapter yet i have to repeat hallucinate the dialogue first

If I keep practicing I might even be a person soon

Every once in a while, I wish the friendship meter from the Sims was real so that way when people tell me "I used Chat-GPT" they can visually see just how much respect I just lost for them in that moment.

One time an acquaintance told me she entered Snape's star chart into chatgpt and I could physically feel that meter dropping three separate times over the course of her sentence

t-shirt with the words “high-functioning corpse” printed on it

maybe next year instead of amateur fireworks on every block for hours and hours we can try holding up a single beautiful flower

What are you reading rn, why are you reading it, and what format are you reading it in (physical book, ereader, on your phone etc)

somewhere out there right now is a kid with curly hair being raised by people who have wavy hair at best and those people are giving them 2-in-1 shampoo and conditioner and telling them to dry brush it. and that kid is gonna spend all of middle school and high school hating their hair and moping over the flat iron. they're being told right now that if they don't dry-brush their curl pattern into oblivion every morning it means they're unkempt and gross even though they naturally have the kind of ringlets that a thousand bridezillas would commit horrible murders for every june. it's happening right now it's an absolute epidemic and a tragedy every time

Being a calm, gentle, non-reactive person is really hard work, which is probably why many people are none of these things. Personally I think it’s worth it but sometimes one does want to just roll around on the floor wailing at the top of one’s lungs