life is a joke if you laugh

why must the guard dog characters unquestioning devotion to their master be born from trust or some shit cant they be manipulated into it. raised into it. brainwashed even

Worship the hand that beats you or whatever

no babe i find your strange and creepy and perverted vibe to be very cute actually

hobbies should not take up this much space. there ought to be a hobby pocket dimension, where I am able to store everything I need in a breadbox that weighs no more than my cat.

nobody coughs up blood dramatically into their handkerchiefs anymore

If I keep practicing I might even be a person soon

lesbian thoughts → lesbian thoughts ↓ ↑ lesbian thoughts ← lesbian thoughts 

ohhhh you elfsturbating 😧😲

just remembered that my middle school bullies were named Chase and Hunter. what was up with that. what was going on there.

men will say “princess treatment ❤️” and then it’s just how i normally treat the cashier at the store

every time i sit down 2 watch a horror movie i think of that one tweet :/

oh u like me?? funny .. i didn’t see ur pupils dilate??