“ mmh, miss, are you single? ” he slurred, cheeks flushed pink. you could practically smell the alcohol radiating from him as you unbutton his clothes.
“ no, i'm married. ” he pouts after hearing your words while you stand up and head to the kitchen to fetch a glass of water.
“ i shouldn't be surprised that a beauty like you isn't single .. but it should've been me. ” you can practically hear the pout in his tone, but you pay no mind as you assist him to drink water because apparently— he's too drunk to do it all by himself, and you're afraid he might drown if you let him be.
“ you are my husband, silly. ” your lips curve into a smile. your fingers find their way to his cheeks, your thumb gently caressing his skin.
“ me? your husband? i'm your husband? ” the way his eyes lit up made you laugh. because it was always like this everytime, even when he was just nothing but your friend. he'd ramble about the things that he liked about you, and how his stress disappers when sees you (or so he says).
“ i'm one lucky bastard then. ” he grins wolfishly, arms wrapping around your waist as he nuzzles his face into your neck.
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︵ ೀ mdni. being anxious around suguru the first time you undress in front of him
suguru notices the moment you start shutting down.
you’re both on his bed, clothes half-gone, and suddenly you’ve gone quiet. too quiet. your arms are crossed over your chest even though he hasn’t even touched you yet. your eyes are squeezed shut so tightly it looks painful.
“hey,” he murmurs, voice low and gentle. he stops moving immediately. “talk to me.”
you swallow hard, voice small. “can… can we keep the lights off? and can you… maybe not look at me too much?” your words crack at the end. “i’m sorry. i know it’s stupid. just… please.”
suguru’s heart twists.
he’s seen you anxious before, but never like this. not when it comes to being bare in front of him. you look so small, curled in on yourself, lips pressed together like you’re trying not to cry.
“it’s not stupid,” he says softly. he reaches over and clicks the lamp off, leaving only the faint moonlight filtering through the curtains. the room falls into gentle darkness. “nothing about you is stupid to me.”
he stays on his side of the bed for a moment, giving you space. then he asks, careful and patient, “can i come closer?”
you nod, eyes still closed.
suguru moves slowly, like you’re made of glass. he pulls the blanket up over both of you, covering you to your chest. only then does he gently tug you into his arms. your body is stiff at first, trembling slightly.
“i’m right here,” he whispers against your hair. “we don’t have to do anything tonight if you don’t want to. we can just lie like this.”
you shake your head, voice barely there. “i want to… i just… i feel so ugly right now. like if you see all of me you’ll change your mind.”
the words hit him harder than anything ever could.
suguru exhales shakily and presses his forehead to yours. “listen to me,” he says. “there is nothing about you that could make me change my mind. not one single thing.” his hand finds yours under the blanket and laces your fingers together. “you’re safe with me. always.”
it takes a long time for you to relax even a little. suguru spends it kissing your knuckles, your wrists, the inside of your elbow—every place he can reach without pushing. he whispers how beautiful you are, how much he loves the way you laugh, how your voice calms the noise in his head. he tells you he’s not in any rush. that he would wait forever if that’s what you need.
when you finally whisper “okay… you can touch me,” he still moves like you might break.
his hands are reverent. slow. he maps your body with gentle palms, never lingering too long in one place, always checking your face even in the dark. every time you tense he stops and kisses you until you melt again.
when he finally slides inside you, it’s careful and deep and so full of love it hurts. you’re still anxious, still hiding your face in his neck, but he holds you like you’re the most precious thing in his world.
“breathe, baby,” he murmurs, hips rocking slowly. “i’ve got you. just feel me. just us.”
you cum with a soft, broken sound, tears slipping down your cheeks. suguru follows right after, burying himself deep as he whispers your name like a prayer.
afterwards, he doesn’t pull out right away.
he stays wrapped around you, one hand stroking your back in slow circles while the other wipes your tears away with his thumb.
“i’m sorry,” you whisper. “i ruined it.”
“you didn’t ruin anything,” suguru says, pressing kisses to your damp cheeks, your eyelids, the tip of your nose. “you trusted me with something scary tonight. that’s the opposite of ruining it.” he pulls the blanket higher around your shoulders and tucks you against his chest. “i love you. every part of you. the anxious parts too. especially those.”
you let out a shaky breath and finally relax fully in his arms.
suguru keeps holding you long after your breathing evens out, heart aching with how much he loves you. he presses one last kiss to your forehead and whispers into the dark:
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