oh, my ugly organs, how lucky we are

please don't have sex in disabled bathrooms if you're abled. we need somewhere to have sex too

lets all click on the source of the gif

young old person tip for you all. go get some photos printed (pauses so someone can say bogos binted) and fill out a physical album

and annotate them with who is in the photos and when and where the photos were taken!!! your extended family 50 years from now will be grateful, and so will you if you end up forgetting any details

(sprints into room late, looking harried and frantic as fuck) bogos binted. did I miss it

hey wait! i know you! we used to be chained next to each other in the cave! wow, so good to see you, how are ya? man. remember how we used to talk about the shadows on the wall together. gosh that was a long time ago. but hey. sure is one heck of a sun out here, right? it's good to see you.

i wrote this post with happy tears in my eyes sitting in a parking lot after getting coffee for 3 hours with someone i did youth shakespeare with when we were teenagers and hadn't seen in 15 years, in which time we both transitioned, got into nerd shit, found a job that feels good, found people to spend our gay little lives with, and coincidentally moved to the same city. this is exactly how it felt. never ever ever kill yourself

this girl was showing all the signs of being a secret mermaid so i pushed her into the pool and she turned into a forty foot long mosasaurus which is tbh way cooler

not really sure how to get her out though

for those of you asking why i pushed her into the pool in the first place: i work for a duplicitous small town aquarium and i'm trying to kidnap mermaids to jump through hoops and shit to entertain tourists and make money. fucking obviously. now that i know she's actually a mosasaurus though i Have fallen in pure-hearted love with her

It's him, Julius xi/xir

When I tell you I wheezed

And of course the second part of the tragedy, which is: which quadrant did you think you were in vs. which one you were really in

never lose hope. somewhere, a middle-aged, gender ambiguous person with an advanced degree in an esoteric field and a fiber arts hobby could be crashing out and pinning all their remaining mental health on getting obsessed with your otp. any day now, the most elegantly written 100k fanfic you have ever read is going to hit ao3. it could happen. it has happened.

every time y’all say “I want to fuck that old man” then point at a 30 year old you are introducing an invasive species into the fuckable old man ecosystem

Doctor Who is getting a taste of what Star Trek went though

not just any MP, but an undersecretary for migration and citizenship. this guy is one of the MPs that has a direct hand on the genuinely horrific treatment of migrants and refugees in the UK, including shipping them off to the UK's former colony after unilaterally declaring the colony to be safe, as well as stripping the migrant and refugees of their heirlooms in the name of "paying for their migration in the UK with their own assets." Starmer's cabinet is filled with people whose bloodsoaked hands will never wash out like these.

Took Ollie to the vet today. And I'm not gonna say who. But ONE of us had a panic attack immediately after the checkup and wouldn't get out of the sink