iris

on a lonely hill,

boarded shut.

Beloved,

do you still

remember

how you climbed the garden wall

and,

with bleeding thorn-torn hands,

drew out the key you wore

around your neck?

Such a heavy weight to bear around your neck.

Such a heavy wait to bear.

for years and years,

only to be devastated

in return.

I’m so tired of the taste of

touch it to my mouth -

tastes just like you.

My erstwhile ruin,

instead of the way I needed,

the hungry maw in your chest

wouldn’t have

devoured us

Whole.

Does your mouth taste of

sadness

or

(fear,

despair,

betrayal)

except for

only the rest of my life

to miss your

calloused fingertips

in my hair.

back of my neck like

goodbye

and yet

wondered why I didn’t

flounder

when

you proposed

an ending.

I’ve been tasting

salt

in your mouth for weeks.

Till next we meet,

back to back

for years

before

we realized we had

been turned

away from each other

all our lives.

(Beloved heartbreak,

beloved soul,

beloved broken glass

Later on with just the

moon and stars to watch me

(the same stars we cradled each other through fire and hurt)

I cried -

for me,

for us,

and,

most of all,

for You.

You,

who are what I made you to be.

(Everything but

Beloved.

Just say my name when you

still the warmest I’ve ever held,

that last time.

starlight in a bottle boy,

burning up from the inside.

My beloved supernova.

Finally come to end it all?

don’t you dare

burn

our house

heal the entry wound of the

poison barb

you left inside me:

rotting love,

festering longing -

purple toxin living in my

my hand,

but

time struck and

you stumbled —

down,

down,

down —

oh,

were our shattered knees

and

scraped hands,

blood-tinged teeth —

were they worth it?

(Was it worth it to

clasp

our hands

so tightly that

one circle, two —

rings of fire,

surrounding us both