“the role of the artist is exactly the same as the role of the lover. If I love you, I have to make you conscious of the things you don’t see.”
- James Baldwin

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@roz-writes
“the role of the artist is exactly the same as the role of the lover. If I love you, I have to make you conscious of the things you don’t see.”
- James Baldwin

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-James Baldwin
When I am faced with a difficultemotion, what activity or thing do Iturn to to avoid processing thatemotion? Can I identify any patterns ofaddiction tied to this or how I may turnto this form of escapism in a way thatholds back my healing and growth?Can I identify any caregivers I learnedthis behavior from?
Turn to: Sleep, Phone, Scroll, Window shop, hobbies i say i will pick up
Healing and growth needed: moving more, preparing food to eat day by day, emotional regulation
[addiction: physically and mentally dependent] my phone to not pay attention to myself, my (uncomfortable) feelings, my (bodily) needs, the discomfort i feel in changing my lifestyle
Yes-- both utilized media for extensive periods for free time
Have you ever reacted to a situation or a seemingly innocuous comment and wondered why you got so worked up? You’re not the only one. Accord
shadow work prompts from google
is it me am i the child in ed recovery who knows

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Rebel Eaters Club: Journal Prompts
Writing Advice: Character Arcs
Start at the end. The last scene of your book or your series, how do you want the character to turn out? Do you want them to be a strong, confident warrior? Then you need them to start out insecure and not great at fighting. Do you want them to have a happy healthy romance? So start them without one, or in a bad one. This gives your character the most room for growth.
Every character has an arc that interacts. So you don't need to plan out every detail of the side character's arcs, but giving even just a one sentence 'character x wants to be helpful' can help you with scenes, and drive how your POV character(s) react to them. If you ever get stuck, you can look at those arcs and see who might jump in to help out.
Internal Conflict drives External Conflict. So external conflict is what happens outside of your character. It's the explosions they didn't plan for, the comet falling to earth, the sorcerer that wants to take over the world, or the arranged marriage they want to avoid, etc. Internal conflict is problems your character makes for themselves, through insecurity, jealousy, loneliness, misunderstanding, assumption, etc. So when you have an external conflict where your POV character is about to get married off to someone they don't like, their internal conflict of insecurity might make them stick to that plan even while they fall for the romantic interest on the side - but an internal conflict of assumption might make them come up with 200 ways their life will be horrible and spur them to run away.
Characters that don't grow aren't that interesting. Now this isn't to say that you can't have a character that is the best at all things - because those characters can have plenty of internal growth along the lines of becoming humble, meeting the first obstacle they can't overcome and having a crisis of confidence, etc. But every character has to change to give a story depth and connect to a reader. If you're struggling in the middle of a story, it might be because you didn't set up enough room for growth. You can go back to the start and add it, or introduce a new problem for them to deal with to fix that.
what’s it mean to be a hero
It doesn’t mean anything. It can’t mean anything. The whole concept is drenched in idealism.
I know-- It’s entirely like me to just default into political theory and jargon. It’s entirely like me to recite and copy and paste definitions and verbiage from revolutionary forefathers.. It’s just how my brain is wired.
Anyways.. It’s stupid. It’s all stupid. I’ve been a huge kill your heroes person for forever and maybe that’s something to interrogate. Like maybe I need to not see admiration as competition, and awe as a threat, and hope as needing to be snuffed out. But anyways, the way we view heroes is stupid. In a world where history books remember individuals, praise talent, tell tales of the one mary sue ass bitch who was ~different~ from everyone else--
they miss out on the people. they miss out on the giants we collectively rest on. they miss out on the movement. they miss out on the foundation of our world. basic humans, and basic human connection. “you all are already so ahead of me” is the attitude. it is realizing the every day person, the cashier, the homeless person, your own mother, is more knowledgeable and capable of transforming the world than we could ever know.
it is to look on the smiling faces of your community and know they make the world go round. they make the world safe. they..... make the world. with their own hands.
Anyways..............My Hero Academia is stupid.
6/10/2023 -------- 1:15AM
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Write a piece about someone stuck in the past
So what do I do now? she asked no one. There was nothing to see, and nobody to talk to. Just a memory played before her eyes. Just a second returned back to her, and she didn’t know why.
What to do? Naturally, she sat just to watch it all happen again. If being catapulted 8 years into the past wasn’t strange, it was the very least familiar. It was predictable. Safe.
As if on cue, she watched her young self emerge from her childhood home-- one she had not seen in months. I remember it all she thinks, sitting on the concrete across from a younger girl she almost recognizes as herself. It’s almost me... More me than I am now? Or perhaps she has no idea who she is meant to become...
Whatever the truth was, it was the same. Nostalgic, bittersweet. A pink blanket drapes the young girls shoulders and she wipes snot on the corners. Her face is damp and pink like the dew and dawn before her. She mirrors a sad sunrise alone on the concrete.
Watching her younger self, she felt nothing. This scene, this imagery, this time period always came back to her. No emotions stirred-- just expectation. Just a rehearsal of facts playing out on a suburb street. It’s just her, and she is alone. She is crying and no one knows. What a pitying fragile thing she is, and she always is.
Something new happens though, that she doesn’t remember. As the sun rises, the young girl cocks her head to the side, sans tears. What is she doing? The child takes breaths, she closes her eyes, focused. The young girl was more still than she had ever remembered being. With a calm like a soft breeze on a blade of grass. What is going on? What is she looking at? What is she seeing? How is she feeling? What does she hear? She thought maybe if she closed her eyes too she would understand.
When she opened them again, she did.
For she was no longer 8 years in the past, but she was today.
She was a phone alarm and a cobwebbed window trickling in the sunlight.
She wipes her face on her blanket corners.
Because 8 years later, she is still alone amongst dawn and concrete and lonely blades of grass. And it is so familiar how it does not change.
Laon The Bisayan Goddess of Agriculture, Harvests, & Mt. Kanlaon Today I’m going to talk about one of the major deities I work with and honor on a daily basis and that is the Bisayan Goddess, Laon. She is one of the deities that was worshiped by the ancient Bisayans prior to the arrival of Catholicism. Known by many other names from the various Bisayan ethnic groups, such as Kanlaon, Malaon, Lalahon, Raom, Laon Sina, & Alunsina, she was identified as the Supreme deity among many of the Bisayan groups and had carved images usually made of wood of her as mentioned in a passage in a Jesuit letter from 1609 of one found in Bohol. From the early dictionaries to writings from Miguel de Loarca to Francisco Alcina, it is clearly stated in every primary source that mentions her that Laon was a female, which unlike other writings of deities, was one of the few that actually was stated what gender she was.
In Miguel de Loarca’s passage from his Relación de las Yslas Filipinas in 1582 of Laon he describes her as such.
“El dios lalahon diçen que reside en un volcan que esta en la ysla de negros que heçha fuego y que esta el volcan frontero de la villa de Arevalo, como cinco leguas. A este Lalahon ynvocan para sus sementeras y quando no quieren darselas buenas hechales la langosta que se las hecha a perder y se las come. Esta Lahon es muger. “
In the passage it says that the deity Lalahon was a deity who lived in the island of Negros (that was originally called Buglas) and who was invoked for a good harvest in the fields. Lalahon would sometimes send locusts to eat the crops if the people upset and or angered her.
However in a translation of the passage in the Blair and Robertsons English translation in The Philippine Islands, 1493-1803 (Volume 5) , published from 1903 to 1909 there are parts from the original Spanish passage by Loarca that have been mistranslated. One major mistranslation is of the phrase, “que hecha fuego” meaning “which hurls fire”. This part of the passage does not refer to Laon herself as being a fire breathing Goddess, but to Mt. Kanlaon, an active volcano that is her home and still bears her name until this very day. From this mistranslation in the English version it has caused many to believe she is a also a Goddess of fire and breathes fire or throws them when in reality she is neither.
Her name is also an agricultural term among the Bisayan languages meaning aged crops or grain from the previous years harvest and is still a term used today.
According to Pedro Chirino in his writings in 1604, he mentions that Laon was the Bisayan counterpart of the Tagalogs Bathala Maykapal as being their Surpeme deity.
In Francisco Alcina’s works from 1668, who is widely known as the major contributor of information on pre-colonial Bisayans, he mentions Laon as being called Malaon and says that she was the creator of all things. She was also known as “one who disposes everything and renders everything equal” based on another name she was called by some groups such as the Bisayans of Ibabao, known as Makapatag. From this she was equated to the equality of the divine justice.
Today among the people of Sulod in the mountains of Panay, who have kept their indigenous beliefs and practices after years of colonization, they have a Goddess known as Laon Sina who is also mentioned in their long epics of which have been recorded by the likes of Jocano and others by talking to the remaining epic chanters. Laon Sina to the Sulod of Panay is an all powerful Goddes of the Upperworld known as Ibabawnon. In the epics collectively known as Hinilawod that is made up of different episodes following several epic heroes and heroines she is the mother of the 3 demigods, Labaw Dongon, Humadapnon, and Dumalapdap with a mortal, Datu Paubari of Halawod. She is also the mother of Amarotha from an unamed father, who died in childbirth and was brought back to life by Laon Sina to live with her. The epics also mention that sh is the sister of the Goddess Suklang Malayon, the Goddess and guardian of happy homes who warned Laon Sina and Datu Paubari of the plot by Maklium-sa-t’wan, the God of the plains, who was jealous and angered of the love between Laon Sina and Datu Paubari, to destroy their home Halawod by a flood. In the epics she is known for her magic when she comes to the rescue of her sons or when fighting occurs among relatives. In the episode of Labaw Donggon, she assists his sons Asu Mangga and Baranugon in trying to obtain a potion needed to defeat Saragnayan, the God of Darkness, who was their fathers enemey.
Among the Bisayans prior to the Spaniards, “Sina”, actually meant “foreigner”. For the Sulod Laon Sina, who is also known as Alunsina, the Eastern Goddess of the Sky, most likely is a deity that was brought to them by their Bisayan neighbors by the coasts, however based on creation myths among the Sulod it is suggested that they once lived down below near the sea based on their epics involving long distances on rivers and open seas. One can probably guess that those who moved up the mountains when the Spaniards arrived and attacked villages as mentioned in several primary sources, that they intermarried with those already living in the mountains (as even during pre-colonial times and the time of the early Spaniards there was already two subroups of Bisayans, those who lived in the mountains and those who lived by the coasts.) and brought some of their beliefs with them. Whether this is true or not however hasn’t been proven to date but is just a theory.
Out of all the Bisayan deities, in fact Filipin@ deities in general, Laon is the most well known and recorded and until this very day is known among the Sulod of Panay. Other deities we have fragments of information on, some just what they were worshiped for but never revealing their physical descriptions of gender. What interests me about Laon is that in every primary source talking about the religious beliefs of the Bisayans Laon is always mentioned in detail with every passage the writer specifically stating that their Supreme deity was a female. To me as a modern interpretation of her she is like a mother. Though she wasn’t one of the original deities as in the Bisayan creation myth mentioned by those of Alcina and others, she isn’t mentioned, instead it is of Kaptan and Magwayen. Even though she didn’t create the first people based on the creation myth, she is still a creator deity in her own right by providing life and support among those who worshiped her by protecting the crops the fed the communities.
The Dragon of Mt. Kanloan [book draft]
So this is where it begins.
Mt. Kanlaon: The Tobacco Smoking God
Area: Negros Occidental Synopsis: The story is about a deity, and how the tobacco farmers disobeyed the orders of Kan-Laon. Fun fact: To locals that are aware of this version of the story, whenever there is smoke coming out of the crater, this means that Kan-Laon is smoking tobacco.
Illustration by Nagi
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Beware the power of the Prayer of the oppressed لَا إِلَٰهَ إِلَّا ٱللَّٰه
love, Jamie BX
Buglas Nakatundan // Negros Occidental Philippines
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An untold number of men, women, and children starved and died during this bleak moment in the nation’s history.