rowan fricks

In no Disney movie did they explain to me that I could suffer from anxiety all my adolescence and that my parents would encourage me to do so and would not support me, nor that I would live in a totally misogynistic environment and that no one would help me with my low self-esteem. I would have liked to explain to myself that it is wrong to endure this alone, that despite all the alcohol and the cuts I would not overcome it, they would only make it easier to bear

again I feel empty and sore, guilty and silent, regretting something that didn't even happen. every day of my life like this. sometimes I wonder why I should take care of something I didn't do. Caring for and protecting another person When I don't even know how to take care of and protect myself, it's exhausting to be judged for wanting to have a little peace of mind. I have creeps, I am full of guilt that I shouldn't even feel, a lump in my throat that I don't have the strength to unleash, anger that I have no one to discharge with, again everything stays in my head and there it rests, until someone make him wake up again

Am I a person who is not good for school? I became what my whole life hated? I just saw my rachel berry icon and I just think how ironic she is, maybe that's why I like her so much, despite being different and not hegemonic she always knew how to get ahead and be sure of herself, she didn't like others they will hate her but that was not an obstacle to being happy and achieving her dreams, i really long to be a rachel berry, obviously not lea michele

There's nothing I can focus on I drown in my useless thoughts that do not leave my head. I don't understand how everyone lives their whole lives thinking about the future when I don't know if I can bear this year. This pandemic made me realize how unstable I am, it was no longer the school that encouraged me to do my homework, now I am the one responsible for turning myself off, and I can't. I can't concentrate or think, I stopped being a smart girl to be a girl. A person with nothing to give, I am totally irrelevant and I took it upon myself to highlight that in all aspects, I want someone to guide me and help me without having to ask or bother anyone, is it possible?

I would like to have a life so that I can forget what this life is.