Kela

“ J u s t   T h i n k i n g … “

17k celebration giveaway!

I promised to make giveaway 2k followers ago, so that’s why 2 winners this time, both will have full color art with favourite character or OTP

♦ All fandoms

♦ All ratings

♦ All pairings

You need to follow me + reblog + like this post to participate (all three are required)

Winners will be picked on August,1

P.S. checkout last time winners

Cloudsincoffee and K

If your commissions are open and you do draw OC’s, please reblog this post! 

If you are not an artist but know of one, please reblog this and tag them or just mention their url in the tags! 

honestly just everything by the author that wrote maintenance/dark matter because theyre fucking amazing (they have around 20 sh*meless fics i think)

erasure by @grumblesandmumbles (rated M)

it’s an ETERNAL SUNSHINE AU what more do you need for a description like that sounds amazing just go read it

maintenance by devovitsuasartes (rated E)

this is probably my favorite gallavich fandom writer (though SO MANY OF YOU ARE AMAZING IF YOURE A FIC WRITER YOURE DOING GODS WORK) and this is a futuristic, alien franchise inspired look at ian and mickey when not both of them are human and it’s just really good and has a second part called dark matter that’s also wonderful

fresh meat by devovitsuasartes (rated M)

post-apocalyptic gallavich could only work when written by devovitsuasartes and this is amazing

the vise by pink_ink (rated E)

mickey’s abuse centered and heartbreaking and beautiful

a/s/l by magneticdice (rated E)

au where ian and mickey meet online ITS CUTE

20 questions by blearghthespiders (rated T)

mick overhears mandy and ian playing 20 questions where mandy is trying to figure out what guy ian has been seeing; its canon compliant and precious

the sex they should have shown by ride4812 (rated E)

just what it says on the tin. j*hn w*lls loves to deprive of us of ian and mickey’s sex scenes in full but meanwhile i have to watch fiona fuck literally everyone in the chicago metropolitan area?? blech

under skin by devovitsuasartes (rated E)

7x10 van sex 🥵

a night for firsts by blodeuwedd (rated E)

prolly my fave interpretation of the sleepover during 3x6

pretty boy by @mickeymousevich (rated E)

bc no rec would be complete with a fic devoted to mickey getting facials

a witch in wicker park by @damnnmilkovich (rated E)

i’m a SUCKER for witchcraft!gallavich being the baby witch i am and this was the first one i ever read i love it

belladonna by devovitsuasartes (rated E)

fantasy/witchcraft au that’s good for when you need a mini Reality Escape

proof by pink_ink (rated E)

This is a subject I wanted to to talk about for a long time as it’s something not only that I grew up with, but something that I’m consistently struggling with. And obviously, I’m not the only one. In fact, we hear more and more often how loneliness is incredibly common in the world. But does it actually help? Does hearing other people are as lonely as you make you less lonely?

No it fucking doesn’t.

In fact, you might have two lonely people in the room sitting together and it still doesn’t mean they’re going to connect just because they have something in common. And that something being loneliness.

Honestly, if you’ve experienced loneliness, you’re going to realize that being lonely isn’t just about being physically alone.

It’s a mental state that can actually feel like it’s going to eat you up. Like fucking cancer or something.

Over the years, I realized there are several layers to loneliness. In fact, these layers pile up on top of each other and slowly start to create the well known feeling we know as ‘depression.’ And because we don’t want to confront ourselves with that feeling, we describe it simply as ‘loneliness.’

The first layer of loneliness is naturally, the physical one. In my case, I felt it since I was a child. Before I even knew how to value friendship, my family frequently left me home alone. So there’s that. And then came the feeling of being physically alone, in school, all the time.

The second layer comes when you are with people, physically, to avoid being alone, but these people somehow never fulfill you. Or in the end, you sort of get attached to them, but they left you anyway. And maybe one day you meet someone who actually DOES fulfill you, but heck, you still feel alone. Why? Because you constantly fear they don’t like you enough and that they will leave you. Or that when you’re with them, you just sort of sense that they wish they were with someone else.

The worst part of feeling lonely is not so much that you don’t have anyone who fulfills you, but feeling like you don’t fulfill anyone.

You consistently feel like you’re either tagging along or that you’re always uninvited. You feel like you’re not good enough company, or not a good enough friend. This lowers your sense of self worth, which is a downright shame.

But I’m not exactly here to define loneliness. I mean, if you’ve been there, you don’t need anyone to define it for you, you just know you are. And just like me, you’ve probably countless times looked up things on google such as “how to get over the feeling of loneliness?” Or “how to deal with a friend leaving you?” Or some similar shit like that. And basically all articles tell you the same thing; ‘loneliness isn’t actually so bad,’ ‘you’re beautiful just as you are,’ ‘you’ll find your soulmate eventually’…well bullSHIT. Needless it is to say that these articles simply don’t help. Really.

While you may learn, eventually, to be alone, that doesn’t mean it’s less depressing or that you actually are learning to LIKE it. It just means you’re getting used to it.

Let me tell you my experience. I never in my life, had a friend I was actually happy with. All the friends I ever made was sort of a last resort. The sole reason I clung to them was because I didn’t want to be alone, but I never actually LIKED them, nor would I have chosen to be with them, had I had a choice. Not to sound ungrateful, in other words, the only things we had in common was loneliness. And those kind of friendships never work out. Because eventually they do find someone they have more in common with and then they just sort of leave you in the ditch. This happened to me when I was still in middle school. I had a group of people I sincerely considered my friends. I remember every time I went to school I would feel butterflies in my stomach at how much I was looking forward to see them. And it fell apart, just like that. I had one friend in high school. Again, not my choice. We were drawn together by our loneliness, but the moment we split ways in life, we stopped talking to each other. Downright pitiful, since I gave her four years of my life. And now I have someone I consider my friend, someone I’m actually incredibly drawn to and feel for the first time ever, that I’ve somehow connected. But lately I feel like we have less things to say to each other. Lately I feel like he’s more drawn to other people. Most of all, I feel like if I stop following him around I’d lose him. While he follows other people, I follow him. Most of the time, I feel like I’m left behind. And that’s how I came to feel that even with him, I’m terribly lonely. Even sitting with a group of people I followed to the café, I’m fucking lonely. Sometimes I’d even choose to be alone over being with them. And this isn’t to say they aren’t nice people, or that I feel like they don’t like me…it’s just that I don’t feel right when I am with them. And when I say ‘right,’ I probably mean ‘happy.’

I noticed that this feeling of ‘being left behind’ doesn’t appear only in my social circles outside of my family. I actually feel this way inside of my family too. I feel like my parents adore my siblings so much they have no love left for me. At home, I feel like there’s no space for me. And if I feel this way with my family, which I love more than anything in the fucking world, or friends I actually care about, I can’t help asking myself how much of this feeling is just inside of my fucking head? What if it’s my insecurity playing tricks on me? What if I’m actually not lonely after all?

Either way, I just realized as it’s probably affecting many people, I just wanted to write about it. Not in the way articles online do. If you’re constantly seeking the answer on Google, I can tell you right now: stop looking. You’re not going to find it. There is no answer as to why you feel this way. Perhaps it’s because we live in a world where people can only think about themselves. Perhaps it’s because you realized that people only like you when you’re happy, and ditch you when you’re depressed. And depression is pretty much as common as loneliness. Some people think they’re less lonely if they get a lot of likes on Instagram, or if they have a lot of Facebook friends. Some people spend ages reading about loneliness, either online or in books that preach about living a happier life. But there is no common solution to loneliness.

Perhaps there is not fucking answer as to why people are lonely, or why friends fall apart. Advice such as “go look for new friends” isn’t helpful. You’re not going to find answers online.

You’re going to have to find answers within yourself.

Maybe it sounds like a fucking cliché, but it’s actually literally the only advice I can give. People have different needs and react differently to different situations. We have different ways of thinking, and sometimes, these ways need changing. And only you can do that. We’re also surrounded by different people and live in different cultures. Maybe we’re lonely, but we may not be lonely in the same way.

And the worst thing about loneliness is that we believe someone will be the answer. And when you realize they’re not, it fucking hurts.

That’s because people are not answers. To quote the series ‘The End of the F***ing World’: ‘people can’t be answers, they can just be more questions.’ Most of the times these questions end up being, “what the fuck is wrong with me?”

The truth is, I sense that the reason I feel lonely when I’m around people is because I want to feel IMPORTANT to someone. And when I sense that I’m not that special fucking snowflake to that person, I feel lonely. I constantly fear that I will be replaced because I think I’m boring, or uninteresting, or simply not good enough. But that’s just me.

It’s true that one person can make you feel a whole lot worthy, even if there are hundred other people who don’t think the same. It’s even harder to make that person be you.

Although I don’t want to start with all this “love yourself” bullcock that you hear every day…it’s actually important. Not so much because ‘it’ll make other people love you more’ but because it’ll make you feel better. And the reason it’ll make you feel better is because you’ll focus on yourself more, and less on other people. It’ll also lower your expectations on other people. You won’t feel so dependent on someone else, and so depressed when that someone else isn’t there.

But in the end we’re still in the same position as we were at the beginning of this article. Fucking lonely.

“I DONT KNOW WHAT THE FUCK YOU’RE SAYING!”

“Must really clear your mind watching the sunrise after a long night of gurgling old man balls.”

“You came all the way down here to talk about my pubes?”

“You ready to go again or you need some time, firecrotch?”

“Fuck you is what you were invited to.”

“Those fingers go anywhere near that cock, Imma break every knuckle on your hand.”

“You’re going down, Army!”

"Red-head. Bat-shit crazy. Packing 9 inches.”

“Not everyone just gets to blurt out how they fuckin feel every minute.”

“Nonook of the fucking north, why don’t you lose the parka, unless you’re planning on banging Eskimo’s.”

“You wanna chit-chat more or you wanna get on me?”

“Whatever. Likin’ what I like don’t make me a bitch.”

“Does this violate my probation?”

“The fuck are you looking at?”

“GUESS WHAT WE’VE BEEN DOING DADDY? WE’VE BEEN FUCKING! AND I TAKE IT! HE GIVES IT TO ME GOOD AND HARD AND I FUCKING LIKE IT! I SUCK HIS DICK! I FUCKING LOVE IT!”

“Missed ya.”

“I like fucking carrot tops.”

“I just want everyone here to know, I’m fucking gay. Big ol’ mo.”

“Don’t do this.”

“Fuck you Gallagher.”

“So go do yoga, sing fucking Taylor Swift, I don’t give a shit. Just get out of the fucking car.”

“Can I go with him?”

“You’re under my skin man. The fuck can I do?”

“His parter. Lover. Family. Ya know?”

“Don’t fucking tell me what’s impossible.”

“I can take care of him. Okay, let me take care of him until he’s better.”

“Sorry I’m late.”

“Look don’t worry, we’ll get a dick in you as we can!”

“Of course we are.”

“C’mere”

“Ian what you and I have makes me free.”

“Together.”

“I love you… It means we take care of each other… It means thick and thin, good times, bad, sickness, health, all that shit”

“Fuck you, fuck you and especially fuck you!”

“Well this ain’t Macy’s bitch, and you ain’t window shopping.”

“Sure. Got nothin better to do than watch a bunch of pruney queens slap their sacks against your ass cheeks.”

“Yeah, I’m sure you’re gonna turn him into a nice, upstanding citizen since you’ve blown so many of them.”

“NO ONE’S GETTING LAID UNTIL THEY GET PAID!”

“They’re not climbing Everest, They’re climbing dick.”

“no that’s illegal in this country”

“anyone can jerk a cock. I jerk mine, he jerks his. Learn a unique skill or shut the fuck up.”

“I got bottom, so you’re on top.”

“Yeah whatever. Tell em you got AIDS.”

“Iiiiiiiian Gallagher! You messed with the wrong girl!”

“You wanna fuckin’ die?”

“Don’t think you’re getting off just because you’re about to drop a patty from your fur-burger.”

“the fuck they can! Look at her, she’s fuckin’ dead!”

“I’m worried about you. I love you.”

“I want you to come with me.”

“He stays here, he’s staying with me. He’s fucking family”

“Tell fuckhead this is not over!”

"Oh. Never thought I’d say this, but I’m glad I finally found Jesus.”

“Fuck you and your weird ass kid”

“You wanna get paid a little more for putting a strangers dick in your mouth?”

“… you mean horny? What 17 year old gay kid isn’t horny?”

“Yeah, please, check your phone. I’ll just yell at the wall.”

“You ever think back in the day that this is where we would be?”

“I was ‘til shit for brains here pulled his Glock out.”

“Leave the goddamn stealing to the experts. fuck.”

“Hope Damon knows how to hitchhike.”

“I could pull it out, but I don’t want to scare all the kids.”

“Oh, check it out. Ian Gallagher putting his big boy pants on.”

“I’m thinking a little bit of nipple pinching and some ass eating.”

“Sun all year round. No more freezing our asses off. Just sandals and tequila from here on, man. It’s what kept me going in the joint. The beach. Us.

“Bet your white ass burns like a mother fucker.”

“Something else I want to hit.”

“Like stab that fat fucking mick who keeps trying to steal my jello!”

“Jesus Christ. You wanna spread a blanket out and look for shooting stars next?”

“I like em sweet.”

“It’s a fucking snickers bar!”

“What the fuck does a squirrel have to do with waffles anyway?”

“YES I FUCKING KNOW I GOT SHOT!”

“Fuck I missed you.”

“Yeah ya know when someone robs me with my own fucking gun, they’re not my friend. I’m kinda funny like that.”

“Rise and fuckin shine, Cinderella.”

“I love banana pancakes!”

“Yeah I called for a Youber!”

“Whatchu going down for then, huh?”

“Card carryin, apple pie eatin, born on the fourth of July American fuckin citizen.”

"Mary Poppins here is on a warpath.”

“Look, if you dont want to hang out with me that’s fine but you need to call your family.”

“Rise and fuckin shine, Cinderella.”

“I love banana pancakes!”

“Yeah I called for a Youber!”

"Whatchu going down for then, huh?”

“Card carryin, apple pie eatin, born on the fourth of July American fuckin citizen.”

"Mary Poppins here is on a warpath.”

“Fucking cheat on me ian. Wont get out of bed and you’re fucking bouncing off the walls- I came out for you, you piece of shit!”

”Do yourself a favor and put a bullet in my chest, cause if you don’t, you’re in serious shit.”

“Okay you need to push the fuck back, nutjob.”

He assumed she wouldn’t be able to go to college because “it’s going to be super tough with a kid” but didn’t think twice about not going to college himself. They both have a kid. But it’s her responsibility?

men get to decide when it’s convenient to be a dad.

men get to decide when it’s convenient to be a dad.

your condom breaks

you feel a lump on your breast

your friends are ignoring you

you’re stranded on an island 

you got rejected by a crush

you get into a car accident

you got stung by a bee/wasp

you got fired from your job

you’re in an earthquake

your tattoo gets infected

your house is on fire

you’re lost in the woods

you get arrested abroad

you get robbed

your partner cheated on you

you’re on a ship that’s sinking

you fall into ice

you’re stuck in an elevator

you hit a deer with your car

you have food poisoning

your pet passed away

you fall off of a horse

you or your friend has alcohol poisoning

you have toxic shock syndrome