#1 depressed boygirl

fuck i still have her in the “favorites” section of my contacts . modern day speed dial . she’s there.

my sleep aid pills are lowkey expired

i made my middle name aster because one i liked the name but two at one point during my whole Plurality thing (no clue what’s going on with that ok) i named an alter aster. and i used to go by ren and bug but then bug was an alters name which is why i dont use it for myself anymore. but now im really not sure if im plural so might as well take the names back

i want to stop feeling but i have no food to binge on so it’s between drinking or taking a sleep pill

i can’t lose weight because if i go below a size 4 i wont have any clothes to wear

i doubt ive even reached maintenance calories and still im thinking stuff like “how can i eat less tomorrow” KILLING MYSELF

ive eaten enough today right…

maybe i should block her for peace of mind

time to eat my mac n cheese and pretend im ok

i keep having dreams that my hair is past my shoulders and my face looks like it did a year ago and it’s very scary

what do i do when im too tired to starve myself and too tired to put in the work to recover