DAYLIGHT.

.

“Is that what the kids are calling it nowadays?” Harper asked, eyebrow up as she took in the decorations Rowan was working on. They were impressive - as all of Rowan’s party decorations were. Her best friend never held back when it came to throwing a party. “I still think you and I would make bank as a party planning and catering duo.” Thinking out loud, Harper dropped the sad balloon from earlier onto the counter. “But if you’d like I can leave you to get high off paint fumes and helium and come back later.” Waggling an eyebrow, she sat down as instructed. Head tilting back, gray eyes stared up at the ceiling and wondered what exactly happened. Her mind had already started to muddy the details to keep herself from dwelling, but the problem was, that almost never worked. “Dunno. Think both our schedules really didn’t work together, and we grew apart.” Huffing out a laugh, Harper chanced a glance at Rowan. “Am I doomed?”

•

She laughs at Harper’s statement, shooting her friend a half-joking look. “Don’t tempt me,” she comments, knowing that she’ll likely never leave her job at the hospital but the idea of just doing this every day and spending more time with her kids? It’s tempting — if not impractical. Maybe in another life. “The little princess wanted me to make sure you’re still makin’ her cupcakes for the party. And she’s been tellin’ all her friends that this party is going to be epic so.... You know, no pressure.” Though Harper is more than capable of pulling off something amazing in the kitchen, Rowan knows. She sits down on the couch opposite of Harper, tucking her legs up underneath of her and turning to face her friend, leaning her back against the armrest. “Shit,” she sighs quietly, her heart aching at the sadness clouding over her friend. She’d never been the biggest fan of her boyfriend, but he had clearly made Harper happy and that was all Rowan could ever hope for — now where does this leave her? “You are not doomed,” she answers immediately, head shaking and brows furrowed. She leans forward, hand coming to rest on Harper’s forearm gently, thumb sweeping across the skin for a brief moment. “You’re just out of all these dumbasses league,” she says lightly, a small smile tugging up on her lips and she is only barely kidding. Harper’s the full package — she’s kind, she’s funny, she’s patient and not to mention beyond beautiful. And what does Olympus really have to offer? Her lips purse momentarily. She has always been so bad at this — at giving any sort of advice when it comes to dating because her own experience is so limited. “You know I hate to sound like a cliche but you’re gonna find someone when you’re not expectin’ it. S’what they say anyway, right? They’ve gotta be sayin’ it for a reason.”

“Thank God for the two of y’all or else I probably really wouldn’t be sharing with anyone. You and Pops taught me so much stuff growing up. I really don’t know where I’d be without you or him.” That was why it was so hard to have Andy mad at him, or disappointed in him. “I know he isn’t in a shitty mood around the people he likes. Like you and the kids and some people in the Club. I just wish I could do more to get him to forgive me.” He knew that him and Andy were both putting in effort but it was still hard. He couldn’t help but smirk when Rowan mentioned that she didn’t know who Angel was. “I guess I need to update you on my life more then, ma. I hang with her a lot. If I’m not with you guys, I’m usually with her. I mean, we’re dumb together so who knows if she actually does like me? It’s not like she’s really made any moves on me. And she’s like my best friend. I can’t ruin that.” 

•

“Just gotta give it time,” Rowan repeats what she’d been telling Todd for the better part of the year, knowing that at the end of the day that is the only thing that is going to make any of this any better. She and Andy have already had words as far as his treatment of Todd goes, but there isn’t much else she can do — he just needs to find a way to work through it. “He’s gettin’ better, right?” At least, to her it seems that way but maybe she’s just been blind to the truth, it wouldn’t be the first time. She hums a little when Todd explains who Angel is though it doesn’t make much of a different. Rowan can put a face to a name and she remembers meeting her in the hospital for all of two hours, but that’s about it and despite the fact that Todd apparently spends a lot of time with her, it isn’t like she keeps tabs on who his friends are. However, she makes a mental note to ask around about her, but she isn’t about to tell Todd that. “The worst thing she can do is say no — even if she doesn’t feel the same, that doesn’t mean it’ll ruin anything. Just might be a little awkward for a bit, but if y’all are really best friends then a little crush isn’t goin’ to fuck it up.”

“I ever tell ya how much I love you?” He laughs, knowing that /of course/ Rowan had already gotten him some. It may seem ridiculous, having to take such measures to keep their daughter from spying the candy — But Andy is the first admit their oldest is difficult to say no to, even now when the guilt of having missed the first few years of her life is no longer at the forefront of his mind. There’s no denying he had a hand in giving her a bit of complex – His return home was a transition, and stepping into proper parenthood (instead of just being on the other side of a pane of glass) was met with an immediate inability to say the word no when it came to Maddie. That, and the fact that she’s inherited her mother’s dramatics, it’s a lethal combo when she’s upset. 

“I’unno if I could sit through somethin’ like that,” His nose wrinkles at the mention of his brother’s love life, starting to wonder if the man really is cursed. This certainly isn’t the first time that a woman’s shown up to a club members doorstep with a child, but Andy hoped his brother wouldn’t end up in that situation. Or at least, he had hoped. Now that Leighton was around, it was becoming pretty clear that she was clearly with the better parent – And that she fit right in with the rest of the Thane kids. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen him that excited ‘bout sharin’.” Andy laughs at the mention of their son, though he’s happy to see him come out of his shell. He knows exactly where Benny inherited his shyness. It’s hard not to have a smile on his face when he sees Benny holding his new cousin’s hand while he shows her all his toys, or Iris and Maddie gushing over what outfits to put her in. “M’happy to have the kid around, but, ya know – It’s hard not to worry.” After all of the hoops they had to jump through to foster and then adopt the twins, Andy knows just how important it is to have the legality of it all squared away. “We sure this girl ain’t comin’ back? Just ‘takin’ a break’ or some shit?” He asks as he begins to lay pumpkin seeds out on the tray. Andy places them one by one, always claiming there’s a ‘method’ to it all, though if you asked him to explain – It’s mostly just his preference. And that he’s convinced himself they’ll cook better if the seeds aren’t touching. 

Rowan’s laughter pulls a grin from him, though his eyes move to the baby monitor just as hers do. As much as he’s enjoying them catching up, he’s not interested in having to sooth a crying baby, or convince Maddie or Benny that they’re not missing out on anything. Once it’s clear the kids are fine, he lets out the breathe he’d been holding in – A small laugh of his own passing his lips as his wife speaks. “I’ll be sure to keep that in mind,” he winks, another quiet chuckle following his words. “Cindy can get fucked.” He adds dramatically, feigning faux seriousness purely just to up the ante. A brow arches at the nickname for him, though he can’t deny he finds it pretty cute. “Betty Crocker Husband, huh? That’s a new one.” He notes, his ‘kiss the cook’ apron only further proofing Rowan’s point. 

As soon as the topic shifts to her parents though, his smile falls, eyes lifting from placing the seeds on the tray to give her a skeptical look. At one point in his life, he tried to mend his relationship with the Fishers – Now, anything have to do with Addison and Henry made him squint. And as much as he wants to shoot down the idea immediately, purely out of spite to her parents, Andy’s brow arches and his interested piqued. “That might be a good idea.” He notes with a shrug at first, knowing he doesn’t have to explain his hesitance to Rowan. Andy has no interest in denying his kids a relationship with their grandparents, especially when they’ve shown time and time again just how much they love all four kids – Even if he himself is still met with glares and snide comments. He knows they’d be happy to have their grandkids over for the night, and Andy wouldn’t mind getting the night off for his birthday. Pausing his ministrations, he moves to stand between Rowan’s legs. “Can’t say I’d mind havin’ you all to myself for a night,” He speaks quieter than needs be, his hands moving up and down her thighs. “If you think it’s a good idea… M’open to it. As long as we’re the ones takin’ up trick or treatin’. Addison can pry that from my cold dead fuckin’ hands.” There’s no heat behind the threat even though he manages a serious tone, another quiet laugh following as he leans in to kiss Rowan. 

•

Jeremiah’s love life has always been interesting to Rowan, if not just for the entertainment that it brought along with it. Obviously she had wanted him to find someone to settle down with once he made it clear that was something that he wanted, but it would be a lie to say that she hadn’t found it at least a little bit entertaining to have a front row seat to the shittiest season of The Bachelor. “I think I should get to pick the contestants on his season,” she continues on as if this is something actually happening. “I’ve got way better taste than he does.” Or at least she likes to think she does — and considering she’s been in a happy marriage for nearly half of her life, she’d say her taste is pretty good. Or maybe she had just lucked out and managed to find one of the few genuinely decent men in Olympus. Rowan doesn’t exactly have a lot to compare it to, all things considered, but she has enough single friends she has seen go through the song and dance of finding love to know that the dating pool in town doesn’t leave much to be desired. 

“It’s nice, right?” Benny and Leighton had spent the majority of the night attached at the hip and Rowan has a feeling it’ll be that way for the next few years at least, if not longer. “Is it weird I’m kinda gonna miss him bein’ up my ass all the time?” She’s joking, of course — or at least for the most part. Obviously Rowan is thrilled for Benny to have a cousin his age now to spend time with and have fun at family functions but it would be a lie to say that her heart didn’t melt at how enthralled her oldest son is with her, often following her from room to room at family dinners and insisting on sitting in her lap. Her expression changes a little when Andy talks about being worried, sighing quietly. “Jer said she signed all her parental rights away. Between that and the fact that he’s her biological father, I dunno if she’d have a leg to stand on even if she did decide to come back.” Rowan’s brows furrow, knowing that Andy is thinking about how difficult their own situation had been. Obviously Jer isn’t in for a walk in the park with social services, but the situations are like comparing apples to oranges. “S’fucked up though, right, to do that at all?” Her frown deepens even more, gaze flickering over to the baby monitor momentarily and her chest tightens at even the thought of being separated from her children and she can’t imagine anyone actually having the nerve to try and come back from abandoning their child in the first place. 

She doesn’t miss the way Andy tenses when they talk about her parents, the laughter from making fun of her coworkers and Jeremiah’s supposed curse having died down. She can’t exactly blame him. The relationship they have with her parents is strained on even their best days and more often downright turbulent. Her mother has made it clear that she has no interest in actually getting to know Andy or finding any peace with him, often ending in a fit between Rowan and her mother about how unfair it is. Still, she doesn’t want to keep her children from knowing their grandmother — especially with how fragile Rhea is right now — so Rowan tries to be the bigger person. But if Andy wanted to put his foot down and put a stop to it after everything, she wouldn’t blame him and would side with him. “I don’t even know if she’ll be able to handle all four of them. They’ve never kept the twins over night before, for all we know she’ll be callin’ us two hours in and beggin’ us to come get them.” But they both know that isn’t likely. Addison would rather die before taking that kind of blow to her pride. Rowan shifts on the counter, letting Andy stand between her thighs. Her hands move instinctively to rest on his forearms, thumb sweeping against the tattoos there. “I think it’ll be okay. We can take ‘em trick or treating, get ‘em all hopped up on sugar and drop them at their place.”  She laughs into the kiss, leaning up to meet Andy part way. “You wanna stay in for your birthday or go out?” Ideally, she would love to throw him a big party on the Saturday but considering how fragile his sobriety is right now, she doesn’t see that as the best idea. “You get to call the shots on this one.” 

“Next time tell the shit to not get on my shoes.” How he didn’t notice, it wasn’t shocking to him but it probably should’ve been. “It’s gonna teach me that I don’t wanna get stabbed by you again but that you’ll also always be there for me.” He gave her a teasing smile, “What else are sisters for if they don’t patch you up after hurtin’ you?” He then nodded and headed towards the fridge to see if he could find something. “Owe me for what? Ro, how many times have you saved my ass?” A lot of times, he knew that, “The least I could do is risk gettin’ stung by a few bees to make yours or the kids’ lives easier.”

•

Rowan rolls her eyes at Wes, though her smile remains all the same. “Why do you always gotta be such a big fuckin’ softie?” she questions, poking fun at him and handing him a bowl of slightly mashed fruit pieces. “Go feed your kid.” She balances the other three bowls in her own hands, setting the twins on the trays of their high chairs despite the fact that she knows Rae’s is going to end up on the floor for the dogs to eat and Henry will probably throw the bowl across the room when he’s done. Benny climbs up into his booster seat to happily munch on his own snack and Rowan takes a seat beside him, waiting for Wes to join them at the table. “Y’all been doin’ okay?” She asks, looking over at them. 

-

“It’s all shit, Rowan,” she counters, leaving it at that. They both know there wasn’t any way Rowan wasn’t somehow getting roped into keeping a horse or some other equally large animal on the property eventually. All Reina did was speed up the process a little bit. It’s for the same reason she and Rick had showed up tonight with a mangly little rat dog in tow — the little girls that run their lives are annoyingly impossible to say no to. The girls are at least deserving of it, though, unlike Reina’s sons and she shakes her head just as her sister’s eyes roll at the boys’ antics. “Realistically, both.” Her sons have never been all that concerned about their own wellbeing or safety and really, Reina’s never given much of a shit about it either. But even she can admit that this little stunt of theirs had been way over the top. “I think they were just antsy. Hopefully settling in somewhere good will get them to knock it the fuck off. I think Rick’s gonna talk to them, or at least to AJ.” Lord knows anything he says might just go in one ear and out the other, but AJ actually likes the man so she’s hoping at least something sticks.

It makes her realize that, while traumatizing, maybe everything that’s happened was for the best. If nothing else it managed to get Reina’s head out of her ass and now her kids are in a stable environment, and she’s almost happy, believe it or not. She nods along with her sister’s rationale, weirdly in agreement with her that peace and quiet might have been what she’s needed all along and now that they’ve both found it, hopefully everything chaotic that’s happened in their lives recently is put to rest. Her shoulders tense when Rowan asks about her new living situation, though, unsure of how much she wants to divulge about the situation. “It’s good,” she answers, giving just that little bit at first. It’s been so good that she’s almost afraid to ruin it by saying anything more, but to be honest she’s been dying to talk about the weird situation she’s gotten herself into with Rick and there’s absolutely no one else she’d ever tell besides Rowan. A beat passes between them, but before the moment is too far gone, Reina clears her throat and comes right out with it. “I slept with him.”

•

“They’ve been through a lot lately,” Rowan agrees when Reina talks about her kids. Moving home to Olympus had already been a big adjustment and then when Jason had disappeared that had only added onto how complicated things were for her niece and nephews. It was a little bit like every time something was going well for them, it would be snatched away. They’d thought they found a father figure and something permanent in Caine but obviously that hadn’t worked out, instead leaving them even more confused and stuck with a man older than dirt with little to no interest in their existence. Nevermind the fact that their entire family seems to just have a target of one kind or another on their back... well, it’s no shock that they aren’t exactly the most well-adjusted kids. “I think it’ll be good for them to be out here. It’ll be nice havin’ Rick around, maybe AJ’ll actually listen to him.” Though AJ rarely listens to anyone. Still, it’s obvious that AJ looks up to the man and Rowan is hoping that, at the very least, Rick will be able to be some kind of a role model for her nephew and give him something to strive for other than the idealized version of his father he had conjured up in his mind recently. 

But she doesn’t really have any time to linger on that any longer, Reina dropping a fucking bombshell on her so casually. Rowan’s brows raise, a small smile gracing her features. “You little slut,” she laughs lightly, poking fun gently. If it was literally anyone else, Rowan’s reaction would  be a lot different. She’d be irritated at her sister for continuing to jump from one toxic relationship to the next when she clearly needs to just focus on herself and her children and getting herself into a better place. But Rick isn’t just anyone, he’s Rick and this hardly comes as a surprise to her. Admittedly, Rowan often wondered if Rick and Reina would ever be able to address the elephant in the room between them or if they just weren’t meant to be in this lifetime, but for once she’s glad to have been wrong. “I thought there was somethin’ different between the two of y’all.” But she’s sure Reina will hate to hear that, always having to be so secretive about everything thing that she does and thinking that she needs to cover up anything genuine. So Rowan moves on quickly, “What’s that mean movin’ forward? Was it just once or are y’all makin’ it a habit?” 

.

It hit her a little later than she expected, and a little harder than she anticipated too. The breakup had been mutual, but that didn’t mean it didn’t hurt any less. Harper had been sitting around in her room for a good part of her morning, curled under her huge comforter, wondering how long she could lay there and pretend not to be a person. Apparently it wasn’t much longer; the need to get up and do something outweighed everything else, but as the chef pulled herself up and got ready for the day, the all over ache didn’t go away. Working on autopilot, Harper went through everything she had to to get ready, and let her feet guide her to her car. She didn’t even need to think about where she was going to go. The route to Rowan’s new house was almost burned into her brain - just like the way to her best friend’s old house was - and before she was fully ready for it, Harper was crossing the threshold into the home. 

Greeted with a barely there head lift from Scout, who quickly fell back asleep, Harper moved through the room and gave the balloon that fell to her feet a barely there smile. “Nah, we didn’t have plans today. Though I’ll remember how jumpy you just were for next Halloween.” Picking up the deflated balloon before a dog decided it was a snack, she set it on the table. Why do you look sad. Well, she hadn’t really expected Rowan to catch on this quickly. The chef had hoped it would at least take her two minutes. “Wow do I look that bad?” She tried to joke before falling into one of the empty spots on Rowan’s couch. “Oh, you know. It’s getting darker earlier, oh and Will and I broke up.”

•

“I’m not jumpy,” she is quick to argue, though the evidence speaks for itself. “I’m just in the zone. Iris has been up my ass about her birthday party and I set the bar for myself just a little too high last year. Gotta live up to her expectations.” Though she’s more than happy to be the designated party planner of their family, eager and more than willing to throw together themed parties for whatever occasion that might come up. She gestures vaguely to the semi-put together balloon arch, “Plus I’m light headed from all of this so... you can’t hold me jumpin’ against me.” She rambles for a moment before Harper drops the bombshell on her. “You never look bad, Harper. It’s been very annoying for the last thirty years,” she starts, trying to find the right thing to say. In all honesty, her feelings aren’t all that hurt about Harper and Will breaking up — she had gave him a chance for her best friend’s sake and she loved that Will made Harper happy but he wasn’t ever going to be her first choice for the other woman. Though that was hardly anything to do with Will as a person and rather the fact that Rowan has ridiculous expectations for anyone who thinks they might be good enough for Harper in the first place. All that being said, she’s still surprised by the news. The last that Rowan had heard, they were doing great — he’d gone to dinner with Olivia and the two seemed to be on the fast track to forever. “Here, come sit down,” she rounds the coffee table and sits on the sectional couch, gesturing to the spot  beside her. “What happened?” 

DEVELOPMENT TASK — honesty hour.

"All of it?" The words come out as a laugh, rolling her eyes at herself and how cheesy that sounds. At the end of the day, being a mom really is Rowan's favourite thing though and there isn't much about it she doesn't genuinely enjoy. "I guess probably how excited they get to see me at the end of the day. Whether I'm pickin' 'em up from school and daycare or comin' home from work, it's always nice. I like gettin' to hear Benny and Maddie tell me how their day was and I'm soakin' up every minute of baby time I've got with the twins before they hit their terrible two's in the new year. Plus they all get so damn excited, makes me practically melt every time."

DEVELOPMENT TASK — honesty hour.

setting: thane house

It feels a little like the day has gotten away from her with a million different things pulling her in a million different directions. She has the day off of work and, luckily, hadn’t been called into the hospital for any surgeries. She’d spent the morning in town, dropping Benny off at daycare and Maddie at school before taking the twin’s to an appointment with their pediatrician and running a handful of errands — Iris’ birthday party is coming up and while she has most of it handled, there is still a small handful of things she needs to get together. Once she’d picked up everything she needed she and the twins had headed home for some lunch before the twins went down for their nap. With the two toddlers sleeping, Rowan had busied herself with blowing up a ridiculous amount of balloons and painting some last minute decorations — she’d been so wrapped up in what she was doing she hadn’t heard a car pull up the driveway and practically jumped a foot in the air when the front door opens. She lets the balloon in her hand go in surprise and it makes a ridiculous noise while it comically floats across the room to where Harper now stands as it deflates. “Jesus fucking Christ. I didn’t hear you pull up. Wait — we don’t have plans today do we? Fuck, please don’t tell me I’m supposed to be dressed up for somethin’.” Her hair is in a loose braid hanging over her shoulder, one of Andy’s t-shirts hangs loosely around her thighs and the jeans she’s wearing have blue paint splotches that match the one on her cheek, curtsey of the giant ‘7′ drying in the sunroom.  “Wait, why do you look sad?”

DEVELOPMENT TASK — honesty hour.

“If it weren’t for my kids I wouldn’t have a relationship with my parents at all in the first place, so yeah I’d say it’s changed it in that sense. My parent’s didn’t want anything to do with me after I got married and they made that really clear. Even when I was pregnant they didn’t reach out until after Maddie was born and I half wonder if they wouldn’t have even then if we both hadn’t, you know, almost died. I think as good as we’re ever gonna get is just bein’ able to get through dinner a couple times a year without killin’ each other.” 

DEVELOPMENT TASK — honesty hour.

“I dunno if I’m ever really going to be able to understand it, to be honest with you. I dunno if anyone who isn’t an addict can. At least not completely. I don’t know, maybe I’m just ignorant. I think seein’ it all first hand has been eye opening though and given some insight that I didn’t have before, if that counts for anything.”

DEVELOPMENT TASK — honesty hour.

"I mean, does anyone really like havin' to ask for help at all? I think I'm as good at it as anyone else — Actually, I'm probably better at it than most of the people in my family. It's not realistic to think you can handle everythin' on your own all the time. S'nothing wrong with askin' for help if you need it."

DEVELOPMENT TASK — honesty hour.

“I’m way too emotional for my own good more often than not when it comes to makin’ decisions that don’t really matter. But as far as anything big and life changing? I use my head and I use it way too much,” she starts off with a shrug of her shoulders. Rowan makes a million little impulsive decisions a day just based on what makes her happy or makes her kids happy — inconsequential things like letting Benny skip a day of preschool so they can go on a day trip, or letting Maddie add another chicken to her flock, or spending money and buying something just because. But for anything that is going to have long-term effects she tends to go through every possible outcome and then go over it all at least two more times before coming to a decision. “I dunno if it helps or hurts one way or another. Overthinking has it’s up and it’s downs, the up being that I can convince myself I’m ready for any outcome and the down bein’ that I make myself half crazy in the process.” 

DEVELOPMENT TASK — honesty hour.

“Are we talkin’ switching forever? I don’t think I’d trade with anyone in town, not only because I actually like my life but because everyone around here is just as big of a shit show as the next person in line. I’d just be tradin’ my shit for someone else’s and wouldn’t have all the benefits of what I’ve got.” 

DEVELOPMENT TASK — honesty hour.

"When this scrawny little brunette moved in down the street from me. She rode her bike up to my house, knocked on the front door and demanded that we be best friends because she had pink streamers on her bike and I had pink lights on mine. She said that just meant we were supposed to be best friends and apparently she was right, since we haven't been able to shake each other since."