the bus is never going to come because im a bad person

The enemy's parasociality vs our diva worship

ilya always gets extra excited to play in colorado and tells everyone he just really likes beating them or whatever but shane knows it's because he wants to see blucifer at the airport

dude, this is really scary, and liminal as well. It's like the bathrooms

"I'll save you!" I cry as swords begin to erupt from my body and I scream in agony (it's not really clear how this is helping you)

no alcohol in this flask girl this is miso soup

the thing about phone in bed is that it's so awesome. almost makes you feel like betraying & destroying yourself for nothing isn't all so bad

learning languages is fun because in some areas youll be like "oh wow theres one word for this thing thats covered by 20 different words in english? thats so easy and convinient!" and then in other areas you'll be like "what the fuck do you mean you use different numbers depending on what kind of object youre counting. im going to kill myself."

I haven’t said anything interesting in a long while. this will continue

the real fantasy of heated rivalry isn’t that the hot cocky sex god will fall in love with the uptight socially awkward virgin… the real fantasy is that you can be sooooooo fucking annoying & avoidant & allergic to intimacy and someone who is securely attached will nevertheless doggedly pursue you, make you feel your feelings, and then marry you

accidentally let slip "you will be buried in my pyramid when I die" to a coworker last week btw