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Summary: The holidays are Wonka's busiest season and his work keeps him away from reader much more than either of them would like. After hours, the two spend a passionate night together as they both make the necessary arrangements to be attentive to each other's needs and empathetic of the complexity of maintaining a healthy romantic relationship that neither reader nor Wonka are accustomed to.
Author's Note: my smut fics are always between 6-10k haha so enjoy. I edited this the best I could, but for some reason I kept switching between first person and second person pov for reader (I don't know why since I always write in second person pov.) I think I fixed most of it, so if there's any parts I missed, I'm sorry. Also, I'd like to mention that Christmas isn't inherently important to the events in this story. It is used as an element only to convey why Wonka is so busy during this time of year, because most people like to buy chocolate and candy as gifts. I know Gene was Jewish, even though I believe he said he wasn't exactly religious. I have no intention of trying to be offensive/belittle/make light of anyone's religion or beliefs and I apologize if it comes across that way because it is without a doubt not my intention.
Edited.
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You’ve always believed that if you truly love someone, then you keep it a secret.
You would let that feeling freeze me down to the core – to love the way a person is meant to, but it is that same love that, inevitably and irrevocably, suffocates.
You cannot satisfy that craving the same way one might satisfy a sweet tooth. Once given a taste, it seeps down into your skin, infecting both body and mind, pierces the heart and tears it wide open.
The thundering beat inside your chest cannot be silenced. The fingertips of fate trace the spider-like, lightning-strike veins that split your heart right down the middle.
A broken heart takes love like a beating.
It all comes boiling to the surface, bubbling up and out in the breath of a second.
The truth always comes out, one way or another.
Because if you don’t let the heart have its’ way, then it will tear itself right out of your chest.
***
The days were short, but the hours were long.
You spent much of your time by yourself, as this season kept Willy preoccupied. Time marched onward and the weeks themselves seemed to drag; it was nearing Christmastime and that meant very little to you in the grand scheme of things, except that you’d be seeing less and less of your lover.
Traditionally, the holidays were a time of celebration and joy, gifts and laughter shared between friends and families alike.
However, you lived a nontraditional life now, and Willy had unwittingly shown you that the life of a chocolatier was a solitary one. You knew that the busy holiday season was what pulled him away, but his lack of attentiveness made you wonder…
The only thing that kept these thoughts at bay was the way in which he looked at you when he was around.
Willy was a difficult man to read. Whether that was intentional or not, were you still trying to determine. The only dead giveaway were his eyes – startlingly intense and piercingly blue – that bore no resemblance to subtlety.
The vastness of the heavens, it seemed, were contained within those swirling galaxies. On dark nights when the cloud cover was too thick, you traced the constellations in his eyes to guide you into his morning light.
You could see yourself peeling back the layers of his heart to get to the source of how he truly felt.
Deflect from it all he might – “I’m a trifle deaf in this ear. Speak a little louder next time–” you saw right through him and sometimes that only made him steer clear of you for longer.
It wasn’t that he did not care for you; it was quite the opposite. Perhaps the extent to which he cared was a bit overwhelming for him at times. He immersed himself in his work during these times, else his mind inevitably carried him to places he would rather not visit.
Willy Wonka’s mind was not a place any person, sometimes even himself, should ever go without a guide or a distinct way back.
Though anyone with half a brain could tell that the amazing chocolatier was a troubled man on occasion, his true nature shone through in his creations. Something about this season’s batch of chocolate was a touch sweeter than ones previous. It would go undetected by those who did not have a refined palate, but like the saying goes, a true artist would put their blood, sweat and tears into their work and Willy Wonka was a mastermind.
He knew exactly what he was doing and what he meant to convey, if only between himself and one other: the world’s most famous chocolatier was in love.
***
You sat on the plush sofa in the personal wing of the factory, a book in one hand and a mug of hot chocolate in the other. You were nestled beneath a thick-knit, purple blanket as you read and waited on Willy to return to your den for the night.
You saw less and less of him the closer it got to the holidays, but such was the nature of his business. Christmastime was one of the busiest seasons and the one in which he made most of his money (the second being Valentine’s Day.) People bought exorbitant amounts of candies and chocolate during the holidays and so Willy was forced to expedite production (though never sacrificing quality) and work long, difficult hours preparing new and exciting treats for the public. In fact, it was no well-kept secret that Willy Wonka unveiled his newest creations around this time of year and that very news was plastered in every newspaper, magazine and bulletin across the world as people anticipated the exciting, brand-new sweets there would be to try.
You knew the excitement and rush of the season fed into Willy’s own excitement over his work. He was thrilled to be working on new ideas and expressing himself through his creativity and imagination. It meant the world to him and so you did your best to stay out of the way. You did not want to make the situation about you and, after all, he always made it up to you.
He was aware that his absence bothered you and he tried not to think about the fact that he may or may not be doing irreparable damage to your relationship.
Not every difficult time or situation was an attack against you. It wasn’t personal, nor was it anyone’s explicit fault. Willy had a factory to run, Oompa-Loompas to manage and ideas to manifest into reality. Sometimes, your relationship would take a backseat and if you were serious about being with him, then you would have to be alright with that and you were, although that did not mean that it didn’t hurt from time to time.
It would have been nice to relax and enjoy the season with your lover without his work getting in the way. You would have loved to curl up with him, sitting at opposite ends of the couch and enjoying lots of hot chocolate and hours of warm conversation. If you had your pick, you’d gladly have him here with you now, trading the book in your hands for his warm body, his fingers linked perfectly into the spaces between yours.
You reasoned that this was just how things would have to be for now. No sense in adding more pressure on him by complaining. He was aware of how you felt, but sadly there was nothing to be done about it. You never would have dreamed of asking him to pick between his work and you. That would not have been fair or right. You could handle this, for now, but deep down you missed him terribly.
Even if you chose to spend time with him inside the factory part of the building, he would be working the whole time. There simply was no time for much of anything else. He did like when you would drop by because you were his faithful little taste-tester. Better to try it out on you before selling it to the masses – that would seem cruel, knowing that his candies have had certain negative effects on people in the past, but rest assured, Willy had never given you anything that might harm you.
Any candy which made its way to you had been tested and re-tested to perfection before it ever passed between your lips.
He wanted feedback on his candy before it left the factory and you were more than happy to offer it to him, to which he was enthusiastically grateful. The only problem was, true to inventor fashion, he asked for feedback on everything. He wanted your opinion and was asking for it increasingly often these days. When you didn’t show up to the inventing room on certain days, he’d bring a whole box back to your shared living space and eagerly watch you with anticipation of your positive remarks as you were asked to try every piece.
He was always so grateful to you for that and, honestly, you didn’t mind. You liked candy and chocolate, so there was no reason you couldn’t afford him this act of kindness.
The only thing you really felt like you were missing was him and it plagued your mind most often while you were alone, which was of course very often. You kept yourself busy and occupied your thoughts with other things as much as you were able, but when you settled in for the night, your loneliness crept in and took up the space beside you that would have otherwise been occupied by your beloved chocolatier.
You didn’t mind your alone time, but too much of it was not ideal.
Too much of a good thing came with a price and now it seemed you were paying it with interest.
The sound of a door opening and shutting pulled you from your thoughts. You glanced down at your book to realize you’d just had it propped open against your knees this whole time and hadn’t read a bit. You marked your place and closed it with a huff, setting it down on the end table beside you, your mug of half-drank cocoa with it.
A quick glance at the clock hanging on the wall – thank God he hadn’t cut that one in half – showed that it was ten minutes after midnight.
It did not come as a surprise that Willy was so late. It was only your wildest guess as to what he had been working on, but that point was moot. You did not really care what he was working on.
That thought seemed harsh and you frowned; no, you were adamantly against resenting him for his work. That path was one you would not let yourself go down, a trap of codependence, you told yourself, but why couldn’t he just be a little more present with you? Surely it wasn’t too much to ask.
Perhaps you would ask.
It would make the most sense to be upfront with him about how you were feeling and to be as direct as possible.
You did not move from the couch. You waited on Willy to come and find you, unlike the many days and nights when you might have greeted him at the door.
Several quiet moments passed between yourself and your thoughts before Willy entered the room. He had shed his purple coat at the door, as well as his hat and cane, “there you are, my dear,” his gentle tone made your stomach clench as warmth pooled in your abdomen. Even troubled with doubts, you were still delighted to see him.
You watched as he approached and dropped himself on the opposite end of the couch. He nudged your knee with his, silently asking for a bit more space which you politely gave, “I would have been back sooner, but I’ve been so busy, as I’m sure you’re aware.”
“Yes, it is that time of year,” you replied coolly. You didn’t want to jump into the meat of the discussion too soon, otherwise he might take offense where there was none.
He seemed in a good enough mood that perhaps this would be the perfect time to strike.
“Yes, my dear, it’s the holiday season which does wonders for my business and I couldn’t be happier.”
His pride in the work he was doing warmed your heart. You listened to him for a while as he recounted what he had been working on that day.
He cared so much and spoke so passionately, yet your mind began to wander.
“Is everything alright, my dear?”
His tender voice captured your attention and you blinked slowly, “yes, I’m fine. But, there is something I would like to talk to you about.”
His lips hitched into a faint smile, then flattened into a serious line. It bothered you, not being able to read his face.
“There is? Well, you know that you can always talk to me about anything on your mind.”
You didn’t want to overwhelm him, not when he was already so fully immersed within his work. He needed time and space to focus. He did not need you hindering his creative flow by hanging all over him and demanding more attention. He already gave so much; how could you even dare to think that he owed you more?
“I know you’re busy this time of year, but do you think it would be possible for us to spend a little more time together?” My voice cracked as I added, “I…really miss you, Willy.”
You hadn’t meant to speak with words that were laced with such pain, but in fairness you did miss him terribly. By the time he made his way to you most nights, you were already in bed or heading there and in the mornings before you’d woken up, he would be gone. It bothered you to not see him and you wanted him to hear it. He needed to know the truth if you meant to be honest with him, you only hoped he’d be able to understand that you didn’t blame him.
Conversations like this always made you second guess yourself.
By this point, you realized that he had not responded. He was probably just thinking about what he would say, but usually it didn’t take him this long to reply.
“Willy?” you gently urged him, reaching out to place your hand on his arm.
Whenever he felt the gentle graze of your fingertips against the fabric of his shirt, he glanced down, admiring the tender touch with a wistful smile on his face before he looked up at you and the emotion held inside of those ice-blue eyes was almost enough to send you over the edge and into uncontrollable sobs of relief.
You felt the tension in your shoulders beginning to dissipate. Good, he felt the same way.
He was still staring at you like there was something more on his mind. That was the way things were with Wonka and you’d be lying to yourself if you hadn’t thought on more than one occasion that it’s a good thing you weren’t a mind reader because there were things that went on inside his head that should stay there. It was better that you didn’t try to trace his Machiavellian ways or make sense of the enigmatic man who so frequently surprised you with small glimpses into how he really thought and viewed the world. It was fun getting to know who he was, but the true wonderment was in not knowing him at all.
He tested your mind and all your senses, but never pushed your boundaries. He could knock you off your stride in seconds, then act as if nothing had happened. You were playing his little chess game and he was already three or more moves ahead. It had only been a matter of time before you had fallen into his hands like this.
Things were as they were because Wonka wanted them to be. His quips and wisecracks often went over people’s heads, especially because of how well-versed he was in literature and culture. He could make the whole world fall in love with him at once, then forget him as soon as they were no longer in his presence, but you believed the world adored him much more than he liked to think it did.
“I didn’t say anything sooner because I didn’t want it to seem like I was being insensitive, since I know you’re not intentionally ignoring me.”
This statement made him smile for some reason, “where love is great, the littlest doubts are fear; where little fears grow great, great love grows there.” (William Shakespeare, Hamlet.)
At first, you didn’t know what to say. You had a bit of trouble discerning what he meant sometimes, missing the larger picture for deciding why he chose a specific quote at a specific time.
Seeming to read your thoughts, he let out a polite chuckle, “This is to say, even in love do the smallest doubts scare you, but when you are afraid of such little things, you are still in love, too.”
His explanation seemed to help, if only for a second.
It was true that you had your doubts, but those doubts only stemmed from love. That fear which grew inside of you had taken root, but when enough time had passed, it was the love which had bloomed from it.
Both the fear and love would come with a connection as strong as this one.
In the beginning, Willy had never dreamed of having a romantic partner. His solitary lifestyle simply lacked the means necessary to cultivate a long-term relationship. He had never desired romance or human connection of any kind. He had his factory and the Oompa-Loompas to look after; he was stretched thin as it was.
It was with sickening rapture that he sought the reason for why his heart seemed so content within your hands. He had to know the true meaning behind what he felt, even if he had to wade out in to the wild, dark depths up to his neck. He was barely treading water, sinking still, feet kicking desperately and hands reaching, clawing for purchase but there was nothing for him to grab onto. No way to steady himself as his soul careened toward what he had been running from for so long, a runaway train on the track towards trust and away from self-preservation.
At first, you wanted to be the one in control. You had your fair share of demons and setting the pace for the relationship yourself was very important to you, but neither of you wanted to go too far too fast.
You became acclimated to his world quite quickly.
You just seemed to fit right in and, with time, Wonka found himself closer to you than he had ever been with another person.
The two of you had been together for quite some time now and the red string of fate binding your hearts together was pulled taut.
It seemed that you both knew you were in the right hands and the love that grew here was stronger than any fears or doubts which gripped you.
“What scares me the most is that you’re pulling away from me,” you confessed to him, and that revelation made his eyes widen perceptibly, “sometimes I think you don’t even realize that you’re doing it.”
The conversation had shifted and Wonka realized that you were no longer just discussing his absence in light of the holidays. There was deeper emotion and meaning laced within what you were saying to him now.
He was used to being alone, as were you. The only difference was that while you had never lost hope that the right person might come along, he had done everything he could to close himself off. His heart was a precious thing and that was what the world had been after. Yes, he had closed his factory because of theft, but he put his whole heart into his work and, if anyone were to steal his heart, then there would be nothing left for the one whom it belonged to.
He made sure he guarded his heart all these years, even if he didn’t know the reason for it. It was easier to deny the very fact that love was something every person desires, even ones who have become so layered and complex that it would be difficult to imagine what a true love might look like for them.
Wonka was not afraid of anything.
However, if one thing made him apprehensive it was the idea of anyone finding him out.
Not that there was any chance of that; no one was able to think quite like him. But if anyone came close, that meant he’d cling to them forever, holding on for dear love.
His gaze shifted down to your hands that were folded in your lap and reached for one. Long, delicate fingers gently wrapping around your right hand as he brought it to his mouth.
A kiss for each finger, you counted, one two three four five…
Then, his lips made contact with your inner wrist. The sudden and unexpected brush of lips against your sensitive skin made your breath hitch.
“I promise to be more attentive,” he whispered on your skin, his hot breath tickling the inner area of your wrist, “the only one pulling me anywhere is you and I am only moving forward.”
“You’ve got to go forwards to go back.”
He had believed that, in more ways than just one, in relation to his factory and to people, but there was no going back now. Even if that were an opinion, he wouldn’t have wanted to.
Within half a second, he dropped your hand and tilted his head, leaned in close and pressed his warm lips to yours in the most sensual, tender kiss your lips had ever known.
Your heart fluttered in your chest like butterfly wings beating against your ribcage, desperate to free itself and get to his. Your soul sought the kind of connection that your mouths were getting and jealousy was an understatement.
If this was his way of making it up to you, then let it be known that you wanted nothing else for Christmas this year than a clear mind and the taste of your lover left over on your cupid’s bow.
It was all electric, body and soul alight, glistening brighter than fairy lights strung up for the season.
He tasted sweeter than his own candy and you smiled into the kiss at the very thought. He ate a lot of his own sweets, if only to test the taste, and you couldn’t help but enjoy the sugared kisses, your sweet tooth craving satisfied only by his honeyed lips.
Somewhere in the haze you found the opportunity to grip handfuls of his tawny tresses, fingers digging into the soft curls that drove your heart mad with desire. You loved his hair and so infrequently did he let you touch or comb it. It was about as unruly as he was, wild, untamed and free, just like the man it belonged to.
Your gentle tugging on his hair elicited a soft grunt from him and his lips attacked yours more feverishly, taking on a more aggressive quality now that you had accepted and encouraged him.
There was no rhyme or reason for anything that occurred while you were with him, except what was happening now.
Wonka did everything on a whim. Sleeping, eating, working…no schedule, no routine, no nonsense.
“A little nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men.”
Perhaps the most nonsensical thing that had ever happened in Wonka’s factory was your fear that he might leave you.
Strike that. Don’t reverse it.
You didn’t want anything to change. There were more twists and turns in this man’s head than there were in his factory and you had lost yourself trying to find your way out. You never left his mind, not once. Even while he worked or spent time alone, you were in his thoughts, whether it was subconscious or not.
Your own mind didn’t register your movement as you crawled closer and sought out more of his sugary sweetness which was more potent than any nectar of the gods. Your lips devoured his, tasting every inch of the same mouth that poured prose and poetry into your ear each night that you laid with him.
He hummed pleasantly against your lips. His gentle sounds teased you; so rare was it that he ever made a sound during these moments of intimacy. Oh, how you tried, and your futile attempts filled him with great satisfaction. He had more discipline than you ever imagined; living alone for so many years without the warmth of another had taught him to go without, but desperation clung to his bones and manifested through each fervent, heated kiss.
Willy wouldn’t have described himself as needy, but he appreciated physical intimacy when it occurred and sometimes it was as necessary as any other proper communication. He wanted more than a quick romp; he craved human connection. It was completely unfounded for someone like him to want to share a connection with anyone, but here he was asking for it with his mouth on yours and your reciprocation of that same need meant everything to him.
You tested the waters, grazing your teeth along his bottom lip to determine how far he might be willing to go. He didn’t stop you. His lips simply parted, allowing entry of your tongue.
The only sound he made was a little gasp, which you swallowed as your tongue delved in to taste the inside of his mouth. Your hands were still holding the sides of his head, fingers buried deep within his unruly curls.
He helped maneuver your body closer to his, unabashedly bringing you to sit on his lap. As you settled on top of him, one of his large hands moved down to the small of your back and held you firmly in place.
You could feel the heat of his hand through your shirt. You had no grasp of how long the two of you continued to kiss like that. The passage of time, though a precious thing, was unimportant in the current moment. The only thing you demanded more of was him and you would greedily take all that he had to offer you.
You were enchanted by him. He surprised you at every turn and, if it had been anyone else, you’d have questioned where you stood with them, but wasn’t that the point? The less anyone knew about Willy Wonka, the more exciting it felt to be in his presence.
It was impossible to know whether the things he revealed about himself were true or not and there was beauty in that alone. If beauty was in the eye of the beholder, then he had the upper hand here.
You did not stop to see why his hand had suddenly been removed from your back, but any questions you might’ve wished to voice were answered when you noticed him reaching for one of the top buttons on his vest.
The steady progression of events had led you here and you were too immersed within the moment to stop him, but you wouldn’t have wanted to anyway. You were entranced, enthralled, enraptured by the whole of him and his heart belonged to yours.
The wet graze of your tongue against his cupid’s bow spurred him further, lips tangled tantalizingly with yours as his fingers worked open the buttons on his vest.
The threshold had been breached.
The moment was yours for the taking, if you wanted it and you knew that you did.
Lost somewhere between drunk on lust and in love, you began to help him unbutton, starting at the bottom of his vest and continuing until your hands met in the middle of his chest. You followed this same pattern for both rows of buttons.
Coincidentally, this journey ended right above his heart, but another one was merely beginning.
Your hands were shaking with anticipation as you looked up to notice him already gazing at you lovingly. A tender smile curved his lips like a crescent moon and the sunlight bleeding out through the cracks in your soul made the stars in his eyes sparkle.
You cupped his cheek and pressed a gentle kiss onto the bridge of his nose. His arms encircled you, holding you flush against him and his shirtsleeves rode up on his forearms, exposing just a fraction of skin with a fine dusting of sand-colored hair.
You let him hold you to him as his lips attached to your neck. You imagined when he pulled back that there would be an imprint of lips, a tattoo of his love painted across your collarbone, signifying that you belonged to him alone.
You tilted your head to give him better access and he thanked you by delivering a loving nip to the column of your neck.
You hadn’t forgotten your intention.
With hands still shaking, you reached for his vest and pulled it open. His lips detached from your neck in an instant and long, elegant fingers wrapped around your wrist, effectively stopping you from undressing him.
His eyes were crystalline pools of skylight, airy and substantially quantified by the depths within them. They had a mirror-like quality and you could see yourself reflected in them as you held his gaze for a heartbeat too long.
“Only if…this is something that we both want…”
Willy’s words of brevity filled you with wonder.
“If I’m being honest with you, Willy…I don’t think I’ve ever wanted something more than I want you now.”
That single sentence melded with and fused into his soul. In a breath-to-breath admission of consent, your words had tied his tongue with cursive letters.
He breathed a sigh of relief and held within that exhale was his own consent. You had granted him permission, assuring him that you were not offering yourself out of obligation or for complacency’s sake and that thrilled him perhaps as much as the act itself would. He felt the blood rush to his groin and he moved beneath you, shifting your body weight more onto his thigh.
Willy nuzzled your cheek, dragging his nose along your soft skin. His arms had yet to unravel themselves from around you; he wanted to take his time. However, he was increasingly aware of his own sense of desperation. It had been some time since he had last gotten into bed with a lover.
Actually, the last time he had gotten into bed with anyone was with you.
Willy had a low sex drive, but on occasion it would crop up and remind him that he was, in fact, human and had needs, whether it was simple biology or heightened by the desire to connect with the one he loved.
Whenever he thought of a lover and what had previously been just some nameless face at the forefront of his mind, that vision was now you. Yours was the love he sought; your hands were the ones meant to hold his heart.
He let go of you and shrugged off his vest.
Your lips captured his once again and he imagined this was what dreams tasted like.
He went to stand up and you quickly took the hint and moved off his lap. He got up and began unbuttoning his white undershirt while you watched. He could see the fire burning in your irises, your pupils dilated with desire as you watched his delicate fingers pop open each button.
You knew better than to rush him; a treat as sweet as him was meant to be savored.
You took this opportunity to slip your own shirt off your body. With your skin exposed, his eyes traveled across your midsection and his fingers hesitated, fumbling the button he was on. His breath hitched and you swore you heard him whisper the word “beautiful” as he gazed upon you.
Once he had recovered, the swiftness with which he finished removing his undershirt made your head spin. In his haste, he had forgotten to remove his bow tie and unbutton his sleeve cuffs, which made you giggle. He seemed flustered, his cheeks reddening once he realized, and perhaps this was the first time you had ever witnessed him with a blush on his cheeks.
You reached out to help him and a soft chuckle dripped from his lips like maple syrup, “It would appear I’ve gotten a bit ahead of myself, my dear.”
You chuckled as well as his bow tie and undershirt were removed, “well, I’ll take it as a compliment…that you seem so eager to have me.”
Your words were spoken as if in jest, but his response was anything but.
“Doubt truth to be a liar; but never doubt that I love,” he quoted, his smooth baritone steeping you in the tea of his desire. (William Shakespeare, Hamlet.)
It was enough to quiet your mind and when he said it, you felt your entire world get a little smaller. Your heightened senses had inflated your soul and carried you to the clouds. You were a runaway balloon stuck in a tree and his words were the hand that enclosed around your string. You had seen vast lands and known love in its many forms, but never until this moment had you felt so much in the presence of one.
His heart knew yours better than it knew itself and the cracks left by heartbreak were filled in by your endless love for each other.
You moved in to kiss him again and his hands cupped your warm cheeks. His breath tasted as sweet as the chocolate he made, which only made sense because of how often you saw him sampling it. He kept a bit in his coat that he’d pull out and nibble upon and often would you go sifting through his pockets for little treasures and treats that he had left over. Sometimes you found such delights that it had to have been no accident that they had been left behind. No, he knew your guilty pleasure was his chocolate and he made sure to satisfy your cravings, both for chocolate and for him, as often as possible.
Your tongue slipped inside his mouth and he finally graced your ears with a very delicate moan.
His hands moved down the length of your arms to finally grab your hips. He pulled you in, your pelvis against his, and you could feel the hard press of his bulge against your thigh.
While you kissed, he began to walk you backwards toward your shared bedroom.
You could not have torn your lips apart to look where you were going even if you wanted to.
You trusted him to get you there safely, perhaps more than you had ever trusted another person or at least you hadn’t trusted anyone this deeply in a very long time. Too many others had taken a hammer to your jawbreaker heart and smashed it to more manageably sized pieces, but once broken, it could never be put back together without its’ once-pristine surface now marred with jagged cracks.
At least the breakage let the light of your soul pour out into his hands…
Willy was stained by your brokenness, his heart bruised the color of your trauma.
He had been burned before, broken in a very real way, and therefore it was never a question of if you would trust him, but how much and when. He knew how long it could take a person to truly open up if they wanted to, but for you, he was willing to wait an eternity and then some.
Time stood still and Willy had the presence of mind to remember how it felt to cradle your body to his when the only things that cemented your souls was an equal share of trust and love for one another and the mutual decision to take just one more chance.
You sighed with relief when the backs of your knees connected with the mattress.
Willy didn’t push you or press for more. His lips left yours in favor of your neck and several chaste yet sweet kisses were left along your collar bone as if his lips were asking for permission without the accompaniment of words.
In between you, you reached for his belt.
He felt your fingers wrap around the waistband of his trousers and a gentle smirk crossed his features, “after something, are we?”
His coy response made the tips of your ears get hot and you huffed, “well, it isn’t my fault that I’ve gone and gotten all excited…”
“I hope you’re not implying that it’s mine,” he replied as his smirk widened.
“I wasn’t implying anything,” your time spent with him had sharpened your wit, “I’m saying it.”
His eyes shared in your mirth, twinkling with laughter at your response. He wrapped an arm around your lower back and pulled you in. With his cheek to yours, lips near your ear, he whispered, “shall we make use of your excitement, then, dear?”
You felt a shudder run down your spine as he spoke to you, the dulcet undertones of his honeyed voice pierced you like a knife through the delicate flesh of an orange. You wanted to sink your fingers into his heart and peel it apart to devour the pieces, sustaining yourself on his love.
You nodded and he deemed it appropriate to continue. He gently pushed your hands from his belt and took on the task himself. He pulled it from the loops and laid it on the chair nearest to him.
When he turned back to you, you were already removing your pants. He smiled to himself, stopping in his tracks to admire you as you undressed. He almost wanted to help you, but held himself back. Mutual trust came at a price and he would not want to overstep any unspoken boundaries. You had not explicitly told him not to help, but you hadn’t told him to do it either and so he decided it was best to let you indicate what you wanted from him and how comfortable you were with the situation.
Neither you nor he were particularly trusting individuals. Your experiences with people who took advantage of others made you wary and skeptical, through no fault of your own. Maturity and wisdom came with age and while you had both grown and learned, you had built walls around yourselves both figuratively and literally, in Wonka’s case, to guard your hearts and protect them.
Now, you were bearing your souls to each other.
It was an unlikely thing, but you were both ready. You had known Wonka for a long time now and you had no doubt that you and he were meant to be in each other’s lives. There was a reason that you were here. Even though you might have needed a bit of reassurance from time to time, it was never because you truly thought he might leave you. Giving word to that unreasonable fear set you free, because in your heart of hearts you realized that you were not afraid at all.
You were lonely.
You had forced it down for years, but acknowledging it now was cathartic, because never again would you find yourself isolated like you had so many years before.
Willy was no stranger to isolation either. Though he had reasons other than your own, he empathized.
It was difficult, at times, for the two of you to find a rhythm. Both of you had been alone for so long that it took time to become acclimated to sharing your lives with each other, but in this moment you both knew that there was no person you would each rather share a life with than each other.
Willy was never at risk of pulling away. He was simply learning how to love you.
As soon as you pushed off your pants and stepped out of them, he was kissing you again. In a flourish of limbs and bare skin, you fell backwards onto the mattress with him. His hot lips descended over yours as his fingers linked into the spaces between your own. In all ways except for one, your two bodies were unified and, if either of you could help it, that would soon be remedied.
The mattress dipped and shifted beneath your shared weight as Willy crawled on top of you. You held his hands for as long as you were capable of doing before you needed to feel him more solidly at your fingertips. You dropped his hand, grabbed his shoulder and dug in your nails to hear him hiss into your ear and nip at your neck.
He couldn’t even finish undressing because you demanded every ounce of his attention.
Your spirits were engaged in this battle of carnality and you had consumed him, corrupted his mind and possessed him body and soul, but all’s fair in love and war, both of which you had waged fervently on his senses.
At risk of ruining the moment, he pulled away and got up to finish removing his trousers. Your chest heaved as you took a moment to catch your breath, propping yourself up on one arm.
“And here I thought…we were just getting to the good part,” I quipped. A teasing smile bloomed on my face as he turned to look down at me.
“And I thought you liked my kisses,” He replied without missing a beat.
His lopsided grin made you giggle, but the sound of his zipper being pulled down tore your attention away from the witty banter. The fire of fierce need had begun to burn bright inside your belly once again after being extinguished to mere embers only seconds ago.
You watched him kick off his trousers and make no move to pick them up.
He moved back down onto the bed and leaned into you. You met him halfway and pecked a chaste kiss onto his lips. Your bodies fit together like two immaculately chiseled sculptures whose delicate features appeared to be made of something much softer than stone.
You knew what he wanted from you now and you felt goosebumps rising on your flesh as you anticipated his caress.
He cupped your head, holding you to him as he lowered you back against the pillows. He liked to take charge of this part himself and you let him, despite the anxiety you felt at relinquishing control over yourself. You didn’t like feeling out of control, especially of your body and Willy knew this. He tried his best to make you feel comfortable and safe, never moving forward without verbal consent.
“Shall I touch you, dear?”
You reflected on his question before you nodded, swallowing thickly before you could make a sound, “yes.”
You knew that he would check in with you frequently to make certain you still wished to continue.
With your consent, his fingertips grazed the length of your arms. His warm touch sent pleasant shivers through you and you fought the urge to arch into him. He had a way of making you feel everything he wanted you to feel with just one touch. It was like magic, the control he had over your body and sometimes you wondered if his creative abilities branched into other realms as well.
His hands slid down your sides, massaging your warm skin and admiring your supple curves, the angles and indentations of your hips. Before he traveled lower, Willy wanted to devote some appreciation to the rest of your body first. His hands moved to your back, working underneath you to swiftly unclip your bra. He had a way of doing things so fast that you barely had time to register what he was doing before it was done. Perhaps it didn’t seem possible, but impossibility did not exist where Willy Wonka came from; if there was a way to do the impossible, he had already figured it out and told no one.
With your unclasped bra no longer pulled taut, he delicately pushed the straps off your shoulders and plucked the hindersome piece of fabric away from your chest. It dropped unceremoniously to the floor and his blue eyes glittered with mischief when he looked upon your exposed breasts.
You wanted to cover them, but he held your arms at your sides. True to the creative genius he was, he had to admire beauty where and when he saw it and you were a masterpiece. His tight smile had relaxed as he gazed down at you beneath him and he practically cooed with appreciation for your form.
“You’re very beautiful,” he whispered heatedly, like it was almost difficult for him to get the words out. He was overwhelmed with all his attention focused on the body before him.
You wanted to thank him for the compliment, but all that came out was a soft squeak.
He chuckled at your little sound and bent his head. He placed a firm kiss on your left breast and you sighed in pleasure at the gentle touch of his plush lips on your pillowy skin. His lips traced the curves of your breasts before encircling one of your nipples, suckling lightly as if it were a piece of candy.
You mewled and arched into his mouth, desiring more from him and as quickly as possible, but Willy liked to take his time with you. He never left you unsatisfied, but you could expect nothing to be fast paced.
His fingers wrapped around your hips to hold you in place as he moved to your other breast and did the same thing. His hot tongue teased your candy pieces to hardness and he hummed his appreciation, sending waves of pleasure down to your core.
You squirmed in his grasp and whimpered pathetically, “please, Willy,” you begged him, “I want you now.”
“Don’t worry, you’ll have me, dear,” he reassured you, his thumbs rubbing placatingly against your hips, “when I’m ready for you to.”
His teasing remark made you huff in irritation until his fingers dipped beneath the waistband of your cotton panties and paused you in your tracks.
You whined as his fingers barely breached the fabric barrier before he removed them. His hands moved to your inner thighs and spread your legs apart for him to nestle in between them.
All you could do was watch as he leaned closer and pressed a kiss to your navel, just below your belly button. His kisses traveled lower and lower down your pelvis to your pubic bone and finally to your core. You writhed in pleasure when his mouth found its way to where you wanted it, but your panties were still in the way and you groaned with frustration.
Heat emanated from your core due to your arousal and the crotch of your panties were damp with your wetness.
Your head dropped back against the pillow as he used the tip of his nose to brush lightly against your clit through your panties.
You were so pliant to his will and responsive to his touch that he almost felt powerful. If it had been anyone other than him, he would have, but all he felt in this moment was an overwhelming feeling of love. The fact that he could give you a comfortable experience of vulnerability and pleasure perhaps did enflame his ego a bit, but he loved you even more for it. To see you enjoying yourself because of him was almost too much for him to handle and he could feel his cock swell to attention.
He placed a couple of open-mouthed kisses to the crotch of your panties before he dragged them down your legs. He would have liked to tease you more, but he was already beginning to lose patience and he didn’t want to rush through too quickly.
With your panties removed, he could admire your glistening folds and the sweet juices that had dribbled out of you. His mouth watered as he delved in for a taste, his tongue tentatively flickering against your opening.
You let out a cry and bucked your hips, desperate for him to fill you. You needed friction and fullness to achieve release and Willy knew you couldn’t get either of those things without his compliance. He smirked at that and lowered his head between your thighs.
Your hot core pulsed as more of your honey leaked onto his tongue. He moaned in satisfaction, savoring the taste of your sweetness and the delicious sounds you were making for him. He had never tasted anything this sweet except for his chocolate and if he could have only one of those two things right now he would have picked you without a second thought.
It was almost too much for him to pull his mouth away, but he knew that he must if he were to indulge in the ultimate act of pleasure with you. You both wanted that more than you wanted air to breathe. A greater craving than candy, your existing love and soul connection a stronger aphrodisiac than chocolate.
With a final flick of his tongue against your clit, he dragged his mouth off you. You whimpered at the loss, but in the back of your lust-flavored cotton candy mind you knew that your shared night of pleasure was just beginning.
He got off the bed again and opened the nightstand drawer. He withdrew a small tinfoil packet and a small clear bottle of lubricant.
You were still sprawled out on the mattress, your hair a halo around your head. The darkened room made it difficult to see what he was doing, but your eyes had adjusted enough for you to see movement.
You felt eyes on you and before you glanced up from the object he was holding, his voice broke the silence, “are you comfortable continuing?”
Driven by lust and lover’s greed, you nodded your consent. Willy did not respond at first, waiting on your actual acknowledgement and proper agreement. Your voice was shaky as you replied to him, but you knew what you wanted and were certain in your response, “yes. I want this. I want you, Willy.”
The sincerity in your voice convinced him and he tore open the condom wrapper.
Excitement thrilled you and coursed through your veins, carried into your heart by blood. Your body was singing with sensation as you wanted nothing more than his solid body atop you, his hard length buried in your tight heat.
You watched him with barely-concealed enthusiasm – well, perhaps the only concealment was from the darkness in the bedroom – as he took off his underwear and rolled the condom on. He then squirted a generous amount of lube onto his fingers and coated his cock.
You could hear him jerking himself off and the obscenely slick sounds from the generous amount of lube. He had yet to give himself any physical stimulation up until this point and you were eager to repay the favor.
In the dark, your reached for him and he came to you, ready to meld together and fill you full of himself.
He positioned himself on top and guided your legs around his hips. He propped himself up with one forearm flat against the mattress so that he wouldn’t rest his entire body weight on you and the other guided his condom-covered tip to your entrance.
He gave your forehead a tender kiss as he pressed in. Your lips parted at your sharp intake of breath and your muscles tightened and seized around him. Willy kissed your face, calming you and keeping you still and relaxed until he bottomed out.
He nuzzled against your cheek and moved his free arm behind you to cradle your head.
You tilted your head back and captured his lips. The two of you kissed lazily for several moments as your bodies adjusted to one another. Your walls twitched around his cock, sending jolts of electricity down to his toes, into the pit of his stomach and behind his eyes. Everything felt fuzzy and seemed out of focus except for you.
The one thing that was clear to him was his love for you and the appreciation he had for you being a part of his life. If he could not trust a single soul with his legacy, he knew that he could trust you with himself and that was more than enough.
For once, nothing made you question Willy Wonka; his intentions were clear.
Your fears were just that: fear. It was irrational and based on nothing of consequence. However, the very fact that you were afraid let you and he both know how much you cared.
You would never take Willy, and he would never take you, for granted.
He would reassure you that though he was not used to sharing his world with another, that you were his world now and you would share in every aspect with him and reap the rewards of a unique and whimsical life with perhaps the greatest chocolatier who ever lived.
Take out all the fantasy and spectacle and you were left with only love and imagination.
All these people thought the most fantastical thing about Willy Wonka were his creations, but what took your breath away, and had since the beginning, was the man behind those creations.
You had fallen in love with him as much as you had with his brain and his intellect, his body, his soul. You wanted to dip your fingers into him like if he were made of melted chocolate. You would lick the essence of his existence off your fingertips to taste his candy-coated soul and sugared thoughts. There were not many candies or chocolates of the Wonka brand that you hadn’t tried, but none were sweeter than the man himself.
If he existed only in your mind, then your mind was alive with the thought of him.
All too soon, your thoughts abandoned you as you felt him begin to move.
He slowly pulled out, angled his hips and pushed back in.
The sudden movement jarred your body and you clung to him tighter.
As he began to set a pace, you rolled your hips down onto him each time that he pushed in. This seemed to please him, witnessing you thrusting with him, your bodies moving in unison toward a shared release and reciprocation of pleasure.
He grunted softly in your ear with the effort of thrusting into you. His soft curls tickled your cheek and you bit back a giggle. A particularly rough thrust ripped the sound from your throat and you laughed aloud.
His brows furrowed in amusement at your laughter, but he grinned with you nonetheless.
His thrusts became harsher, deepening as you adjusted and conformed to the rhythm and pace he set that was creating a delicious friction between your legs. You moaned shamelessly into his ear and he thrusted harder, encouraged by the sinful sounds you were making.
Willy kissed you, his lips feverishly moved against yours as he held you in his embrace and your skin blazed with red hot fervor. A thin sheen of sweat clung to your bodies and you could feel the heat rolled off him in waves. Sweat beaded on his upper lip, but it didn’t bother you as you kissed him harder, demanding more intensity out of your shared intimacy. Your core pulsed, muscles gripping and clenching tightly around his cock.
Your moans began to take on a higher pitch the closer you got to your release. Willy could tell that you were close now and he was eager to send you over the edge. Sex was, at least for him, about mutual enjoyment and gratification, not domination, exploitation or manipulation. It was about individuals who loved each other enough to put aside their individuality and become one, just for a moment of bliss.
His forehead pressed against yours as he thrusted into you harder than before, his pace becoming erratic the closer he came to his own release.
As he panted, you felt his breath fan across your face and he smelled of chocolate.
You balanced on the edge of oblivion as your feverish coupling would soon send you into orgasm.
After a few more hard thrusts, Willy slipped a hand between your legs and gently rubbed your clit. Your release seized you, your body shaking violently with hurricane force winds of equal parts pleasure and zest. It was as if the air had been knocked out of you and you were falling down into his waiting arms. Ecstasy radiated from your core, carried in waves throughout your body.
You were alone with your pleasure, waiting on your lover to join you in the afterglow.
You cried out his name as he thrusted into you through your orgasm. He lasted several moments after you came before he released, filling the condom with several hot bursts of his seed.
He had just enough strength left in his body to pull out and collapse beside you. His harsh panting soon turned to gentle sighs as his heartrate decreased and his body cooled. His strawberry blonde curls were plastered to his forehead with sweat and were sticking out at wild angles except for the top which was always a bit flattened from the way he wore his hat.
You reached out and petted his frizzy hair, your fingers delicately massaging his scalp. He let out a quiet little moan and you smiled at him.
With a deep inhale, he sat up and peeled the sticky condom off his softening prick. He tied it up and tossed it in the wastebin, then snatched his underwear off the ground. He picked yours up as well and handed them to you for you to slip on.
You got off the bed and put your panties back on, then crossed the room to the bathroom. A few moments later, when you returned after you had cleaned yourself up, you found him lying in bed waiting for you.
He smiled at you as you approached and extended an arm out to let you curl into his side as you got back on the bed with him. He already had a blanket laid out to pull across your nude bodies so that you could cuddle in modesty and without getting a chill.
He looked down to watch you settle in and you met his gaze for a moment, appreciating his features. His gorgeous blue eyes were like pools of galaxy speckled with stars. His aquiline nose, which most people thought was too big for his face, looked proportionate in your opinion and beautiful just the same. He had the softest features of any man you had ever seen, slightly chubby cheeks, a round face and curved jawline. He was exquisite in every sense of the word and just looking at him made you fall more deeply in love.
As attractive as he was to you, his personality spoke to yours in a language only the two of you spoke fluently.
His appreciation for literature and culture was unique and inspiring and, because it tied in with your own, you learned a lot from each other. His quick wit and casual snide remarks that often passed over other people’s heads made you laugh as though you were enjoying your own little joke with each other.
During your private appreciation for this man, you concluded that you had no reason to ever think he might be pulling away from you.
In surreal Willy Wonka fashion, he seemed to read your thoughts as he finally spoke, “I’d like to see you in the Inventing Room with me tomorrow. I want you to be as involved with the holiday busy season as I am.”
He addressed your insecurities by offering a solution to the problem and your heart felt a bit lighter. He wanted you to be involved in his work so that you didn’t feel so isolated or lonely. He had promised to be more attentive and he intended to do just that, but you could offer him aid and visit him while he worked. True love was buoyed by compromise; you’d see to it that you did your part to keep your relationship strong.
“Forgive me for not being as attentive as I should be,” he continued, “I’ve been so busy, not to excuse myself.”
“I understand,” you replied.
He seemed surprised for a moment, as if he half-expected you to still be upset, “and it isn’t entirely your fault. I should come around more if I’m missing you. We’ll find a solution. We have time.”
Willy put his arm around your shoulder and pulled you close so he could kiss your head, “time is a precious thing, my dear. Never waste it.”
Between his words, you heard what he was not saying.
And while he had a point, what you did have was now.
You could agree just to exist for a moment, sharing in the silence of the universe and listening to nothing but your dreams and the sounds of your hearts.
You would fall into each other the same way that you fell in love: accidentally and achingly slow.
One day you would both look up and see how far you had come, but for now, you still had a way to go.
You knew his heart belonged to yours and that was enough to keep trying. Once the busy season calmed down and you had more time to focus on the two of you, you would ease into it like lovers were meant to, but right now you had an obligation to yourselves not to let the fear of failure drive you apart.
It might seem fatalistic to ruin a relationship before it had run its course, but you’d seen it happen and the last thing you wanted was for that to be yours.
You knew deep down that it wouldn’t happen.
Your love was as strong as your imaginations were wild and no mind would ever dare dream the two of you apart.
Welcome to my masterlist! This is where you can find links to everything I’ve written. Check out my STAR WARS MASTERLIST for more recent content relating to those characters. This list functions as a catch-all for my newer work, whether it's just a one-off for a character that inspired me or wider collections featuring some of my favorite characters. I hope you enjoy your time inside my little library~
Request Guide
Characters featured on this masterlist include: Alexander Mahone (Prison Break)
🌼 - smut / sexual content
Alexander Mahone
One Shots
Home: You are followed home one night while Alex is halfway across the country during the Fox River Eight Manhunt. He puts everything on hold to make sure you are safe and feelings arise. WC: 5.5K
hi i just want everyone to know that i will never ever EVER be angry with anyone for not replying to my texts even though you’re visibly online and reblogging/posting. i understand that holding a conversation takes a lot more energy and effort than scrolling and posting and that’s 100% okay. take care of yourself first. the whole idea that you HAVE to reply to someone when you’re online is toxic and makes mentally ill people feel as though they are bad friends just because they can’t always reply within minutes.
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Imagine your f/o staring intensely at you as you explain something you're extremely passionate about because they know that you're barely ever listened to by others.
WARNINGS: Stalking/being followed, drug abuse, drug addiction, crying, violence, criminal activity, anxiety/paranoia, blackmail, guilt.
SUMMARY: You are followed home one night while Alex is halfway across the country during the Fox River Eight Manhunt. He puts everything on hold to make sure you are safe and feelings arise.
A/N: In the fifteen years I've loved prison break, and the ten years that I've adored Alex, this is my first official public fic I've ever written about him! I don't know why it's taken me so long to write for him, but I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that I've been scared his character is not within my writing capabilities. He is so special to me, and I wanted to get it right. I am happy with this, as a start, and I hope to write more for him in the future. It is not a coincidence that this fic is titled 'home', because no matter where I am in life, whenever I come back to him, it always feels like coming home. I know there is not a big fandom for him that's never stopped me before I wrote this mainly for me but if you read this I hope you enjoy it<3 Also would like to note that this fic is especially important to me because this happened to me in real life. I was followed home one night after work. Nothing happened and I was safe, but nothing would've made me feel better than to have been able to run into Alex's arms after it happened.
It was infuriatingly perfect how they had done it.
Innocuous, innocently unexpected until he put the pieces together the day after, like whenever he ate too much sugar before bed when he was young and then experienced the most intense nightmares of his youth.
Alex had always known that something of this nature was bound to happen because he had been too stubborn to distance himself from you when it all had jumped off, but he also knew it wouldn’t have mattered to them. Anyone who had ever claimed any piece of his heart, whether returned to sender or not, was in danger as long as he still drew breath. He might have been bullheaded, selfish and outwardly exuded multifaceted levels of confidence, but he wasn’t stupid. He’d been brought into the manhunt strictly because of his intelligence and because he wasn’t afraid to cut through any red tape, by any means necessary, to achieve the overarching goal.
Through all of it, you were his top priority, and he never let himself forget it, but that was what made this so difficult for him to stomach. When you needed him, he’d been halfway across the country with no means or way of getting to you out of immediate necessity. Your frantic phone call replayed in his mind, haunting him the entire duration of the plane ride back to Chicago so much so that he’d visited the lavatory more than a handful of times to splash water on his face because despite the Veratril coursing through his system he was still vibrating with adrenaline, plagued by visions of what could have been, if the forces that be had not chosen to spare you the night before.
He realized that he needed to maintain appearances, settle down, and get to you and only then could he let his guard down, just enough, to collapse fully into your arms and let it resonate that you were still here, unscathed, holding him the way you used to before this mess had blown up in his face. His work became the torrid affair he was wrapped up in and there was no escape, couldn’t break free until the time was just right, or else he’d risk more than just his own life.
In that was he a little jealous of Michael Scofield, because he didn’t have the option of running.
Of course, he did care if he died, only because if he were gone, then who would make certain you were safe? He felt less and less like he had anyone left to trust and that was why he hadn’t pushed you away in the pursuit of a safer bet, choosing to be alone until he could walk away without a doubt in his mind that it was truly over and that no one was left to come after him. He doubted that day would ever come, and he knew for a damned fact that you weren’t any less stubborn than he was; if he thought he was walking away from you without so much as a goodbye or even an explanation, then he’d have far more to worry about than the Company and Internal Affairs breathing down his neck, combined.
As the plane prepared for landing, circling the airstrip overhead until given clearance to land, he leaned back in his seat and tried not to think about anything except for getting to you. He was aware that when he landed, he’d have over a dozen missed calls, most of them from headquarters and perhaps some from Bill Kim himself, that little weasel who had the nerve to refer to himself as an operative, and yet he detested being out in the field and said so himself, and Alex had to restrain himself from punching the man in the face every time he came in visible contact with him, but he kept himself in check because that was the difference between your safety and your connection in all of this.
Involving you in the mess he’d made of his life was not an option.
Alex was painfully aware that Bill Kim felt superior to him, spoke like he was above Alex in every way, just because no one could trace his filthy deeds back to him like Alex’s could be, if not for forensic DNA evidence and a hunch. That didn’t mean they weren’t there, and deep down Alex knew how true it was for him too, only he’d thought he’d done a stellar job of concealing his own transgressions until the Company had gotten wind of them.
In moments of self-reflection that he tried to avoid, he realized it was more obvious than he’d ever outwardly be willing to admit. It was all a means to an end that he’d justified by reminding himself that he didn’t have a choice in the matter. His choices were to either come clean and face the repercussions or die trying, because he wasn’t backing out until it was over, and then he would have no more ties to the Company or anyone willing to do anything to harm you.
If he chose to tell his truth, he’d be implicating you, not to law enforcement but to the people who wouldn’t hesitate to put a bullet in your head if they thought it would make him compliant with their wishes.
Alex grimaced; his phone felt heavy in his pocket with the weight of what was most likely waiting for him, and he swiped a heavy hand over his weary face while he tried to clear his mind, but he could still hear your voice in his head, the sharp, quick breaths you’d drawn as you tried to maintain your composure, and the thunderclap when it all finally crumbled, and your broken sobs had echoed through his end of the line while he tried desperately to calm you down and gather as much information as he could while it was all still fresh in your mind.
***
“Honey, hey, sweetheart, please…try to calm down and talk to me,” he had reasoned with you, swapping the cellphone to his dominant hand to get a better hold on it, and so he could stuff his left hand into his pocket to keep it from shaking so much as it clenched around nothing, “walk me through exactly what happened. Are you safe right now? Where are you?”
“I-I’m home now…the doors are locked. Alex, I’m scared! Where are you?! I need you, please-”
“I’m coming, honey, I’m on my way. I’ll be right there, I promise. I’m getting on a plane right now. Stay calm, and I’ll be there as soon as I can. Alright? Now, I need to know exactly what happened. Can you do that for me?”
“I was…on my way home from work. And I noticed this car…it was following me, and I…”
“When did you notice it start to follow you?”
“I don’t know…I think they picked me up on the main road and followed from there down to our street. Our neighborhood, you know how it’s…there’s not a lot of cars that go through there, so I noticed it immediately.”
You and Alex lived in an area that was almost like a cul-de-sac, a very secluded, quiet little neighborhood with lots of families, the kind where parents felt safe enough to let their children play out by themselves in their front yards or ride their bikes around the block with minimal supervision, or even take the dog for a walk without their phones on them.
Despite it happening late at night, there would have been enough light from the streetlamps and few enough cars on the road at that time for you to take stock of your surroundings and notice something out of place, and Alex was grateful for your diligent observance. It was something he had drilled into your head, especially as of late, and you never knew why except for the fact that he was an FBI agent, well-versed in personal and public safety, and knew the horrors that lurked in dark corners, waiting patiently for innocent victims.
He’d begged you to carry a weapon, take a course and get properly certified, but he hadn’t been able to convince you. Perhaps this would change things but now was not the time for “I told you so”.
“Were you able to tell what kind of car they were driving? The make or model? Defining features, any headlights or taillights out, things like that?”
“Uh…” you hesitated as you tried to recall, but you were still so shaken up that your only thought had been to get inside where it was safe and immediately phone Alex, “No. No burnt out lights. It was too dark to tell much about the car other than I think it was black. A sedan, but a muscle car style, or something like it. It looked similarly to a Dodge Challenger.”
Alex’s mind was racing as he committed everything you said to memory, “so, what happened next? Did they follow you onto our street?”
“Yes,” you confirmed his worst fears, and Alex’s stomach dropped, “They followed me all the way through our neighborhood and back out onto the main road. I think by then they realized I knew I was being followed and so they turned and headed back the way they came.”
Your street connected twice with one other road, and fortunately there were two ways out, so you wouldn’t have had to turn around and face the potential threat head-on to escape. You had merely continued driving once you knew you were being tailed and hadn’t pulled off into your driveway and allowed the perpetrator to gain knowledge of where you lived. Thankfully, you hadn’t realized too late and were able to make a snap decision to continue driving, which now as Alex assessed everything you said and reasoned through it on his end, he had decided was your best option. He was proud of you for handling yourself in the moment, but on the inside, he was tearing himself apart for not being there to protect you. He should’ve been there, waiting inside your home, and you could have come running into his arms and he would have held you until the shaking subsided and you were able to give him a verbal statement he could take with him in to work the next day in order to track down whoever the hell dared to come after you, the very literal love of his life, and Alex was not exaggerating in his belief that you were the one person he was destined to adore for the rest of his days.
He loved you, and any threat against you was a personal attack against himself and he would hunt down the source of the danger and neutralize it.
Alexander Mahone had ways of making people talk…it was just a matter of finding them first; luckily, he was more thanequipped and qualified for it.
This was sounding to him more like an isolated incident and he doubted it was related to any of the hot water he’d gotten himself into, and that came as more of a relief than anyone except for him would ever know. Not that it made him feel particularly good to know someone had intentionally followed you home, but that meant the relation between this occurrence and the Company’s intimidation over him was purely circumstantial. He could never let you become cognizant of any purported danger he might be putting you in just because of his involvement in the Fox River Eight manhunt and his connection with the Company. You had expected, and even anticipated, any relationship you had with the face of a public, federal investigation would have certain strings attached and perhaps might even put a direct target on your back for those bold enough to come after a personal connection of a Special Agent, but you had no idea of the magnitude in which you faced if he made even one wrong move.
Any threat to you was treated as though it were personal, but Alex recognized grace in that this was seemingly a case of “wrong place, wrong time” and that the way you reacted had resulted in the best possible outcome. The person following you home had no idea where you lived and had left you alone once they had been made, however, that still did little to quell your nerves, or his for that matter, and Alex could tell you were barely holding it together as you gulped air into your lungs and tried not to let your voice carry the weight of the tears that were blurring your vision.
“Okay, I am on my way to you,” he reassured, his foot nearly pressing the gas pedal all the way to the floor as he sped down long, winding roads on his way to the nearest airport, “I’ll call Agent Lang and have her come by and take a formal statement. We’ll get that to the police and let them do their job and once I’m back in tomorrow, I’ll take a dive into it myself and see if I can talk to the neighbors about whether their security cameras captured anything or not.”
“Alex…” your low tone startled him, making his heart flutter and miss a beat as he heard you sob his name into the phone, “I need you…”
“I’m on my way, I promise,” he spoke steadily, even though he felt like all his organs were about to fall from his abdomen and into his feet, “you know where I keep the gun. If you don’t feel safe, you can get it, okay? Just be careful. Remember how I showed you how to turn the safety off?”
“Yes.”
“Alright. At any point you feel like you aren’t safe, you can get that gun, out of my nightstand drawer.”
“I know, Alex.”
Your cold, impersonal tone indicated your comfortability level with handling a gun, but that was a challenge for another day. Right now, his top priority was getting to you as quickly as was possible and he would stop at nothing to be by your side, consequences be damned.
“Take a few deep breaths for me,” he instructed, reminding himself to take one with you and as his lungs expanded, he feared his ribcage might crack under the pressure, “I’m getting on the highway now and I’ll be at the airport soon. I need to call Agent Lang. I’ll have her head over immediately. You just stay put. Can you do that for me?”
“Y-Yes.”
When your voice cracked, it broke him. Every emotion he was capable of swirled within him all at once, a heady concoction of the most profound and toxic constellations, galaxies and neural pathways alike both exploding as his mind expanded and branched outward, the stars collapsing and dying inside his eyes because of how long he’d gone without seeing you and how many times he’d told himself that it was for the best, but every fiber of his being recognized how untrue it was. It was far too much for him to take and as soon as he could park and have a moment to himself, he was going to pop another Veratril, just to take the edge off. He hadn’t kept track of how much he’d taken today, but a few extra milligrams wouldn’t be enough to put him in the ground—even a lead bullet fired from point blank range wasn’t enough to do that, so he wasn’t especially worried.
It was just the right kind of shock to his system, and soon he would be fully submerged in it all over again.
“And sweetheart? I love you.”
It took several moments for you to respond and in that time, Alex had already convinced himself that you didn’t love him back. You never would have if you knew what he was thinking, or that it was his negligence that had put you in the worst possible position imaginable. You would have kicked him to the curb if you knew the inside of his mind as well as he did; he couldn’t hide from himself, yet he spent every day hiding himself from the people that mattered.
“I love you, too, Alex. Please hurry.”
“Moving as fast as I can, trust me. I’ll be there before you know it.”
With that, he snapped his cellphone shut and took a moment to collect himself while he continued driving. To him, it felt like an eternity, yet it took him about fifteen minutes to careen down the highway and park in the first available spot he could find in the lot. He didn’t have much time, but it was enough for him to put himself together and be ready face the music he’d surely have to once he was back home.
He was a seasoned professional and had held countless press conferences throughout his career—he could handle things internally, but the pills certainly helped.
He inhaled as he reached his hand into his suit jacket and felt for the inner pocket where he’d stashed his pen. He remained focused on the sleek texture of it in his creased hand as he unscrewed it and dumped a tiny blue pill into the palm of his hand, then popped it into his mouth and swallowed it right along with the guilt that had crept up his throat like thick bile.
If his career didn’t kill him, or the conspiracy he’d reluctantly been forced to play a part in, then the benzodiazepines, his careless abuse of prescription drugs, most likely would.
He opened the car door and got out, running a hand through his unruly hair as he pulled the back door open and gathered his minimal belongings before heading inside while one-handedly dialing Lang’s number on his phone.
****
The plane’s wheels made contact with the runway and Alex flinched.
He’d been so invested in his memory that he’d temporarily forgotten where he was. All he cared about right now was getting to you as quickly as possible. The agency had arranged a vehicle for him, as they’d been expecting him back at the field offices that day until his life had gone to shit the night before. Not that it was anything out of the ordinary for him these days, only now it involved you, and when that happened, the Alexander Mahone that his colleagues knew ceased to exist, or rather, that version of him took a backseat and the family man he had once been, the protective lover, the romantic, the caregiver, walked through the door.
It was not often in his life or yours that you called him in tears, begging for his company, and that was enough to set his soul on fire and remind him of what truly mattered.
As soon as the flight attendants gave the go ahead, he was on his feet. He snatched his carry-on and was one of the first bodies off the plane. His long strides ate up the terrazzo floor, carrying him to baggage claim, which was the most heinous of tasks after a long flight, because waiting around was not something he had any desire to do right now, but at least it would afford him the chance to make a few quick calls, and update those involved in where he was with the hunt for Scofield and Burrows. He was so caught up in doing right by you that, for one blissful moment, the manhunt had ceased to exist.
What a novel idea—a life in which he could leave the Bureau, put the past behind him, and pursue a quiet little existence with the one he loved. It made him feel embittered because he doubted a time would ever come when he’d be able to extract himself from the tangled web he’d gotten himself stuck in. The major players that wanted him in the game refused to let him go until they got what they wanted and they were out for blood, but never in the same way that he was.
Alex never minded getting his hands dirty if it spared the ones he loved, but it didn’t mean that he wasn’t remorseful. He wasn’t proud of his decisions and the ones he’d made thus far made his stomach churn; that’s what the pills were for, to keep him two steps ahead of where the escapees expected him to be, and so that he could sleep at night.
If he wanted his freedom, then he would earn it in blood.
****
The street was quiet when Alex pealed into the driveway of your suburban home, and for that was he eternally grateful. He didn’t remember passing a single speed limit sign on the way to you and, even while he was pushing 70 miles an hour, he gave little thought to the rules of the road. The only thought that pressed on his mind was making sure you were still in one piece, even if he was unraveling at the seams. He knew that you would mend him whole again, your touch the needle that stitched the shards of his heart back together, his veins the very threads that kept him from falling apart, the same veins that carried that unforgivable little secret he kept hidden inside his pen to every part of his body.
He had expected the adrenaline to have crashed by now, thinking that the flight should have encumbered him enough to bring him down a bit, but he was still wired, like he’d drank too much caffeine. Reality felt warped, like he was watching himself from afar as he fumbled with putting the vehicle in park, barely remembering to turn the key and pull it from the ignition and unbuckling his seatbelt before practically falling out of the driver’s side of the car in his haste to get to you.
He took the front steps two at a time, a familiarity he would have fondly reflected on if the circumstances were anything but this and fished in his pockets for the set of keys he knew would be there, their presence a comfortable weight indicative of what home felt like, or at least what it once had, before things had changed.
The only better feeling would have been your body in his arms, and nothing was going to keep him from holding you; his heart knew then and there that if any demands had been placed on him before he could get there, he’d have laid down his life and all he held dear, just for this moment, the high he’d been chasing as long as he could remember, because there was nothing more important, no life worth protecting, more than yours.
He somehow managed to get his keys out of his pocket and shove the correct one into the lock, despite how badly his hands were shaking. He frowned at their uselessness, a sudden spark of worry igniting behind his eyes that perhaps the effects of the Veratril were wearing off already, or that the stress he was currently under required a stronger dose, but he quickly realized that his concern for you was the most likely culprit. If he hadn’t been so accustomed to functioning on empty, chasing his tail, digging his own grave, then it would have been enough to fully paralyze him, but he was a federal agent, and not only that, he was also former military.
He had seen this film before, and it was time to rewrite the ending.
Alex twisted the doorknob, noting the way the cold metal made his sweaty palm tingle, and pushed the front door open. He stepped into the foyer, and his nose immediately recognized the scented potpourri you’d bought several months ago because you simply couldn’t wait for the autumn season to arrive and you wanted your home smelling that way all the time.
He glanced around the entryway, at the photographs of the two of you that adorned the wall leading up the stairs, yours and his smiling faces staring back at him, a happier, more carefree version of him he no longer recognized, memories gathered of a time he could not return to except in his cluttered, overflowing mind. Sometimes, it was difficult coming home to you, not because of you, but because it was a gut-wrenching reminder of all he had given up and what he still had to lose.
The shuffle of clothing captured his attention, his heightened senses still attuned to your movements, and when his head snapped towards you standing there in the hall, his blue gaze caught your affliction first; your eyes were red-rimmed, and he knew you’d been crying.
Alex would have you walk right up to him and punch him in the gut rather than see you cry, especially because this time, it felt like it was because of him.
“Hey…”
His raspy whisper sounded raw to your ears, rough like weathered stone, and as familiar as the back of your own hand.
You held his gaze for a heartbeat too long, giving him just a second longer to puzzle through whether it was worth asking for forgiveness yet, but his heart lurched in his chest when you sprang into action, running right into his waiting arms like he dreamed you’d do when you saw him but he wasn’t certain if he’d earned that right or not.
He was once a military man, army infantry, then Special Ops—he was your soldier returning home from yet another grueling tour and his world-weary body could only take so much more.
Your sniffle broke his heart and as you buried your face in his shoulder, one of his strong arms wrapped around your waist as the other twisted up past your shoulder and his hand found purchase in the hair at the back of your head, keeping you steady on your feet while he gently swayed with you. It was a tender gesture, one he’d always done with you whenever you were suffering, from fear or sadness, it didn’t matter. It kept you grounded when he maintained a firm hold on you, and it allowed you to hide your face from view when the pain was too vivid for you to make constant eye contact.
“Shh…I’m here, sweetheart. Told you I would be. You’re safe. I’ve got you now. I’m home.”
What else was home meant to feel like, if not your hold on him?
Alex’s nose rested in your hair as he kissed the top of your head. You were clinging to him like you had no use for your own heart and were giving it to him instead. You were thoroughly debauched from a long night of little sleep and intense fear and he could tell from your demeanor that you were still more than a little shaken up and he worried that having to go the night without his strong presence and tender comfort had all but shredded what little faith you had in him.
It wasn’t fair that his life had turned out like this, but it had been his choice, and he had to live with that.
“Alex…” you whimpered his name as your arms tightened around him, forcing a soft grunt from him at the impressive strength behind you and the desperation it signified, “I…I’m so glad you’re here…I need you, Alex…please…please don’t leave me anymore…please…”
Every word you spoke was another nail in the coffin he’d built for himself. Buried alive, he was gasping his final breath right in front of you, and he’d use his last words to tell you what he should’ve said to you every single day, “I won’t leave you. To tell you the truth, I need you too. You have nothing to worry about, so let me put your mind at ease. I’m not going anywhere.”
You squeezed him tighter, if that were humanly possible, and Alex wheezed, “but if you hug me any tighter, I’ll stop breathing and then I won’t be able to be here anymore.”
“Sorry,” you muttered, embarrassment blooming across your features as you quickly let your arms fall away from him, stepping back to give him a bit of space, even as amusement twinkled in his eye.
Under normal circumstances, Alex did not mind if you crowded him, but he wanted to make sure you were safe first before letting his guard down too much. His gaze was reflective as he scrutinized you, a tranquil pond you tossed yourself into like a stone and disappeared beneath the surface. Your physical body appeared unharmed; his highly attentive nature and experience with reading people made it second nature for him to pick up on nuance.
Your shoulders were slumped, indicating relief, the result of tension leaving the body from no longer having to remain on high alert. There were broken blood vessels in your eyes, most likely from crying, and your hair was mussed from his hand, but also he could glean that you must’ve been lying down before he arrived, because your clothes, which were disheveled and slightly wrinkled, were the type you wore when you planned to spend a full day at home.
“Lang left this morning,” you explained conversationally as you turned away from him and slowly made your way towards the living room, “she sat with me all night, after the police came so I could make a report, and offered to pick up breakfast for me before she had to be in.”
Alex let you lead the way and as he trailed along behind you, his heart constricted when he saw the little makeshift blanket nest you’d built tucked up against the arm of the couch—his preferred spot—where you must’ve been napping when he came home. He felt that familiar twinge of guilt coiling inside his chest and his stomach clenched, but he squared his shoulders and swallowed the emotion, burying it, concealing it beneath the mask he put on every day before work.
It felt wrong to keep things from you, but he had been doing it for so long that it had become his new normal, and old habits die screaming…
Alex made a mental note to thank Lang for her generosity; he hadn’t expected her to go out of her way, at least, not as much as she did.
“Have you eaten?”
You gestured towards the coffee table strewn with napkins and empty packaging, remnants of breakfast that were left over from this morning. He assessed how much you’d eaten and decided it would have to do for now, but he was going to have to make sure you ate more at dinner once he decided on what to fix.
Right now, the only thing on his mind was calming you down and keeping you settled, even if that took longer than he would’ve liked. Alex would spend the rest of his life sitting with you in silence if it meant the difference between your stress level and his. The last thing he ever wanted was for you to be forced to endure even half of what he did each day, and it was all he could think about that you were into all of this because of him.
Alex blamed himself, because he should have been there.
You should have come home to him last night and he’d have dealt with it immediately. There would have been no room for mistake or assumption—Alexander Mahone was more than a little protective when it came to the person he loved finding themselves in danger, and if only he hadn’t gotten so swept up in the chase, forced into the game by players who were far more experienced strategists than even he was, then he would have been here to keep you safe.
It was easier to place blame onto someone else than to recognize it within himself, but he knew he was as much at fault as those others involved.
The guilt gnawed at him, yet he pushed it aside.
Alex eased himself onto the couch and patted his lap, a soft smile playing on his thin lips as he watched you eagerly take your seat, pulling your knees up as you perched on his thighs. He had his arms around you again, cradling you, his body your shield against the world, and for once, there was no manhunt, no Internal Affairs investigators breathing down his neck at the office, no Scofield or Burrows or Bill Kim or Kellerman…
There were no murky waters he was treading, only clarity.
No drugs clouding his senses.
No nightmares plaguing his sleep.
No conspiracy.
No guilt.
No death.
Just you.
And that had to be enough.
Alex’s warm lips found your cheek and the chaste kiss brought a smile to your face, the same lively glimmer returning to your features that he’d fallen in love with the very first day you’d come into his life, and it reminded him of what had always mattered: that no matter what he did while he was out in the field, the only objective he had had to achieve, was coming back home to you.
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I’m having some sort of allergic reaction today, so Alex took me to the store to buy an obnoxiously large box of tissues because my nose is running and I feel like I’ve got to sneeze 24/7, then when we got home, he made me some hot apple cider with honey 🍵🍯
I adore him so much, he is extremely thoughtful, resourceful and knows exactly what to do in any given situation. I think that comes from him having no choice but to be that way, but it led to him being very caring and considerate of me and he has no trouble taking the lead whenever I don’t know what to do or how to handle something on my own.
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