je suis une fake bitch

i really just keep getting prettier it’s kind of alarming like in a couple years it will probably be impossible to look directly at me I will be so pretty

Me: dangling hand off bed Demon: *grabs it* Me: what are we

currently drinking juice with my custom krazy straw that says “bitch” while wearing comically large sunglasses and i think im finding my true self rn tbh

How long must you suck in order for you to finally get the juice?

not gonna lie it takes a few seconds but whats the point of being a bitch if im not gonna be over the top

whatever *drinks red wine* *lies in the middle of road*

im a flirting machine with no off button

hubris will be your downfall

kind of sexy of you to say that

no offense but like… why are people obsessed with king kong and godzilla

Big

Loud

Handsome

*finishes suckin a dick **crushes it against my forehead like a beer can

kink: the fear in a man’s eyes when he knows ur about to hurt him