This Blog is Made From All Purpose Flour

yes im addicted to attention and orgasms and food and shiny jewlery and 7$ Iced Lattes. does that really not sound like an awesome lifestyle to you

I always know its getting toasty out in the world because girls start reblogging this post like crazy

(to the tone of creep by radiohead) but i'm asleep. on mypillow

if you're washed chopped and cooked then you might be vegetables

Valentine’s Day is barely for couples it is most importantly for elementary schoolers to exchange candy and for thematic fanart and fandom events.

fuuuck accidentally mixed up dowsing rods and sounding rods and now my pepeneus can detect freshwater springs

I'm sorry for doing that bank heist, your honour. It's just that, like, once you get to be around 30, it just seems to become impossible to get all your buddies together for some fun times, and sometimes you just get wrapped up in the magic of spending time with friends, and, well, one thing leads to another.

“My emperor is fine” your emperor has commissioned over 8000 life-sized terracotta soldiers and buried them facing east, in the direction of his recently conquered enemies in the hopes that they will protect him in the afterlife.

DELETE THIS IMMEDIATELY

IM NOT PARANOID YOU’RE PARANOID

would a “paranoid despot with innocent blood on his hands”construct a bunch of secret underground passageways under his palace to avoid the prying eyes of the living and dead? if anything, it just proves how INTELLIGENT and RATIONAL i am because no one can be sure of where i am at any given time! being in a constant state of heightened vigilance is the best way to avoid the assassins who are 100% real and 100% out to get me!

scenes with reunited lovers desperately embracing, kissing, touching each other almost as if they can't believe they're actually with each other, here, in the flesh after everything has kept them apart and they're afraid if they let go they'll lose each other again. put that shit in an iv drip i need it in my VEINS

remember when you’re writing a gross and terrible power dynamic that you should be asking yourself constantly how you could make it worse and sexier

there's something so good about a character who hasn't had enough comfort and warmth in their life and now has weird complicated kinda sexual feelings about being treated with actual basic respect and dignity and they feel like an awful gross pervert for it. i like those wires getting crossed

my doctor told me i have to do PT this fucking sucks

these exercises are sooo monotonous like i keep walking down the same hallway over and over 🙄

who was that.

the fucking fetus in the sink won't accept my insurance