* ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ , ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ .
@rosefaint glomps on him so tight " taku dummy why you leave " :c
๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐-๐๐๐ , ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐
๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐'๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐.ย ย a lover's smile like a stitched cut corrupt with melancholy, mumbling enforced half-truths.ย a strangerโs face askew, wearing the loverโs skin.ย a paper-white corpse walking away from its grave and stumbling back into life.ย a doll flashing a crack making its timely progress across its porcelain, sitting still, like fangs, brittle.ย like the husk of a star, hollowed of its serenity, his blood cold and bland, iron replete with repulsive memory heโd rather entirely censor. the spiders did not stop crawling all over him, white noise buzzed within the limbs.ย the shame of it, the shame to have needed and felt at all.ย the shame to have eaten from someone elseโs pulse, gilded and rotten ichor hitting the brain, a drug etching the imprint into the system, it shot savagely through the veins and to the synapses, hooked for dependence he did not ask for.ย the shame continued to eat on his insides, his pretty green orbs hid away murkily behind half-open lids.ย he, both, burned his eyes when looking, and desperately, needily wanted to look into the light, be worthy of his silver lining's welcoming visage.ย be blinded, be loved again, be warm again, be full again, be eaten again the way he wanted, be anything again but this.ย this.ย this empty, dead entity that did not even qualify as monster.ย starved and deformed imposter, ugly abomination reduced to animal impulse.
light bent and wrapped her arms around the corruption, he could not rob his loved one of her needs much longer.ย ย a year lined with eternity did not, by itself, repair its broken stuffing.ย a year withdrawn from love was a cruelty only comprehensible when experienced, his madness edged closer the tighter his love pressed against him.ย โ mโ โย the remaining impact of your embrace interrupted him speaking your name in a prayer ;ย praying harder as he sucked in air stinging like pure peppermint leaf, stabbing the gulletย โ mariaย โ ย maria ! โย iโm sorryโฆ iโmsorry iโmsorry iโmsorryiโmsorry iโm sorry iโm sorry !!ย โ i hold you, iโm here โฆ โย his arms surrendered their affections to the form of your upper body, your arms, all around him, squeezed till he hurt and he liked that he did.ย he deserved that he did.ย hold me till i break, he thought but dared not utter.ย it'd be not fair to ask for this much.ย it was due punishment to have his nose buried against the crook of your neck without a bite digging in, mouth mouthing, its gape ghosting more prayer, hushing itself quieter ย โ i missed youโ โย โ where have you been, where have you been ?! โย โ ... i can't say โย he crumbled to a whimper, half-pleading for the leash on his neck to end him there.ย โ but i looked everywhere for you ! โย ย
hold me tighter till i break, then
he thought but dared not ask for it.
however, what he asked had been โ you did ? โ ย there was the sudden, indescribable hope leaking its bioluminescent rivers from the stitched cut.ย the leash pulled but it did not matter.ย the stabbed gullet spread agony upon the throat but it did not matter.ย the mouth against your neck grimaced its sadness into the loverโs face but it did not matter.ย all that mattered was you. you. you.ย your skin, your hair, your nails, your yells, your laughter, your heart-beat pounding against him, your presence seeping between the cracks, perfectly in all their splendor, perfect in their imperfection.ย his prayers were answered.ย there was rapture, there was salvation, there was a redemption he clung to.ย there was a god, there was heaven, and the starved demon witnessed it nuzzled and nestled and cradled within his arms. and then, there was penitence. " if only i could turn back time. "
